


Flames

by lauraorgana



Series: Shades of Destiny [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Attack of the Clones, Coruscant, Family Issues, First Time, Forbidden Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jedi, Jedi Knights (Star Wars), Jedi Training (Star Wars), Major Original Character(s), Multi, Mutual Pining, Naboo - Freeform, Original Character(s), Orphans, Outlanders Club, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Pre-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, References to Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008), Revenge of the Sith, Sex, Slow Burn, The Clone Wars - Freeform, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, lightsaber practice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:07:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 107,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauraorgana/pseuds/lauraorgana
Summary: Elara Montrose works as a waitress in one of the most infamous clubs of Coruscant’s Entertainment District. After an unexpected sequence of events, she meets the Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his master Obi-Wan Kenobi. A diverse set of opportunities is handed to her, giving her the chance to choose her destiny. The path she chooses leads her towards adventure, frustration, growth and romance.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Original Character(s), Anakin Skywalker & Original Female Character(s), Anakin Skywalker/Original Female Character(s), Elara Montrose & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Original Female Character(s), Padmé Amidala & Original Male Character(s)
Series: Shades of Destiny [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622446
Kudos: 32





	1. 𝕗𝕝𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤

  
✰

**ELARA MONTROSE** is hiding from the Jedi.

Working in the Outlanders Club, she tries to make a

living and survive until destiny takes

her to **JEDI PADAWAN ANAKIN SKYWALKER** and

his master, **JEDI KNIGHT OBI-WAN KENOBI**.  
  
She must decide what she wants to be, 

setting her destiny.

𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓

 _Alicia Vikander_ as 𝗘𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗮 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲

 _Hayden Christensen_ as 𝗔𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝗸𝘆𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗲𝗿

 _Ewan McGregor_ as 𝗢𝗯𝗶-𝗪𝗮𝗻 𝗞𝗲𝗻𝗼𝗯𝗶

 _Emily Blunt_ as 𝗡𝘆𝗹𝗮 𝗞𝗲𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗻

 _Natalie Portman_ as 𝗣𝗮𝗱𝗺𝗲 𝗔𝗺𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗹𝗮

 _Winona Ryder_ as 𝗗𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗮 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲

 _Olivia Munn_ as 𝗩𝗮𝘀𝗺𝗮 𝗧𝗼𝗸𝗮𝗻𝗶

 _Chance Perdomo_ as 𝗜𝗮𝗴𝗼 𝗗𝗼𝗵𝗮

[all creative credits go to George Lucas, creator of the Star Wars universe and characters with the exception of elara montrose, nyla kelrian, small characters and relatives of elara]

**| 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐏𝐀𝐃: 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟕 |**


	2. Market

[ _elara_ ]

I open the white door of my hostel room sighing deeply. It has been such a long day in the club, just like every weekend. Despite how usual these days are, one never seems to get used to work as much as we do. My job starts after people are having lunch, and ends before the sun rises again.

It doesn’t seem like much, serving some drinks and singing occasionally, but the people make it tiring. You listen to the nauseating and arrogant individuals that frequent the club, you smile nicely at the clients even when they rudely insult you. I have witnessed many things in that club, from the darkest plots of Coruscant to the most beloved politicians.

I close the door behind me slowly, I drop my bag to the ground and I let myself fall on the bed. It feels liberating to be able to just close my eyes for a second. However, I open them again to look through the window as I lay on the bed, trying to find some peace inside of me. The upside down landscape of the city is still marvellous, even if from this low level the view is restricted. The marvel of Coruscant is the ability to create such a planet, to build a place filled with technology.

I breathe slowly, relaxing and paying attention to everything I can hear or feel around me. I sense the people that are staying in the other rooms. I feel a long list of emotions, such as fear, treason, hate, but I also feel love.

“I just hope they are not as loud as my neighbors…” I murmur to myself, opening my eyes and sitting up.

I pace to the small balcony, in which I enjoy sitting and breathing. Sometimes I read and watch the sunrise. Although it is hard to see the sun itself, I just focus on the colours of the sky. I also enjoy reading, but books are hardly my main focus of attention. I don’t have as much time to read as I would like. Sometimes, it is wonderful to imagine myself living other lives, visiting other places. It feels relieving to detach from myself.

Looking out from the balcony is quite a similar thing. You can just stand there and watch how people live their daily lives, and it is a quite interesting exercise. I find soothing the idea of my hair dancing in the wind, enjoying the breeze that travels through the streets.

But then there's the pollution. Coruscant is a big, industrial planet and the levels of pollution in the air must be scary to look at. Luckily, there's not enough transparency from the government for those numbers to be publicly displayed.

After a while of standing in the balcony, I decide it is time to go to sleep. Before doing so, I remember tonight is my free night. I should leave the hotel, at least for once this week. I go back into the room as I take the communications device.

“Elara, is there something wrong?” She asks as she accepts the call. I shake my head and shrug, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Oh, no, I just wanted to ask you if you are free tonight,” I speak. “Maybe we could go out” I suggest with a small smile in my face.

“Sure, yeah. Should we go out for dinner?” She asks, probably raising her eyebrows as she waits for a response.

“Sounds good.” I reply with a small smile. 

“Okay, I'll go and pick you up in our spot around seven?”

“Yes, see you later!” I smile and end the call.

As I take off my clothes, I feel a sudden shiver traveling through my body. It doesn’t feel like a climatic effect, but rather a feeling. It can’t exactly point out what’s the cause, or where does it come from. It may be I am tired.

It’s definitely time to sleep.

✰

As I look through the few clothes I have, I find a dark cropped top with a halter neck. I decide to combine it with some high waisted, wide leg pants. I don't own much, because I don't earn much either. I have learned to manage my money, and to only buy what’s need, always checking the quality of what you’re buying. I have no money to waste.

That’s why I don't really have a diverse closet. According to Vasma, I seem to have finally developed my own sense of style. I just think I dress with monotonous colors to not stand out.

Even after sleeping, reading and watching some of the new on the holonet, that strange sensation is still there. As I look at myself in the mirror, I think for a second about changing my mind. Maybe I should call Vasma and tell her we are not meeting anymore. Maybe it is better to stay in the hotel room, maybe I shouldn't play with destiny.

I shake off the thought before taking a jacket and leaving the hotel room, closing the door and taking the key with me. As I walk through the dark lobby, I don't encounter a single soul, not even in the reception of the hotel. The manager is not even behind the counter.

I walk towards Juunei street, the place where Vasma and I normally meet. Airspeeders are allowed in that street, and it’s a great place for her to pick me up. Once I arrive at the neon illuminated street, Vasma is waiting for me, leaning on to a cement column. She gives me a wide smile as she sees me.

“Elara Montrose, I haven't seen you in a while.” She says greeting me. I smile at her and narrow my eyes as I walk towards her, where she gladly receives me with her arms open. I wrap my arms around her and softly laugh.

“You saw me last week, you know, for my fifteenth birthday?” I remind her, narrowing my eyes funnily. “We went out, had dinner and got some drinks after it.”

“So, what I'm saying. A while.”

Our plans are usually very simple. I don't get paid enough to allow myself great entertainment or luxuries. I can only do that when Vasma invites me, on my own I would never be able to afford that. She, unlike me, gets paid really well. However, the quantity of money she obtains is not worth all that she does, or so she tells me. She works as an private adult entertainer. In other words, the word commonly assigned to her job is prostitution.

Ever since I left the life I had before, she helped me so I didn't make the same mistakes she did. She has always told me to avoid that business. Because once you're in it, it breaks you. She would get out if she had something to lose, but she doesn't see anything to lose in her life.

"Where do you want to go?" Vasma asks, as she pulls away. I raise my eyebrows and I watch her as she gets into the speeder.

"The diner, is that okay?" I ask as I jump into the co-pilot seat of the speeder. She nods slowly.

"Of course, just wanted to make sure. Maybe you had thought of a new place" She comments with a small shrug and a smile.

"I have a couple of places, but the diner is our special place. We can’t cheat on him." I reply jokingly as she starts the speeder. I look at the vehicle and grimace. “I should really get a speeder."

"I told you, you can use my baby whenever you want" She tells me as the speeder starts moving forward.

I give her a small smile before my gaze gets lost in the city and it’s orange tinted skies. I've never been on any other place than this planet, and this is the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen in person. I've seen pictures and recordings of other planets, some I would love to visit.

Coruscant is a planet with many facilities and things to make your life easier, but only for those who have enough credits in their pockets. There are those who are privileged enough to witness all that the planet has got to offer, and people like me that have to live with a low salary, in the shadows that the tall and expensive buildings create.

When we eventually reach the diner, it welcomes us with its blue neon sign. The Myndrav is a traditional place for Vasma and I, because we met here. We always come here, and at this point, Skaara Myndrav, who is the owner of the place, is in a sort of relationship with Vasma. It is difficult for her to find someone who actually accepts it, but Skaara strangely accepts her.

As we enter, he welcomes us with a smile.

“If it isn’t my two favorite girls,” He starts to say, before his arm brings Vasma closer, passionately leaving a kiss on her lips. I look away, forcing a cough. He pulls away and glances at me. “I suppose you’re not here to see me.”

“This is still a diner, isn’t it?”

“Of course, your usual booth is free, so go ahead.” Skaara tell us with a wide smile, before disappearing into the kitchen.

We sit down, order our usual and once our food has been brought to us, we just talk about our week, like the other times we have been here. The usual.

“Well, you know in the Outlanders Club, everything happens, but nothing is really notable,” I speak as I eat from my plate. I roll my eyes and scoff, looking at the food. “Everyday is the same.”

“Except that time.” She replies looking at me defiantly, and raising one of her eyebrows. I look up to see her and sigh, hating the fact that she is bringing up the topic one more time.

“It wasn't the first time that happened to me.” I say as I stare at her, shaking my head and crossing my arms over my chest.

“So... Now that means it is right?” She asks starting to get mad, as she raises her eyebrows at me. I stare at her for a few seconds, and when I'm going to speak, she cuts me off. “You know Elara, if I had wanted your life to be as fucked up as mine, I would have gotten you a spot in my club. But I didn't want that. I want you to feel free, respected and safe.”

“You know how hard that is for people like us. Specially when you're alone." 

“Yeah, but you're not alone.” She murmurs, holding my hand from the other side of the table. I take long and deep breath with a small smile on my face.

She's the closest thing I have to a sister, she constantly protects me and the only thing she wants is the best for me. Physically, it is clear that we are not family. Sure, both of us are brunettes, but our bodies and faces are completely different. She is really curvy and tall. Then, I am average everything: from my height to my weight, I am just like everyone else. I am a girl, and she’s a woman.

“Vasma, I'm sorry, I just-” I start to say, but I stop talking when they bring our desserts. Once they leave the plates on the table, I give the waiter a quick smile before turning to look at Vasma again. “I'm really grateful of our friendship, I really am. I honestly don't know where would I be without you.”

“I know where you'd be, and you'd be broken,” She replies seriously “You're not made for this, trust me.”

“Or dead” I mumble, starting to eat from my dessert. She raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly.

“Yeah” She says softly, looking at her food.

There's a long silence between us, in which we are eating our respective desserts. I look at my empty plate after I finished. Maybe we could go for a walk, around the market. It is always a nice place to visit.

“We could go to the Senate District, and walk around the market.” I suggest with a smile, trying to make her feel better. I can sense she is not okay now, and she shakes her head slowly, giving me an apologetic smile.

“I'm not really in the mood. I really need to rest.” Vasma kindly declines my offer.

I nod slowly and look out of the window. I don't really want to go back to the hostel. Vasma must see it, because she raises her eyebrows slightly. 

“Maybe you could go, you can use my speeder.” She says, as she finishes her dessert. My eyes turn to look in her direction with a smile. It’s exciting to be able to have some freedom.

“Are you sure” I ask with a slight excitement. “Are you going to ask Skaara to take you home?” She nods and looks up smiling at me. It's a small smile, yet it's a smile. I nod and she throws the keys of the speeder to me. I stand up and I take my jacket.

“I'll see you tomorrow, okay?” I tell her, before wrapping my arms around her. She nods and hugs me with strength. When I leaving the diner, I wave at her from the door. She waves back, adding a blown kiss and I shoot her a smile.

Once I'm outside of the diner, I walk towards the speeder. I take a cigarette from one of the pockets of my jacket and I put it between my lips. I light it up, and the smoke enters my lungs, and they feel like a sandstorm raising in a dessert.

I get on the speeder and drive slowly in direction of the market, enjoying the ability to drive around. I park the speeder in a free slot before someone else takes it, looking at everyone walking in the streets. As I open my senses, I feel a variety of things, to be precise, feelings. I can sense people who are lost, while others are feeding on greed in an attempt to make some money and others, like me, are just here to have a walk and take a break.

Believe it or not, for me there's a soothing feeling in walking in a crowded market at night, where you are alone and yet surrounded by people. Surprisingly, my cigarette has endured the whole drive here, since during the ride in the speeder it had lit out. I light it again once my feet are pacing through the streets of the market.

Only in Coruscant, you would find yourself at the lively streets of the market at night. The curious thing about Coruscant, is that the planet never really sleeps. It is en ecumenopolis, and it was always moving, always awake. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I had always had problems sleeping.

As I walk through the streets, I see many different species, different types of people that send different energies, different vibes. I can perceive many things, but that calms me. When I was young, I used to get anxious in these kinds of situations, where I found myself surrounded by people.

However, as I grew up I realized it was more uncomfortable to be overwhelmed by individual energies the less people there were. The more people, the more blurred the sensation was. And that was what I realized I wanted, I wanted those feelings to blur. 

Some sellers try to get me to buy their products but, I cannot allow myself to buy anything. Money, again, is the most important tool in the galaxy. Everyone craves more credits, because credits do mean happiness for some people. For the most people, it means security, which is enough to protect what they love.

As I continue pacing around the market, I hear some distant, heated conversation coming from a small, hidden alley. I try to get closer to the alley. I rest my back on a grey cement wall, as I close my eyes in an attempt to expand my senses. They are two male individuals, apparently talking about some attacks directed towards members of the senate. That is something _big_.

I keep receiving a variety of emotions that go from anger to caution. I stand next to the wall, pretending I am waiting someone. This information could turn into a useful amount of credits. They are simply dropping a lot of facts and useful information, like names and places. This is a fair amount of credits. However, I notice they have stopped talking, and I take a look to where the two were having the conversation.

“Hey you! What are you looking at, uh?” One of them asks angrily, directing his feelings towards me.

I can't identify any of the pair as any particular species, since they are wearing hoods. One of them decides to walk next to me and the other one follows. I slowly step back as they approach and I open my mouth to say something. However, my mind can't seem to think about something to say.

 _Shit_. I think to myself.

One of them stands in front of me and I look away, searching for a way to scape. People here won't help me if I scream and they can't see me. In addition, despite the market being a comforting place for me, I am well aware that people always look for their own interests and their own protection.

“What did you hear?” The tallest one, the one in front of me asks with a deep voice, and I can feel his intimidating gaze glaring at me. I shake my head slightly.

“Nothing, I was just-”

“Shut up,” The other one orders with anger, anger that apparently is coming from me. I can sense that he was more volatile than the tall one. “We'll ask one more time. What did you hear?” I swallow and take a deep breath, as my eyes go through the both of them. I know speaking won't do anything in my favor, other than wasting time. They won't listen. 

I decide to do something _really_ impulsive, since my odds of getting out of this situation are already low, I can either lower them more or maybe, with some luck, survive. I take a quick breath, before kicking the guy who's in front of me in his crotch, while I push him against the other one. Another kick in his chest pushes him away from me.

Just as they lose their balance, I run through the streets like I never did before. I try not to collide with people in the street, being extremely careful and focusing in the empty spots of the street. I look back from time to time, and they are now following me. I keep running, but I need more air. I am not in shape for this. Maybe I should start doing exercise.

I run but I can't concentrate anymore in the people, I _really_ need air; I need to calm down, except that's not a possibility right now. I can hear my own heart racing, and I can sense my muscles are starting to ache and weight. My mind stops focusing on my body when I collide with someone.

I look up to find a young boy who must be around my age, one year older maybe, standing in front of me. He's with another man. They stare at me with worry and confusion, and I can sense that's what they are feeling.

“Miss, are you okay?” The older man asks, as he tries to put a hand on my shoulder, obviously noticing how rushed and startled I am.

I swallow as I nod, taking a short break from running. I quickly look behind me when I hear two far voices shouting at me. My chest feels like it is sinking when I notice I have to start running away. I take another deep breath.

“Sorry,” I tell them with a quick and forced smile, as I rush away again.

I run, without stopping. I decide to take turns in the streets around the market, hoping to find a way to lose them. But luck is not on my side, as I face an alley without an exit. 

I groan as I stare the wall at the end of the street with anger and frustration, because I can feel they are close. I don’t have the time to go back and run away. I kick a box as I turn around when I hear their heavy steps echoing in the alley, which is poorly illuminated, with orange and blue neon lights.

“Fuck…” I murmur to myself, as I step back slowly, in an attempt to keep them away from me. I had a slight sense of hope, I actually thought I could get out of this, but luck is just _never_ on my side. The two intimidating figures covered with hoods are now in front of me, approaching me slowly.

“You thought we would let you run away so easily?” One of them asks, enjoying their victory with a certain amusement in his voice.

“I hoped” I reply standing tall, not wanting to show my fear and not letting their overwhelming sensations affect her.

The tallest one scoffs and the other one, the more impulsive one, gets closer to her slowly. Even if I cannot see his face, I can imagine his chilling grin.

“And you even dare to reply…” He comments, as he takes out a normal and clearly sharp knife, pointing towards me as he approaches slowly.

The quiet one takes out a blaster. I look down and close my eyes. I need to calm myself down. Until now, the only things I have ever been able to control and levitate were normal objects, but maybe I could try with people. Maybe with the pressure...

 _Don’t be silly, you can't do that_. I say to myself, cutting my own train of thought.

I've never done that, and I won't be able to do it now. The taller one doesn't even hesitate, and he shoots in my direction with the blaster, but I am able to perceive it, and I quickly dodge the shot. At least I’ll always have the Force.

He continues shooting, and it gets harder for me to avoid them. I completely forgot about the other guy, until I see the knife in hand going for me. I try to dodge it, unsuccessfully. A a burning sensation appears in my arm, but I don’t have time to look at it.

I notice a metallic bar on the floor. I can definitely use it to defend myself from the guy with the knife. One of the blaster's shots hit my lower leg, and as I almost trip, I decide I am not going to give up. I feel the burn of the shot, sending the tallest man an angry look.

I grab the metallic bar, ignoring the pain in my leg and my arm. I defend myself from the man with the knife, as the other one's blaster has stopped working. I hit him with the bar, but his response is worse. He is strong and skilled, and I am out of shape and injured. When his knife collides with the bar, I trip back.

“What's going on here?” I hear an unfamiliar voice ask.

Both hooded men turn around. I blink until I recover the balance and I see a man standing at the beginning of the alley. However, my eyes focus on the lightsaber he is holding. He's a… Jedi. The hooded men quickly speak between them, rushed.

My eyes take in the image, as one uses the blaster to kill the other and the knife he was holding is nailed where his heart should be. Then, the sensations they irradiated disappear, leaving behind a hollow space. I have never seen anyone dead before. I avoid the thoughts that start to appear in my head and I focus in my own body.

I haven’t noticed, but I'm heavily breathing. I frown at the scene confused. The man rushes next to me, with worry.

“Are you alright?” He asks, putting away his lightsaber.

I do recognize his face, as I have just collided with him in the street moments ago. I drop the metallic bar and nod, coming back to my senses.

“Yeah, I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine,” I answer quickly. I breathe in and out, trying to calm down my mind and my body. I cannot decide which one is more affected. “I've never been better.” I lie without even realizing I'm doing it. It’s a natural talent.

“You don't look fine.” He murmurs loud enough in order for me to hear it, obviously not satisfied with my response.

He is a Jedi. He is able to feel my state. I shoot him a forced smile and put my hands on my hips, trying to conceal anything I might project.

“Thanks for saving me.” I say, facing him.

He is young and definitely attractive, with his blondish hair and his blue eyes. For a moment, the only thought that comes through my mind is how he is not what I had thought Jedi looked like. He must be a Padawan, because of his braid, that much I know. However, there is something surprising about him.

“Although I didn't need it.” I add, with a small smile.

In all honesty, I don’t like being rescued. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable, two things I wish to never be. I start to walk away from him, struggling a little due to the burning feeling in my leg. I take a deep breath as I put my weight on my right, injured leg. I hear steps behind me.

“Yeah, sure,” He mumbles behind me, kind of amused at the situation. He reaches me and gestures offering his help, which I decline by ignoring him.

“What's so funny? Uh?” I ask him, slightly annoyed. He laughs softly.

“Nothing,” He answers looking down.

I stop to take a break, as I also try to calm down my frustration. He comes next to me and grabs my arm, which makes me frown at him. I try to break free, since it's my healthy arm. The other one was injured with the knife.

“What are you doing?”

“You're injured. You need help.” He says, and I narrow my eyes at him, scoffing. Before I can say something, though, he continues speaking. “Also, you might have to respond for the death of those two. We’ll need explanations for what happened. And I just saved you.” He says more seriously, something that surprises me too. “You owe me that.”

I sigh narrowing my eyes. _I don’t owe him shit_ , he saved my life because he wanted. I remember about the Force again. I had thought about my feelings, but I hadn't thought that they maybe would notice my sensitivity to it. I close my eyes and bite my lip.

“Shit,” I whisper out loud, slipping from my mind. I close my mouth and cover it with my hand as soon as the word leaves my mouth. He looks at me and raises one eyebrow.

“What was that?”

"I… I am not responsible for their death." I respond, with the first thing that comes through my mind. I look at him, as my hand is still around my mouth.

He is already getting the idea of how hard it will be to obtain answers from me. He just stares at me, and I wonder for a moment is he is trying to use the Force to… Inspect my mind. _Can Jedi do that?_ I make efforts to prevent that if that’s possible, building walls around every corner of my mind. He frowns at me, and I take a short but deep breath. He knows.

“Where are the two men?” Another voice asks behind me.

I turn to look at it, and I find the man who had asked me if I was alright. I frown and narrow my eyes, but then I realize he must be speaking with the boy who saved me. They must be together here. He must be his Master.

“Dead,” I answer, before the young man is able to.

The man eyes move between me and the young Jedi, asking for an explanation as he crosses his arms over his chest. He doesn’t use any words, he just stares at us and stands, waiting.

“They killed each other after I got there,” The young Jedi gives a simple explanation. The man narrows his eyes thinking about the situation, as he touches his chin slowly.

“They were following you.” He states turning to face me, although it is also a question.

I nod quickly, wanting the situation to end as soon as possible. I want to go back to my room, to sleep. To forget this moment ever existed.

“Why were they following you?”

 _I have to get out of here as soon as possible_. I simply kept thinking. However, I might be able to benefit from the information. I step back, so I can see both men in my field of vision and I shrug, trying to make it interesting.

“I overheard something I shouldn't have,” I say honestly, looking around before dedicating them a smile. The young Jedi looks at me with a frown and he crosses his arms over his chest.

I don't know if that is an effect of mirroring his master actions or if it is some sort of old Jedi interrogating trick, but it is definitely a funny coincidence.

“What did you hear?” He asks. I glance at him, then the older man, his master.

I think I can confirm he is his master because I sense a certain relationship between them, one of teacher and student. His master tries to not project his emotions, but I get a glimpse of his confusion. 

I'm sure he feels something else, but my senses are not as attuned as the ones of the Jedi. They have probably spent half of their lives training for it. I just follow my instincts, not any training.

“Well, you know, political discussion. We know how people get with politics around here,” I reply, dropping the topic of the information. I start stepping back “I have to go, thank you for saving me, I guess,” I tell them, as I turn around to leave.

My leg still hurts, it feels like I step in hell every time my foot touches the ground. However, I try to not make obvious that I’m injured. From the corner of my eye, I see how they are both looking at each other and I start leaving. They run next to me, one for each of my sides.

“Seems a little too much to be just a political discussion,” The young Jedi drops, obviously trying to get something else.

He is smart, but I'm not dumb either. They know. And he knows. He knows I have knowledge of the Force and, I am terrified of that. The fact that now I exist in the eyes of the Jedi is alarming, specially when I have alway been told to stay away from them.

“Well, you know, people get passionate about politics. Sometimes too passionate.” I murmur, hoping they get the message that I'm sending. I definitely want to sell the information I almost died for. I took the risk, so I should transform it into some credits. “How much would you give for information to save a politician?” They look at each other for a moment, with confusion and interest, and I smile nicely.

“Is saving your life not enough?” The Padawan comments, almost scoffing at my words.

“I didn't agree to that, you decided to do that on your own.” I respond, taking my lighter in my hand and playing with it. 

“How about we take care of those injuries for free?” The master asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

“How about that and some credits.” I don't ask; I propose as my smile slightly fades. “I'm sorry, but I need the money.”

Both Jedi looked at each other for a short while, before looking at me again. I stop playing with my lighter, looking at both of them back, with my eyebrows raised.

The next thing I know, I am being taken to the Jedi temple's infirmary section. I walk inside a very bright room, which is part of a medical facility. It seems to be an expensive service, because I have never been to a clinic as clean and luxurious as this one. My leg doesn't hurt anymore, it just feels numb. The cut is bothering me much more, as it is open and the skin is exposed, burning at the slight touch of air.

“Your name?” The master asks me.

"Kaia" I lie, before they take me to a room and I have to sit in a medical chair placed in the middle of the room.

A couple of droids surround me to take care of my wounds, and I glance at them weirdly. I feel slightly uncomfortable with the droids. The Padawan and the Master walked in the room, and her levels of comfort start to decrease rapidly.

I told them an appropriate amount of credits for the information I have, I can promise I haven’t exceeded myself. The master shows a bag with the credits I asked for, and then he holds in his hands again, after I have clearly seen they have the credits.

“Alright, Kaia. Tell me what you heard.”

And I do. Sitting in that uncomfortable chair, surrounded by droids, I tell them what I have heard. Everything. And they must have liked the information, because by the time the droids have taken care of the wounds, I have got the bag with the credits in my hand.


	3. Offers

[ _elara_ ]

The feeling of being in the hotel again feels soothing, which is something I never thought I'd think. I close the door behind me and lay on the bed. I sigh and smile. But soon the smile goes away as I have a bad feeling. Something inside me tells me my life is going to turn around completely. I remember the last hours, as they replay in my head.

_As I exited the room, I felt how my leg was starting to feel normal again, and the cut in her arm was covered, it was better. I knew getting back to the hotel would be another topic, since the Padawan was definitely going to tell me something about the Force, or ask me some sort of question. Or maybe he had already spoken with his Master._

_They followed me out of the room, and the Master told his Padawan something that I couldn't hear. I could have expanded my senses, but it would only make my Force presence more noticeable. The Master stood in front of me and gave me a nice, sincere smile. He seemed to be a nice man._

_"Thank you for your collaboration," He started to say. "My Padawan will take you to the location you want." He said nicely, before he left me with his Padawan. He said goodbye and left, probably to report the information he had just received._

_"Were do you need me to take you?"_

_"The market is good."_

_"I can take you to your house." The Padawan proposed, and I knew he meant good, but I shook my head. "It is much safer."_

_"I have my speeder in the market." I responded, with a small smile in my face, a sincere smile._

_I obviously didn't want him to follow me or to know where I lived, who I was, but I didn't want to be rude to him. He nodded slowly and he pointed towards a hall, inviting me to walk out of the medical complex. He was going to ask me. I was sure of it. I couldn't sense what was going through his head, because I was blocking him and therefore, blocking myself._

_When we arrived at the speeder, I got in the co-pilot's seat, taking a last look at the Jedi temple. It was enormous, for a moment, I dropped the blocking to know what it felt to be there. It felt amazing, she felt filled with energy, and she could sense the amount of life and the intensity of the Force in the building._

_I had an impulse towards it, as if it was calling for me. But I block again all my senses, knowing that I am letting myself go. It felt attractive, the pull towards the Jedi. I turned to look at the young Jedi and he was getting in the pilot's seat._

_"You had never been around the temple, right?" He asked, and I nodded looking forward. She suddenly felt weird and uncomfortable that she was alone with him. After all, he was a stranger. I didn't know him._

_"Never."_

_"How does it feel?" He asked, as he started the speeder. I realized he was trying to get me to say something about the Force. I shrugged._

_"It's a building. I can't feel anything." I responded, displaying an amused expression in my face. "If anything, it is intimidating. It's just huge." The young Jedi glanced at me, and I knew he was going to try something._

_My head started to hurt a little, and blocking him started being difficult._ _I felt him pushing my senses, he wanted me to show my power. I looked at him, trying not to take my hands to her head, as it started to hurt more. He looked at me, getting his eyes off what they had in front. My eyes widened, and I could feel the headache increasing._

_"Look at the front." I tried to say without showing my mental pain, and he just didn't stop looking at me._

_"Admit it and I'll look to the front." He said, and I could almost see a smile showing in one of the edges of his mouth. I frowned at him and I closed my eyes, I concentrated all on pushing him out of my mind._

_When I opened my eyes he frowned at me, probably feeling the pain. However, he still showed that faint smile, because he knew it was a victory for him. Then, he stopped pushing, and he looked again to the front, before we could collide with a building. I looked at the front, taking a deep breath and bringing my hand to my upper chest. He laughed softly as he proceeded to go in direction of the market._

_"You are crazy." I spoke, taking a cigarette from my jacket, and I noticed that my hands were slightly trembling. "You almost killed us for a stupid confession." I put it between my lips, and I took my lighter._

_He glanced at me quickly and I could see the smile in his face. He was enjoying it, but I was hating it. Specially hating him for doing that. He had no right, just because he is a Jedi he is not entitled to force a person to show their sensitivity in the Force._

_"So, who are you?"_

_"Do you really expect me to answer?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow at him as I put the cigarette away from my mouth. He looked at me, and his plan was to stare at me, just like he had done before. I pointed at him with my cigarette. "That's not gonna work now, because I will take the steering wheel if I have to."_

_"Something tells me that if you don't want us to know, there's something behind it. You can either be dangerous or simply..." I raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to finish speaking. "Stupid."_

_"Nice" I let out, putting my cigarette between my lips again. He saw that my reaction to that hadn't been good, and he continued speaking, trying to explain himself._

_"My master was interested and he will speak with the council. You may have an opportunity to leave certain things behind, to start a new life."_

_"Maybe I don't want to start a new life." I started to say as soon as he stopped speaking. "Less a Jedi life." He frowned at me and scoffed, looking to the front once again. There was a silence and I realized we were almost in the market. I inhaled through my cigarette one more time, as the speeder landed on the market. I got out of the speeder, dropping my cigarette in the ground. I gave him one last look. "Thank you for the ride." I let out, and I thought he wouldn't be able to hear it. But he did. I started to leave, and I wasn't stopped. I could finally go back to the hotel room._

I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I am not sure if this the life path I am supposed to follow. I have always been lost, I've always felt like I didn't belong anywhere. And I still feel lost. Maybe I could use a change. But at the same time, this is as good as my life has gotten in terms of happiness in all my life. I know there must be more out there, but I'm afraid of losing the few things I actually have. I close my eyes, taking all the thoughts away and without even taking my clothes off, I fall asleep.

✰

_"Elara, don't let them find you" My mother told me with a small smile, as she held my hand tightly. I looked up at her and frowned, confused. I didn't think the Jedi were bad. I actually had thought and dreamed about being one when I was in the orphanage, they seemed to be adventurous and I loved adventures. I would dream about traveling far away, to save planets and fight for what's right. "I don't want that life for you" Then, my mother was just telling me that it was wrong. And I didn't know what to think anymore. I knew I had the Force on my side now, but I couldn't make any use out of it to make my life better. And I couldn't be like_ **_him_ ** _._

_"But.. I want to be like my father." I told her honestly, speaking my thoughts out loud. She puts her hand on my cheek and smiles proudly at me._

_"Oh darling, you'll be even better" She tells me, and I look down. I understand that she wants me to be strong, she really does, but in the shadows. I don't want to hide "Promise me, Elara. Promise me you'll stay out of the Jedi Order. You would never be happy there. I want you to live a normal life, being a Jedi would break you. We would never see each other again." And just like that, her dreams and aspirations had been shattered._

I wake up, disturbed at the memory. I close my eyes sitting up, I rub them and yawn. I look around me, making my eyes adjust to the light that is entering through the windows. There's a feeling I don't like. I feel like there's someone watching me. I look around my room just in case, looking for someone but there's no one here with me. I'm alone. However, the feeling is still there. As I close my eyes and sit up straight, the feeling intensifies. I frown and try to sense where it is coming from. I push to feel what it is, but when I'm almost there, it disappears. I open my eyes, taking a deep breath. Someone was trying to reach my mind, trying to observe my feelings.

I look at the time just to realize that I have no time to focus on who was invading my privacy. I have to get ready for today's working day and put my everyday outfit for my job. I sigh and go to the balcony, where the sight of the recently woken up city are splendid. I take a look at the sky and smile, noticing the light blue and orange as the day starts. I go back into the room, and before I wear my clothes, I check on my wounds, which are doing amazing. I put on the clothes for my job and I take my jacket, with my black bag. My mother gave me both of them them to me for my twelfth birthday, when she came to visit me at the orphanage first the first time.

I leave the room quietly, knowing everything can be heard in these halls, and close the door slowly, following the routine I am used to doing everyday. As soon as I'm out of the hotel, I get on Vasma's speeder and reach the Outlanders Club. The ride is great, as the air seems to be more fresh in the morning. It's all a sensation, as I know that that couldn't be farther from the truth. It also feels nice to have a speeder to use for myself, without having to depend on public transport services. I leave the speeder in a part of the of the parking spaces near the club. When I enter the club, I wave my co-workers, but specially Iago, since he is the more friendly.

"Hey, how are you?" Iago asks with a smile drawn on his face as I leave my things behind the bar. I put my things in my part of the tiny cupboard and get up quickly, looking at him as I sigh.

"I'm fine" I lie with a forced smile, but I've forced so many smiles that it almost looks real and natural now. "I'm having a good week, you know" I say as I take some of the glasses from a cupboard and place them on the counter. Meanwhile, he stops preparing some alcoholic mixes for the day, and looks at me, leaning on to the counter.

"To be honest, I'm having the best week of my life," He tells me with excitement, and I can sense his happiness. Feeling it, makes me smile, and it slightly makes me feel better myself. "Life's good, girl, even rent is good." He says with a smirk.

"And why's that?" I ask with another smirk "Something tells me you got really lucky yesterday" He hits me with his fist in my arm smiling.

"Stop! I'm not always sex, sex, sex, you know?" He says narrowing his eyes. "You've a dirty mind." I flip my hair and smile at him, raising my eyebrows.

"Guess where I got it from" I reply as I finish putting the glasses on the counter. "You don't deny it, though."

"Maybe because you're right..."

"Then I'm not wrong at all," I respond laughing softly, and I look at him. "I just know you and your sexual needs." I tell him amused, and he shrugs.

We are interrupted by the boss, who tells us what we have to do today. However, it doesn't differ from our daily tasks. Everyday is the same thing, just like I said before: a routine. He commands us to do our chores and jobs, attend the customers and if something else is required of us, we'll be told. Before the club opens, we have to clean it and prepare it. While we are wiping the floor, Iago dances sensually as the music in the background plays, both of us having a great time as always. I start cleaning the club for tonight with my co-workers and just after we had lunch we finish. Then the club opens, we sing if we have to, we serve drinks and then go home. But tonight breaks my routine, just like the night before.

As I am attending in the bar, I start preparing some drinks for a couple of clients. I give them their drinks and a smile, as a way of telling them ' _enjoy_ '. While I am in the club, I always block my senses from the Force, as the club was overwhelming. The same sensations went through these people. I am cleaning the counter as a man approaches the bar. However I don't look at him yet, as I have to drop in the sink the cloth I was cleaning with and clean my hands.

"Welcome to the Outlanders Club. What can I do for you?" I ask as I turn to face the man with a smile. However, when my eyes meet the man, my smile starts fading slowly. I find the Jedi boy from yesterday, with his dirty blonde hair and his blue eyes in front of me. I try to keep the smile on my face and he leans onto the counter, looking at the menu.

"I think I'll have a Taung's Breath, please" He says with a smirk, and I feel a deep pain in my chest. I feeI a sting in my chest, and I feel the urge to glare at him. However, I force a smile, however, I try to make it obvious that it is not real, not natural. I start preparing the drink, and I feel anger, rage increasing in my mind, and I felt my body burning from it.

"What are you doing here?" I ask nervous and confused, however, I cannot see his face and I am trying to block him from sensing my feelings. He knows where I work, it's impossible to run away from them now. If they were able to find me without my name, I'm not going to be able to stop them. My choices are limited. I hand him the drink and Iago walks behind the bar to attend other customers.

"My master sent me" He answers, as I know look at him. He is not disappointed or angry or mad, and I don't need to use the Fore to notice. He is enjoying this. I check on Iago to find him serving some drinks. I ask him for one doing a signal with my hand. He comes over with a nice smile, I look at him and he notices my nervousness.

"I'm going to go to booth number nine, bring me a Purple Rain" I tell him, forcing a smile. He raises his eyebrows with surprise and worry. He knows I never drink here, we had gone out to drink a few times, but I had said that I'd never drink.

"Elara, you know how strong we-"

"I know" He nods, and I look back at the boy, as I angrily get out of the counter. He follows me, but he seems calmed, relaxed and comfortable, while I am just feeling anger and frustration. I arrive at booth number 9, which is in a corner and it gives you privacy to speak. I sit down and the young Jedi looks around, before sitting down. "What does your master want? The money?" I ask nervously "I need that money, I can't give it back"

"No, he doesn't want the money back" He replies, frowning at me, but not in confusion. His frown indicates that he is going to be serious now. "I think you know why I am here."

"I just thought my answer was clear yesterday" I mumble. He narrows his eyes at me, trying to understand my position. I feel him trying to push my emotional barriers, and I frown at him. "You're not gonna get anything. Don't try." The pressure stops, and he just opens his mouth to say something. However, Iago brings me the drink and I mouth him a 'thank you', therefore interrupting the Jedi boy. Iago leaves, but not until he had eyed the man I was talking to. I'm about to take the drink but the boy in front of me moves it away from me, with the force. I raise my eyebrow "What do you think you're doing?" I tell him moving it closer to me with the Force.

"That's not good for you." He warns me, and I see genuine concern in his eyes. But I laugh softly and shake my head.

"Well, I'm sure I had worse" He looks at the drink but then he looks away "I can take care of myself"

"How did you learn that?" He asks, now with a hint of curiosity. "Where did you learn to control objects?" The question catches me off guard, and I frown. I honestly don't have an answer. I just grew up and I noticed I could do things with the energy around me.

"Um... I don't know, I've been doing it since I was small" I reply looking down. For a while we stay silent, but I decide not to leave now. I could but, I won't go away, they would find me. They know how to find me. Although I would like to know. "How did you find me?"

"We had your blood." He responds, with a half smile. I bite my lip at my own stupidity. I drink some of the drink I ordered. Of course, they had been able to access her DNA. She had given them her DNA. "I came here to offer you something."

"I don't want to be a-."

"Listen, just... listen." He interrupts her, as he leans on the table, closer to her. "My master, Obi-Wan spoke to the council about you. I wasn't the only one who felt how strong you are with the Force." He explains, as I listen to him and stare at him blankly, trying not to show any emotion. "And you know you are."

"I am just a girl who is trying to survive."

"Why are you so insistent about not being a Jedi?" He asks me, not able to get my reasoning.

"Well, I just don't want to give up the possibility of having a normal life. I want to be able to choose."

"Elara." He says, and it is the first time he says my name, confirming that they know my identity. It made me look at his eyes, the fact that he called me by my name. "I've read where you come from. I read about the orphanage. Don't you think you deserve to be more than a bartender, more than a waitress?" I look at him and I can see for brief moment myself in the Jedi. Fighting, running, exploring, _living_. I want that. But then I picture my mother.

"That's unfair then." I simply reply. "You get to know everything about me, and I know nothing about you." I am still angry, I feel like my privacy has been invaded and like my decisions are not being respected. I must admit that I honestly never felt like I could take my own decisions and yes, this could be an opportunity. But I am not going to say that. Not out loud. I can't entirely admit it to myself. As my mother keeps appearing in my mind.

"You really want to know about me?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. However, he looks more serious now, and that's when I know that he doesn't like to speak about it. I've triggered something. He drinks from his glass for the first time, and he takes a deep breath. Although I cannot tell if it's due to the drink or to his past. Maybe both. "I come from nothing, but I had to leave things behind to become a Jedi. I'm grateful to the order for getting me out of the situation I lived in, because I've grown strong, happy and lived experiences I would had never have if I had stayed there." I stare at him, knowing that what he is telling me is really personal. If he shares it, it must have a reason. He either wants to help me, like they helped him, or he feels guilty for reading about me. I drink again, and my throat burns, much more than when I smoke. I look at my drink, and think for a moment. He was offering me something.

"What was your offer?" I say as I raise my eyes to look at him, and he does the same. His eyes meet mine, and I can see a spark of hope, as if he truly believed in me. I don't even believe in myself, why would he?

"The Council wants to meet you. Despite your age, they are willing to test you for a week. A week for them to check your level, a week for you to decide if you like it. Just a week." He explains. I can see a smile in the edge of his mouth. The proposition is tempting. I can't think about not taking it. It is a trial. You can step back from trials. Trials don't have to definitive. I could try to see how is it, if I can really do it. "And I have a friend you could stay with while you are still in trial."

"I have my own place."

"No you don't." The Jedi speaks confidently, making me frown. "You've been staying in an hotel in one of the outer districts." I scoff and shake my head, incredulously. I cannot believe the amount of information they have about me. However, the only information they won't be able to find is my father's identity. I was given my mother's surname when I was born.

"Seriously?" I narrow my eyes at him. "You just had bloody DNA."

"There are databases available for the Jedi to find people easily." He states drinking again from his glass. I take a deep breath and shake my head. These Jedis have everything in their hand to do whatever they want. "What do you say to the offer?"

"I don't know..." I tell him really sorry. I can't become a Jedi. But, in truth, I've always wanted to be one, to hold a lightsaber and fight for the common good, go on adventures and save people. When I found out my father had been a Jedi, I just wanted to be one. I wanted to feel closer to him, and maybe, just maybe, it would give me confidence.

"Can I?" He says looking at the drink. I look at it, then at Anakin.

"Isn't it bad for your body?" I ask him narrowing my eyes. He rolls his eyes, and I grin slightly, finding it funny. I pass him the drink and he drinks a bit. Then he sighs.

"This drink, I've got a feeling, is like you." He starts to say, holding the glass in his hand. "Explosive, maybe bitter without meaning to, but at the end there is a sweetness to it that balances all. And the mixture of all those ingredients together, makes a strong one." I curiously look at him, understanding what he means and debating with myself if I should feel insulted or flattered.

"That's a terrible metaphor you know" I comment raising my eyebrows at him amused, and I achieve to make him laugh a bit. He smiles widely and, somehow, that manages to draw a smile on my face. His smile is beautiful, and almost contagious. He is very attractive, too much for being a Jedi.

"I know, but the point is that... The Force is too strong with you to let you go." He says looking at me. I look down. "Take this opportunity, don't throw it away because you'll regret it."

"Do you regret it?"

"I would be lying if I told you I don't miss what I left behind, but I don't regret it." He honestly speaks. I look at him and I know it is now or never. It is a great opportunity: to choose for myself, to get out of the routine I hate, to live a different life and meet different people, to learn new things. It is _my chance._

"Alright. Yes. I accept." I can see the smile that appears in his face, as he nods and he hands me a portable communicator. I take a deep breath, as I know this is a big decision. It is a trial, but it could mean a great change for me. He stands up and I have to stand up too.

"I'll go a pick you up tomorrow. If you have anything to ask, any emergency you can always call me." He says as I follow him to the door of the club. "Elara Montrose, it was nice speaking to you."

"I don't think I got your name."

"I'm Anakin." He tells me as he starts leaving through the door. "Anakin Skywalker." I watch him leave the club, as he dedicates me a smile. I take a breath as I realize what I had agreed to.

"Who was he?" He asks curious and wiggling his eyebrows. I laugh and shake my head.

"Um, just someone that wanted to offer me another job" I tell him without specifying.

"What kind of job?" Iago murmurs as we watch Anakin leaving through the door "He looks like a snack."

"Iago!" I exclaim punching his arm and laughing. He leaves the counter as he's called by one of the bosses. I stare at the door where Anakin had just left. I know that boy is going to change my life. I just don't know how. Breaking free of my thoughts, I walk behind the counter and I continue serving drinks. I may not be able to come back here anymore, I am risking a lot with this Jedi trial. I hope it is worth it.


	4. Adaptation

[ _elara_ ]

 **I** walk out of the hotel room rushed, as Anakin had told me through the communicator that he'd be picking me up at this time. I use the elevator to get to the bottom floor. The ride in the elevator gives me time to think about my mother. I tried contacting her, and there was no way to reach her. She works as a caretaker for rich families that do not enjoy the presence of droids, and her schedule is based on the necessities of the family. I carry my bag with my belongings, as Anakin told me to get them too.

As I walk through the reception, I hide my face. I want to try not to pay. I get out of the hotel without a problem and Anakin is there waiting for me. I don't have to worry about Vasma's speeder anymore, because I took it to her house last night. However, I didn't tell her about the Jedi offer. They still had to meet me. Maybe they didn't even like me.

"Good morning," He greets me with a nice smile, before he takes my bag and puts it in his speeder. I smile at him back and quickly get in the speeder.

"Good morning," I reply. "I'm ready, let's go." Anakin looks at me with his eyebrows raised and nods.

"So impatient now." He comments, jumping in the driver's seat.

"I didn't pay. I want to leave." I confess, but I didn't even want to confess. He glances at me and starts the speeder.

"Alright, we're leaving." The speeder started to move and I saw how we left behind the hotel where I had been staying for three years. It had been my home, but it didn't feel like it. The ride to the temple was quiet and comfortable, maybe because I was nervous, maybe he wanted to give me time or maybe because it was the morning and both of us still needed to sleep.

When we arrived, the Jedi Temple is an intimidating place when an outsider saw it. However, when I extend my senses, the place is the most comfortable place I had ever been to. I follow Anakin through the tall and large halls of the Temple. Everything around me amazes me. From the lamps to the marble floors, the huge doors and the variety of Jedi that bring life to the Temple. There are kids following some older Jedi, who sometimes bow in front of Anakin. All these feelings almost made me forget about the reasons not to be a Jedi. For a moment, there weren't any reasons.

Even though the place brings me peace, I am still nervous to see the council. I don't know much, but I do know that the Jedi Masters, the most skilled and prepared Jedi were in the Council. They are the wisest, the strongest and the oldest. They are figures to respect. And I was going to be brought to them. I must be projecting something, or it must be obvious because Anakin looks at me with a frown, but it is soft.

"It'll be okay, calm down" Anakin tells me as we keep walking through the immense halls of the Temple. I take a very deep breath, looking at him and shaking my head.

"This is new for me. And nothing has been promised to me. I am old, I'm not young. I have to leave things behind for this, like my job. If this doesn't work, I would be jobless, without a place to live in. Basically, I'd be ruined." I explain, looking down at the ground. He puts his hand on my arm and stops me, in the middle of the hall. When I look up at him, he is looking down at me.

"You'll be alright." He murmurs, and I can see in his eyes he really believes it. "I know they will love to have you joining the Jedi Order. You have potential." I blinked, as it was a word that had never been directed to me before. I had never believed I had potential for anything. "You will be okay."

"But what if I don't have that choice?" I ask, not able to take that thought off my mind.

"My friend can help you. She's glad she can help somehow. And if you need help, she will help you." He promises, because it is promise. I _know_ it is. "We'll go to her house later." He changes the subject, as he starts walking again. I follow him again, and try to catch up with his longer legs walking by walking faster. However, we stop again, but now in front of the man who was the Jedi Master of Anakin.

"Elara" He says making a slight bow. I reply with an awkward bow after Anakin whispers me to do one too.

"You must be Obi-Wan." I say, putting a smile on my face, in an attempt to be nice. He smiles and nods. Suddenly, I can feel the calmness he radiates and transmits. He seems like the perfect Jedi. He is what imagined Jedi to be like, not like Anakin. He doesn't look Jedi to me. He just looks like a boy.

"It's nice to see that you chose to join us" He speaks calmly, as we start walking again. I frown slightly with a smile drawn on my face.

"I just hope I am not making a mistake" I mumble, looking at the ground for a moment. Obi-Wan glances at me, before Anakin changes the subject once more. This sudden changes are making me confused.

"We were going to the Jedi Council" Anakin informs. They both walk with class and I feel stupid for not knowing how to walk properly. The nervousness is causing me sickness and I'm starting to feel dizzy. Anakin soon enough senses it, walks next to me grabbing my arm.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asks, with certain worry in his voice. I nod and take a deep breath.

"I'm nervous, that's all," I respond, keeping my eyes on a big door, which seems to be the door that leads to the room of the Jedi Council. He looks at me and I look back, and his eyes transmit a message.

 _I promised you'll be alright_. I hear somehow. I frown and he smiles surprised. _You can hear me_? I nod, confused at what he is doing. However, even though he is excited, he is also confused. _That's weird_. I look away and I frown, not wanting to focus on what just happened, but rather think about the Jedi Council.

Obi-Wan opens the door, and as he does, I start to see all the Jedi Masters, from different places and different species sitting in seats, creating a semi-circle. All their eyes, focus on me, and she steps into the room slowly, only after Obi-Wan has entered the room himself. Anakin just walks behind me.

"Master Yoda," Obi-Wan greets doing a bow. "This is Elara Montrose, she is the girl I talked to you about." His Padawan whispers me to go in the middle of the room. I walk slowly, focusing on not tripping, as my legs are nervously shaking.

"Elara" Master Yoda says. I make a bow at the tiny green creature "Your age, we must know" His way of grammatically ordering the words is strange to me, and it makes me frown for a small second. Then, I realize he asked me a question and I answer.

"I just turned fifteen," I answer, looking at the Jedi Master. Another one, who is a dark skinned man, decides to join to conversation.

"We hear you have some knowledge about the Force" He comments curiously. I nod confidently, trying to take this situation with determination. "When did you start to have knowledge of it?"

"I think since I was a little girl. I used to sense everything around me, I felt the energies. As you may know I grew up in an orphanage, and I could also feel the emotions of my roommates. Then I read a book about the Force and I understood what was happening. I started to levitate things, meditate... All to understand that energy around me." I explain honestly. I have nerve spoken about this with anyone in my life. It is the first time I even think about it.

"I sense confusion in you" Yoda murmurs thoughtful "The Force strong in you too, I feel it is" I nod.

"I am not entirely sure if this is my path."

"She's too old" The dark skinned Jedi says. "Many things may have corrupted her already" I bite the interior on my lip nervously. I don't debate that, because I don't know how could I deny that. Everything seems to go against her: her own indecision, her age, her knowledge of the world.

"Age enough should not be to decide for the future of a child." Master Yoda speaks, defending Elara. "Take I will, of your trial. Of your training I should take care, if to choose the Jedi way you are." He has defended me. Despite the odds, he seems to believe in myself. I smile widely, feeling as filled with happiness as the day I ran away from the orphanage.

"Thank you, Master Yoda." I tell him with excitement. Obi-Wan puts a hand on my back, accompanying me to the door, and Anakin walks in front of me. As the doors close, I hear how they change the subject and start speaking about political issues concerning the Jedi. Outside, Anakin turns to face her and I smile widely.

"How are you feeling now?" Anakin asks, although something tells me he doesn't really need me need me to speak about it.

"I feel great." I admit, enjoying the feeling and not really stopping to think about anything else. That feels good too, just living. "Excited"

"Wait until you start your trial." He replies, and I start walking away from the Council. "Master Yoda is one of the best Jedi Masters to ever exist."

"Should I be scared?"

"Not at all. You're going to do great." Obi-Wan comments with a smile, and I sense his calmness again. "Yoda will be a great master for you."

After that, Anakin offers to take me to his friend's apartment, and I accept. I need to settle in, and I have to take a break from all this new situation. Anakin is nice, he is annoying at times, maybe too cocky and arrogant at times, but he is a good boy. I still don't understand how he was able to speak in my head, it must be some sort of Jedi power that I still haven't learned.

When the speeder stops, I notice we are in a very luxurious building, a tall skyscraper that seems to be for the elites. It looks like the kind of place for a millionaire or politician to live, have a big apartment in the heart of Coruscant. I look up and frown at Anakin.

"Anakin, who is this friend of yours?"

"Her name is Padmé." He tells me as he leaves the speeder. He takes my bag and I get out of the speeder looking at the building.

"Alright... But who is she?" I ask, narrowing my eyes. "This is a very luxurious part of Coruscant, only high class people would have access to these kind of people." He smiles and shrugs, not giving me an answer. He walks into the building and I roll my eyes, taking a deep breath. He could just answer to me, tell me who she is, but no, he just doesn't seem to work that way.

I follow him and the reception of the building is already speaking for itself. It is white and bright, with glass lamps that warm the hall with an orange touch of light. I walk into the elevator with Anakin, and it has views of the city. I gasp at the sight of the city from such an angle. I had thought the views from my hotel room were enough, but this is flawless. I can see the best parts of the city and the yellow sun hitting on the biggest buildings of the city, making them shine like diamonds as the blue sky is reflected on them too. A sound in the elevator brings me back into the luxurious building.

I turn around as Anakin walks into the main hall of the apartment. The apartment is bright, and it has some red colors in the walls, which contrast with the amount of blue that enters through the glass panels of the walls. I walk out of the elevator and into the apartment, which is the attic. A very well dressed and elegant woman walks into the hall with a wide smile in her face.

"Elara, this is my friend Padmé Amidala," Anakin says as the woman offers me her hand. I shake it gladly, and stunned at the amount of luxury that surrounds me. I have never seen anything like this before. "Senator of Naboo."

"It is very nice to meet you, Elara." She tells me nicely, and I smile back at her. She is elegance in person, and she is extremely beautiful. However, she also seems intelligent, without even thinking about her being a Senator. She is the contrary of what I am, she is closer to the idea of what I would love to be.  
"Thank you for letting me stay here, Senator Amidala." I speak, trying to be polite and seem respectful. After all, this woman is opening her doors for me, a stranger.

"Oh, you can just call me Padmé." She says with a nice smile, and I nod slowly as I walk further into the apartment when she invites me to. The apartment is beautifully furnished, and all the details give the attic a touch of what I would think of Naboo.

"This is amazing." I comment amazed at the luxury of the place. "Is this your house?"

"Well, it belongs to the Senator of Naboo, and I'm holding that position at the moment so as long as I am a Senator, yes, it is my house." She explains as we walk into the living room, which has wonderful views of the rest of the city. The Jedi Temple can even be seen from one side of the window panels. "But I am constantly going back and forth to Naboo."

"If I had this house, I'd never leave it." I murmur, and I turn to look at Padmé and Anakin, who is still carrying my bag. I frown at him and go to take my bag. "I'm sorry, Anakin."

"Oh, don't worry. They'll take care of it." Padmé assures, as a woman walks in the living room and takes the bag from Anakin's hands. I open my mouth, shocked at the scene. This is too much for me.

"Thank you." I tell her, as she walks towards one of the deep blue couches of the living room, or what I guess is used as a room to receive guests "But I could take them myself..." I mumble, however, it seems Anakin is the only one who hears me.

"Please, sit down, feel comfortable here," Padmé suggests, although it sounds slightly like a nice order. I listen to her and sit down next to her. Anakin sits down too, although he sits in a different couch. I should feel strange at the fact that he is here, listening and watching over me, but it actually comforts me. A sudden question by Padmé brings me back to the luxurious living room. "How long have you lived in Coruscant?"

"Since I was born," I answer with a small smile. "I used to live in an orphanage close to the industrial sector." I point out, and she raises her eyebrows at me. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the orphanage.

"Oh, so you've never left this planet?"

"Never."

"I'm sorry if it bothers you, but I'm genuinely interested." She comments, looking at me with curiosity and an empathetic gaze that shows me she wants to know, to understand, to help. She's a Senator after all. "How was it? Living in an orphanage?"

"Well, I don't know. I guess it was safer than living in a hotel room, but it's not like I have ever known anything better." I comment, not knowing how to respond. I have few things I can compare the orphanage to, and they are not improvements. However, looking around me I notice the amount of privilege Padmé is used to. It must be a high contrast for her, but when you know nothing better, anything is good. "My roommates were the best... and worst thing. It is difficult for little girls to live together when they are so different and immature."

"Were you treated well?"

"If you followed orders, yes." I respond, narrowing my eyes slightly. "We would eat three times a day, the beds weren't the most comfortable thing but at least you could sleep in them. I used to play with my roommates all the time, when we weren't doing chores or-"

"Chores?"

"Yeah, the orphanage had to be clean and organized if we wanted families to come and adopt us." I explain, in the words that the keepers would tell us.  
"But you had to clean it yourselves."

"Of course, it couldn't afford to have a cleaning staff, but we were not always cleaning. We had to work," I tell her with honesty, and I glance at Anakin for a moment. He is staring at me with a frown, which makes me feel like he understands what I'm talking about. "There was a factory connected to the orphanage, and we would work there."

"That's child labour, that's illegal in a Core World like Coruscant." Padmé points out raising an eyebrow. I softly scoff and smile at her slightly, with a hint of irony.

"Well, Padmé, many illegal things happen under the gaze of the the highest buildings." I respond nicely, finding it really funny that she commented something as naive as that. She looks older than me, and she is a Senator. That's why it sounds weird for her to say something like that. "You should walk around the Entertainment District's lower grounds."

"Did you know it was illegal?"

"Not while I was there. It wasn't until I escaped that I found out." I speak, but I feel like I need to explain myself more. I am used to illegality, and Padmé is not. "But illegality is not a shock to me. I have been surrounded by illegal things all of my life." I tell her, and she smiles at me sympathetically.

"I'll be sure to comment it to the representatives of the Senators." She says, standing up and I stand up too. Anakin stands up too, but slower and he still keeps his quiet role in the conversation. "For now, I hope you can enjoy this. I can help you with whatever you need, just ask me or talk to me. I'll be there for you."

"Thank you" I reply with a smile. I am genuinely grateful, because I can sense her welcoming aura, and I feel warmth close to her. "I'm afraid I have to leave for the Senate now, but feel free to walk around here. Your room is the one at the end of the hall." She informs as she points towards the said room, and my eyes follow the direction her hand is pointed towards.

As she leaves, Anakin and I stand in the living room, and my eyes focus on finding the details of the room once again. I feel his eyes on me, but then he walks towards one of the glass panels, to look at the city.

"I was also stunned when I first saw this kind of life." He simply comments, with a small smile on his face. I look at him.

I could ask him more about his life too, more than what he told me in the club. That would seem like the fair thing, but I don't feel entirely right with that. I wouldn't like him asking me more things, and after stopping to think for a second, he didn't ask more. He didn't, just to show me he understands me. I smile at him too and nod.

"Well, it is stunning." I comment as I look at the city with him. I feel an inner peace, accompanied by security as my eyes capture the blue tinted image of the urban atmosphere of Coruscant. And in that peace, I can also feel him. Somehow, it feels comfortable.

✰

I glance at the buildings from the Jedi Temple as I sit by the windows of the room where I am supposed to meet with Yoda. My eyes travel quickly to the door of the room as they open. A short but seemingly mature green creature walks into the room. I quickly stand up and slightly tilt my body forward, as a way to greet him.

"Master Yoda." I say, as my voice softly cracks, as a result of my nervousness. I stand straight and Master Yoda looks up at me.

"Ready are we, to start?" I look at him and nod slowly, trying to identify if it was a statement or a question. "Sit." He slams his wooden stick with the floor, and I sit down with my legs intertwined in front of him, just where he slammed his stick. "Knowledge about meditation, you have."

"Yes." I simply respond. He stares at me, before nodding and he sits in front of me. For a moment, it feels funny, due to his small stature. However, I shrug off that thought.

"Meditate, then." He tells me, as he sits too. I look at him and nod, closing my eyes. I take a deep breath as I concentrate my attention in my body first. I focus my attention in my chest, which is synchronised with my deep and nervous breathing. I start to take air in, and I let it out slowly. I feel my lungs accepting the air, and the oxygen spreading through my body as I exhale. When I feel balance in my body, I start to feel an energy around me. "The force you must feel. Find peace, you should. Listen to it, you must."

I slightly frown, as the energy around me becomes more and more powerful. I feel a lot of things. I try to control the energy, alter it on my favour and make myself comfortable in the energy. The energy starts to be easier to feel. I can feel it on my skin, running through it and taking in waves of energy. However, at one point, I cannot feel the limits of my physical body. I feel merged with the energy surrounding me,and I can feel a variety of auras. I try to expand my senses through the energy, and the further it feels in terms of physical distance, the more I feel a kind of tension.

I decide to stop expanding my surroundings, and focus on what I can feel around me. I feel growth, wisdom, peace in my general surroundings. Growth that can be found in youngling's auras, in the Padawans learning from their Masters, and even the Masters growing with their students. The wisdom I sense all around in the Jedi Temple is not a surprise, since you don't end to meditate to feel the amount of intellectual background and power of the place. However, Yoda is one of the most powerful presences in the moment, maybe due to the distance between them. He sends me peace, determination, and he seems to be in control of everything. I would like to be able to have that much control over many aspects of my life.

Overall, everything seems to be in the right place, and for small moments I get glimpses of the future seconds for my environment. That's how I know my meditating session is coming to an end. I realize I want to speak out what I feel, what I am sensing.

"I feel calm, like everything around me is... in harmony. Even the smallest things... They seem to... Create a peace." I murmur, quietly and peacefully. I slightly open my eyes, knowing this is the moment to come back to reality. Master Yoda is sitting in front of me. We both stand, at the same time, as I seem to be more in sync with everything around me.

"To control the force, I'll teach you how. Everywhere, it is. Your best ally, it is. Understand it, you must." He explains, as he walks around the room slowly. I listen to him and nod. It seems he must have felt where was I lacking knowledge, as he knows what I feel needs improvement.  
"Of course, Master Yoda." I respond, with determination.

In the class, I have to learn how to control the Force, how to make it a part of me and not let it overwhelm me. Master Yoda seems either surprised or satisfied with the results, because at the end of the trial, he hands me a book. I look at it with a small frown.

"If a Jedi you become, the stories you must know. Understand the philosophy, important is."

Back in Padmé's apartment, I sit in the living room reading the book Master Yoda handed me. I can't stop reading about it. Master Yoda's class was enriching, and I feel better than I have felt in years. After the class, I just want to keep getting better. This is a very important opportunity: they are believing in me. Initiates are not supposed to be other than children, and they are making an exception for me. Why? I don't know, but I am just thankful for the luck I am getting, and I'm not going to disappoint them.


	5. Choices

[ _elara_ ]

 **The** lessons with Master Yoda are my favorite part of the day, although spending time with Padmé or Anakin is nice too. Master Yoda has taught me in six days more than I have ever learned. I can tell he is impressed by my efforts, but to be honest, I am too. I have already read six books about the Jedi. Each class is enriching. I leave wanting to get better, to understand more about the Force and control it better.

The last two days have been more focused towards a more physical approach, which resulted in me noticing that I really need to get in shape. However, Master Yoda has told me that the physical state of a body does not make a better Jedi, but the use and comprehension of the Force do. He has mentioned also the possibility to improve my physical condition, but the ability to understand and connect with the Force is a unique gift, which according to him I had been gifted with.

I do feel stronger now. I feel more in control, and it's only been six days. I feel happier, but I also have to repress that feeling, or at least, handle it quietly and not let it step in the way of my purpose. I feel complete, for once.

Padmé has been during these days a wonderful host. She has been comprehensive, nice and close to me, in a way. I know for a fact she and I get along well, something I would have never expected. The third night I spent here, we had a long and deep conversation about our thoughts and feelings. Somehow, I told her about my mother. It just felt right with her. She had shared intimate and personal things with me, like thoughts and feelings about family and her job. It felt natural talking to her, like a childhood girlfriend I could always count on.

Anakin is constantly checking on me, but not in an invasive way. He is, honestly, the sweetest guy I ever met. He doesn't show it much, he seems distant most of the times, cold and almost insensitive. But that's only when he's got his walls. I have reached the conclusion that he must have been a Jedi for a long time now, that he is a person trained to completely evade from his emotions and control himself. I see the cracks, but I feel nobody else does. He is the only one who I can hear, and who can hear me back.

But now, it is my seventh day, the last one. I have to choose. And my mother is always at the back of my head. I do feel complete. But that makes me feel bad. I should care more, want to stay with her, but now I feel like I could never go back where I was. I just couldn't. It does not only feel wrong, I now know what I would be missing out. I close my eyes with strength, as I am sitting by the window of the training room. I switch my sitting position into a meditation one, where my legs are entangled, leaving my hands over my thighs.

My choice should be made while I'm meditating, it's when I can actually concentrate on what I am feeling and I think my decision will be definite if I take make my choice while I can see things more clearly, and from the outside, like an spectator to my own life.

I see a young girl, who recently turned sixteen years old. She is troubled, confused and doesn't know which way to go. She is divided: she has to choose between staying with her mother or staying with the Jedi. She understands sacrifices. Sacrifices like her mother's. She understands that life is not a free choice journey, where all the paths are available. She understands that once you take one path, you can never go back, and you lose things on the way. Her mother.

The presence of the figure is not a feature that describes her life. She has always been alone, in the orphanage, and even when her mother appeared, she had to handle life on her own. The reason to stay with her mother, is not the necessity of being with her. As crude as it may sound, she knows she doesn't need her mother in her life. She has never been there. But the choice is based on taking the opportunity to be with her, even after all the time lost, choosing to be by her side. Choosing her as a mother. Choosing to love her as such.

However, for the last four years, their relationship has evolved slowly and only a little. Not much progress had been made, from the point that they started from. The young girl was invested in knowing her mother, spending time with her. But her mother didn't need her either. Both learned to not need anyone, which is the reason that pushed each other apart. Having no time for her daughter, she tried to see her as much as she could, but it wasn't enough to recover from the years that had been lost.

Now, the Jedi option does offer her other perspective. She has always had that crave for adventure, for action. Serving drinks and singing in a nightclub is not enough for her, it will never be. She wants to learn, to travel, to fight and put herself in the edge. But on top of that, is the crave to be the owner of her decisions and to have her life under her own control. She wants to improve, to understand her abilities and to be better than she is, to model her life into a better one.

The Jedi are giving her an opportunity to shape her life, to live and experience those things she wants to. An opportunity to grow and learn who she is, during adolescence. She wants to become a Jedi. Prove herself she can do it, prove the rest of the people, have a better life, and even be like her father, that man that although she barely knows anything about, she feels connected to. However, wanting is not enough. But she needs to become a Jedi. Her path is headed in that direction.

I open my eyes as I hear a step coming from the middle of the room. I turn my head and I see Yoda, standing in the middle of the training room, with a funny look in his eyes. I send him a nice smile as I stand up and give him a gentle bow.

"Sorry, Master Yoda, I was meditating." I inform, as I look at him. He doesn't respond or add anything. I slightly narrow my eyes at him. "Did you waited for long?"

"Wait, I did not. The last class, that was."

"What?"

"Able you were, to see your life from the outside. Detachment of our emotions, most important thing to be a Jedi is." He starts to say, before he starts walking slowly towards me. I look at him with confusion and curiosity. He is such a wise creature, one I would listen to forever. I feel like I could listen to him for a century, and I would never stop learning. Not a single day would go without learning something new, without taking something to reflect on and meditate. "And on your own, you did. Need me, you did not." I take a deep breath, not knowing what that means in that moment. "Ready you are. Open for you are the doors of the Jedi." I let out the air I was holding inside of me, feeling a wave of relief through my body. "But a choice, you already made." He states, knowing that during my meditation I was able to already choose what I need.

"Yes." I confirm, looking at my hands. I know what I have to do, and I know what is it that I want. I see things clear now. I just have to verbalize them. "This is my path, Master Yoda. I can't turn away from it, even if other emotions are compromised by staying here." Master Yoda stares at me, and I find myself unable to read him for some seconds. During those seconds, a place in my chest nervously burns, waiting for his response.

"Welcome you are, to the Jedi Temple." Then, all I can feel is a fresh, tingling emotion overflowing in my chest.

✰

As I walk through the halls of the Jedi Temple, I try to contain my smile. It worked out, and Master Yoda was proud. And now, he will train me until I am fit to become a Padawan, something which I cannot wait to be. That's my next goal, and I have proved myself that my work does take me somewhere. In here, I have a purpose, and my actions seem to actually lead me somewhere.

"Elara." I hear someone calling my name. As I turn my head to look at the person who is calling me, the smile slips through my lips.

"Anakin." I tell him as I see his smile too. He walks closer to my position, and he frowns curiously. I can almost hear him ask by the energy he is irradiating. "It went really good."

"Good, but it is really soon." He comments, confused. He is not wrong. I should still be in class with Yoda, if it were a normal class.

"Um... Yeah, I just..." I start to speak and I notice that I am nervous, excited and I need to calm down. I take a quick and deep breath. "I started meditating on my own, to choose what I was going to do. And Yoda had been there for most of it. He told me that I was ready."

"That's great, Elara." He responds, with his charming smile. I smile back at him, unable to contain the excitement and my happiness. "What did you choose?" He asks and I tilt my head slightly surprised.

"Isn't it obvious?" He seems like he is going to answer, but hesitation makes him stop, and he shrugs.

"I don't want to assume." Anakin claims, nodding slowly as he waits for me to tell him my choice. I look at him frowning slightly, as I thought it was clear. However, I do remember my insistence at the beginning to not join the Jedi, and he must have that in his mind. It surprises me how my opinion changed, although if I really think about it, it was meant to happen.

"I chose this." I say, nodding. His face lights up, and even though we both know that he was about to give me a hug, he stops. He just looks at the ground and nods too, before his eyes meet mine again.

"I'm glad. You're going to love this." He tells me with honesty.

"I hope."

"You will." He assures. There's is a small silence, which is neither comfortable or uncomfortable, before Anakin goes on to ask me one more question. "Do you have to go to Padmé's apartment to take your things?"

"Yeah, actually, I have to visit the Jedi Council this afternoon. Yoda said something about a tour and my room." I tell him, more serious this time.

"Then you have a lot of time."

"Yeah... I'm probably spending that time in actually leaving my job and saying goodbye to some friends." I say, looking at the ground with a slight frown. He starts walking in the direction I was going.

"Okay, I can take you wherever you tell me."

"Don't you have things to do?" I ask raising an eyebrow to him as I start walking beside him. He shrugs and shakes his head.

"Not really, whatever I have to do can wait until tomorrow." He tells me, and I sigh before letting out a soft laugh.

"If you say so..."

He takes me to the Outlanders Club, our first stop, so I can finally leave my job correctly. They must be wondering where am I, or if I am even alive. However, I doubt it is an example of how they may care about me, they rather care about how they have one worker less, and the income is affected by that. Stepping again in the club feels strange, since during the past week I haven't even thought about money or surviving one day more. As I enter, Iago sees me and he leaves the counter quickly, just to wrap his arms around me.

"Elara..." He says, as I feel his arms surrounding me. I blink at the feeling of having him around me. It's surprising. Iago has been the closest person here to me, but I would have never thought that he would care as much as he does. "Bitch, I thought you had died or something." He says as he pulls away, keeping his hands on both my forearms, and hinting worry in his eyes,

"I'm okay." I assure him shaking my head. I look down and press my lips, taking a deep breath. "But I am here to leave."

"What?" He asks, as his eyes completely change, showing an emotion I have never seen in Iago's eyes. He shakes his head, trying to draw a small smile on his lips. "No, you can't leave me alone working here. You're the only good thing in this shitty place." Seeing him in this state, showing certain emotions when he had always been cheerful, the life of the place and one of the reasons why I came to work everyday, tears a piece of my heart away. I had never thought someone who wasn't Vasma or my mother would truly care about me. I am not used to having people care about me.

"I am sorry, Iago." I tell him, but I feel more sorry for not realizing he could care. I feel sorry for assuming I was just a co-worker for him. "I have been offered another alternative of life. You would do the same, and I'd be glad for you." He looks at me and nods, drawing a smile on his face.

"I'm going to miss you, girl." He confesses, and I take a deep breath, knowing that with the Jedi, I will have to forget. I won't be able to miss anything.

"Elara?" I hear a voice calling me. I turn to the source of the voice and I find my boss, looking at me with confusion and annoyance. "For fuck's sake, where had you been?"

"Sorry, I'm going." I inform him, trying to be serious and professional. However, before leaving Iago, I glance at him with a smile on my face. I take his hand softly, thanking him for everything. "Don't let them shut down the light that you have." I let go of his hand and walk towards my boss, who is waiting for me. As I look back, Iago is smiling back at me too, with a certain sadness I can sense in his eyes.

After I have officially left my job in a very long conversation with my boss, where it wasn't clear if I had left the job or I was fired; Anakin, without questioning my actions or saying anything, takes me to the second stop I want to make: Vasma's place. Honestly, it is surprising me how much he seems to respect me. He doesn't ask questions, he is not intrusive, he respects my choices. However, I still don't know if that's good or bad.

Anakin stops the speeder in the bottom part of the building, next to the entrance of the ground floor. As I have gotten used to Padmé's luxurious apartments, now what I had considered a luxury Vasma had, has become a simple apartment block. I look up at the grey and basic building, which has advertisement placed on the walls. Surrounding the block, many more similar and taller apartment buildings stand. I sense Anakin is also staring at the building.

"This is my friend Vasma's place." I inform, before a deep sigh escapes my mouth.

"Are you ready?" He asks, and I turn to face him. I look at my hands and shrug. Vasma has always been there for me, and always because she wanted to be. It is hard to let her go.

"I don't know. I have never said goodbye to anyone before..." I admit in a murmur, turning to look at him. "I'll just have to be brave and do it." I get out of the speeder, and I walk towards the entrance slowly.

"I'll wait here." I hear him say, as he walks in front of the speeder, leaning against it.

"Oh, no. You should come up." I insist, not willing to let him stay outside in the streets on Coruscant. "I don't know how long is it going to take me, and I don't want you to wait here alone."

"It's fine, enjoy with your friend."

"Anakin, come on, don't be stubborn." I tell him with a small smile. "I want you to come up." He looks at me with a slight frown, and I can sense he is thinking about it. He is hesitating. I give him a simple nod and, with no further statement, he just walks towards me. I turn to the entrance of the building and I smile, knowing I managed to convinced him. During the time we have been together, he has proved to be quite stubborn, which is why it seemed like a victory.

As I press the button of the elevator, I glance at him, and he is looking at the ground. I frown as I look away, worried that maybe he just didn't want to know anything about me. Maybe he knows it will be uncomfortable for him. Or maybe he just doesn't want to be invasive. I take a breath as the elevator doors open, and we both walk in. Silence invades every corner of the elevator, which only makes my nerves more aware of everything around me, and about my feelings. How am I going to say goodbye to Vasma? And what about my mother? Am I going to be able to say goodbye to her? Will I have to tell Vasma to say goodbye on my behalf? I feel his eyes on me, but my eyes don't change its direction. They stay fixed on the elevator door.

As the elevator door opens, I feel a wave of warmth, and the uneasiness my body and mind were going through, fades. However, I know this feeling doesn't come from me. I now look at Anakin, and he gives me a slight nod. He is, somehow, projecting peace towards me. I walk out of the elevator, frowning at the ground. It is strange to feel what he wants me to feel. I could stop it, I know I could, but I am grateful for him doing it. As I stand in front of Vasma's apartment front door, I feel his presence behind me, which intensifies the calmness of my mind when I knock on the door.  
The tall figure of Vasma opens the door, and she lets out an excited sound as she notices it's me the one behind the door. She wraps her arms around me, and I smile softly, as my arms surround her too.

"Oh, mother of moons!" She exclaims as she starts to let me go, still holding my hand to check my clothes. "You're alive, you're looking great and with new clothes. What have you been doing?" She asks, pulling me inside of the apartment. I glance at Anakin, who slowly walks into the apartment and closes the door behind him. "I was really worried."

"Well, you don't have to worry." I respond looking back at her with a small smile. "Told you I'd be fine."

"I don't trust anyone out there." She replies, passing one hand through my cheek. Then, she notices Anakin's presence, and she frowns with confusion. As I expand my senses, I feel her worry, confusion and frustration. "Elara, who is this?" I look at Anakin, and I smile, trying to make it quick and comfortable. Vasma is clearly worried, and once I tell her about the reality of the situation, she is going to go crazy. She knows my situation. I have told her everything about me.

"I'm Anakin Skywalker. I am a Padawan in the Jedi Temple." He introduces himself, allowing me to take care of the rest. Vasma looks at me with a frown and a hint of anger and frustration. I know those feelings come from the fact that she is lost in this situation. She hates being lost and not understanding things.

"And why are you here?" She asks, without taking her eyes off me.

"Because I'm joining the Jedi." I tell her honestly and directly. She deserves to know, and I should make this quick and easy.

"What?"

"And I have to say goodbye."

"Wait, wait, wait." She laughs softly and in a forced way, trying to contain other feelings. "What?" She narrows her eyes at me. "You were gone for a week. How the fuck did that happen?"

"Something happened last week. I was offered the chance of attending a trial, and I passed." I explain, trying to stay calm. Anakin is really helpful with that. "When I brought you your speeder, I was preparing to leave."

"What the fuck, Elara." She murmurs, looking away from me and looking around her living room, which is the first room you can see when you enter her apartment. It is not a big or as luxurious as Padmé's, but it has enough. A table and chairs to eat, a couple of couches, a coffee table, a holo-home device and some weird and cheap paintings. "I don't have words for this." She confesses, raising her hands in the air. I thought you couldn't surprise me anymore." I sigh and she looks at me again. "Turns out I was wrong."

"I'm sorry." I tell her, as she walks further into her living room. I slowly follow her, and Anakin gets closer too, looking around the apartment. "I just, I hope you can understand that this is an incredible opportunity for me. To move on, to become better, to live better."

"I understand that." She tells me, with a frown drawn in her eyebrows. "But I don't understand why didn't you tell me when you left here your speeder."

"I wasn't ready- I didn't even know if it was what I wanted." I admit, looking at her with a frown. However, mine is different. Mine is filled with guilt and apologies. She stares at me, and her face slight softens into a colder expression.

"And now I'm just supposed to accept that you're disappearing." I open my mouth and shake my head.

"I'm not disappearing, you know where I'll be."

"From my life, I mean." She comments, walking towards on her couches. She doesn't sit, though. She stops and turns to look at me one more time. "Does yo-" She corrects herself, unable to forget that Anakin is here. She knows me well enough to know that my mother is my biggest secret, one I don't give away after a week. "Does Dasha know?"

"No, I couldn't reach her." I say looking at my hands. "I was hoping you'd let me use your fixed-line communicator." As my eyes shift back to her, I encounter her surprised expression.

"You're not going to see her?"

"I can't." I state, with confidence. I can't, in terms of time. But emotionally, I can't do it either.

"Wow." She whispers, laughing at the situation as she looks out of the window of her apartment, putting both of her hands on the sides of her waist.

"Can I use the communicator?" I ask, after a few seconds have passed. She looks at me again, takes a deep breath, and nods slowly.

"Yeah..." She starts to say, walking towards the kitchen, probably to take a drink for herself. "You know where it is." She turns to look at Anakin before walking inside of the kitchen. "Anakin, you can sit down, feel comfortable around here."

"Thank you." He says walking slowly towards the couch that is placed in my right side.

"Would you like anything to drink?"

"Water would be nice, thank you."

"Alright." Vasma lets out before disappearing into the kitchen. Anakin keeps inspecting the apartment as he gets closer to the couch. I look at him, and I don't want to leave him alone, but I need to talk with my mother.

"I'm going to go-"

"Go, I'll be fine." He tells me as he sits down in one of Vasma's red couches, with a soft smile on his face. I realize he is still projecting that peaceful feeling onto me, and I nod.

As I walk out of the living room, I approach the place in the hall where Vasma keeps her home communicator. I look at it, unable to feel nervous due to Anakin's projecting. I take it and I enter the code to contact my mother. As I bring it closer to me, I wait in silence for a response. The white noise coming from the device is able to startle me a little, through Anakin's peace.

"Hello?" As I hear her voice, my breath stops for a moment.

"Hi, mother."

"Elara..." She breathes, relief and surprise showing in her voice. "How are you? Are you alright?" She asks, obviously interested in what has happened with my life recently.

"Yes, yes... Everything is alright." I reply. My teeth press my bottom lip, as I look at the ground. "I have been trying to contact you for a week, and I couldn't."

"Sorry, love, I have been working and I am really exhausted these days." She responds, explaining herself. I am not surprised, I know that. I know she doesn't see me or speak to me because she can't, not because she doesn't want to. "Has something happened?"

"Well, yeah." I answer, putting a hand over my forehead as a soft scoff leaves my mouth. "Um... I..." I take a second, to verbalize what I want to tell her, and get ready for whatever her response to the information may be. "They found me."

"Who found you?" She asks, with slight worry.

"The Jedi" As I answered her question, the communicator became an empty device. A cold and deep silence filled my ears, and it was deeply stinging a place in my chest. I close my eyes, trying to reunite the strength to tell her everything. "I went through a trial and..." I sigh, pausing to keep myself calm. I can feel my nerves are starting to overwhelm Anakin. "I am joining them, mother." She doesn't speak, the silence is still there. "I am sorry." I speak, trying to interrupt the silence and attempting to reduce a possible negative reaction.

"How was the trial?" She asks after a full minute of deafening silence. I frown, with confusion.

"What?"

"Did you like it?" She adds. I can sense she is calm, she is not angry, but she is not pleased either. It is a very neutral tone she is using. I take some seconds to answer, swallowing hard and making sure my voice won't fail me.

"I loved it." I confess, as a small, pained smile appears in my face. Loving it makes me feel guilty with her. It pains me to love it more than I love the life that allows me to be with her. "I felt complete, filled with purpose and I have been really happy this week."

"So, you're joining because you want to." She states, searching for my confirmation.

"But they found-"

"Elara" She interrupts me, and I close my mouth, taking a deep breath. "Do you want to do it? Do you want to be a Jedi?" She asks me, and now I can see in her voice she is just interested in knowing what I feel about this.

"I do." I respond. "It makes me happy"

"Then I'm happy." She immediately says, and I can feel her soft and small smile by the tone of her voice. My mind is instantly confused, as her reaction doesn't match her thoughts on the Jedi. After all her advice to stay away, all the things she had told me that were negative, she is just happy for me.  
"But you told me that you didn't like the Jedi..."

"I may have thoughts and feelings that are against them but... If that is what makes you happy I only can support you. You'll grow into a strong and happy person with them. They'll be better for you than I am" She explains, and I sense her honesty in every word.

"Mom, don't say that."

"It's true. I can't give you anything, not even my time. I can only give you my love and support, and that's why I encourage you to go and do what makes you feel... complete, like you said." I listen to her, and her words turn my lips into a small smile. "I prefer to see you are a galaxy away from me and happy, than to have you by my side and watch you suffer." However, her words also make my eyes glassy. "And you don't need me, love." I close my eyes, and I feel a drop of salty water falling down my cheek. "You don't." I know it. She knows it. But it hurts to admit you don't need someone everyone is supposed to need.

"I'll still miss you."

"Just like I will." She instantly responds, trying to make sure her voice doesn't crack. However, I know her voice and I know her. As soon as this conversation ends, she will be devastated, letting out all those feelings she is repressing for me. I softly and quietly sniff, cleaning more tears from my face.

"I love you, mother." I murmur, still with my eyes closed. I try to picture her face, an attempt to pretend I actually said goodbye in person.

"And I love you too, my love." She says softly. I hear her taking a deep breath before she starts speaking again, tattooing her words into my heart. "Be strong, be brave and believe in yourself. Always."

"Always." I whisper. "Goodbye, mom."

"Goodbye, Elara."

As I leave the communicator in its place, I take a deep breath. I lean against the wall, bringing my hands to cover my face. I have mixed feelings after the call. It is sad to say goodbye. Not knowing if you'll ever see that person again, not knowing how they'll do in their lives. It is an intense feeling. But feeling my mother's support and her genuine happiness that is born from my own, fills me with joy. I feel satisfied, euphoric and broken-hearted. I exhale deeply, and I try to recompose myself before walking into the living room again.

When I do, I draw a small smile on my lips as I capture the scene in front of me. I find Anakin and Vasma talking nicely, which makes me feel a warm wave over my body again. Anakin sees me and he stands up, leaving the glass of water on the small coffee table. Vasma, after seeing him stand up, turns to look at me and smiles too.

"What were you two talking about?" I ask, frowning funnily. Vasma smiles widely and raises her eyebrows.

"I was warning him about you."

"Oh, that's nice." I comment sarcastically, raising my eyebrows too.

"She was telling me how you two met."

"Pure luck." I say as I get closer to the area of the living room where the couches are located. As I recall the time I entered the dinner, out of the places I could have walked in, I smile to myself. She approached me, asking for recommendations. Turns out, she didn't need them, she was a usual at the dinner, but she saw me, so lost and young that she just had to speak to me. She wanted to make me feel safe and protected. However, I found out about the true intentions of Vasma five months after meeting her. Then, I realize meeting Anakin was pure luck too. And the luck this time, saved my life. "Luck is funny."

"It is." He responds, and I wonder if he is also thinking the same.

"Well, I have to get ready for work." Vasma informs, interrupting the moment. She stands up from the couch. "Night shifts are the worst." I know Anakin is about to ask about her work, but I send him a look.

 _Don't_. I think, loudly and sending the thought in his direction. It seems to work, because he frowns slightly and nods, looking at the ground for a moment, before standing up.

"Vasma, it was nice to meet you." Anakin says with a formal smile on his lips. Vasma gives him a slight nod and smiles back.

"Take care of her, alright?" She says, extending her hand towards him. I frown as Anakin gets closer to take her hand.

"I can take care of myself, thank you." I murmur rolling my eyes.

"Then, just keep an eye on her." They both shake hands and Anakin smiles, giving her a slight nod.

"I will." Anakin says as he steps back, walking slowly towards the front door of the apartment. I walk towards the door slowly, stopping before Anakin.

"Well..." Vasma sighs, as I turn to face her with a soft smile. She sadly smiles back at me. "We'll see each other again." I step forward to wrap my arms around her, as my abdomen aches and my eyes dryly burn. I feel her arms surrounding me tightly, keeping me from cracking in this moment.

"Thank you for everything, Vasma." I whisper, before she pulls away, keeping her hands on my forearms as she looks at me with a smile.

"No need to do that." She shakes her head, and I feel her hands leaving my forearms. I take a deep breath and nod, as she gets to the door and opens the door. She says goodbye to Anakin one more time, as he leaves the apartment. I walk slowly out of the apartment, and look back at Vasma when I'm standing in the hall. "I'll see you around." She says, too afraid of actually saying goodbye. I half smile and nod.

"Sure." I respond, trying to control the urges to let the water in my eyes to fall. My throat aches, and when she closes the door, it doesn't feel better. I look at the door, feeling a drop of water falling down my cheek. Maybe I'm making a mistake. This hurts too much.

A soft touch interrupts my thoughts. Anakin's hand touches mine, as he looks at me with genuine worry. Seeing him now, reminds me of what I'm leaving them for.

 _Come on, Elara_. I hear his voice inside of my head, and I can feel the muscles of my face soften slowly. _Let's go._ His voice is understanding and peaceful. I nod and we walk together towards the elevator. When he lets go of my hand, I don't feel ready to let it go. I want him to comfort me. It feels good to feel how he cares. But I remember. That's not what the Jedi do. They don't care, not like that. I take a deep breath and we walk inside of the elevator, trying to work on my inner emotional turmoil.

The minute we get in the speeder and I feel better. I can breathe better, and my mind is clear. We go to Padmé's apartment to take the few things I own, but Padmé is not there yet. I may not be able to say goodbye now, but it is going to be easier to see her. When we are on our way to the Jedi Temple, I decide to enjoy the ride, taking my time to go back into the state of mind I need to be back in the temple. Anakin is understanding, he gives me space and time. Even as we had something to eat in Padmé's apartment, he respected me and my mind. I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of the cold air and the warmth of the setting sun.

When I open my eyes again, I glance at Anakin as he drives the speeder. Feeling much better about the goodbye, I remember that I didn't explain to him why I told him not to ask about Vasma's job. I slightly narrow my eyes as I look to the front.

"She's a prostitute." I hear myself say, not fully aware of what I'm saying. After not speaking since leaving her apartment, it feels weird to feel the sound of my voice leave my throat.

"What?" Anakin asks, glancing at me with confusion.

"Vasma. She works as a prostitute." I inform, this time more aware of what I am saying. "It makes her uncomfortable how people look at her when they find out." I add, trying to explain the situation. "I guessed we wanted to avoid that situation."

"Sure." Anakin comments, with a neutral tone. He doesn't seem to care about Vasma's job. He is not judging. That's good. "Well thought."

"Also, about Vasma and Dasha and ever-"

"Elara. It's your life. And now it's your old life." He points out with a half smile, making me look at the buildings of Coruscant and the rest of speeders. "I'm not going to question anything." I smile softly and nod, feeling grateful for his respect. "And I'm not going to discuss it with anyone."

"Thank you." I tell him, glancing at him for a moment. I am really glad to have someone that respects me and that I feel a connection to. Literally, it feels like we are connected, like I can trust him.

When we get to the Temple, there's a couple of the Temple caretakers waiting for me to show me the Jedi Temple dormitory and my own room. Although I am not a Padawan, they put me in one of the rooms for the Padawans, since I am too old to sleep in one of the nurseries for the Younglings clans.

My room is in a hall filled with other doors of other Padawans' rooms, and Anakin's seems to be really close to mine, from what he tells me. When the couple of caretakers show me my room, I walk inside slowly. The room and the furniture are white, trying to be as neutral as possible. I have a single but comfortable bed, a closet and a desk, all of which seem to match in style. Over the bed, there is a window that offers the view from the Jedi Temple.

After the caretakers finish explaining everything, from where to find the refreshers to how rooms are prepared for all the different species that may live in the Temple, they welcome me into the order and leave me with Anakin, who is now standing by the door, looking around.

"It's not much, but it will feel like home, in time." Anakin comments, looking around the room, which does look empty, impersonal and cold. I shake my head with a smile.

"It's more than enough, honestly." I admit, as I sit on the bed. It is soft and adaptable to the body that's on it. "Wow, this bed is really comfortable." I let out genuinely excited.

"You'll need it once you train for an entire day." Anakin tells me with a wide smile, which is beautiful, by the way. He doesn't smile much, but when he does, it is great. "I'll leave you so you can accommodate yourself." I nod and stand up, leaving my bag on the bed, as I walk towards the door.

"Thank you, Anakin." I tell him, with a small smile on my lips. "For everything." He stares at me for a moment, before nodding with another smile.

"You're welcome." I watch him walk away from my room, before I close the door of my room. I take a breath and smile widely, taking in the fact that this will be my new life. No more worries about lunch, about been able to find a place to sleep, about maintaining my job. No more of that.

I see there's a holopad on the desk, which probably has my schedule. But for now, I just let myself fall on the comfortable bed, taking my time to enjoy the start of my new life.


	6. Initiate

[ _elara_ ]

 **My** feet smoothly hit the ground as my legs switch quickly. The halls of the Padawan's Quarters of the Jedi Temple make my steps sound louder, echoing my heavy breaths. My laugh is loud, resonating in the walls as I hear someone shouting behind me, chasing me rapidly.

"Elara! Stop!" Anakin shouts, also laughing as he tries to catch me. I shake my head, not willing to let him catch me, and run even faster. I put all my efforts into trying to get him lost behind me. I turn through the halls, switching between right and left randomly. However, I hear the steps behind me.

"You're never catching me" I exclaim, as I dodge a group of Younglings I find on my way. They stop and stare at me and I wave at them smiling, but quickly. They smile back and I keep running.

I spot a room with the door open and I stop in front of it, I hear Anakin's steps approaching and the room is empty. I walk inside, closing the door rapidly behind me. I stand still, waiting for him to pass by but he doesn't pass. I walk further into the room, closing my eyes and concentrating on my breath. I try to feel his force signature around me. Someone grabs me by my waist and I jump, shocked at the sudden appearance. However, I don't have time to react, as the hands on my waist start tickling me. I scream and laugh loudly, as my legs start to weaken and my abdomen starts to feel sore.

"Stop it! Anakin!" I exclaim, almost crying from the amount of laughter and the increasing pain in my abdomen muscles. "I swear I'm literally going to die!" He lets me go laughing, and I point at him narrowing my eyes, trying to recover my breath. "Good one, Skywalker, good one," I say, before putting my hands on my hips and looking at the ceiling, letting out a tired groan. He lets out a couple of soft laughs, as he recovers his breath too.

"Next time you enter my room," He starts saying, raising his hand and pointing a finger at me with a fake angry expression in his face.

"What? You're gonna tickle me to death?" I ask with exaggerated defiance. He quickly does to movement to tickle me again but I step back. He smirks at me and I raise my eyebrows, handing him his lightsaber. That had been the reason all along to run after me through the whole Padawan and Youngling quarters. Obi-Wan gets really serious with the lightsaber, and if he loses it again, he'll be in serious trouble.

"I'm supposed to be meeting Obi-Wan in ten minutes." He informs, walking out of the unoccupied room. I look around and find a holopad with the time. I walk after him and nod slowly.

"Oh." I let out. "Well, I'm still waiting for the Council's verdict, so I have nothing to do."

"Do you want to join me?" He asks, turning to look at me. I shrug with a small smile and walk by his side.

"Sure," I tell him. "I have to admit I am nervous about the Council's decision." He glances at me as we walk through the Jedi Temple dormitories. "What if they don't think I am ready to become a Padawan?"

"Yoda would have never allowed you to go through the Initiate Trials if you hadn't been ready for it." He reasons, in an attempt to make me feel more confident about my results. I did tell him I felt good with what I did, but the Jedi Council may not think the same. "And you're the most hardworking youngling I have ever met." I half-smile, flattered by his comment.

"Well, I am also not a youngling. I digest information much quicker." I respond, reasoning why I am progressing much faster.

"I think that's also a natural talent." He adds, with an honest look in his eyes, accompanied by a nice smile.

"It may be." I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Whatever it is, let's hope it served me well and they assign me a Master soon." I am excited to meet my new Master if the Council does decide that I'm ready to be a Padawan. "I'm going to miss my training and sessions with Master Yoda, though."

Master Yoda, I would say, is the best creature I have ever known. He is wise, and an amazing teacher, but he also has an enormous heart for such a tiny body and great sense of humor. I am genuinely going to miss him, because he taught me how to be myself, and guided me through my inner turmoils. Always believing in me, never giving up. I can even dare to say, he almost felt proud. He has been, in a way, like a father figure, but smaller in height.

"He is a good Jedi Master." Anakin admits, glancing at me quickly. "He's been teaching for more than 700 years. If that doesn't give you experience, I don't know what will."

"He is the best." I murmur with a half smile. "Kriff, now I'm sad."

"Master Yoda wouldn't want you to be." He reminds me, with a funny smirk drawn in his face.

"I hate to admit it... But you're right" He softly laughs and I narrow my eyes, as I keep thinking about the Initiate Trials. "Can you imagine, though, that they send me to the Council of Reassignment?" He stops walking and rolls his eyes, getting annoyed at my insistence.

"Elara, you're not." He tells me, tilting his head slightly. "Listen, you are the most brilliant Jedi student here. After me." He speaks, with a smug look in his face. He starts walking again and I roll my eyes.

"Oh, so humble of you to say that," I comment with a soft scoff.

"Two months. That's how long it took you to be able to build your lightsaber." He recalls, frowning at me. I remember that moment, and I remember how I prepared for it. I went to the library every day, trying to look more and more information about Kyber Crystals.

I discovered that my crystal needed to call to me, and I meditated for hours, days, waiting to hear the call. Master Yoda told me I was trying too hard, and that the crystal would call when my senses are open to hearing it. And I relaxed, and I heard it. I heard that chant, that voice that seemed to be calling to me. When I spoke about it with Master Yoda, he suggested listening to it, see where it lead me.

That was the first time I left the planet, accompanied by Master Mundi, a cerean Jedi Master who was, most of the time going on missions. He was glad to accompany me, and he was a very polite individual, wise, logical and, from what I was able to see by talking to him, a great strategist.

Then, my destiny showed led me to Ryloth. The first time I was on a planet different from Coruscant. This one was completely different. Although it had cities, it was mostly deserted of urban and industrial presence. There were jungles and other geographical structures. The call of the crystal there was stronger, and I could feel it close, so I let it guide me. It was leading me towards a mountain. The voice felt like a shout in my head, but I kept following it.

Once I found it, inside of a cave in the mountain, the voice wouldn't allow me to hear anything else. As soon as I touched it, the voice stopped. All I could hear was the wind hitting the mountains around me, as the crystal started to shine in a bright, golden color. Golden as Coruscant's setting sun. Golden as Anakin's hair when the sun reflected on it. Golden as some of the pillars in the Temple in the last hours of the day.

When I was back in Coruscant, I could see in Master Yoda's eyes he was impressed. During my time at the Temple, I had seen few golden lightsabers. I read about how crystals are colorless until they were chosen by the one the crystal was calling to. The color appeared once the connection between the crystal and the owner was forged, showing the real nature of the owner. Constructing my lightsaber after was an easy task, after sleepless nights in the library, reading all about lightsaber constructing and following my own instincts.

I was more than pleased with my results. The handle was simple and elegant, with a few golden materials of different shades of the color. It turned out to be just like I have wanted it to be, and once I activated it for the first time, I was surprised at the soft sound. I compared it, at that time, to Anakin's.

Anakin's made much more noise than mine, and it wasn't as smooth as mine. Mine left a trail after moving it, which had resulted in an effective distracting method for anyone who fought against me. A month later I found out that the crystal was a Ghostfire Crystal, therefore it was more silent and smoother. However, I still have to find out about the color of the lightsaber and its meaning.

"But you know my intention was one month."

"And I told you that was difficult, almost impossible."

"I like difficult," I reply, with a smirk in my face. He looks down at me and nods slowly, scoffing.

"I noticed." He murmurs.

"Anakin, Elara" A voice greets us. We turn to look at it, finding Obi-Wan walking towards us. "I heard you two were causing some trouble in the halls of the dormitory" I grimace and shake my head.

"Master Kenobi" I reply "We would never do such a thing," I tell him sarcastically. Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and shakes his head, putting a hand over his eyes. Anakin and I look at each other smiling and containing our laugh.

"You are Jedi, remember that." He tells us, with a serious look in his eyes as he raises his eyebrows. "And the dormitory is where people sleep, you should keep it quiet there."

"I'm sorry, Master," Anakin says, glancing at me. "It won't happen again."

"I hope," Obi-Wan replies, staring at Anakin. Then he looks at me. "Happy Birthday, Elara, I forgot about it." I look at him and smile gladly.

My sixteenth birthday was three days ago, and they let me leave the Jedi Temple to meet with Padmé. She and I spent all the time talking about politics and reflections on ideology, like we usually do when I am permitted to leave the Temple. Padmé says it makes her political actions have much more sense if she actually keeps in touch with her moral beliefs and values. I just say it makes me more cultured to speak and learn about politics. We had a great dinner made by one of her house caretakers, and then, the next day, she left for Naboo.

"Oh, thank you, Obi-Wan," I respond. Anakin, on the other hand, scoffs and looks at me amused. He couldn't celebrate my birthday with me because he was on a mission with Obi-Wan, but he sent me a holo. He would never forget.

"Seventeen years and a youngling." He jokes, and I roll my eyes at him.

"Not for long," Obi-Wan speaks, raising his eyebrows and sending a smile in my direction. "I am afraid the Council wants to see you." His words make me freeze, and I just stare at him, in shock.

"What?" I hear my voice asking.

I don't think I'm ready to hear the response. I have mixed feelings about it, of course. The excitement for receiving a 'yes' from the Jedi Council is undeniable, but the ache in my heart, if I am not accepted as a Padawan, is also an existing possibility. Master Windu, to begin with, has never supported my presence in the Jedi Order. The only person in the Council who believes in me, sometimes more than myself, is Master Yoda.

"You should go," Obi-Wan recommends, taking me away from my thoughts. I nod slowly.

"O-Okay." I weirdly stutter as I start to walk away from them, giving them a gentle wave. I check Anakin's gaze as I start to leave, and his eyes are worried, but also encouraging. He believes in me too. I should believe in myself as Yoda does; like Anakin does.

I rush towards the Council room, walking at a fast pace. Once I'm in front of the door, I breathe deeply, ready to receive the verdict that will determine my future inside of the Jedi Order. The hardest thing to pass is the Initiate Trials because they are the first step to determine if you are a true Jedi or not. I close my eyes as I open the door. After I do, I walk into the room with my hands behind my back, greeting the Masters with a smile, whose eyes are all on me. I perform a gentle bow in front of the Council where all the respectable and admirable Jedi Masters are. I stand in the middle of the room.

"Masters," I say, as a way of greeting the group of Jedi surrounding me. Master Yoda is seated in front of me, and he smiles at me. That sends a peaceful feeling through all my body, knowing that it will all be okay.

"Welcome, Elara" Master Windu greets me with a smile, which surprises me. He has never smiled at me. Not once.

"I was informed you wanted to see me" I claim, looking at every member.

"Right, you were told" Yoda speaks up, with a small smile. Encouraging, for sure. I have to believe in myself. "For your Initiate Trials, the verdict we have." I freeze, waiting for them to continue speaking about their decision. I try to focus on my breathing and maintaining my mind in a peaceful state, at least I try to maintain my nerves from reaching the Masters in the Council.

"After a consensus of all the Jedi Council, we have decided you are fit and prepared to become a Jedi Padawan." Master Windu informs. I grin, widening my eyes with excitement. "You will continue your training with a new Master" Windu keeps speaking as a small, but much older girl appears next to me with a nice smile and bows. "Elara, this is Jedi Knight Kelrian."

"Nice to meet you, Padawan Montrose" She greets nicely. I bow slowly in front of her and trying to control my feelings.

"Nice to meet you, Master Kelrian."

"We hope to see you work and progress as much as you have during the last year." Master Windu tells me, as I look to face him again. I smile slightly before another voice speaks too.

"A great Jedi, you can become." I hear Master Yoda tell me, with that hopeful look in his eyes. I will be forever grateful for his teaching, and I will never forget him. I bow before all the Masters, but especially Yoda. He has been the one to truly teach me what the Force is, how to understand it and how to control it.

"Thank you, Masters," I tell the group of Jedi Masters, sincerely and from the deepest place of my heart. "I won't disappoint you, I promise." Those are my last words, before leaving the room of the Council with my new master.

She is older than me, but maybe a little younger than Obi-Wan. Her hair is brunette, and her hairstyle lets half of it slightly fall on her shoulders, as it is not excessively long. She is a few centimeters shorter than me, and I have to slightly look down at her. I'm not really that tall, but she's really short. She looks adorable, with that smile she wears on her face. She transmits sweetness and peace, which I am grateful for. She is not necessarily slim, she's just proportioned and she's obviously strong. Jedi's training really keeps you in shape.

"Don't be nervous, I sense your tension from a mile away" I look at her as my cheeks burn slightly, feeling a bit of embarrassment. "I'm really glad to finally meet you. I've heard many things about you. You can call me Nyla" I smile shyly and nod at her, not knowing how to feel about the fact that people are talking about me.

"I'm sorry, Master..." I start saying, just before she raises one of her eyebrows at me. "Nyla." I correct myself with a soft smile. "I'm just relieved and excited for this new chapter," I confess, obtaining a smile from her as she nods.

"Of course, you should be." She starts to say as we walk away from the Jedi Council Room's door. "Being a Padawan is one of the most memorable times for a Jedi." She explains with a very sweet smile. "Also, where's your lightsaber?"

"I can't really carry it. Master Yoda didn't let me"

"Well, now you must have it with you, always," She says emphasizing the 'must'. It reminds me slightly to Obi-Wan's insistence with Anakin, and I smile to myself, nodding. After all, I am a Padawan now. Just like him. "I'll see you tomorrow morning in the sparring grounds, alright?" I give her another nod. "I want you to take this day for yourself."

"Thank you, Nyla," I reply, really appreciating her taking into consideration the idea of my free time. The only free time I have had this year, was my meeting with Padmé on my birthday.

"You deserve it, I have been informed about your achievements in such a short period of time." I bite my lip, as I am still not accustomed to people congratulating me or appreciating my efforts. No one ever has, my work has never led people to appreciate what I did, it only gave me money or food. Not in the Jedi Temple, though. "That can only be a result of hard work." She adds, with a nice smile. "Rest well, tomorrow will be a long day!" I shoot her a smile, as we start to leave in different directions.

✰

Anakin. I have to tell Anakin about the news and tell him about my new Master. I rush towards his room, with excitement and a big smile drawn in my face. Once I'm standing in front of it, I knock at the door and enter his room, knowing he won't come to open it for me. When I walk in, he is looking out of the window, towards the view of the buildings of Coruscant. He turns around with confusion to find me closing the door. I take a deep breath and he slightly frowns at me.

"Tell me," He says, waiting with excitement to hear my news and walking towards me. I smile at him before dropping the news.

"I was finally approved to be a Padawan" I exclaim grinning. He takes a second to react, taking the information and making sure it is not a joke. He smiles back at me and surrounds my upper body with his arms. I close my eyes, hugging him back and enjoying the hug. He makes me feel at ease, and he fills my heart with warmth.

"I'm so happy for you" He murmurs proudly, because I know I can sense pride in his voice.

"I will send a holo to Padme as soon as I step into my room," I say with excitement and pulling away. "My new Master gave me a free day."

"We could celebrate it," He tells me, narrowing his eyes slightly at me. He waits for my validation, and I look at him frowning, amused at his idea. We can't do much to celebrate. He smiles and rolls his eyes. "You're a Padawan now, you're not a Youngling anymore, as long as your Master lets you go..."

"I mean, she told me to take the day for myself so, I guess that counts?" I murmur as I grimace, not really convinced about the statement. He smiles and takes his lightsaber, putting it in his belt. "Wait, shouldn't you tell Obi-Wan?" I ask. I know Obi-Wan likes to know about Anakin's decisions, especially if he is leaving the Temple.

"He won't mind," He says with a funny smirk. I look at him, unsure about that, but he takes my hand to leave his room. I follow him through the halls, and for a minute, he doesn't let my hand go. Almost as excited as I am with the news, we completely forget where we are, who we are. When he lets go of my hand, we are in one of the biggest halls of the Temple, and he must realize that people could see this in the wrong way. He gives me a look, almost apologizing for it.

Ignoring it, we walk towards the speeder port of the Jedi Temple, and we walk towards our usual speeder. It is a white speeder, capable of holding up to five people in it, if you don't like comfortable rides. We get on the speeder, which is an XJ-3 Airspeeder. It is a very luxurious speeder, but it is one of the commodities of being in the Jedi Order.

"I think Obi-Wan is going to be mad at you," I admit, frowning my lips in an exaggerated way.

"Well, I don't care." He replies, getting on the pilot's seat of the airspeeder. I nod slowly and smile, amused at his words.

"Right," I comment, as I jump in the co-pilot's seat. "Well, where are we going?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at him. He shrugs and smirks, not willing to tell me our destination.

"A surprise," He tells me, starting the speeder's engines. I frown at him funnily, but I focus on the traffic ahead of us.

The sun is close to setting, and traffic gets worse at those times. I try to analyze the route he is taking, but I don't get any conclusions. He's not going to the Entertainment District. Or at least not where you can find entertainment establishments. However, after a while, I recognize the area we find ourselves in. Residential area, low-class apartments. I look at him with a frown, as my chest feels a sudden burn growing.

"Anakin" I murmur, shaking my head. He understands what I want to tell him, and he looks at me with a tender look, one I had never seen him wear. He leaves the speeder and picks me up, putting his hands around my waist, taking me out of the speeder. He slowly places me on the ground, and his hands leave my waist.

"Take this as my birthday present," He says smiling nicely, with the same tenderness that I can find in his eyes. I smile back, and look down, unsure about this being the right thing to do. I glance at the apartment block again. Vasma's apartment block. Seeing them again would remind me of things, make me remember about them. Every day I try to forget, to move on. If I see them again, will I be able to let them go again?

"I shouldn't do this" I mumble, letting my thoughts be heard out loud. "We shouldn't be here" He stares at me for a moment, without responding. Then, out of the blue, he starts walking towards the door. I doubt about following him, but I end up rushing after him. "Wait, Anakin" I shout as I run towards him. He waits for me in front of the elevator, which is already on the ground floor. I take a deep breath and walk inside of the elevator. My pulse starts racing, and he must feel it because he looks at me and tells me:

 _Calm down, Elara_. He puts a hand on my shoulder. I look up at him and he's giving me one of his reassuring smiles, that encouraging smile. He wants me to enjoy this moment. And he believes I can do it, I can go back to the Temple unbothered, and feeling much better. And I might. I might not miss them as much as I think I do. Either way, it is scary. But I focus on his encouraging smile.

We walk out of the elevator, once the elevator reaches the level Vasma's apartment is in. I walk towards the door of the apartment, Anakin walking behind me. As I stop in front of the door, I frown at it with mixed feelings. Fear and excitement fill my mind, creating a state of doubt.

 _This is going to be good for everyone_. I hear Anakin say in my head. I glance at him with worry, uncertainty.

"Maybe they are better without me" I murmur so low it's more like a whisper that gets lost in the air. He looks at me raising his eyebrows, surprised at my statement. But he doesn't respond, because I feel something around. I feel someone. I know that feeling. I turn to look at the door, stepping forward and knock, as if a trance makes me follow all those steps towards that someone. A female figure opens the door, with a confused expression in her face. However, when she sees me, her expression softens and she is unable to exhale.

"Elara..." She whispers, in shock as her hands travel from the door towards me. Her arms surround me tightly. I let her arms take me, the arms of my mother. I close my eyes, inevitably letting the water drops that were hanging in the edge of my eyes to fall down my cheeks. I missed her hugs. I missed her. I didn't realize I could miss someone as much. She pulls away, after a moment to enjoy the hug. "Look at you, you've grown so much" She murmurs as she touches my cheek. "You have even put on weight, look how strong you are." She takes my hand to turn around, which makes me laugh softly. She looks at me happily, and can't help it but hug her again.

"I've missed you" I whisper. She sniffs, just after I do, and I know she's crying too. It's a very emotionally charged moment for both of us.

"I've missed you too, my little sun" She tells me softly. I open my eyes to find Vasma with a shocked expression on her face. I pull away from my mother and glance at Vasma with a smile. She grins at me, raising her eyebrows with confusion. I rush to hug her.

"What are you doing here?" Vasma asks me, before pulling away to look at me. I look back at Anakin, who is standing by the still open front door.

"Anakin drove me here." I inform, as I signal him to come into the apartment. "I'm a Padawan now, and we're celebrating."

"Oh, I'm glad for you, I guess. I don't know what a Padawan is." She responds with a wide smile. "It's good to see you, Anakin. How are you?" Anakin walks in and looks at Vasma, closing the door behind him and standing close to my mother.

"Good, being in the Jedi Order is a luxury." He says with a polite smile, before turning to face my mother. My heart stops for a second, making me hold my breath at the incoming interaction. Will he know? Will he suspect anything? I managed to make them forget about my parentage, as they weren't able to find any DNA records of my parents. I honestly had thought having my father's DNA would be a possibility, but apparently, they are not in the database. "I'm sorry, I'm Anakin Skywalker." He says, interrupting my thoughts and looking at my mother with a small smile, giving her a slight nod. My mother quickly frowns but she extends her hand towards him.

"I'm Dasha." She replies as he holds her hand. They both shake their hands and before Anakin is able to ask her anything else, like her surname or background, I ask:

"What are you doing here, Dasha?"

"I invited her for the week, since the other day it was your birthday, I thought we should spend it together." Vasma responds instead of my mother. I look at her and smile tenderly. The fact that they reunited for my birthday, warms my heart. I didn't abandon them, I know they don't feel abandoned. And they have each other, which makes me feel much better.

"Oh, that's nice."

"Yes, I have been spending a lot of time here, Vasma has been needing my help around here, and I'm always glad to come." My mother adds before Vasma looks at her with a slight frown. I frown at my mother too, before turning to look back at my friend.

"Is everything alright?" I ask, with a slight hint of worry.

"Oh, yes, everything's fine." She replies with a quick smile on her lips. Then, she points towards the couches. "Please, take a seat and feel comfortable around here." I look over at Anakin, before slowly walking towards a couch. Soon, he joins me there, sitting beside me. My mother and Vasma sit in front of us, on the opposite couch.

"She's got news, though." Dasha adds as she sits down on the couch, glancing at Vasma, who only rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"Well, she doesn't really need to know." She replies, widening her eyes slightly, obviously trying to avoid a certain topic. I frown and narrow my eyes at them, with confusion and curiosity.

"Um... She's here, and she wants to know." I say, speaking my thoughts. Both of their faces turn look at me. "What is it?" Vasma looks at my mother, before sighing and staring at me.

"I'm pregnant." She confesses before her eyes focus on her hands. "But I left my job a while ago." I nod slowly, as my mouth faintly opens in shock. "I'm studying now, at the University of Coruscant. I asked for a Coruscant Social Reintegration scholarship, and it was granted to me." I take some seconds, to process the information and for the words to come out of my mouth.

"Vasma, that's..." I start speaking, trying to find the best words to describe this situation. "Incredible." I smile widely at Vasma, feeling genuinely glad for her current situation. Her life is much better now. "I am really happy for you. Wow. It's just a lot to take in." I confess, letting out a soft laugh, as I turn to look at Anakin, who is giving me a soft and encouraging smile. He's always supporting me, respecting me and my emotions.

"I know. That's why I didn't want to tell you." She says, before looking at my mother with a forced smile, but Dasha simply laughs it off. "But Dasha has never been the most tactful one, has she?" My mother then weakly lets her jaw drop and shakes her head, pointing at me.

"Come on, she's happy for you." She reminds Vasma as she takes a cup of tea that was on the table, who simply looks at me and Anakin again, but now she stands up, with an apologetic look in her face.

"Oh Force, I'm a horrible host..." She murmurs to herself. "Would any of you two like anything to drink?" I look at her raising my eyebrows since I hadn't even noticed that in the first place. I just came to visit her.

"Oh, tea for me," I tell her, with a small smile.

"What about you, Anakin?"

"Water is fine, thank you," Anakin responds with a faint smile. Vasma leaves and walks towards the kitchen, which gives my mother the chance to speak to me and ask me about my life.

"So, a Padawan?" She asks, slightly frowning at me as she drinks from her tea. She obviously has some knowledge about the Jedi. "You have just been there for a year."

"I know but, I had a great Master."

"Well, it was more than just the Master," Anakin adds, looking at me with a faint frown. The slight smile on his face tells me that he is going to praise me. "She is the most hardworking person I have ever met. She was studying and training every day to get better and better. I would also say she is naturally gifted, but she doesn't like that." He speaks about me in the third person, but he is looking at me most of the time. I smile, rolling my eyes and immediately replying to his words.

"Because it's not true," He looks at me raising his eyebrows before I shrug and shake my head. "I just read a lot, if you read more you would learn so many things." He shrugs and shakes his head with a half-smile.

"I am not good at reading." He murmurs, and my mother frowns with a hint of worry. Without realizing it at first, I'm giving Anakin that same look, which created the worry in my mother's eyes. I see something in Anakin now, he is thinking and something is upsetting him.

"So, I get that you're enjoying the Jedi life." My mother comments, changing the subject and placing her teacup on the coffee table.

"Definitely," I speak, with a nice smile on my lips. "Sometimes it can be hard, but Anakin is always there for me when I need support." I glance at him, and I see that he sends me a quick smile.

"That's good."

"How have you been doing?" I ask, crossing my legs and keeping both of my hands together on top of my knees.

"Good. I am still working, but my schedule is much less demanding now. I spend a lot of time here with Vasma, she needs help and guidance, which is something I want to give." She explains nicely, shrugging a few times before raising her eyebrows at the end. She is just as expressive as I remembered, always showing what she is thinking just by the way her eyes look at you, or her hands accompanying her already a clear message.

"I'm glad about that," I add, with a pleased look in my face. I really am glad to see her still going on. But she always has. She has always held on, always kept fighting. "I just hope you're happy."

"We try." She responds with a half-smile. "But I hope the same for you."

"I am. I truly am."

Just as the words leave my mouth, Vasma walks again into the living room carrying my cup of tea and Anakin's glass of water. I can see now that she is clearly pregnant, as the clothes show her still growing belly. Maybe she's three months pregnant, I would guess. She gives us our respective drinks, and I glance at Anakin as he mouths a 'thanks' for Vasma. He quietly drinks and just listens, respecting every moment I have with Vasma and my mother.

"So, how has been everything doing?" Vasma suddenly asks, taking a seat next to my mother.

"Good, I'm really happy with the Jedi."

"And you look incredible." She comments with a soft scoff, raising her eyebrows. I do have to admit my physical appearance has changed. I feel stronger, physically ready to face challenges I would have never been ready to face a year ago. "I wished I was as fit as you are right now."

"Well, you are carrying a baby." I remind her jokingly, narrowing my eyes at her funnily.

"Indeed."

"Tell me about it!" I exclaim, really wanting her to talk to me about her experience. I just want to hear about her, since she looks better now. At least, happier. "How far into it are you?"

"Well, I'm fourteen weeks pregnant and it's been horrible so far." She laughs, glancing at my mother who raises her eyebrows, not surprised at the statement. "My body hurts all the time, and I feel very tired... I am feeling better now but I haven't had good sleep for weeks. And my sickness is gone now, so that's really good."

"I have told her now things will be easier, and physically she'll feel better." My mother tells me before looking at Vasma.

"Yeah."

"What about the father?" I ask, before drinking from my tea. I don't have any problem asking her about it since we have never had any problem when speaking about certain topics such as sex. Even though it is something I have never experienced myself, we used to speak about it openly. She definitely taught me a lot about it, in theory.

I, however, glance at Anakin from the corner of my eye, checking his comfort with the situation. When I see him, my gaze goes back to Vasma in relief, because he seems to be too immersed in his thoughts. He is definitely not paying attention to ten conversation.

"Oh, it's Skaara." She says, frowning slightly at me. She probably didn't realize that I haven't been here for a year, and I'm lost on the topic of her relationship with Skaara, the owner of our usual diner. "We didn't look for it, but we're glad it happened."

"I thought you used an implant." I murmur, frowning at her with confusion.

"The effect ended, and I had left my job... I completely forgot to change it." She explains raising her shoulders with a faint grimace, admitting it with a small smile in her face. I nod slowly, taking in the information.

"So... You're still together." I point out, nodding. She nods back at me with a grin drawn in her face. I would have never said their relationship would go this far, but I can't say I am not glad about the turn of events. "That's good, I'm really happy for you, Vasma." I admit smiling at her nicely.

"Thank you, Elara." She replies, looking at my mother for a moment. They are sharing this experience together, without me. Because I left them both, and now they have found comfort and trust in each other. A motherless woman soon to become a mother and a woman who lost her child years ago. I feel Anakin's eyes on me, and although I can still sense he is thinking and not really paying attention to the conversation, he is paying attention to my feelings and what's happening in the room.

"Now, tell me about the university. What are you studying?" I drink from my tea again, trying to keep my mind working. Vasma's eyes look at me with a certain brightness.

"Labor Relations!"

✰

My mother's arms wrap around me as we stand by the door. Visiting them was a bittersweet experience. Seeing them filled me with happiness, but also in a state of melancholy and gloom. Now, however, my mother's embrace is erasing any negative feeling, and it's protecting me.

"It was nice to see you again, and see you this happy" My mother whispers to me, as one of her hands passes through my hair, carefully caressing the back of my head. I smile into her shoulder, closing my eyes.

"I'm glad you're not alone" I confess with a grin, as I take in the hug. I want to remember this forever. I don't know if I will see her again, and last time I never had the chance to hug her. She pulls away, keeping her hands on both my elbows.

"I don't know when I'll see you again, but until then, stay safe." She tells me softly before one of her hands leaves my elbow to caress my face. "I love you" She whispers, as her eyes start to show a slight line of water in its edges. "I'm really proud of you" I sadly smile at her words, as I take in her face, the way her eyes are looking at me with genuine pride and happiness, hiding that aching feeling behind the wrinkles around them.

"Goodbye," I mumble, trying not to cry as she lets go. Anakin opens the door of the apartment, and I leave before it gets harder to leave the apartment. Anakin says goodbye to both women, and I wait for him in the hallway, by the elevator. I surround my torso with one of my arms, while I use the other to slightly cover my mouth.

Anakin walks towards me, as the door of Vasma's apartment closes. I close my eyes as I wait for the elevator, taking a deep breath. I feel Anakin looking at me, but he doesn't try to comfort me, it feels like he is analyzing me for a moment. Then, he puts his hand on my back, as I start feeling a wave of comfort from his force signature.

"Everything's alright?" I ask him as my eyes meet his. I know there is something going on in his mind. Not only I have been spending one year with him, I have the ability to sense him better than other people. However, I feel I am also trying to reassure myself.

"Yeah, I'm just... Thinking." He responds, nodding slowly as the elevator doors open. As he walks inside, I stare at him, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. As I walk into the elevator, he stares back.

"What are you thinking?" I ask, trying to keep up with him looking at me. The elevator starts to go down, and both of us keep our eyes locked in each other.

"Nothing, really." He answers, slightly shrugging without looking away. I bite my inner lip, raising an eyebrow at him with faint defiance in my eyes.

"So, you're not telling me, uh?" I ask in a murmur, and he blinks at me. I could swear I saw him flinch, but I'm not entirely sure about it. Then, the elevator doors open, and he looks away from me. He walks out of the elevator and I follow him, frowning at the ground. When we reach the speeder, I wait until he reaches his side, so he can look at me. "Anakin."

"Elara, it's nothing, forget it" He says frowning at me, and I know how stubborn he is. He can be even more stubborn than I am, and that's saying a lot already. I know continuing with this conversation will lead nowhere. I take a breath before jumping into the airspeeder, and when he occupies the pilot's seat, he looks at me again. "Where do you wanna go?"

"What?" I ask with confusion. "Aren't we going back to the Temple?"

"If that's what you want, yes. But the sun is still setting." He turns his gaze towards the sun, which is illuminating the city with shades of yellow and orange. "We can do whatever you want. Just tell me and we'll go there." He offers, and I frown at him faintly, as my lips turn into a smile.

"Well, we were celebrating, weren't we?" I ask him, raising one of my eyebrows as a place we can go pops into my mind. "Let's celebrate then."

I give him the directions he has to follow to arrive at The Olbio Tree. However, Anakin doesn't know exactly where we are going. It was one pub that I had visited a few times because it had one of the best burgers I had ever had. However, the burger was just an addition to the already beautiful arrangement of the pub itself.

The Olbio Tree is a typical plant found in jungle planets such as Myrkr, and the bar represents the origin of the name by embracing the idea of the jungle all around it. I used to find comfort there, as a way to forget that I was trapped in Coruscant; that leaving the planet was almost impossible. Traveling from planet to planet is far more expensive than what people would think. Now I think that for a year, I haven't tasted a burger. The Jedi Temple foods are simple and pretty generic. It is part of the Jedi humility, as I have been told. I glance at Anakin, wondering if he has ever had a burger. There's so much I still don't know about him, and there's so much I would love to learn.

✰

Once we walk inside of The Olbio Tree, I turn to glance at Anakin, as his eyes gather around the pub, picking the details of the flora that has grown around the room. The old and original Olbio Tree grows in the middle of the room, as its branches expand through the ceiling. Little lights are hanging on its branches, illuminating the room with shades of gold. On the walls, other types of vines are growing, accompanying other kinds of smaller trees, bushes and flowers that are scattered around the room. The wooden tables are decorated with small, white candles, and benches are positioned close to the tables. Anakin looks at me with a radiant smile, one that warms the interior of my chest.

"This is incredible, Elara." He comments, before his eyes turn to look at the lights again. I smile to myself.

"I know, it used to be my favorite place." I explain. "I guess it still is. I haven't seen much." I shrug as a figure approaches our position near the entrance.

"Elara!" Exclaims a Devaronian, green male with dark green hair. He wraps my arms around me, giving me a quick hug and I nicely smile at him.

"Hi, Corl." He is the owner of the Olbio Tree, and since I used to visit this place constantly, he knew me personally. He glances at me and Anakin, nodding as he puts his hands over his hips.

"It's been a long time without seeing you around." He confesses, as his eyes quickly scan the picture in front of his eyes. Corl had always seemed analytical, and he had proved to be. He was extremely observant. For some, too much.

"Yeah, I've been busy." I declare, as he clearly notices my Jedi robes and the lightsaber in Anakin's belt.

"I see." He gives me a quick nod, before his hands turn towards the middle of the bar. "Well, grab a seat and I'll send someone immediately!" He informs before he starts leaving towards the kitchen.

"Thank you, Corl!" I tell him, and soon he is gone. As we walk further inside of the bar, I glance at Anakin, who is still enjoying the view of the illuminated branches of the Olbio tree. "I used to come here alone. It is a very peaceful place, and it's beautiful." He turns to look at me. "Sometimes I had to remind myself there's still beauty in the galaxy." I admit, before I point at a table located near the roots of the tree. When we are sitting on the bench, Anakin glances at the paper menu, but he doesn't take it. Instead, he glances at me and gives me an interested look.

"What do you recommend me?" He asks with one of his eyebrows raised. I tilt my head slightly, letting out a soft scoff and nod at him. It makes me glad that he trusts my personal criteria. It just makes me happy the fact that he cares, in a way.

"The Olbio Special is the best burger I have ever had." I start to inform. "Everything here is imported from Sacorria. The burger itself, however, has caramelized onions, mushrooms, Bantha cheese, lettuce, the special Olbio sauce and an amazingly cooked Bantha meat burger."

"Well, I have never had a burger." He admits and confirms the thoughts I had previously had in the airspeeder, when we were still on our way. "I guess I should follow the recommendation of an expert."

"You should." I respond with a smile drawn in my face. A Twi'lek waitress approaches our table with a datapad in her hand and a warm smile in her face.  
"Hello, sweetheart, what are you going to have?" She asks, preparing to take the order in her datapad.

"We'll have two Olbio Specials and two Circuit ciders." I tell her with a nice smile. She gives me a quick nod, before looking at me again.  
"Lovely." She comments before she rushes in the direction of the kitchen.

"So we're doing that." Anakin adds with a wide smile. I stare at him, and soon I realize that he is referring to the cider beers I ordered. I nod and smile with a faint frown.

"Yes, we are." I say. "I love Circuit cider. I deserve to have some if we are celebrating." He nods and his gaze travels around the room once more. I mirror his actions, and I find myself staring at the flora that I would usually get lost looking at. I used to love being here, alone.

I didn't need company here, because I felt free in a way. It was all too warm and welcoming. It felt comfortable and right. Then, my eyes go back to Anakin. The boy who doesn't like to talk about his past, but who can blame him? I am the first one who would want to forget part of the past.

"What were the things you liked to do before being a Jedi?" I ask before I even process the thought in my head. For an instant, I think he is not going to answer. He looks at me with surprise, frowning at me for a second. When his face softens, his lips start to move.

"Not much... I used to like Pod racing, that was typical in Tatooine. I guess that's why I like flying and piloting. But I was always building or repairing things." He explains, to my surprise. I listen with interest, as I truly want to know about him. I know he likes to keep his mind busy, and building suits him perfectly. He is the kind of person that would find comfort in things that keep his head distracted and focused. "I built a protocol droid once. C-3PO." He looks away from me, his eyes locking in his hands. "Yeah, I was good at it." He murmurs, almost as if he was telling that to himself. I imagine him, building things, creating his protocol droid, and I can't help it but smile to myself.

"That's cool." I reply, with a genuine smile showing at the corner of my lips.

"What about you?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at me. I think about it for a couple of seconds, biting the interior of my lip.

"I guess I liked singing. I used to do it sometimes in the Outlanders Club, when my boss told me to do it." I respond, shrugging my shoulders slightly. Anakin frowns amused for a moment, surprised at my answer. "And when I was a little girl, back in the orphanage, I would pretend to do concerts for my roommates. We would have a lot of fun, and there was a KeyBed that I used to play when they allowed me." I smile at the memories. Music had been a very important part for me in the orphanage. I used to surround myself with music, in an attempt to run away from reality. It was a way to forget about the Force too.

"What about reading?" He asks me with curiosity. "I would have thought you'd be reading all day."

"I like reading yeah, but I never had the money to be able to do so." I reason, nodding and remembering how my priorities didn't lie in being able to buy books. Anakin nods at me and shrugs with a smile.

"Well, now you have the Jedi archives." He comments."You basically live there."

"I don't spend that much time there."

"Oh, you do." He smiles and shakes his head, showing his amusement at the idea of bothering me. Because he knows it bothers me that he jokes about me working hard and reading a lot. However, I'm not hurt about it, it is simply annoying. "I bet you know every single librarian by now."

"You're the worst." I roll my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose shaking my head, as I softly laugh. I do know the names of the people that organize and preserve the Jedi archive. I think, in my situation, anyone would. I do spend a good amount of time there, and they know me already. They help me to understand things when I need it and guide me when I can't find certain information.

The Twi'lek waitress comes back, with two glasses filled of Circuit cider. Both Anakin and I thank her when she does, and she gives us a nice smile before rushing away one more time. I look at my cider beer and take the glass. I drink a bit from the sweet and slightly fizzy content of the glass. I smile at it as I place it back on the table, I glance at Anakin, who is also enjoying the taste of the Circuit cider.

"I want to learn more, and through reading I'll understand things of the Force much better." I explain myself. I want him to understand why I spend so much time at the library. He leaves the glass on the table, but he leaves his fingers around it. "Did you know about the origins of the Jedi? About the rise of the Sith? I find all of the divergence of the Force really interesting. I want to understand the Force, and for it you have to know where it comes from. The light and the dark are both parts of the Force." He frowns at me, processing the information I'm giving him. I know there's something I definitely want to discuss with him. Something that especially concerns him. "You are supposed to be the Chosen One to bring balance to the Force, from what I have heard." He looks away from me and scoffs, grabbing his glass again.

"So I've been told." He comments, drinking the cider beer again. I frown slightly at him, as I wasn't expecting this kind of response. Although, in reality, I wasn't expecting anything in particular.

"Do you know what the prophecy says?" I ask, before taking my own glass. WHen he places his glass on the table, he smiles at him, but it is closer to a forced smirk than to a genuine smile.

"I bet you can tell me yourself." He replies, raising his eyebrows at me."You've read about it, haven't you?" After drinking from the glass, I hold it with my left hand, without placing it on the wooden surface of the table. I know he is annoyed in some extent, and I can understand why. He probably feels like I went behind his back, like the rest of people. Everyone speaks about him in Temple, whispers about the Chosen One are not uncommon in the halls of the Jedi Temple.

"I wanted to understand what it meant. Especially what it meant for you." I admit. His expression softens slowly as he keeps listening to me. "People kept talking about it all around me, and now I realise they don't even know what it means."

"People are masters at pretending they know, when they really don't." He comments, and I can feel the weight of that statement in the way I sense the tension arise in him. I understand that he is annoyed at people talking about him, because they know nothing. I don't even know myself, and I am the closest person to him in the Temple.

"Well, let me tell you what I think about the prophecy of the Chosen One." I start to say, attempting to make the tension fade. He raises one eyebrow at me, curious about my thoughts. "A Chosen One shall come, born of no father, and through him will ultimate balance in the Force be restored." I remember the words of the prophecy of the Chosen One. He drinks from his beer again, clearly affected by the prophecy itself. I've thought about the father part quite a lot, and I could bet that's the most unsettling part for him. It would be for me, a daughter with no knowledge about her father. "That's what the Jedi holocron said."

"Yeah, I know." He mutters quickly.

"People have told me that it means bringing the destruction of the Sith. But I'm not sure that means balance in the Force." I continue speaking, adding my own interpretation of it. Anakin frowns at me with confusion and worry, and for a moment, I think I may have made a mistake.  
"What?" He asks, lowering his voice, afraid to be heard discussing this topic. "If any Jedi Master hears you say that... That's a dangerous thing to say to a Jedi" That surprises me. He is not scolding me, or calling me crazy. I am not mistrusting him. He is advising me and trying to protect me. That just gives me more reasons to keep explaining myself.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Mine is an objective perspective of the Force. I haven't seen it through the eyes of the Jedi since an early age." I explain, raising my eyebrows in a defensive way. He doesn't say anything, he just waits until I say something else. "When I was younger, it was something that was there. Something I didn't understand completely, but it was more than just the Jedi." I stare at him, and I know he will understand if he thinks about the Force by itself. "What is the Force?"

"It's an energy field created by all living things-"

"Yeah, exactly." I interrupt him before he is able to keep describing the Force. We both know the book definition of the Force. "It's pure energy, that interconnects every living thing in the universe; it is an invisible everything." His eyes narrow slightly in my direction, as his mind starts to follow my way of thinking. "And the Jedi and Sith are just ways of approaching it." I continue, placing the glass on the table. Both my hands rest on the wooden table now. "Therefore balance must not be a question about Jedi or Sith, don't you think so?"

"Listen, what you're saying makes sense, from a point of view." He responds, giving me a half-smile. "It is not a question about Jedi or Sith, it's a question of light and darkness." I nod enthusiastically, raising my right hand.

"Then, balance does not mean a monopoly for the light." I reply, dropping the right hand lower and lifting the left one instead. "Nor a sovereignty of darkness." I level both hands at the same height. "It means an equal amount, or a peace between the sides, or... A grey approach." He narrows his eyes and scoffs.

"Grey?" He asks, shaking his head. "That's not possible. You'd fall into the Dark Side at one point." I listen to him, frowning. I truly want to find an answer for this. Because if Anakin is the Chosen One, the future of the Force depends on him. And I care about him. I want to solve this with him. For him. "Darkness consumes you, Elara. There is no way to get away from it if you embrace it."

"Maybe not..." I whisper, and he hears it. However, he doesn't have time to respond to me. "I have to keep researching, but there is limited information about other codes that are not the Jedi." I tell him, half-smiling at him. He takes a deep breath as he frowns at his glass.

"Elara, I get what you mean, but if you're implying that there is some kind of peaceful solution between the Jedi and the Sith... I doubt it." He gives his opinion bluntly and directly, which I appreciate. "Both have always stood against each other, fundamentally attempting to erase the other. There is no way to stop something that has been going on for thousands of years." I take some air as I listen to him, taking the glass of cider beer. "That's just wishful thinking."

"Then you have the hardest job in for the Force." I comment jokingly, and he scoffs. "But I believe you can do it." I add with a nice smile, the first one since we started speaking about the prophecy. He looks at me with an unreadable expression in his face. "I'm quite positive about certain things." As I say the last words, the waitress appears again with both of our burgers, and we quietly thank her. I look at the plate and smile, remembering the moments in this bar. The amount of these burgers I have had. I glance at Anakin as he grabs the burger, wanting to see his reaction. He bites it, and he looks down for a moment, as his hands leave the burger in the plate again. He turns to look at me nodding.

"Kriff, this is really good." He mumbles, putting one hand over his mouth, as he is still chewing the bite of the burger. I smiled widely at him.  
"I know." I reply, taking my burger in my hands. "I'm glad you like it." I tell him before I bite my burger. The sweet and salty taste of the burger brings back the warm memories, and I feel full, complete, comfortable; happy. I look at Anakin one more time, and now this familiar taste, will remind me of this. This will be a warm and loving memory one day. I will look back, and remember the orange lights, the tree, the Circuit beer, Anakin's tension, his smile, my trust in him...

"Anakin." I call him, leaving my burger on the plate. His eyes look at me with confusion as he grabs his glass.

"Yeah?"

"We're friends, right?" My question catches him off-guard and he intensely frowns at me, displaying his clear confusion and surprise. I am surprised myself, as I wasn't expecting myself to ask that.

"Yeah, why?" He responds slowly, with a slight fear that I can sense through the Force. I shrug and I give him a confused smile.

"Are we allowed to be friends?" I narrow my eyes faintly as I formulate my question. "You know, we are not supposed to have attachment."

"I honestly don't care." He tells me with a small smile, and a warm wave rushes through my body. "Despite your obsessive reading habits and your grey theories, you're the best thing I have in the Jedi Temple." He simply says with a charming smile, before he drinks from his glass again. I doubt he realizes the weight of his words now, or the impact those words would have on me, but I just stare at him. I am important for him. I'm the best thing in the Jedi Temple. He glances at me and I look back at my drink, taking it and raising it.

"To friends." I tell him, trying to contain the happiness that seems to be overflowing through my body. He smiles at me and raises his glass next to mine.

"To friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading until this point. I hope you are enjoying the story so far, and most of all I hope you like the characters. Next chapter is an in depth exploration of Nyla and Elara’s characters and their relationship, and if I may, I am really excited for you to read it. 
> 
> Love,  
> Laura.


	7. Lesson

[ _elara_ ]

 **I** run through the obstacles in my way, dodging and jumping over them when it's necessary. Once I reach the end of the training sequence, I stop and put both my hands on my laps. I take the time to recover my breath and Nyla walks next to me.

"Very good." She tells me. A wide smile is drawn on her face. "20 seconds. We're getting faster, very good." I glance at her and I smile back at her. It's a great achievement, to do the whole sequence in 20 seconds." My physical form has been something we have been working for these four first months of training as a Padawan. I'm improving my resistance, my speed and my reflexes, with usual movements and tricks used by the Jedi. "Tomorrow we'll be focusing more in acrobatic tricks, alright? But we can repeat the sequence and check the time again."

"Yeah, sure!" I reply as I straighten my back, standing besides her. She puts both of her hands over her hips. "What are we going to do now?"

"I thought we could practice another mental technique, instead of just meditating. We've known for each other for three months already, and I would say we have a good relationship, that there's trust between us," She speaks as she looks at obstacles and moves her right hand, making them disappear from the room, and the artificial lights shut down. The blinds that were covering the windows rise, letting the natural light of the day lighten the room.

"Yes, I feel really comfortable with you." I admit with a nice smile. "I think you understand me very well. Your guidance and advice are always useful for me." It is the truth. I feel her genuine way of caring about me, and I can't help but think if this is the way an older sister is supposed to feel like. Someone you can look up to, someone who is always there when you need it. I feel that way with Nyla, which is strange, given that she has only been my master for three months. It's like I can tell already how important she is going to be for me. She looks at me, and I can sense how that truly affects her, in a positive way. I can see her the soft wrinkles in her corner of eyes, as her mouth turns into a radiant smile. I swear, this woman is a pure crystal, she naturally shines.

"I'm really glad about that." She tells me with a wide smile. "That means we both understand each other, which is a very important thing to create a Master and Padawan bond." She further explains. She stands in front of me, looking at me with her big dark eyes. "What we're going to do today, is a kind of mental technique used to project information." I nod with curiosity. One thing I am loving about Nyla's training, is her emphasis on making be a better Jedi, and understanding the Force in its every form. She thinks like me, in that sense. We share that inquisitiveness to understand the real nature of the Force. "Let's sit together." I sit down, intertwining my legs and straightening my back. "Like this, yes, perfect. Give me both of your hands." I extend my arms, and she takes both of my hands. She holds my hands with their respective contrary, taking into account she is sitting in front of me. She closes her eyes, and I know that's my cue to close them too. "Now, you have to project something you want me to see. In a way, you have to transfer a memory, a feeling, a dream into my own mind." I frown when I realize what she is asking me to do, and I don't know if will be able to do it. She must sense my worry, because she talks again. "Don't worry, I'll start."

Just as she speaks, my heart beat slows down. I feel a warming sensation around me, and I somehow know it is her. She is already projecting. I take a deep and long breath, as the tension leaves my shoulders. A slightly blurred image appears in my mind. I realize there is a small kid sitting on the ground, laying with some wooden speeders. The kid seems to be around five or six years old, a young brunette girl with all her hair gathered in a braid. She is making some noises, imitating the sound of airspeeders as she moves them through the air.

"Honey, can you keep it quiet?" A female voice asks, and I realize there is a woman sitting in a couch. She looks at the kid with a tired gaze. I find her extremely sad, and the dark shadows under her eyes prove she is not well. The kid raises her gaze to meet the woman's eyes and her eyes widen apologetically.

"I'm sorry, mum." The kid murmurs, leaving the wooden toys on the ground. "I will stop playing." The mother looks at the kid with a frown filled with sadness and frustration.

"Oh, darling, no, you can keep playing." She tells her daughter. I notice how soft and weak her voice is. The daughter shakes her head and stands up.

"No, mum." She starts to walk towards the couch. "I'll sit with you." She smiles sweetly at her mother, sitting besides her. The older woman wraps her arms around the little girl and carefully passes her hand through her head. The eyes of the mother look at her child with sorrow, and many thoughts seem to go through her head in the few moments that pass. The tears in her eyes quickly fall down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, darling." The mother finally whispers, placing a kiss in her daughter's forehead gently. Then, she cleans her tears rapidly, in an attempt to hide her sadness from her daughter.

"Mum?" The girl asks, confused and worried for her mother. "Are you crying?" Despite her efforts, the kid notices and the mother simply nods, letting out a soft laugh to make it easier for her child.

"Yes, honey."

"Why are you sad?" The kid asks, as she shifts her body in the couch. She sits on her knees, looking at her mother with worry. She doesn't understand her mother's tears, and she assumes it must be her fault. "I won't play with my toys again, I promise. I'm sorry, mum." The mother looks at her child surprised, unable to process what she said. She is assuming it is something she did, and as a mother, it hurts her. The child could never do anything to hurt her mother, and that's what I can see in the woman's eyes.

"Oh, no. I want you to play, and I want you to have fun." The mother quietly speaks.

"And I want to have fun with you." The daughter frowns confused and sad at her mother, she clearly doesn't notice the pale tone of her skin, the way her eyes create dark circles under her eyes, and how the bones in her collarbone show under the skin. "But I am really sick, darling." She caresses the child's temple, putting some lose hair of her braid behind her ear. "Mum is really, really sick."

"Well, I'll help you get better." The kid replies with an optimistic smile, one that shifts the feeling in my body. "Like you always do when I'm sick." However, when I look at the mother again, there is a sad smile drawn in her face, one that is meant to encourage her child, but it is also showing the reality of the situation. This woman's illness is not that easy to cure.

The image fades into another one, and I find the kid, writing down in a notebook while her mother sits in a table with two other people. THe strangers are talking with her, and the kid glances at the table. The two strangers are wearing clothes that remind me to the Jedi Order, and as I look closely, I can see the order's sign on their clothes.

"How old is she?" One of the figures asks, and the mother looks at them with a frown. She is conflicted.

"She's six years old." She responds, before looking towards her daughter. The child looks at the notebook again, continuing to write down on it. "She's a wonderful girl." The strangers stare at the girl as the mother turns to look at them again. "Are you going to take her in?"

"We are. I hope that's alright with you." One of them speaks, calmly and quietly. She nods, and forces a smile that hides her emotional conflict.

"Yes, of course." She answers, looking down at her hands. I feel a heavy pressure in my chest at the view of this scene. A mother letting go her child, the child oblivious of what is really happening. "I can't take care of her in this state. And I don't seem to be getting better any time soon."

"We will take care of her, Mrs Kelrian" As the image shifts, I realize what this is. This is a memory. This is Nyla's memory.

"No! I am not leaving this house!" I hear a high pitched voice screaming. I turn around to find the little girl crossing her arms over her chest, avoiding to look at anyone.

"Nyla, your mother wants you to leave with us." One of the Jedi recruiters says. That's Nyla. The kid is Nyla, and this is the memory of her mother, of how she left her. "You will learn a lot, you will visit other planets."

"I don't want to visit other planets." The much younger Nyla mutters, with anger and sadness. She's just a kid and I know what she needs, what she wants. "I want to be with my mum." I feel a sharp sting in my chest as she softly speaks my thoughts.

"Nyla, darling." Her mother calls her as she slowly kneels down next to her. "I am very sick, and I want to get better." She explains with a soft smile, taking one of Nyla's small hands. "I am going somewhere to get better, but children cannot go there." Nyla drops her arms and her anger fades, only leaving the hopeful eyes of child whose mother said she can get better.

"Do you like speeders?" One of the Jedi recruiters asks Nyla, raising their eyebrows. It is a distracting technique. However, with a six-year-old Nyla, it works, and the face of the young girl lightens at the question. She nods enthusiastically. "We have many of those in Coruscant. You will like it there." The girl smiles and looks at her toys.

"Are there other kids where you are taking me?" She asks, and the other Jedi recruiter smiles at her.

"Many. You will know a lot of other younglings." Nyla smiles at the thought of living with more kids. "The Jedi will become your new family." And just like that, they got her to leave with them. But I understand. A family. It sounds inviting, it sounds warm, it sounds safe. Something everyone would want.

Before she leaves her house, the little girl looks at her mother and the woman embraces her daughter with her arms. Both enjoy the hug, and although for Nyla there's still hope it is not the last one, she still hugs her like it is.

"Mum, will you come back for me?" The girl asks softly as they pull away. "When you get better." The mother takes a deep breath, glancing at both Jedi recruiters before answering. Then, she smiles at her daughter, caressing her cheek and nodding.

"Of course, darling."

The whole image fades and it leaves a darkness behind, as well as an emptiness in my chest. I slightly open my eyes, noticing the wet circles under them. I am not surprised to find that Nyla is in the same state I am. She smiles at her as one of her hands lets go of mine to clean the salty water under her eyes.

"This is an intense exercise." She laughs, trying to lighten the mood. I raise my eyebrows softly at her way of handling this moment. She looks at me and takes my hand again. "Now it is your turn."

"I don't know if I can." I respond, not feeling ready to look into my own memories. I don't want to get in my own head. I don't usually revisit memories, too afraid of the emotions they may bring me.

"You can do it." Nyla encourages with the smallest of smiles. "Share whatever you feel like showing." She says, but my face must show all my insecurities. I must seem like an open book at the moment. "Something that means something to you, that you are attached to." I look at our hands. As I take some seconds to recover from the sudden memory. I wasn't expecting Nyla to show me her past, I didn't think she'd trust me with that. I'm not used to that, I don't usually have people that trust me enough to tell me their secrets. Vasma, for example, didn't have secrets, and my mother... She never spoke of my father. I don't even know his name.

"Why did you show me that, Nyla?" I quietly ask, before my eyes set on her again. She gives me a delicate smile, tightening the grip around my hands. It is comforting.

"I wanted to show you where I come from, I wanted to trust you with that." She explains, and I know she is speaking honestly by the way her eyes are looking at me. "As your master, I want you to grow and learn, and showing you how I learned from my experiences is another way to encourage you to learn from yours." I look at our hands one more time, and she breathes deeply. "Take a breath and relax." I close my eyes and do as she says. With my eyes closed it is easier to concentrate on my breathing. "I believe in you, Elara." Her words are more than enough to calm me down. She believes in me.

As I look into my own mind for memories, I don't really know what I am looking for. But my mind seems to be working in an automatic way. Without realizing it, I find myself back in the orphanage playing the keybed in the common room as some of the other girls listen to the music that I'm playing. I expand my mind, projecting the memory into Nyla's mind.

The eyes of the girls were staring at the keybed, really enjoying the mixture of sounds as my fingers pressed the different keys. I was wearing my favorite dress, one with a turtleneck and a knee-lengthened skirt. The yellow cotton contrasted with the black belt in my waist. It was my birthday that day, and they had granted me permission to play in the common room for everyone to hear.

The director of the orphanage walked into the room with a woman, one I didn't recognize. I had never seen that woman in my life. However, I kept playing until the song ended. When my fingers played the last notes of the song, the room stayed silent. The silence was quickly followed by the applause of the rest of the children in the orphanage and the rest of the staff that worked in the orphanage. As the staff called us for dinner, I stood up and left the keybed alone. But the director stopped me.

"Elara, you've got visit." He told me, with his always intimidating and serious face, as he walked with the woman towards me. I have never reached to understand why a man that despised kids so much could open an orphanage. I looked at woman with a frown, but before I could tell the director that I had no idea who this woman was, he left. The both of us were alone in the common room.

"Hello, Elara." She greeted. I remember it was awkward, because she seemed to know me. She smiled at me, she smiled like she was happy and proud.

"Hi." I spoke quietly. "I'm afraid I don't recognize you." I timidly smiled at her, with a slight confusion in my facial expression.

"Yeah, I know." She replied taking a deep breath. "Dasha Montrose." The name made my eyes widen.

I used to dream about my mother and my father, imagining what they looked like, how was their relationship. I also imagined living with them, spending time with them. Knowing my parents. Now, I had a woman who said her name was Dasha Montrose. My heart felt like it was going to pump out of my rib cage. I couldn't seem to speak. Thankfully, she did it for me.

"I am really happy to finally meet you, Elara."

I can't clearly remember how I reacted. I just remember the shock, the surprise at having her there in front of me. The next thing I remember is slowly and doubtfully wrapping my arms around her.

"You're not dead." I remember telling her. My chest was going to burst from happiness. I remember thinking that was the best gift I had ever had for my birthday. Usually, for birthdays the kitchen staff of the orphanage would gift a cake to the birthday child. Those were the only gifts I had ever received until my mother appeared. "I thought you would be dead." I felt the tears in my cheeks, falling slowly as my mother's arms surround me. I had always wondered how would it feel to be held by my mother. "But you're not dead." It didn't feel like what I had imagined, it wasn't as magical and special as I had dreamed, but it was much better than having nothing. "I have a mother."

Then, I remember walking with her towards a small and uncomfortable couch. And she spoke to me, explained me everything in a very general way. She told me about her job, about how she couldn't take care of me when I was a newborn and how my father had never been there when I was born. The only option she had had was to let other people take care of me.

"I'm really sorry, Elara." She apologized, with watery eyes looking straight at me. "Believe me when I say if I hadn't had to leave you, I wouldn't have."

"You don't have to explain anything." I replied with a soft smile, the soft and innocent smile of a twelve year old girl who had just met her mother, who thought she needed her mother. "I have you now." The expression in her face, however, was one of the things that took a little piece of the already shattered innocence I had.

With eleven years old, I had already see many things, things I wished I could erase from my mind. I first saw a dead body with six years old, when one of the few workers of the factory fell from the railings. The image was gruesome, and my six year old mind didn't understand yet what that meant. I remember thinking: That must hurt. Then, I had heard the older girls in the orphanage talking about a lot of things that had happened to them, or things they had done. Growing up without the safety of a home and a family, took most of my innocence away. As one of the older girls told me once: When you're alone, your only job is to survive.

"Elara... I still cannot take care of you." Her words were a confirmation of what her eyes were telling me. She grabbed my hand as I looked away from a moment. I had grown up feeling rejected by my family, feeling like I was left behind, feeling unloved. I felt like I hadn't been enough for them. And now my mother is here, and she is rejecting me again. "But I wanted you to know that I'm here. You've got me."

"Oh..." It was all I could say, as all the thoughts went through my head. This woman might have been my mother, and she may have loved me as a daughter, but I was not enough. I remember wishing I could be enough, I could do better. I wanted to be loved and be accepted. "I understand."

A few moments later, she took two blue wrappings and showed them to me with a smile. They were my birthday gifts.

"I have something for you." She said, as she handed me both paper wrapped objects. I took them in my hands and smiled at her widely. At least I have a piece of her with me. As I open them, I find a black bag to carry my things and a jacket, a beautiful brown leather jacket that seems to be old. With the way her eyes looked at me, I knew that jacket had been hers.

"Thank you." I tell her with a genuine smile. "It's very pretty."

"Just like you, love." She responded, softly touching my chin and giving me a wide smile. Then, I have random images of speaking with her, and letting her go. That was the hardest thing to do. I wasn't an orphan anymore, I had my mother. But not really. I was still alone.

A week later, I remember I left the broom in the maintenance small room, before leaving the whole facility. That day I had to clean most of the factory, because one of the other kids got sick. Getting sick was a blessing in the orphanage. When my temperature was a little bit higher than usual, I would feel a great relief in my body, knowing I wouldn't have to walk to the factory and do my assigned tasks.

Cleaning the factory was not fun. Instead of investing in droids for the cleaning, the director wanted to decrease the expenses. I didn't know that, though. I figured it out years later, when I realized the degree of immorality the director was willing to reach.

"Montrose, where do you think you're going?" I hear the supervisor ask me as I walk towards the exit of the factory. I frowned and shook my head innocently, I hadn't done anything wrong.

"I have already done my tasks, sir." I said, lowering my head.

"Did I let you leave?" He asked with a very aggressive tone in his voice, one I completely hate. No one should speak like that to a kid, and I had grown up listening to people talking like that to me. It was what I was supposed to be treated like, as an orphan. But I was not an orphan, at least not anymore. My mother did love me. She had always loved me.

"No, but I finished already, I thought-," I started to speak, but it wasn't a successful try, because immediately I am interrupted by the bearded creature, with brownish skin that looked like a roasted Bantha.

"Listen, child, I am your superior, I decide when you have the right to leave." He said, grabbing my wrist with strength and getting close to me. I can't remember the precise smell, but I do remember thinking it smelled horrible. I couldn't let them treat me like that anymore.

"No, you don't." I said back, gritting my teeth. The man's grip around my wrist became stronger and it started to hurt me incredibly. His disgustingly rotten breath fell in my face as he closed the distance between his face and mine with a glare.

"Pardon?"

"You don't have the right." I replied as I stood straight in front of him. I really tried to keep a brave facade in my face, but my legs were trembling. He stared at me and gave me one of the worst glares I have ever received before the palm of his hand crossed my face. The hit made my head turn, and as I looked at the ground, I remembered this kind of aggressions, this kind of behaviour I had previously accepted. I wasn't going t take that anymore. "I am leaving." I said, without looking at him. I wasn't going to look at the disgusting creature anymore.

"You're staying here until I say so if you don't want to double tomorrow!" He exclaimed, shaking me as he raised my arm. I closed my eyes, hoping that my gift would work. That gift was the Force, but I couldn't put a name to it at the moment. It was just my personal gift from the universe, a way to say sorry, a way to pity me. I heard a sound, and seconds later his hands let go of my wrist. I opened my eyes, and I saw him lying in the ground. The details are blurry, but I think I remember some blood in the ground. I was too filled with adrenaline to care.

"No, I'm not." I remember murmuring before I rushed out of the factory. I took the few things I had when I went back to the orphanage, and I left. I had never felt more freedom than I did in that moment.

My eyes fly open. But I hadn't intended to open them. All my eyes can see is a yellow, bright light. They are still adjusting to the light. When I am able to see clearly, I glance at Nyla, whose eyes are filled with tears. I am, for a moment, confused at that. The certain coldness under my eyes tells me I am crying too. But Nyla, she seems to be feeling everything I had showed her.

I realize she was the one that got me out of the memories. She still holds both of my hands with strength. I hear my own whimpers, and as I fully come back to my body, I feel the emotional weight of my memories increasing. I close my eyes and lower my head, taking some air.

"Oh, Elara..." Nyla lets out as she gets closer to me. She sits next to me and puts a hand behind my back, while her hand still holds mine. It is a warm gesture, one I really appreciate in this moment. She is being here for me. That's when I realize I can trust her with everything. All the doubts I might have had about her trust, are blown away by this moment.

"I have told very few people about my mother, about the orphanage..." I start to speak, softly. I want to get what I am feeling and thinking out of my chest. I need it. "I have been so lost all my life... So alone. All I wanted was to be normal." I confess, as I look at my own hands. I remember wanting a normal family, with normal parents; wanting to go to a normal school, with normal children; wanting to be a normal girl, who knew happiness, warmth, love and comfort. "But I have never been normal, and I will never be." I turn to look at Nyla and shake my head. "I'm sorry about this." She looks at me with an accentuated frown, one that displays her empathy. "You don't realize how awful I feel sometimes, when I cannot control my emotions."

"Elara, I understand." Nyla immediately responds, looking right at my eyes with a sad smile. "You're sixteen years old, and a human being." Her soft smile comforts me, and I keep listening to her. "Listen, I was really glad when you got assigned to me. I read your report, and I knew I would want to guide and teach you since that moment." She admits, with a serious expression in her eyes, but a kind smile in her lips. I know she really means it. "You have been alone your whole life. And when you found what you were looking for, you had to leave it." She looks down, and sighs. "I understand that better than you can imagine." She murmurs, before looking at me again. She holds my hand with strength, as if it was giving me the energy I needed. "As Jedi, we are told to not let ourselves be carried by emotions." She makes a pause, comfortably sitting closer to me and extending her arm to softly clean the tears in my cheeks. "I believe the best way to control our emotions and our feelings is to accept them and grow with those feelings. We cannot detach from our memories, but we can learn from them and be at peace with the emotions they bring us." She explains. "This is your new life. This is your new home, and your family." My heart jumps at the words home and family. These are things I have always wanted. Things my heart always felt it needed. I stare at her, as I accept the comfort of her presence. "But you have to find peace with the concepts of home and family first."

I nod slowly before wrapping my arms around Nyla. She embraces me and it feels comforting. There's a certain familiarity in the hug, and I know what Nyla mean. She is my Master, my teacher, my mentor, and the closest thing to family I will have here. And it does feel like that.

"Thank you for sharing everything, Nyla." I murmur as my head rests on her shoulder.

"Thank you too." She responds, and I feel her slightly moving her head. Maybe she is smiling. It does seem like something she would do. "You were really brave." I did feel brave while doing it. I am not used to trusting or sharing anything of myself with anyone. I learned to be alone. But I'm not alone, not anymore. I have the opportunity to belong to a different kind of family now.

"I won't let you down." I whisper, and I mean it. I would hate to disappoint Nyla, because in the short time we have known each other, she has guided me, protected me and understood me like no one ever has. "I promise."

"And if you do, that's alright." She replies as she pulls away. She looks into my eyes as I frown at her. I don't like to disappoint, and I don't think it would be alright. "You have to grow and learn by yourself too. You have to make mistakes, you have to learn your strengths and weaknesses." I listen to her, nodding but not fully understanding what she is trying to say. I don't want to make mistakes. "Don't focus on what I am going to feel, because as long as you grow and learn I will be proud of you."

Although I don't see it that way, I nod and smile at her. I think I can see where she is going with those words, but I am afraid I cannot feel like that right now. I can't forget on what people will think of my actions, not now. I can try, though. I will try.

"You, know, I am really glad you are my master, Nyla." I stare at Nyla with a soft and grateful smile. "Thank you, really." The wrinkles around her eyes show how grateful she is too, but she doesn't verbalize it. We don't need to verbalize anything now. We both just know.

✰

After a long week of training, I finally have some time to breathe. The lesson has changed our relationship as Master and Padawan. I really feel closer to her, and I even feel closer to myself. I have been thinking the whole week, meditating about the session. I had an idea, to start accepting things of my past that bring me too many emotions, but I am not sure if I should do it. I would tell Anakin about it, and he would definitely give me the final push to do it. However, I know it is something I have to do on my own.

I look out of one of the windows in the halls of the Jedi Temple, as the option wanders through my mind. My eyes lock on the reflection of the sun in the glass windows of the tall buildings of Coruscant. I close my eyes, and I decide to give it a try. Accept the memories, find a peace in my own mind. I walk away in the direction of the hangars.

When I reach the transport area, I search in a holopad for the available speeders at the moment, and a small and green XJ-1 airspeeder. I walk towards the sector where the airspeeder is located, and when I find it, I jump inside the pilot's seat. For a moment, I stare at the controls with confusion. I haven't driven a speeder in a while. When I actually leave the Temple, I leave either with Nyla or Anakin.

The last time I used a speeder by myself was when I took the speeder to Vasma's house a year and four months ago. But I still remember how to do it, I am just surprised about how fast time passes. I hadn't realized it had been that long without driving a speeder. However, that's the same amount of time I haven't smoked. Cigarettes were an easy way to calm down and relax, but in the Jedi I don't feel the need to smoke anymore.

As I start the speeder, I take a deep breath. I am doing this for myself, and I feel good about it. I do. Except I don't know that yet, it is just a reassuring method. I drive the speeder through the skylanes that are settled between the skyscrapers and the rest of the buildings. I deactivate the tracking system that all the speeders have at the Temple. The traffic at this hour is moderate, it is easy to fly through the skylanes, but there are short periods in which I have to slow down. After all, many people leave their jobs at this hour.

When I reach my destination, I park the speeder in a small alley. I know this place, and the best way to hide something in the Industrial Sector is in its many isolated alleys. The lower grounds of Coruscant are really abandoned, by the population and by the government. Nobody hangs out here, and stealing is not common here. You don't steal where people don't have anything, you steal in the Entertainment Sector. People who can afford entertainment have something that can be taken away from them. The Industrial Sector has its own rules, and one of them is to always remember who people are.

As I walk through the streets, with the keys of the airspeeder in my hand, my eyes look around the houses and the abandoned buildings. I grew up around these streets, when we were allowed to leave the orphanage. However, I didn't remember it like this, so forgotten by everyone. Nobody thinks about these people. Nobody used to think about me, until I became important because of what I was. Who I was, was unimportant. Nobody cared. And probably nobody still does.

I am a Jedi, that is what I am trying to become. Maybe this is what Nyla meant, or maybe is not this at all. There's a difference between who I am and what I am. I am going to accept who I am, and I'm going to start where I became that person.

My eyes settle on the building behind the metallic bars of the fence. The orphanage looks old, it seems to be abandoned. It doesn't have the sound of children it used to have. It looks like an old prison, but in a way in felt like that. We always managed to make it fun, when we were smaller. As we grew up, we realized we weren't happy. We weren't treated with love and care, ad we didn't know what that was. We didn't know what loving someone meant, what having a family felt like. I wish I could say my roommates felt like a family, but they didn't. We were just trying to survive, collaborating and working together. Many memories come to my mind at the sight of the simple and abandoned building.

I push the metallic door to walk into the front courtyard of the orphanage. The concrete floor is full of papers and some of the materials that used to be used for playing in our free time. As I walk around the courtyard, my eyes set on the broken windows of the building. I can't believe it changed so drastically in five years. It was never the warmest orphanage, it was a cold and distant place. An older woman walks through the street outside the orphanage.

"Excuse me." I ask from the distance, as I slowly walk towards her. She strangely looks at me, and I stay at a cautionary distance. "Are you from here? I was wondering what happened to the orphanage." Her eyes scan me before giving me a small smile.

"Oh, yes, it closed two years ago." The answer doesn't surprise me, as it is obviously abandoned. I want to know why it closed, what went wrong, what happened with the children... If I had stayed, it could have happened to me.

"What happened?" I inquire with a faint frown between my eyebrows. "Where did the children go?" I add, making sure I get the information I want. Her smile disappears as she shakes her head.

"Well, I heard that bastard director exceeded himself with one of the older girls." The woman responds disapprovingly. I am not surprised at the behavior of the director either. He was always a disgusting man, and I had had the luck of not being pretty enough. "The girl reported it and the orphanage closed. He was using the public funds for the orphanage for his self-interest, enslaving the children." Yeah, I know. I think for a moment. But then I realize the bastard paid for it, the things he had were taken away from him. The children were all that man possessed. Without us, he would have never been able to keep his factory running. "Those poor souls were sent to different orphanages around Coruscant and I heard some were even sent to families." I think about my roommates, and for second I feel happy for them, as images of them with families appear in my head. I hope that's how they are: happy and safe, with a family. "Are you a mother?" The question makes my eyes direct towards the woman, and I shake my head with a small smile.

"No, not a mother." I respond quickly. "Thank you." I turn around and leave the woman keep going.

I walk towards the front door of the crumbling building, and as I push it, there's a high pitched sound that reverbs in the halls inside. I look at the door, noticing that the metal in it has an orangish color. As I enter the building, I start to remember running around the halls to the small dining hall, or going to play the keypad. I walk further inside, and I glance into the common room. My fingers carefully walk around the door frame of the room, as pictures of myself reading in one of the brown couches appear in my mind.

Then I also remember the punishments for not working, or not wanting to work. How they would keep me from playing the keypad, how they would cut me off a lunch or a dinner, the many times I was hit to learn, and the extra hours at the factory. Of all of them, the one that hurt me the most was the idea of not being able to play the keypad. Playing it and singing were the only two things that gave me a sort of happiness, and when they took that away from me, it felt awful.

My eyes set on the old keypad, which now is also covered in dust. I walk into the room with the only purpose of cleaning it. The musical instrument deserves a better treatment. When my hands touch the wooden structure of the keypad, I smile softly. I walk in front of it, and one of my fingers presses one of the keys. The cords must be quite damaged, because the sound that reverbs in the room is ear piercing. However, for me, it is one of the sweetest sounds I have heard in a while.

As I sit down in the uncomfortable bench, my hands keep flowing through the keys, and the sounds keep getting softer to the ear. It was just out of shape. Just like me. It's been too long without playing the instrument. I hum a melody that accompanies the music that comes out of the keypad. I wished I had this at the Jedi Temple.

But I can't. This is what I have to accept, what I have to leave behind. Jedi don't own anything. Jedi can't let themselves go by their feelings, and music is pure feeling. It has always made me feel alive, it healed me, it made me reflect on my emotions. It helped me understand who I was. But I don't need to know who I am, not with the Jedi. I need to worry about being a better Jedi.

My fingers stop on top of the keys, before pressing them one more time. A soft progression sounds as my fingers press the keys gradually, from the lowest to the highest notes. I take my fingers away from the keys, before a nostalgic wave hits me. Nostalgia is just a trick your mind does to make you believe you want something back. But I don't. I am going to be a Jedi, and I won't let my feelings get in the way of the destiny I chose for myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next one shows Anakin’s perspective for the first time! I am really excited for you to read it. Thank you for reading!
> 
> Laura


	8. Style

[ _anakin_ ]

 **I** take in some air, as I sit cross-legged on the ground of one of the Temple's meditation rooms. After scolding me for a full hour, Obi-Wan recommended me to meditate. Although his recommendation wasn't what pushed me to meditate, it gave him the satisfaction of seeing me following his advice. A rare view for his eyes.

Truth is, I felt like I needed a break. Although I'm not the most dedicated towards the idea about meditation, I understand that it is beneficial. Sometimes. Other times it just makes me feel empty, and I don't like that feeling. Meditating, however, seemed like the best thing I could do at the moment. I need to calm down and find purpose, forget about anything that may interfere with my peace. At least that's how Obi-Wan puts it. The only peace I feel is when I'm Elara, and that's the reason for my meditation. Obi-Wan doesn't know. I haven't told him, because I know him. The way to solve this for him would be to stop collaborating with Elara and Nyla, and that's not what I want to do. I understand I must get over this on my own.

 _I need to meditate._ I tell myself, knowing my mind is drifting away again. In the last hour and a half, I've lost my concentration around seven times. I am no good at meditating, and I am also not used to it. I don't do it as much as she does. And my mind goes to her again.

Two years and two months have already passed since Elara joined the Jedi Order. Two years and two months since I found her around the streets of the Coruscant market. A young and fierce girl with great potential, who I have believed in since the moment she tried to walk away from me. She is pure fire, with a certain energy I don't think I'll ever understand. However, in that energy, I have seen the peace of calm waters. That peace I have never felt, the one I struggle so hard to find, and she hands it to me so easily. She is a wonder. The closest thing I'll ever feel to...

 _Stop_. I hear my own mental voice, shutting my eyes harder. Concentrate.

I am a Jedi Padawan. I shouldn't feel anything. At all. But it's hard, it is really hard. I try to keep all my emotions, all my feelings in a capsule in my chest. But once in a while, they pour back out, and I can't help it but feel so alone, so out of place. After those moments, I try meditating. And that's when I feel empty. Empty like never before. Not even in Tatooine, I had the love of my mother when things were tough. I had something. And here, I don't have anything. I'm alone.

I feel like I'm the only one who feels that way. Everyone is at peace here at the Temple. Except for one person. I know she's not at peace, because she is all the time doing things. If she's not training, she is reading. If she's not on a mission, she is practicing with her lightsaber. If she's not meditating, she's with me.

And it is not that she really needs to catch up with me. At the speed she is learning, she will catch up with me in a couple of years. She is already a very well accomplished Padawan. All the missions she has done with her master were successful, although she did have the advantage of not leaving Coruscant. Her training has been a constant and increasing success, being one of the most fast-learning Jedi the Temple has ever had. I think she is a natural talent, but it's also her constant hard work.

I always find myself encouraging her to keep going, even if I don't find that in myself, I tell her. And somehow, she inspires me to keep going, to keep trying. I have never felt anyone as close as I feel her.

"Fine. I'm stopping." I say out loud, opening my eyes slowly, as I cannot seem to concentrate today. Meditation, once again, has never been my strongest suit. And with her on my mind, it doesn't help. She told me that today she would be able to see me, and I can't get the idea out of my mind.

I stand up in the middle of the meditation room, and I take a deep breath. It has no use sometimes, meditating. It only leaves your emotions dancing around more freely than before sometimes. I walk out of the room, and I encounter a few Jedi Knights and Padawans on the way to the dormitories. However, as I walk by the door of the library, I feel a strange tug in the Force. As I stop, I look at it, and I can feel her force signature coming from the library.

 _Of course._ I comment mentally. Where else would she be? I slowly walk inside, as the silence of the immense and low-lighted room welcomes me. I can hear my own boots stepping on the ground, as the reverberations reach my ears. As I step closer to the center of the room, I feel her force signature closer and with much more intensity. I look around, and few people are here at the moment. Who would be studying at this time of the morning? I hear some soft voices coming from the eastern wing of the room, near the narrow and tall windows. I walk slowly towards the voices, combining it with the Force signature she is irradiating.

"Elara, you have to practice." I hear a female and soft voice say. It is meant to be a scold, in a way, but her own way of saying it softens it, and it sounds sweeter than a normal apprehension. I hear a sigh, and I keep walking towards the conversation, but slower.

"But I've already learned them and I've read about all of them." I hear her voice whining. She sounds annoyed, with a certain exhaustion towards the topic itself. "Even about Juyo." She adds, and I can almost see her raising an eyebrow.

"Alright..." The other voice murmurs. "First of all, reading is not enough. I want you to learn them all, you never know when they might come in handy." She speaks, trying to explain the reason of her insistence. There's a short silence, as Elara is probably thinking about it. She's maybe even considering admitting that her Master is right. But that's just a simple thought. She's too stubborn to admit that. "I want you to practice more. The best Jedi know what to use in every situation." The sweetness in her Master's voice comes back, with much more intensity and presence. "Second of all, you should forget about Juyo, that's a dangerous form, Elara." There's a hint of worry in the way she says it, but Elara completely changes the subject, letting that subject go.

"So, the fact that I'm already good at Makashi isn't enough, right?" She asks quietly, in a way, already giving in to her Master's instructions.

"It is a beautiful form, but you'll need more than beauty and understanding your enemy to defeat them." She speaks softly, understandingly. "And Makashi is only useful for lightsaber duels." I keep walking through a gallery of archives. "Forms III and IV are equally as important. Defense and offense are two basic things that you need to master." As I reach the end of the gallery, I turn my head to the right to find both women standing in front of each other. Nyla is looking at Elara with a comforting smile, but when her gaze locates me she raises her eyebrows. "Speaking about offense..."

"I didn't want to interrupt." I say, joining my hands behind my back. Elara turns around to face me and greets me with a delightful smile.

"Oh, no, it's fine." Her Master tells me before Elara can say anything. She then turns to look at her Padawan and puts her hands on her hips. "Actually, we were just speaking about the forms."

"Lightsaber training has been resisting me." I see Elara rolling her eyes, as she sits on the edge of one of the tables of the Jedi Archive. Then, her master glances at her and scoffs, shaking her head.

"No, you've been resisting to it." Nyla comments, raising her eyebrows.

"I've learned them all." Elara replies, trying to convince her Master. I remember having to train in all the Forms, understanding them and working on them. Obi Wan was really insistent, but he still is. "And I'm better at Form II than any other." I hear Elara say to her Master.

"I insist, your determination makes me incredibly happy, but working in Forms IV and V is equally as important." Nyla tries to explain to Elara, who just looks at her. "And I remember you enjoyed Form VI." Elara then turns her gaze towards some books that have been left on the table. She takes them and nods slightly.

"Yes, I did but..." She responds. "I want to advance Nyla, I don't want to get stuck in the Forms."

"Then train in them, practice them. Include them in your fighting." Nyla adds, with a nice smile. Her eyes then focus on the books in her arms, and then they look up at Elara's face again. "Anakin could even help you with some of them, Obi-Wan told me you dominated both Ataru and Shien, didn't you?" Her question catches me off guard. I frown at Nyla, before my eyes catch Elara turning to look at me. Every time I see her eyes, I am reminded of the sweetness that hides behind her mask.

"Yes, I do." I respond, trying to keep my eyes focused on Nyla.

"Would you do that, Anakin?" She asks me, with a small frown in her face. I stare at her for a couple of seconds. "Would you help me?" The way her voice sounded when she asked me, and how her mouth softly turned into a smile, completely take me away one more time. She said it gentler than maybe she had meant, but I am glad that I got to hear the softness of her voice. Before answering, I nod quickly, with a smile on my lips.

"Absolutely, yeah." I start to say, trying to seem completely composed. "It'd be great practice, for both of us." She smiles widely. That is the truth, I need to practice but I never have a good enough reason to do it. She's the best reason, though.

"Great!" Nyla exclaims, and she looks at Elara with a nice smile. "That way maybe you see it differently." She takes the books from Elara's hands, placing them on a table. "Now that you have something to do, you can leave your books." Elara looks at the table and sighs. "And train." Nyla adds as she places a hand on Elara's shoulder. Then, she starts to walk towards me. "Oh, don't let her do Form II, alright?"

"Of course not, Master Kelrian." I reply shaking my head and containing a smile. I think we both know Elara is not that easy to control. She will do the Form she wants.

"Oh please, Anakin, call me Nyla." She frowns at me and stops in front of me, putting her hands over her hips. "I'm not a Master." I strangely look at her, as I haven't had the chance to talk to her before. I had seen her around, with Elara or with Obi-Wan, but I had never spoken to her. I do know, from what Elara tells me, she's weirdly familiar and close to her. Elara is really glad about it and I can see why she feels so comfortable with her master.

"Alright... Nyla."

"Better." She starts to walk away, leaving me alone with Elara. "Have a good day!" Elara looks at her with a smile before turning to look at the books. She walks over to the table slowly. As I watch her, I also walk closer to her.

"Reading doesn't make better fighters." I comment, as I slowly reach the table. She looks up at me sighing.

"I get it, yeah..." She responds, taking the books in her hands. She looks around at the different aisles of the Jedi Archive. "But I already dominate Form II, I don't see the point in dominating the rest when I'm just not going to be better at them." She starts to walk through an aisle, and I follow her.

"Maybe you are, you never know." She glances at me over her shoulder, before facing the front again. "I am constantly switching from Form IV to Form V." I pause for a moment, as she leaves a book in its place. I stop in front of her, and she stares at me. "Plus as Nyla said, Form II is beautiful but its offense is not the best."

"It's not beautiful, it's deceptive." She replies, raising one of her eyebrows, ready to give me a lesson about Form II. I cross my arms over my chest, as a smirk appears in face. "It's about understanding your rival and weakening them. I'd rather break my opponent without actual physical offense." I follow her as she starts to walk again through a different aisle, looking around for the right place for the second book. "It's simple, yet quick and it confuses your enemies." Once she finds it, she places the book in its place. Only one more book to go. "Tell me that's not understanding and appreciating Makashi" I stare at her, and Makashi does sound like her form. But it is a form inclined towards dueling, which is not a common situation for a Jedi. Although I must admit, dueling abilities seem to be more important now everyday that passes.

"You can still learn to dominate other forms, though." I glance at the book she has, and by looking at the title and the aisle we find ourselves in, it must be around here too. I take the book from her hands and she raises her eyebrows. My eyes wander around the aisle, and as soon as I find the empty space for the book, I walk over there. I place the book and turn around to find Elara standing with her arms crossed over her chest, and an annoyed smile. I grin at the view, before I start to walk with the intention of leaving the Jedi Archive. "Come on, let's find a sparring room."

✰

"First things first, do you understand what Forms IV and V are about?" I ask her, as I walk in the middle of the white room. She rolls her eyes and stares at me, obviously offended by the question. I smirk and nod, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "Alright, then I'm sure you can explain them yourself, I bet you've read all about it." Her eyes roll one more time, and she sighs before giving me a small smile.

"Ataru is also called The Aggression Form, which is a name that embodies the whole concept of it." She starts speaking, and it sounds like she has learned about it by heart. "It focuses on the offensive side of lightsaber combating." She keeps explaining, and I raise one of my eyebrows. She definitely read about it. "Its effectiveness is very high, ensuring the victory to anyone who correctly keeps up with its speed and hits."

"Anything else?" I ask amused at the fact that she actually read about it.

"Defense movements are minimal." She adds, and know it is clear she is looking through her memorised information. "And it is recommended for its use on open spaces." I could joke about how much she reads, about not needing to study that much. But I shouldn't. This is practice. I simply have to contain myself, and take it seriously.

"Good." I simply respond. She seems slightly surprised at the fact that I'm not mocking her, as her eyebrows twitch for a second. I try to ignore it, and I smile slightly. She may have read about it, but I know this form. "If I may add something myself, it is a highly acrobatic form. That's why it is better in open spaces. You'll probably like it more than you think you will." I comment. She raises her eyebrows defiantly, before shrugging.  
"We'll see." She murmurs activating the lightsaber.

Her face lights up with the golden light of her lightsaber. She doesn't wait to strike, and I have to ignite my own lightsaber, to block her hit. As they collide, blue and golden sparks jump between our blades. This is the first time I duel with Elara. For a moment, I am unable to process any thought as the overwhelming feeling of dueling her overcomes me. A sudden rush of adrenaline pushes me to go for a hit, and she swiftly blocks it and twists her wrist, pushing forward and making me step back. Every offense I make, she responds with defensive and elegant aggression. It's obvious, by the look in her face, how much she enjoys a lightsaber duel. It is no surprise knowing she likes Form II, but her eyes are filled with enjoyment as the blades of our lightsabers collide. She is a true duelist.

"You're doing too elegantly, too controlled. You're basically doing a more aggressive Form II." I comment, as a I block one of her hits. Now I can see a hint of frustration in her eyes. She wants to defeat me, but she is controlling everything too much. She is over analyzing and overthinking the duel. Which wouldn't be rare in Form II, but that's not how Ataru works. "Try to just focus on defeating me. That's the only thing you should think about. Not understanding me or analysing how to defeat me, just doing it." Then, she jumps back, and keeps some distance. Now her eyes show her only goal, defeating me, and for a moment, I find myself lost in her dark eyes, in the euphoria of the moment.

Then she attacks me with great strength, and I block every single hit. Our bodies swiftly move, jump and, in my case, dodge the hits. She is insatiably swinging her lightsaber, almost leaving me no moment to make any offense myself. I have to simply defend myself from her endless chain of offenses. At one point, I am able to make an offence, but she is quick and a natural duelist. She jumps over me, landing behind. I cover my back with my lightsaber to block her hit, but she is able to twist her wrist and throw my lightsaber away from me. She extends her arm, putting the lightsaber over my shoulder. I see the blade a few inches away from my neck and I smirk, recovering from the euphoric sensation of dueling with her while she can not see my face. I know, however, that she cheated. She tricked me. She gave me an opportunity to offense so she could carry out a plan.

"You slightly cheated." I comment, before turning to look at her again as she takes her lightsaber away from my neck. She slightly smiles and shrugs.

"I thought switching forms was the normal thing to do." She comments walking away from me, so she can have some water. As I see her grabbing a bottle, I notice I should drink some water too.

"Alright, let's see then how is your Djem So." I tell her as I walk to pick my bottle. She takes a moment to drink before answering, while I open my own bottle.

"Shien practitioners mix the defensive style of Form III with an especial emphasis on attack." She finally speaks, closing her water bottle, but keeping it in her hands. I nod as I drink from my bottle.

"Yeah, Form III is useless by its own." I comment after finishing my water. "Defensive movements are important, but you need to know how to attack back." She nods slowly, paying careful attention to what I say. "Soresu is boring." I admit with a shrug as I close the bottle.

"Wow, isn't Obi-Wan offended by that?" She asks with a scoff, finally leaving her water bottle on the bench. I do too, with a smirk.

"He doesn't know." I reply before looking at her again. She seems to find it amusing, because the smile in her face grows faintly. I take a short breath, trying to stay concentrated. "What is the main difference between Ataru and Shien?" I ask raising one of my eyebrows.

"Oh... Ataru is acrobatic, and Shien is just... Pure strength." She simply responds, frowning slightly as she speaks. I nod slowly.

"Exactly." I add. "In Shien, you have to attack first. You have to use the unexpected on your favour."

"Oh," She lets out, looking at the water bottles. Then, her gaze turns to me with a special sparkle in her eyes. "Interesting." I can only see her intention behind her eyes when she is already taking her lightsaber, igniting it once again. I have to quickly react and raise my lightsaber defensively. "How's that?" She dares to ask before she focuses all her strength on her next hit. I would smirk, as I wasn't expecting that from her. The fact that she surprised me is something I enjoy.

However, now her orange lightsaber is striking against mine with strength and determination. She is strong, and she has her unbreakable iron will to defeat me. I know that alone is going to be a tie. I am good at Shien, but Elara is much better at dueling. This is her natural fighting ground, a duel where she can defeat one single person. If I want to win this and make this a challenge for her, I need to find a way to not fight alone. As I swing my lightsaber to block her attack, I use my strength to create an hard offense in my favour. She trips and steps back, and that gives me time to extend my hand and activate some Marksman-H training remotes. Seven metallic spheres start to rotate in the air around Elara, shooting at her.

Now she is overwhelmed, and she is trying to defend herself from the shots of the droids. I can see her weak spot now, and as she is defending herself from my own hits and the shots of the droids, she keeps jumping away from me. Her instincts are no longer screaming for defeat, they are running for survival. One of the droids shoots, and she is unable to defend herself from it. The shot crashes into her shoulder and she groans as she has to move her arm to defend herself from me. I can't stop now, because she would distract me and attack me. I know she would. My lightsaber strikes against hers, and she is starting to lose balance. There is a moment which she takes to breath as the last droid falls to the ground. With my own lightsaber, I swing the blade of hers and take it out of her hands, putting my lightsaber in front of her chest. She just looks at me, breathing heavily. When I put my lightsaber away, I realize how close we actually are, and how I am heavily breathing too. I had been too lost in her eyes to notice, and by the way they were staring at me, she seemed to be lost in the moment too. There's something incredibly alluring about fighting with her, something I cannot really put into words.

 _Be careful next time_. I comment, breaking away from my thoughts. Her soft eyes harden and she narrows her eyes at me, with a defiant smile in her lips.

 _I want a rematch_. Elara states in my head as she extends her hand, calling for her lightsaber with the Force. I feel a smirk slowly appearing in the edge of my lips, and I grab the hilt of my lightsaber, tilting my head slightly.

 _I'll gladly defeat you again_.


	9. Mission

[ _elara_ ]

Finally, after one year and four months of Padawan training, I am going on my first mission. However, Nyla didn't share the details of it with me. I am, at most, excited. After all this time of physical training and working on managing my feelings with Nyla, I feel ready to embark on a mission. Specially right now, I would really appreciate a form of detachment from my feelings, and I guess missions can be great ways of forgetting for a moment. You have an objective, a goal you have to achieve, and you can keep your mind focused in that final objective. I need it right now.

Last week, I had a strange argument with Anakin. I haven't been able to fully concentrate on my training since then. The fact that he is not speaking to me is bothering me greatly. I am so used to speaking to him everyday, even when he is on missions, we use our comm-links to check on each other. He is part of my life as a Jedi, and that's an undeniable fact. I had never noticed how much he means to me until now. But the truth is he has always been there for me, and now that he is attempting to stay away, I know how much I have assumed he was going to be there.

However, that's not the worst part, because I can feel him. We share this strange connection, and I can sense him. I try really hard to avoid feeling him, because he is avoiding me in the first place. I don't want to intrude or bother him. He is closing himself to me, and although I don't completely understand the motives behind his behavior, I'm not going to let myself be carried by my feelings. At least, not like he is. He is frustrated, I know he is. I don't need our connection for that.

_"You know, I was wondering the other day about how much I have improved since we practice together." I tell him with a small smile, as we sit in the immense window sills of the Temple. My eyes travel from the silhouette of the buildings towards Anakin, who is looking out of the window._

_"Yeah, you have." He nods, before his gaze sets on his hands. Then he slightly turns to look at me with a half-smile. "I really enjoy it. I train much more since we started dueling." He admits. I smile at him, a soft scoff leaving my lips as I do._

_"Oh, really?" I ask raising my eyebrows. "Am I that hard to defeat?" He seems to scoff too, but then he shakes his head and just stays silent. That is weird. I don't like the sensation I perceive from him. There's something wrong, I know there is. "How was the mission?" I ask him, looking away from him. Maybe he will tell me what's wrong._

_"Well, it was alright." He responds indifferently. I hate to see him like this. Then he glances at me, and I know he might have gotten a glimpse of what I was feeling, because he spoke again. "I almost lost my lightsaber again." He says, forcing a smile in his lips. "Obi-Wan got..."_

_"Oh, I can imagine." I chuckle as he shifts his body,and although he still sitting with his legs crossed, he is now facing me instead of the rest of the buildings of the planet. He looks down, and it seems like he is thinking. I know it would be easy to enter into his mind, know what's going on. But I have never done that and I don't plan on doing it._

_"Sometimes I feel like he doesn't understand me." There it is._

_"Why do you say that?" I ask as a frown appears in my face. He shrugs and rests his head on the column that separates our window sill with the next one._

_"Because it's the truth. I hate the way we have to pretend nothing is happening." I shift so I can sit closer to him. As I do, his gaze follows me. He is paying attention to me, and I think he wants me to help him._

_"It's our only job Anakin." I tell him with a small smile, putting my hand over his. "To forget about what we feel." His expression doesn't change and that worries me. However, it's the way his hand moves away from the window sill's surface that stings my heart._

_"You've changed."_

_"What?" I try to understand the situation. Did I do something wrong? I try to conceal any possibility of showing hurt. "What do you mean?"_

_"You used to be different..." He responds. As he takes a pause, he bitterly scoffs and looks out of the window. "You used to believe in different things. Even the way you speak has changed." I narrow my eyes and shake my head slightly._

_"That's because I am a Jedi. Or at least I am trying to be." I try to explain. He is not being sensible, he is not taking control of his thoughts and his feelings. Yes, I have changed. I am aware of my change, but he is saying it like it's something bad. "I am not the waitress of that club anymore."_

_"Sometimes I wish you were."_

_I have to contain myself to not yell at him. How does he dare to say that? He has no idea of who I am. I am a much better person now. Why does he say that? I take a breath and look at him. I am not going to let my emotions take control._

_"What's wrong with you, Anakin?" I ask calmly, trying to stay peaceful inside and out. He blankly looks at me before shaking his head._

_"Nothing." He simply says, before his face turns towards the city again. However, that's not like him. He is not the type of person that bites their tongue. And I'm not either, but I am trying despite his efforts to test me. He looks at me again, and I have to contain a smile. I know him too well. "Being a Jedi doesn't mean behaving like a robot. I cannot be like that, and I'll never be like that." The sense of victory over knowing him fades as a place in my heart suddenly burns._

_"Are you insinuating that I don't feel anything?" I inquire, raising one of my eyebrows seriously._

_"Do you?" He asks, narrowing his eyes at me. Eyes that show frustration, anger, disappointment and a hint of loneliness. "Do you care about anything that's not the Jedi?" He raises his voice slightly. "Do you care about anyone?" I honestly feel like exploding. My veins are on the edge of collapse from the rage running through them. My blood is boiling, and I feel it under my skin. Of course I care. I care. It hurts and angers me to have him accusing me of not caring. "You even forgot about your..." He pauses for a moment, and then he sighs, before looking at me with a heavy frown. "You have forgotten who you are."_

_I realize I am strongly furrowing my eyebrows and narrowing my eyes at him. I shake my head, taking some air as I look into his eyes. I know he partially regrets saying everything, but there's a part of him that needed to say it. If I wasn't a Jedi, if he wasn't a Jedi, I would probably cross his face with my hand. I would tell him how I still care, how I still feel, but I am working on it. I am managing it. No distractions._

_"Who I am is not what matters. It's the only thing that will stop me from becoming a better Jedi, Anakin." I speak without taking my eyes off his. He simply stares at me and nods slowly._

_"Of course." He lets out, glancing through the window one more time. "Well, have fun becoming a better Jedi alone." I watch him stand up from the window sill. I frown at the image of him leaving._

_"Anakin." I say in a normal volume. I think he can clearly hear me, but he is ignoring me. "Anakin!" I raise my voice, but still. He keeps going away, and he doesn't look back before he turns left and walks further into the Temple. My head replays the images of him walking away from me. They hurt in a very deep place of my heart. They hurt a lot._

I sigh as I grab the books from the table of the library. I can't read anymore, that's enough for today. I know I need my mind to rest before I go away on the mission. I am really excited for that, as I get the feeling that it is going to make me feel better. I walk through the aisles, leaving the books in their respective places. If Anakin was here, he would joke about my reading habits. But he is not here.

I leave the library, and I don't know what to do. When I am not training with Nyla, I am either in the library or spending time with Anakin. But it seems like today I can't do either. I walk through the great halls of the Temple, hoping to find something to do. As I walk through one of mezzanines located in the base of the Jedi Temple. There are always Jedi walking around peacefully, and my favorite part of the base is the amount of light that enters. The golden rays enter through the big windows, illuminating every inch of the base with orange colors. I absolutely adore walking through this part of the Temple.

At one point, my pace slows down as I see two figures walking together. Nyla and Obi-Wan are walking together, talking and I could even dare to say I saw both of them laughing. I have never seen Obi-Wan laugh before, but I guess that's what it looks like. I strangely frown at them, and they seem to see me too, because Obi-Wan's grin suddenly transforms into a polite smile. Both walk towards me, and my frown faintly fades.

"Hi Elara, what are you doing here?" Nyla asks as she walks in front of me, with a charming smile.

"I didn't know what to do so I was just wandering around," I reply shrugging, with a small smile in my lips. "Letting the Force guide me towards something." I add, in an attempt to improve my own mood. Nyla smiles at my comment.

"Then I would assume the Force wants you to join us." She replies. Her way of saying it lightens my heart, taking a weight I wouldn't have been able to take away on my own. "Do you mind if she joins us Obi-Wan?" She asks Obi-Wan, who shakes his head with his typical polite smile.

"Of course not, she's more than welcome." Ah, yes, Obi-Wan and his endless politeness. "Actually, there's something I'd like to discuss. Anakin has been acting strange this week, do you know if something is bothering him?" He asks, with a concerned frown in his forehead. "He doesn't seem to be keen on telling me what's going on it's him." I half smile and shrug.

"He has not spoken to me this week." I admit, and I see the frown in Obi-Wan's face. "He seems to be avoiding me." I further explain, but he is still confused and lost at the situation.

"And why is that?" He asks, raising his eyebrow with curiosity.

"We had a small argument." Obi-Wan doesn't reply, or at least not immediately. He takes his hand towards his growing beard and rests his chin on his fingers.

"I'll have a chat with him." He tells me with a small smile. "He shouldn't let his personal issues affect his training." Then, Nyla sighs with a half-smile Dewan in her face.

"Well, don't be so harsh on him, he is a teenager after all." Nyla says, and Obi-Wan looks at her. They probably have already had this conversation before. I knew they knew each other, but they seem to have a true connection between them. They must be really close. Obi-Wan faintly rolls his eyes.

"A teenager who happens to be the Chosen One." He comments.

"Still, that's enough pressure on the boy already." Nyla explains, and I listen. That's true. Anakin is under much more pressure than the normal Jedi would be. He doesn't like to think or talk about the prophecy. He hates the pressure, and he's got Obi-Wan. "If he has to put up with your strict views, the boy must need to breathe."

"It's quite funny you're saying that. Forgive me for saying this in front of your Padawan, but you give her too much freedom." Obi-Wan adds, with politeness, of course. Nyla gives him a look s she smiles.

"I don't." She tells him, putting her hands over her hips. "I give her what she needs to progress." I watch them argue as we walk through the orange tinted hallways of the Temple.

"Is this what you do all day?" I ask at one point, raising eyebrows at them. "Is that what my life will be one day? A competition of who is the best master?" Both look at me before they exchange amused glances.

"That's only because we get along really well." Nyla says with a delightful smile.

"Yeah, I see." I murmur.

"Despite our training methods, Obi-Wan is the closest thing to family I have ever had." Nyla speaks with honesty and as she does, I look down.

However, Obi-Wan doesn't respond. From the corner of my eye, I see how Obi-Wan's eyes are focused on Nyla, with the company one of his sweetest smiles. Then, he looks away, and I feel like I watched something I shouldn't have.

We keep walking for a while, in silence. It's nice and peaceful, but it still gives me space to think. My mind starts to fill with questions, all around the same person. I don't understand why is he making it so hard for me to be and behave like a Jedi. He is distracting me. And he is wrong, he is very wrong for thinking I don't care about anyone.

"Maybe you should go talk to Anakin" Obi-Wan suggests, almost as if he was reading my mind. I turn to look at him and shake my head.

"He won't speak to me." I respond. "And he is the one who is mad at me." Obi-Wan stays silent, and he seems to be thinking. Meanwhile, I feel Nyla's eyes on me.

"What was the argument about?" When she asks me, Obi-Wan turns to look at me too. I feel the pressure of both their stares on me.

"Well..." I start to speak. I can't really say what the conversation was about. It would put Anakin in a very delicate situation within the Jedi Order, and specially with Obi-Wan. He told me, not him. He is not ready to speak about that with Obi-Wan, and telling him the reality of the situation would make things worse between Anakin and me. And I have to prove him wrong. I do care. "It was about our dueling sessions." I lie, and it seems to be convincing because they no longer ask further. Nyla, however, stares at me.

"I agree with Obi-Wan," She starts to say, as we walk slower. "You should speak with him, and solve whatever is the problem." She says with a nice smile. I like her encouragement, but it is not me the one that has to apologize. "Those sessions are really productive for both of you."

 _I see_. I think to myself. Of course, I'm speaking with Jedi. This is the only reason why I should solve my problems with him. Peacemaking is for practical reasons. No matter how much I want to become a Jedi, there's something about that that feels incredibly wrong. I can't see Anakin only as a way to improve my own technique, or just as my duel companion. It would reduce his real meaning for me. It would be just as bad as reducing him to being the Chosen One. He is much more than that.

"I know, Master." I simply respond, lowering my head.

"If the solution to a problem is at your hand, you should take it." Nyla tells me, and I know she means well, but right now, I can't think in Jedi terms. I don't want to solve this in an impersonal way. Anakin deserves better than to be reduced. "I think it is a great opportunity to learn how to handle problems in a diplomatic and peaceful way."

"I'll think about it." I murmur before smiling at both Nyla and Obi-Wan. "I am going to rest, I'll need it for our mission." Nyla's eyes show concern, but Obi-Wan's presence and the situation itself keeps her from telling me what she is thinking.

"Fine." She says. "Rest well, we'll go through the mission tomorrow." I nod and bow before both of them.

When I am walking back towards the dormitories, I know he is around. I can feel him. I could, like Nyla said, go and speak with him. I could be practical and rational, but that would just mean Anakin was right. If I did that, I wouldn't care about anyone. And I care. I care about him. I am not going to reduce him like everyone else does. He is not the Chosen One for me, nor someone who just helps me improve. He my sense of familiarity in this place.

✰

I arrive at the hangar with Nyla by my side. I am equally excited and terrified, she leaves me for a second to speak with the droids that are preparing our ship. I look around the hangar as she starts to check the ship. I walk towards a table with a holopad in it, trying to learn out destination. However, it seems to be a very secret mission, because the droids are not aware of where we are going.

"Good morning, Elara" I hear a voice behind me, and as I turn to look at its source I find Obi-Wan and Anakin standing there. They seem to be ready to leave for a mission. I have seen Anakin leave before, and he looked exactly like this. With this clothes, and the same posture. My mind quickly starts connecting the dots.

"Good morning."

"May I ask where's your master?"

"She's over there, talking with the droids and checking the ship." I respond calmly, with my finger pointing towards Nyla's direction. Obi-Wan looks at her and nods, before turning to his Padawan.

"Remember what we spoke." He murmurs to Anakin, who simply nods obediently. I quickly look away, not really wanting to presence this.

"Of course, master." Anakin responds. I do not look at him, or at least, not straight away. I wait for him to say something, but he just steps closer, with both his hands behind his back. I glance at him, and he is staring at me with a serious frown in his face. I feel he is tense.

"I apologize for my behavior these days." He lets out, looking away a couple of times. He is nervous and tense, therefore unable to look at me. "It won't happen again."

 _That sounds an awful lot like Obi-Wan._ I tell him through that special link we have. That allows us to communicate. This is also a part of who he is for me; he is someone special. He is not like everybody else, not to me. _I would like to hear what you have to say._ I emphasize the sound of the word 'you'. I know this is not the Jedi way to solve it, but I have decided I won't reduce Anakin. He stares at me, with surprise and hesitation at first.

"I am sorry, Elara." He says out loud, his soft frown fading and getting replaced by two eyes filled with an apologetic sentiment.

 _I am sorry for the way I have treated you, but I was speaking my truth_. He continues, more privately; intimately. No one will have prove he spoke these words, that I am allowing him to tell me what he was feeling. Acknowledging emotions in the Jedi is almost as bad as feeling them. _You have to understand._

 _I know you were_. I respond with a soft smile. _I understand you._ Something in his eyes changes, and I see a spark of hope.

"I forgive you, Anakin." I speak with the smile on my lips. "We shouldn't let this situations get in the way." I continue, hoping he gets what I am doing. Then, the corner of his lip tilts upwards, before looking around the hangar. He gets it.

"Of course." He responds, giving me a faint and slow nod. "I won't let myself be carried away by feelings again." He glances at me one more time, and a beat passes between us. I like seeing him smile at me. "The dueling sessions are really productive." He really gets it.

"They are." I reply, containing the grin that is about to be displayed in my mouth.

"Anakin, Elara, come here!" We hear Nyla call us in the distance. I glance at her, finding my master moving her hand, inviting us to join them. When my gaze settles on Anakin, I find his intense stare on me.

 _We'll talk about this some other time._ I hear inside of my head, before he turns around and starts walking towards the ship we have been assigned. I slightly frown, before my feet start to move after him. When we reach the ship, Nyla and Obi-Wan are both waiting for us.

"The mission..." Obi-Wan reminds Nyla, crossing his arms over his chest. Nyla nods slowly and turns to look at me.

"When the Council assigned us this mission, they decided that we should be going with another Master and a Padawan." She explains, before pointing towards Obi-Wan and Anakin. "Obi-Wan and Anakin are a pair we both know, so they were their first choice." I simply nod and give her a small smile.

"That sounds reasonable."

"I hope you have solved your differences already." Obi-Wan comments, giving Anakin a look. Anakin looks at me and nods, without taking his eyes off me.

"We have." He responds as a small, quick smile appears in his lips.

"Great then," Nyla adds as she walks into the ship. "We're leaving in five minutes."

I glance at Anakin and Obi-Wan before stepping inside of the ship. My eyes inspect my surroundings, taking in the dark interior of the ship. There is a small lounge area, that is connected to the cockpit through a hallway. As I walk into the lounge, Anakin and Obi-Wan follow me.

"So, where are we going exactly?" Anakin asks, with curiosity. Obi-Wan looks at both of us before answering.

"We're going to Corellia" He simply responds. I look at Anakin frowning with confusion, and I can see in his face he is confused too.

"Has there been a problem with the trading? Any faction is causing some trouble?" Anakin asks in an attempt to obtain some more information about our mission. Obi-Wan shakes his head, adding a slight shrug.

"No, not that we know of."

"Then what's our mission?" I quickly inquire. I would like to know what my first mission outside of the planet is going to be. These types of missions are supposed to be your first real missions, because they are no longer under the safe atmosphere of Coruscant, which after all is a planet heavily protected by the Jedi Order.

"Master Yoda felt something, and we are going to investigate." Nyla informs, bursting in the lounge.

Anakin and I turn to look at her, with a mix of emotions we seem to be sharing for a brief moment, including worry, confusion and fear. Although, if Anakin has felt any fear, is most definitely a projection of my emotions. I quickly control that, and I slightly narrow my eyes at her.

"What do you mean?" I inquire, wanting to know more about the mission. Obi-Wan frowns at Nyla, almost disapprovingly.

"He felt darkness growing in Corellia." She tells me, ignoring Obi-Wan's look. "We have to keep our eyes open and be careful."

"Nyla, that's not wise." Obi-Wan comments as he shakes his head, which makes Nyla turns to look at him with her eyebrows raised.

"My Padawan deserves to know what we are facing" She replies as a defense. Nyla is not the kind of person that allows people to judge or criticize her decisions and choices. Especially in the teaching field, because I can see she is very protective over the way she teaches me. She believes in her teachings, and she is passionate about them. Sometimes her passion confuses me, taking into account we are Jedi.

"So, there's a high risk in this mission." I murmur, accepting the information.

"When were you planning on telling me, Obi-Wan?" Anakin asks, raising his eyebrows expecting Obi-Wan to answer.

"I was hoping I didn't have to." Obi-Wan shamelessly responds, sighting deeply. For a moment, I can see a flash of disappointment in a Anakin's face. "I think Master Yoda wasn't wise about this. Sending the both of us and our Padawans is insane." Now he gets Nyla's full attention, as she stares at him with both of her hands in her hips.

"He believes in their potential." She argues. "We're not doing this now, Obi-Wan" She adds before turning away from him, slightly sitting on the edge of a table. They have already discussed this, or argued. The later sounds more accurate as I pick the tension on the room.

"Of course we're not." He murmurs, still looking at Nyla. "At least we can discuss now the plan that we are going to follow."

"It was already discussed." She replies bitterly. "We are going to land in one of the stations, so we have to make sure we are undercover. No one can recognize us as Jedi. No lightsaber visible, no Jedi clothes." She explains, looking at Anakin and me. I nod slowly, making sure she knows I am listening. "That's what we have the clothes for." She points towards some clothes I hadn't noticed were placed on one of the couches. "Then, we'll go to the area Master Yoda indicated. We'll have to ask around. It is a different kind of mission, and Master Yoda trusted the four of us with it." She explains, glancing at Obi-Wan for a moment. I still don't get how these two get along sometimes when they have opposing views on everything. Their relationship feels like a never ending Senate reunion: always trying to prove the other you are more right than they are.

"Are the coordinates already set?" Obi-Wan asks, with his arms crossed over his chest in a very usual way for him.

"Yes, I took care of it already." Nyla responds with a sigh, standing up on her feet again. "We should leave now." She starts walking towards the cockpit, avoiding Obi-Wan's gaze. They have the weirdest relationship.

"I'll be your co-pilot." Anakin offers, only to be stopped by Obi-Wan, who shakes his head.

"No, it's alright Anakin, I'll go." He disappears from the room and Anakin quickly frowns and shrugs.

"Okay" He whispers, before looking around. He walks towards one of the couches and sits there, giving me some time to settle the situation inside of my mind, and probably giving himself space too.

It's my first real mission. It couldn't be a simple mission, with a small group of separatist droids, no. It has the involvement of dark side users. I understand I am well trained for lightsaber duels, but I don't know if I will be good in my first mission. I am slightly terrified, and partly excited. It is a strange feeling.

When I look at the ground, I realize we are already flying. I walk towards a thick glass panel. This is the first time I ever leave Coruscant for a mission, and I'm going to an important planet. Corellia is between the Deep Core and the Colonies, so it's located in the Core Worlds. It's not that far away, it won't be a long journey, but still, I get to travel, I get to see a part of the Galaxy that isn't Coruscant. When I was a child, that used to be a fantasy, and now it is real.

"How are you?" I hear Anakin's voice ask. I turn to look at him, and I nod with a small smile.

"Nervous." I admit, nervously. "I have only left the planet once."

"I know." He replies with an almost invisible smile. It is a small smile, but it is there, and I feel much better after seeing it.

"And it is my first off-planet mission."

"I know." He nods.

 _It will be fine._ He assures, more privately. I stare at him, knowing he really means it. I nod and smile again, raising my eyebrows.

 _At least we're doing it together._ I reply, and he chuckles softly. I can't believe this is the first time I get to see him laughing and smiling this week. For a moment, I feel stupid I even let that happen.

"If we have to duel someone at least we are prepared." He comments, before he starts looking through the clothes. I chuckle and nod, before I look through the glass panel again.

I stare at how we leave Coruscant, watching how the tall buildings and busy air-roads get smaller and smaller. Everything looks minuscule from up here. I analyze everything and see how big, for example, the Senate Building is, but at this height its size becomes insignificant. I sit down next to the window when we start to leave the atmosphere and gaze at the space. My eyes set on the deep black mass that the space is, admiring the glittering white lights that accompany the never-ending darkness. It's the most beautiful view I've ever seen. I smile with amazement, hoping that I could keep this moment forever.

✰

The streets on the area that Master Yoda indicated are not as busy as I would have thought, at least in comparison to the district in which we landed. These streets seem to be desolate, with only smaller merchants and few kids walking around. Anakin is walking by my side, as we follow Nyla and Obi-Wan. We had to change on the ship, in order to not catch the attention of anyone.

There is a group of kids playing in the streets with what seems to be an eroded ball. They seem to be wearing old clothes, due to the amount of dirt that is visible on them. However, the kids themselves are filled with dirt, as the small particles of sand and gravel lay on their cheeks. They must be around eight or nine years old, and I can just imagine their lives. Corellia is not a planet I would describe as safe for orphan children. I am not glad I was born in Coruscant, but at least I had a place to stay. Corellia is not as invested in their social reforms and laws. If Coruscant, in its position of capital planet, is one of the planets in which the social sphere is in constant legal and political transformation and it still faces many social problems, you can just imagine the situation in Corellia.

 _These kids look homeless_. I hear Anakin's voice in my mind. It seems we are both thinking about the situation here. I turn and our gazes meet.

It is strange to look at him now after the things he told me, after I thought about what happened. I can't help but see in his eyes how he feels sorry for behaving like he did, for avoiding me. Because I know he cares about me, and he doesn't want to care about someone who doesn't care back. And I know my eyes must show everything I have been thinking about. I know he sees it, because I can't change the way my eyes look at him differently now.

 _Yes, they do._ I respond, coming back to reality, as if my mind hadn't been thinking about the moment. I don't look away from him, after not seeing him for a week, I want to see him. However, he looks away, his gaze diverting towards the children. I frown at him slightly, wondering what is going on in his mind. Then, he looks at me again, and something clicks in my mind.

 _The children may know something_. If there's something strange going on around here, they will know. Homeless kids have to survive on their own, hiding and making their way as small people in a big society, filled with vicious snakes. When I was in the orphanage, I used to know everything about the area we lived in. I was small, unimportant, innocent; if any valuable information fell into my hands, nobody would care. Nobody cares when you are a child without a family, without a home.

 _They will know._ I know he had been wondering about that, but I can see his doubts in his face. If there's something going on they will know. His eyes stare at me for a second, before nodding. We stop following Obi-Wan and Nyla, and we start approaching the kids. They stop playing when we are close enough. One of them picks the ball, and the rest stare at us.

"Hello, we were wondering if you could help us." I tell the kids with a small smile on my face.

"We don't know you." One little girl says, frowning at me with a hint of anger. However, the kid with the ball protectively puts a hand on her shoulder, before walking before her. He seems older than the rest of the kid. I would guess he is around twelve or thirteen years old.

"It's alright." The older kid tells the girl, not looking away from Anakin and I. He is inspecting us thoroughly. "What do you want?"

 _What are we looking for?_ I ask Anakin, without taking my eyes away from the kid. I see Anakin glancing at me from the corner of my eye.

 _I don't know._ That's the bad thing of being just Padawans, we are not supposed to know everything about the mission, even though the success of it may still depend on us. _Something_ _strange_. I swallow before I look at Anakin, deciding to take a risk as my mind quickly thinks.

The only information we have is " _a growing darkness_ " that Master Yoda felt. If he felt it through the Force, we are looking for someone. Specifically, a Force-sensitive someone. Dark and Force-sensitive someone. The skin behind my neck feels a sudden and quick, cold breeze running down every inch as flashes of what we could be facing appear in my head.

"We were looking for someone." I respond quickly, turning to look at the kid again. "Have you seen anyone do anything strange around here?" The kid then stares at my clothes, before looking into my eyes. He is clearly sending me a message with that. We are strange for them. Funny kid.

"Strange like what?" He asks, narrowing his eyes.

"Like someone who feels... Bad." I start to say, making it up as I speak. "Someone you don't feel is good." The boy is still confused, and he doesn't seem to be getting what I mean. I feel Anakin is starting to lose his patience. "Maybe they have something like this." I move my clothes slightly, showing a lightsaber hidden below the long jacket I am wearing. He glances at it, and his eyes change for a second.

"I'm sorry, we can't help you." He responds, shaking his head. I frown at him, hiding my lightsaber again. I feel Anakin's patience is on the edge.

"But you know something." He says, narrowing his eyes slightly. The kid doesn't respond and all of them start to leave, following the older one. I glance at Anakin quickly, and I notice he doesn't know what to do to get them to talk.

"Wait." I exclaim, stepping forward towards the kids. The older kid turns around. "What do you want in exchange for information?" He doesn't reply, not right away, I see a hint of need in his eyes. I know what it is to be offered anything when you're in need. You feel validated, you feel like you finally exist in other people's eyes.

"I don't know anything." He finally replies, with a sad look in his eyes and shaking his head. "Sorry."

 _I think we have found something_. I tell him seriously, and he nods. I don't know if we are in advance or I have just ruined our mission by showing my lightsaber. Anakin however, seems to not be bothered by that. He probably would have done the same. _These kids are not telling us because of something else. They may be hired or..._

 _Threatened_. I stare at him with a frown. I hope that is not the situation. However, these kids are in a vulnerable situation. Anyone can take advantage of that, and suddenly I feel so grateful for growing up in that orphanage. We hear a sound that resonates through the streets. It is a loud metallic bang, and both Anakin and I look in that direction.

Anakin rushes in direction of the sound, as there is no sight of Obi-Wan or Nyla around. I run after him, but when we reach the small alley from where the sound came from, we find no one there. Whoever was here ran away as soon as they made the sound. I know Anakin and I are in danger, but I don't know how or to what extent.

"We should find Obi-Wan and Nyla." He tells me, and I turn to look at him. He is looking at me with caution.

"Yeah, we should." I reply, nodding slowly.

 _That noise was definitely them_. I hear his voice in my head.

_What do we do now?_

_We find the kids again, it is our best chance._ He tells me, before my eyes look around. I slightly nod. _For now, let's just get out of here._

As we arrive back to the place where the kids were, we step through the place where they left. We follow the trail of footsteps the kids left behind on the soil, cautiously looking around as we walk through the streets. Corellia really needs to invest in its underworld structures, but just as Coruscant should.

Anakin takes my hand before pulling me into an apparently abandoned building. I frown slightly as my other hand lands on top of my lightsaber, inspecting the building as we keep following the footsteps on the dust. For a moment, I think we have lost track of the kids, that this place is completely abandoned, or maybe it is a shared thought with Anakin. However, we both hear a voice for a moment, one that makes our eyes meet in suspicion, looking for support.

We grab our lightsabers, without activating them. Anakin walks through a narrow and dark hallway, towards a more lighted side of the building. As we get closer to the area, the voices can be heard clearer and louder. I distinct a variety of male voices, grave and deep, that reverb through the hallway. When Anakin stops, I have to abruptly stop too. I almost fall, but he grabs my arm, making sure I don't lose my balance and he stares at me with a finger over his lip. This is not new for him, and he brings me a feeling of safety and comfort, even now.

"Koroban, are you sure about this?" A voice asks, with clear worry and certainty. "Attempting an attack on both at the same time... Is that wise?" I slowly step back and lean against the wall, as Anakin and I both listen carefully to the conversation. An attack: they are planning an attack.

 _Caine Koroban._ I hear Anakin's voice inside of my head, and I glance at him. _Mace Windu has spoken about him various times, he is a crime lord here. He is mostly trading weapons._ We have the sinner, we just need to learn the rest of the sin.

"You saw the message. They are sending me an ultimatum." Another voice, much graver than the other responds. Who is he talking about? "Taking out the competition and the government at the same time will grant me the control of Corellia, and that's what they are asking for. If we make sure no one is there to take my place when the throne is empty, I will claim it." He speaks with triumph showing in every word he speaks. He speaks like he has already won, when the battle hasn't even started yet. "They want a powerful ally, and I want the power"

A planned attack on the local government and the other traders would, indeed, give him the power he needs. But who is he working for? Who is interested on having him as a local leader? Anakin looks at me, and I know we should think about something, but I can't. Maybe I am not made for this. I look at the ground as I keep focusing on the conversation.

"Whatever you say, Koroban." The other voice replies. "We might have to act quickly though, we have found two Jedi roaming around." The man's words are a warning to my ears, and my instinct tells me to run away, unable to find any other way to solve this. They have Obi-Wan and Nyla, and I can't do anything about it.

_Anakin, we should leave._

_We can't, we have to save them._ Anakin responds almost immediately.

"Jedi?" Koroban asks, with a hint of surprise in his voice. "Do you think there will be more?" I look at Anakin, with my eyes widened, waiting for him to tell me we are leaving. It is what we should do, there's no other thing to do this now. We need time to plan.

"The children..." The other man starts to say. That seems to be what makes Anakin's instinct decided it is time to leave. He gives me a quick nod, and I turn around to start leaving. "They told me that they saw other two Jedi, much younger." I walk through the hallway rushed, my feet quickly and quietly stepping on the ground. I try to go as fast as I can, without doing too much noise. "A boy and a girl." But it doesn't work out, because suddenly I hit a metallic bar with my feet. The metallic and high sound echoes across the building. I close my eyes as I hear Koroban's voice.

"Then, we should welcome our guests appropriately." I can hear the smirk that forms in his face, a face I can't form in my head. An unrecognizable face I already feel anger towards.

"Fuck..." I murmur, glancing quickly at Anakin, who simply shakes his head.

"Run, just-" He lets out. "Run." I don't wait for any second more, and I start moving my legs towards the entrance we found. I hear two explosions behind me, and when I turn back, I don't only see Anakin running behind me, I also get a glance of three red lightsabers. I curse under my breath and Anakin turns back too, he activates his lightsaber. I am about to activate my lightsaber, when a cloud of green smoke emerges from a sudden explosion. "Elara, run!"

"I won't leave you here, Anakin."

"Don't worry about me, just run away!" He exclaims, and I get a glimpse of the red lightsabers through the green smoke. I step back, and I rush towards an exit. I hear the sound of lightsabers colliding with each other, but they gradually fade until I can't hear anything. I find the way out of the building, and I realize the world around me is hard to focus.

The sunlight is no longer illuminating Corellia, orange and pink shades cover the buildings around me, as lights start to be turned on. This was my first mission, and I failed. They have my master, they have my friend's master... And I don't know where my friend is. I am lost in a planet I don't know, unable to track anything around me. Everything is being slightly and slowly shaken, and I am not able to keep myself balanced. I stumble through the warm lighted streets, as my eyes start to blur everything they see. Small lights turn into round orbs, and very sound fades, leaving a distant whistling sound behind.

 _I am not made for this._ It's the last thing I can think before everything turns black.

✰

I slightly open my eyes as I am dropped in a cold surface. I feel my hands are behind my back, and there's a restricting force keeping my feet together. I hear a metallic door being slammed, the strong sound reverberating around wherever it is I am. I slowly raise my head, looking around the dark environment where I find myself.

"Marvelous" I hear a familiar male voice murmuring. "What are we going to do now?" My eyes identify three figures in front of me. I am apart from the group. As my eyes adjust, I see a bearded man, a brunette lady and a young boy. Oh, but I am a part of this group.

"We'll think of something, now we are all together." The person I recognize as Nyla says. I see Obi-Wan's eyes are focused on Anakin, and Anakin is looking at me, with confusion. "Elara, are you alright?"

"No." I respond, shaking my head and wanting to rest it somewhere. Whatever they used to drug me, my head weights three times more than it usually does, and my body seems weaker. "I... They... They drugged me, the fuckers..."

"Watch your language, Elara." Obi-Wan comments, giving me a reprehensive look. I narrow my eyes at him.

"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, but waking up in a cell and..." I speak as I figure out in my mind where I am. If I could, I would cover my face with my hands. "Shit."

"Exactly." Anakin comments in a murmur that reverbs through the whole cell.

"Can we stop? We need to find a way to get out." Nyla asks, with one of her eyebrows raised. "Elara, we can use one of your pins for the handcuffs." I frown for a quick moment, but then I realize I styled my hair in a braided bun, therefore I am wearing at least two pins to hold my hair together.

"Oh... Right..." I murmur. I try to reach my hair myself. Despite of my flexibility, I find it impossible to reach high enough to dismantle my hairstyle. "I can't reach, I'll go where you are and you can take a pin from my head." I tell her, and she nods.

I place my elbows on the cold ground, as I start crawling backwards towards her position. The ground is filled with cold water ponds that send chills through my body. When I reach Nyla, I lower my head so she can get a pin from my head. It is not a comfortable position, and it is not easy to hold either, taking into account the fact that I was drugged just some minutes ago. I feel Nyla's hand trying to reach my hair.

"You have to lower your head a bit more." She tells me, and I take a deep breath before doing so. When I do, I feel her fingers wandering through my hair, looking for a pin and dismantling the hairstyle I had done.

"This is not how I pictured my first out-of-planet mission..." I comment, concentrating on maintain my position. My muscles are starting to feel the tension of the moment, probably still affected by the venom they decided to attack me with.

"I have it." Nyla quickly says. I feel like dropping my body to the floor, but I can't. Instead, I use my strength to sit up and I push myself closer to Nyla, so she can open my handcuffs. As she does I feel half of my hair falling on my shoulders, which is not going to be beneficial if we have to fight.

When I break free from the handcuffs, which were definitely force-concealing, I turn around to open her handcuffs. Once Nyla is free too, we proceed to untie the robes in our feet. I am about to walk towards Anakin, but we hear some steps down the hall where the cell is located. I have to walk back to my place, hiding my hands behind my back and my feet under my thighs.

The door is opened by a guard, and who steps into the cell. He looks around, checking that we are in our places. When he walks back to the door, Nyla stands up and she walks behind him with caution. She quickly puts her left forearm against his throat as she covers his mouth with her right hand. With her left foot, she inmobilises him. As the door is about to close, I glance at how Anakin places his foot between the door and the frame. The man is no longer conscious as Nyla leaves him on the ground. Now we have a way out of the cell.

As Nyla rushes to unlock Obi-Wan's handcuffs, I go to help Anakin. I take another pin from my hair, letting the rest of the hair fall down over my shoulders.

"Just so you know, they drugged both of us..." He speaks as I open his handcuffs. There's a click that frees both of his hands, which disappear from his back to untie the rope around his ankles. "That bomb, it was full of poisonous toxins..." He continues, before turning his face slightly to look at me.

"Are you okay?" I ask, frowning at him with worry. Of course he was drugged, it was the bomb that drugged us. I remember the green smoke filling the dark hall before I ran away. "I am sorry I left you behind-"

"It really isn't the time for that. Now we have to find the control room where Koroban is controlling the explosives." Nyla says as she is already standing up next to the door, holding it so it doesn't get closed.

"We can do that." Anakin offers.

"Yeah." I agree, nodding at him.

"And we'll need our lightsabers to face Koroban and his guards." Nyla points out, as she narrows her eyes towards Obi-Wan, looking for his assistance. Obi-Wan seems to quickly think and he nods.

"Alright, so Nyla, I will go to find the lightsabers." Obi-Wan speaks as he looks at Nyla, who listens to him attentively. "And you three stop those explosions from happening." The three of us nod. "We'll meet in the elevators, and then we'll find Koroban together."

"I like it." Nyla says as a small smile appears in her face. "Let's go."

We leave the room cautiously, and as Obi-Wan's path diverges, Nyla, Anakin and me walk through the halls with wariness, following our instincts until we find a lead towards the control room. When we are about the cross paths with Koroban's men, we hide and successfully avoid all the patrols we encounter.

Without our lightsabers or any kind of blaster. Not that I am an expert on blasters, but it would be something else than to just simply have to fight with your bare hands. However, now I know I should learn more about it.

Once we reach the hallway of the control room, we hide behind a wide column, watching how many men are there guarding it. There are four. Could we handle them? Weaponless?

"What do we do now?" I ask looking at Anakin and Nyla. A moment passes as Anakin and I stare at Nyla, who watches the guards with a frown. We have to follow their plan, after all we are just Padawans and we already separated from our Masters before, look where that got us.

"You stay here," She orders, standing up. "When everything's clear, get into the control room, okay?" We nod slowly at Nyla.

Nyla leaves our column and she approaches the men, walking slowly towards them, looking around confused. The guards stare at her in confusion, raising their blasters at her.

"Oh, sorry, I got lost" Nyla says, starting to walk backwards.

"She's one of the Jedi!" One shouts, which forces Nyla to use the force to throw them away from the control room door. She leaves through another corridor, and only two men are able to stand up and follow her. The other two seem to be unconscious. I glance at the hallway, with an amused smile.

"It's all clear" I say, before Anakin grabs my hand and we rush to the control room. The door is locked, and we need keys to open it. My gaze focuses on the men who are laying on the floor, unconscious. Anakin notices I am looking at them and I rush towards their motionless bodies. I go through their jackets trying to find a key, and I find a card. I smile at it before grabbing their blasters.

"Do you know how to shoot?" Anakin asks me, raising his eyebrows with amusement as I approach him, throwing a blaster he catches in his hands. I look at him and roll my eyes.

"It can't be that difficult" I comment, showing him the card I found in one of the guards' jacket. He takes it and I smile. "Plus, I have the Force." He contains a smile and looks at the ground. He approaches the digital pad next to the door. Before opening the door, he glances at me, warning me to be ready with his eyes. Then, his hand passes the card near the pad, making the doors rapidly slide.

To my surprise, there are no human beings in the room, but rather a small group of robots. However, when the doors open, their attention is directed towards us. I have to get cover behind one of the sides of the door, as they start to shoot at us. I manage to shoot at three of them, and Anakin takes care of the rest. Three is already a record, taking into account it is the first time I hold a blaster.

When all the droids are laying on the ground, unable to restart their systems, we walk into the control room. I look around the holograms, seeing many places around Corellia, many buildings, many different living beings walking those buildings. Anakin closes the door, before leaving his blaster on a chair. He starts pressing some buttons, and I stare at him as he does.

"How do you know which buttons are you pushing?" I curiously ask.

"It's common sense." He explains, without taking his gaze away of the controls and the images shown in the holograms. "But I have always been good with technology."

"Oh, yeah, you did tell me you built a droid..." He turns to look at me, with a hint of surprise and something else, something I am unable to read in his eyes. What I can feel, is his surprise at the fact that I remember him telling me such a tiny detail of his past. Then, his attention goes back to the buttons. "I would never be able to do that..."

"You would if you had nothing better to do." He comments, and I stare at him as he manages the different panels, looking at the holograms of the different places. There are slight changes in the holograms, like letter changing and numbers being erased.

"Is it done?"

"Almost, wait." Anakin responds, with a frown as he looks at the images, glancing from time to time to the control panels. The screens shut down, and so does the whole system of control panels. "Now." He tells me, visibly proud of himself.

"Now we have to find Obi-Wan and Nyla" As soon as the words leave my mouth, the doors suddenly slide open and Obi-Wan and Nyla are behind the arc with our lightsabers.

"Well, seems like they found us first" He corrects, with a smirk. They throw us our lightsabers.

"Let's go, we have a bunch of darksiders to fight."

When we are walking towards Koroban's position, following his vital signature. When we are about to reach the room he is in, Obi-Wan stops abruptly in the hallway, as his signature is blurred with other three, much darker and heavier. Nyla looks at me, giving me an encouraging nod. Obi-Wan motions his hand so we walk into the room, but before we do, Anakin looks at me and smiles.

We can do it. He tells me, reassuringly. I nervously smile back and nod, grabbing the hilt of my lightsaber with strength.

As we walk in a round room, surrounded with glass panels that allow the azure and rose skies to light the room slightly, we find three figures dressed in dark clothes, with masks that cover their lower face. We stand near the door for a moment, waiting for them to attack first, but Anakin doesn't seem to have patience for this. He ignites his lightsaber. The three dark figures light their crimson lightsabers, and they rush towards us. There seems to be one who is focused on me, and in his eyes I can see his arrogance, his smirk, his underestimation of my abilities.

I ignite my golden lightsaber, blocking his hit. Anakin always says I'm good at dueling, because I use Form II, but also because I have an ability to read people easily. I concentrate on reading him, on looking for his weaknesses; looking for his strengths. He is filled with rage, and the exaltation of his ego is his most powerful strength. However, his inability to see past that self-induced idea of superiority is his greatest weakness. It is of no use to be a blind god.

I decide to defend myself, let him have a few strong hits. I'm going to let him underestimate me, for a while. When his breathing starts to become heavier, I twist my wrist in a block, forcing him to step back and I start to swiftly move my lightsaber trying to dismantle his belief system with every attack, every clashing and buzzing sound of the lightsaber.

He's mad, and I'm the one smirking now. The fighting continues until he is disarmed, his lightsaber dropping to the ground. I get the chance to kick him in his stomach, and he falls to the ground. I extend my arm, placing my lightsaber in front of his face. The arrogant man who started fighting me is now replaced by a man who stares at me with revenge, and anger. He then extends his hand, in an attempt to push away my lightsaber, but I pull against the force he is exerting on my lightsaber.

Somehow, in a fleeting moment, my lightsaber enters his ribcage, and his eyes widen with a quick rush of pain. I feel my eyes widening too, drying at the impression of the image. He is unable to breathe, and so am I. In his case, it makes sense, I perforated his lungs. I, however, feel the heavy burden of watching the life fade away from his arrogant eyes. As his arrogance fades away, so does his life. What was moments away filled with rage, is now empty. I took the man's life. He's dead.

Sometimes I used to wonder about how horrible and terrible someone could be to kill another being. I asked myself: How can someone do it? What goes through the person's mind? Do they instantly regret it? Do they enjoy it? And now I have the answers, and they're even more confusing. I don't know how can someone do this, I don't understand how it happened. Nothing went through my mind, I was just... Fighting him. Yes, I instantly regretted it, when I saw his lifeless eyes. You definitely can't enjoy something like this. I enjoy fighting, dueling, but I don't enjoy this. I don't enjoy taking a life I hadn't meant to take.

"Elara," A soft voice calls me, as a hand lands on my shoulder. I turn slowly to look at the source of the voice, and Nyla is there with a small smile. Her smile tells me she knows, that she will speak about this with me. One day, in a different situation, and when we're engaged in a conversation. But not now. She puts her hand on top of mine, making me lower my lightsaber and putting it on my belt. "It's fine, you did a great job, alright?"

"Have we finished already?" I am surprised at the softness in my own voice. I feel like crying, like letting things out. But I can't.

"Yes, we're arresting Koroban and taking him to Coruscant." She responds, with a soft smile and pointing towards Anakin and Obi-Wan, who are handcuffing Koroban. My eyes can't help it but notice the body of another darksider lying on the floor, while other is wearing handcuffs too. When I look at Nyla again, she puts a hand behind my back. "We're going back to our Temple." Her words bring unexpected and faint warmth, specially the subtle addition of calling it our Temple.

✰

I sit down in a dark couch, with my legs crossed on top of said couch. I am playing with some marbles I found around the ship. I drop them on the table and make them levitate as I lay my head on the table. My eyes focus of the marbles, even as I let them drop again. I repeat the process six times, and leave them floating for around a minute. It keeps my mind distracted. I then throw them against the wall with frustration, probably breaking some of them as faint cracks are heard in the room.

"What have they done to you?" I turn my head towards the door to find Anakin leaning against the frame of the door, clearly enjoying the situation. I shrug indifferently, without enough energy to joke around. He must seem to notice, because I feel his warm presence wrapped around my own. It makes me feel instantly better. He always does.

He walks further into the room, looking at me with worry. Then, he sits beside me, keeping me company and warming my heart with his simple presence in the room. He knows how our rare connection can affect us both. I know he is waiting for me to talk about what happened, about how I feel. Because he cares about me, and he wants to be through things with me. And I think I want him there too.

"I feel terrible" I mumble looking at the ground, with honesty. He stares at me, listening carefully to my words, and somehow, shielding me from the overwhelming feeling of speaking about the mission. "I think about everything that has happened in the mission and... And I feel dumb, and pathetic and... Horrible."

"Don't say things like that, Elara." He tells me, shaking his head with one of the most serious looks I have ever seen in his usually gentle face.

"I failed you and I failed both of our masters. We got caught, I didn't know how to handle it." I respond, with a sad frown. I remember even questioning my presence in the mission before everything turned dark.

"You can't carry all the responsibility yourself, we were supposed to be a team." He recalls, putting his hand on my shoulder as we sit in the couch, facing each other. But my eyes simply look down. "And it was your first mission, nobody was expecting you to behave like a lifetime experienced Jedi." I need to tell him about what I am thinking, about the emptiness I saw in the man's eyes, about how I feel the guilt of my lightsaber piercing his chest.

"Anakin, I killed that man." I finally let out, unable to look anywhere else that are not my hands. "I didn't mean to, I didn't want to.... But I did." I take a deep breath, and Anakin's hand on my shoulder turns into a larger but comforting touch. I look up, to find he is sitting much closer to me now. His eyes seem bright and sad, a feeling that might arise from my own. "It feels awful to know that it was my fault, and I didn't mean to do it..." I murmur softly, and if the room wasn't quiet, Anakin could have missed it. In my eyes I can see he is sharing my anguish, as sorrow clouds his blue eyes. His thumb caresses my cheek, washing away with a delicate and soft touch the water that emanated from my eyes.

"Obi-Wan once told me death is too many times present in the life of a Jedi, and we must think about the lives we take, without losing ourselves in them." He speaks, staring into my eyes. "He told me to reflect on the lives I took whenever I had to take one, on why I had done it and who they were." I take a short breath, because he has been through this before. He has killed, and so had Obi-Wan, and probably, so has Nyla. But I should do that. This man was a man that was allowing the death of thousands to take place in favour of the personal greed of a crime lord and the separatist cause. And I was defending myself. He would have killed me. He would have. "You shouldn't carry the burden of all the death you'll witness and, even be responsible for." I sniff, and nod faintly.

I stare at him, dedicating him a soft and small smile, one that emerges from the deepest place of my heart just for him. After what happened earlier this week, after what we went through today... I just need a hug, from him. I slowly get closer to him and wrap my arms around him, feeling his muscles tense up, and his body straightens as I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder. After a few seconds, his body relaxes, and I feel his warm and caring touch surrounding my body. It almost feels curative and therapeutic, but definitely peaceful. Now, I know that's what it feels for both of us. It just feels right.

"And you didn't fail me, you could never fail me" He murmurs, and I softly chuckle.

"I kinda did." I say, as I start pulling away. I don't want to, but I have to. He looks at me, shaking his head softly.

"But you didn't," He replies. "It was me the one who assumed you didn't care when, you always do."

And just like that, we're going back to Coruscant, where more adventure, more grief, more difficult situations await for us. For now, however, I know the only thing expecting us is our Temple, our _home_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope all of you are safe and healthy, I am really glad to post now that some of you may be reading and using this website to get through this global situation many countries are currently facing.
> 
> I have been in a writer's block and I wasn't able to edit this chapter which, by the way, is a long and intense one. I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading and supporting this story I really care about! Stay safe, everyone :)
> 
> Laura


	10. Friendship

[ _elara_ ]

I jump over a fence, quickly running away from the group of separatist supporters that are following me. We are on a mission, the four of us, again. Obi-Wan, Nyla, Anakin and me. We have been told about our efficiency and particular, great chemistry to collaborate together. This was supposed to be a diplomatic and peaceful mission, but now I have a group of twenty rebels following me and continuously shooting at me.

We are in Toke, a very beautiful planet with a very prominent royal house. The Royal House of Toke needed our assistance, after the various kidnapping attempts of Princess Meridie carried out by a group of Tokian separatists. As it turns out, the Royal House of Toke has always, during all its history, pledged allegiance to the Galactic Republic, but the separatist are pushing King Phant to leave the Republic. However, the allegiance has always been in a neutral state.

Lately, missions have doubled in quantity and effort from what I hear around the Temple. It's been years since the These rebels are a pain in the-

A hand grabs me by my arm, pulling me away from the droid's sight. I turn my lightsaber quickly against the person's throat, and when my eyes meet theirs, I recognize them. I realize it's Anakin, and I quickly put my lightsaber away, before we start to rapidly walk away.

"Oh, finally!" I tell him, still with the lightsaber in my hands. "Where were you?" He glances at me and gives me a quick frown.

"I was trying to protect the Princess." Of course he was. I nod slowly as we turn into another street, finding our way back towards the Palace.

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah, I left her-" He is not able to finish his sentence, as I start hearing blaster shots behind us. When I look back, I see the big group of rebels shooting and shouting at both of us. My lightsaber protects us from the incoming shots, bringing down some rebels. However, they are too many for me to take down from the distance, especially when they are running in my direction.

"You know what? Don't tell me, just run!" I exclaim as I grab Anakin's hand, we both run through the streets, deciding our path as we go on.

He makes me turn left, and then I pull his hand to keep running through that street. He looks back, not seeing the rebels anymore due to our speed. Then, we hide inside of a house. We rest our backs against the wall of the house as we hear the group pass by. I let out a deep breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

"We could have fought them, instead of running away." Anakin murmurs, frowning at me with confusion.

"I don't like fighting people with blasters. You know that." I reply, raising my eyebrows defensively.

"They are easy to take down." He protests, taking a peek to look at the street again. He looks back at me and nods, indicating me they are empty.

"But they had a lot of blasters!" I exclaim in a whisper. "I'm not good against blasters."

"I was there to help." He insists, and I have to sigh.

"We're not going to get anywhere talking about this." I shake my head before looking around the house. It is empty of precious items, with only the basic furniture decorating the room. "We should plan something."

"Alright, well, we can go get Princess Meridie and protect her." Anakin proposes, walking beside me. I shake my head again, knowing this mission won't be as simple as that. I understand we must keep the peace, but to do that we might need to fight.

"No, we have to put an end to this. If not this mission is never going to end." I explain, as I walk out of the house. "We have to be smart about this situation." I my eyes analize every corner of the walls, looking for any strange symbol. I had been reading at the beginning of our visit, when our objective was just to protect the Princess. I find a symbol, one that looks like an eye, that I remember seeing in one of the books.

"And what do you propose?" Anakin asks, raising his eyebrows. I look at him and smirk, as my hand presses the stone where the symbol is located, opening a gallery made of stone. Anakin frowns at me confused and I invite him to go first.

Before I am even able to realize it, we are going into the Palace through one of the secret underground entrances I had read about in the library of said building. My plan is to infiltrate the Palace and find King Phant. We have to convince him to use his own forces to stop this rebel group. It is bigger than we had been told, and this is an internal conflict. The Princess is safe and away of the Palace, so that's something that we have on our side.

The solution to this is to simply get the King to use his forces, to engage in an counterattack, which is an option I am aware the King was trying to avoid. However, if he wants to protect his daughter, the Tokian Throne and his alliance with the Republic, he has to decide and stop playing with external factors to solve an internal conflict.

I have reached the conclusion that the answer resides on putting pressure on the King on the Republic's side. His neutrality is no longer something we can permit, in his own favour and in the Republic's. He's either with us or against us. Anakin thinks the same thing. Peacekeeping is becoming a difficult, almost impossible option in nowadays diplomatic missions.

When we finally reach the Palace, we follow the Force signatures of our Masters, which leads us straight to the Throne Room, where they are reunited with the King himself.

"There they are." Obi-Wan says, with relief. However, his relief fades when he notices the Princess is not with us. "Where's the princess?"

"She's safe, but she won't be for long if we don't fight back" Anakin responds before his eyes glance at the King.

"We're fighting back, Anakin." Obi-Wan replies with confusion, in an almost defensive tone. I step forward to defend Anakin.

"No, we are not." I reply, as my eyes settle on the king. "At least not all of us."

"Elara," Nyla tries to stop me, taking my hand.

"No, this needs to be said." I respond, as she lets go of my hand. I turn to face the King, and I step forward to get closer to him. However, his guards stop me, pointing their guns at me. "King Phant, I must ask you to forgive me but, if you want to ensure your daughter's safety you have to make an effort." I start speaking, with a strong and serious mask, while inside I am nervously breaking down. "The Republic can and will aid you, but we won't sacrifice our forces for an ally unable to move on from a point of neutrality in an internal conflict."

"You are either our ally or our enemy, but as you may understand we are not going to assist those who do not serve the Republic." Anakin adds, although he is still standing next to Obi-Wan.

"By the sound of the words you're speaking, you should be able to understand that I am only looking for my people's and my family's safety and welfare." The King finally speaks, narrowing slightly his eyes at me. "Attacking the separatist doesn't seem like the best idea to protect my family."

"Elara, leave it..." Nyla murmurs. But I won't leave it. I know I am right, and I know I can get him to use his troops. I look at the ground and I slowly step forward again, and the guards get their blasters ready to shoot at me.

"Think about your daughter, then." I add, looking at him with a brave demeanor. Although I do feel attacked by having four blasters pointed in my direction, I have to seem unaffected by it. "Until you choose a side, they won't leave you or her alone. If you use your military forces against them, they will have no other option but to leave your family at peace." He seems to be thinking about my words, when he finally speaks again.

"And if I give in to them, they will leave my family live at peace too." It is a threat, one I won't let intimidate me. Maybe, some months ago I would have been intimidated by this, but I have learned. I won't get blocked in this situation, not now.

"If you give in to them..." I put my hand over my lightsaber. "We'll have to arrest you, your Majesty, for treason against the Republic." The guards get in position, and the tension in the room rises in a matter of seconds. I can feel behind me Anakin is ready if he has to take his lightsaber, as well as Nyla. Obi-Wan, however, is just ready to come and stop me.

"Why should I listen to you?"

"Toke has an enormous military power, and you're going to let those who don't agree with your choices threaten you with violence, instead of opting for the democratic and diplomatic way. If you fight back and arrest them, you'll send the message that violence is not the way to decide. You could give them a trial and an audience to hear their problems, if they are separatist supporters they just may have issues with the current handling of the government. You could choose your strength to bring back peace and diplomacy." I see his narrowed eyes while I speak, and they are easy to read for me. He sees my point, but he can't just simply give in to a Jedi's opinion. He's the King. I hope my reading is right. "You would ensure your security and your alliance for years, for decades, for generations, even." He stares at me, in silence.

"Kenu, prepare the army and the battleships." The Head Guard nods, while the rest of the guards lower their guns. "I want every roger droid out of this planet." The guard named Kenu, leaves the room rushed, and I bow before the King.

"Thank you, your Majesty." I add, with a smile on my face.

I have been thinking, and it this on going separatist crisis becomes something bigger, it will be impossible to fight without gunned assistance, it is definitely a conflict we are not ready for. But it may happen one day, as everyday people are more disenchanted with the Republic's political situation. Now, it is not as big as a war, but if does get to that point, we should be ready. The Jedi alone can't make up an army for the whole Galaxy.

✰

And just like that, the group is defeated, and the leaders are arrested. Just like I had planned. I feel a variety of things, happiness, self-accomplishment, but overall, I feel pride. I solved this mission. Months ago I was doubting my ability to be on missions, but now I feel ready, prepared and, this proves that I am.

While the streets are being cleared out and our Masters report to the Jedi Council, Anakin and I are sent to get the Princess and take her back to the Palace, to her home.

"I hate to admit it, but you were incredible back there." Anakin tells me, as we are walking towards the place where Anakin left the Princess. He left her in a house outside the city, and we had to take a ship to get here.

"Oh, was I?" I ask, raising one of my eyebrows.

"You were," He murmurs, facing me for a moment. "I think that might have been your best plan until now, honestly."

"Well, thank you, but I am just glad it worked out."

"Of course it worked out, you're the most intelligent person I know." It could be a joke, or just some words he said to encourage me, but they feel like more than that. They feel true, and comforting. However, I don't know if it's comforting to hear the words or to have him say the words.

I have no time to ask him, because we reach the house and we have to bow before the Princess, inform her about the situation and take her back to the Palace. There's no room now for who we are or our emotions, just us as Jedi Padawans.

During the flight backs towards the Palace the Princess seems to be extremely grateful towards Anakin, and too close. I glance as I see how she widely smiles at him, speaking about how brave it was of him to do this for her and her family. I don't know what bothers me more: the fact that Anakin is receiving merits that are not his or the fact that the Princess is-

I look away and sigh. Because I shouldn't care about that. I shouldn't care about merits, about becoming a famous and well renowned Jedi. That's not what Jedi do. And I shouldn't care about who flirts with Anakin. It's not like, important. It doesn't even bother me. I just find it strange, I guess. I don't know, it is not right.

Arriving at the Palace is a relief, as the Princess finally leaves her brave fighter Skywalker and goes to embrace her father between her arms. Both father and daughter share a moment, one filled with happiness and relief. The King, however, leaves her daughter and starts to walk in my direction. I bow before him and he puts a hand on my shoulder for me to stand up.

"You're an intelligent girl, Elara Montrose." He admits, with a solemn smile. He, of course, is a King; this is his way of being grateful. I nod and nicely smile. "If you ever decide to leave the Jedi Order, you'll always find a welcoming home here in Toke, as an advisor." I frown at him and smile widely, debating whether to be surprised, amused or extremely grateful.

"Well, thank you, your Majesty." I opt for the last choice. "But I don't plan on leaving the Jedi anytime soon." I offer him an explanation, and he shakes his head.

"A pity, but my offer will always stand." He insists. "Your name won't be forgotten here in Toke." I stare at him as he walks back into the Palace. I smile widely and turn to Anakin, who might be as surprised as I am with what just happened. I was offered a place at a Royal Court. If I had been told at the age of twelve things like these would happen in my life, I probably would have gone straight to the Jedi Temple.

"You did a very good job, Elara." Obi-Wan admits, with a small smile. "I must say I am impressed, if we take into account who your Master is." Nyla rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"Don't be mean," Nyla laughs, and then she turns to look at me. "But yes, you did a great job. I'm very proud of you." I can see the pride in her round, dark eyes, which brings me warmth. She truly is proud of me, and there's nothing more fulfilling than knowing I have made them proud. Obi-Wan, as the man who gave me the chance to join the order; Nyla, as my Master; and Anakin, as my... Best friend.

✰

The morning sun of Coruscant lights every corner of the Jedi Garden. The green of the variety of flora and the faint appearance of colors from time to time, make me feel out of Coruscant. The flowers, the trees and the most common of bushes, weren't present in my childhood. Whenever I saw a hologram or a drawing of one, I thought I would have to travel to other planets to see them. Now, I have to laugh at my own innocence.

I didn't have to leave the planet to witness the naturals wonders the Galaxy has to offer. The Jedi Order has every imaginable plant and flower in the Jedi Gardens. The only thing I had to do to enjoy the beauty of nature was join the Jedi Order.

"Have I ever told you this is my favorite place in the Temple?" I ask Anakin, as I glance at him.

"Oh, it is not the library?" He replies with a funny frown, followed by a soft chuckle. I shake my head at him as I change my direction and abruptly turn left. He follows me quickly, amused at my response. Then, for a moment he doesn't speak. I thought the moment between us has died, but he speaks again. "I can understand why."

"It gives me a space to breathe. I forget where am I, what am I... I forget everything when I am surrounded by this." I confess, with a soft smile. I usually don't share my thoughts, or my feelings. But Anakin is definitely a weakness in that sense. "It is all too beautiful to care about anything else." I turn to look at him, and his eyes are staring at me with a sort of admiration. For a moment, I am unable to take my gaze off him. Then, I turn my head to look at some blossoming flowers. "Padme told me Naboo is filled with nature; that the whole planet is a garden." I simply say, after a moment of silence slips between us.

"From what I remember, it is." Anakin replies. "It was years ago, though. My memories are blurred." I nod slowly and we keep wandering through the gardens. At one point, I decide to sit down on one of the stone benches. Anakin sits down besides me, as we both look at the trees that are standing before us. "Are you excited? For the mission."

"Oh, I am." I respond with enthusiasm, the same one Nyla showed me when she told me about the mission. "Nyla told me she's excited too, and she certainly looked like she was." She was brilliantly smiling, speaking about how she wanted to be there already. It was obvious she couldn't wait.  
"That's great." Anakin tells me. "I wish Obi-Wan had the ability to get excited for anything."  
"He's not that bad, he is just a very serious, responsible man." I defend Obi-Wan, as I have tried many more times in other different conversations.

"He could be a little less serious and responsible. Sometimes I feel like his behaviour holds me back, I feel restrained." He states, frowning at the ground. It's no secret, at least for me, that he feels frustrated with Obi-Wan, but they have a complicated relationship.

Because if I ask:

"Would you like to change your Master if you could?"

He responds:

"What? No; I would... I would never change Obi-Wan, he has always been my master." That's where the complication appears. "He is my family here, and I have learned everything I know about the Jedi through him but..." He explains, looking at me now. "I wished sometimes he would just be a little less... Strict."

And I understand, I really do. Because, with Obi-Wan, I would feel like that too. However, there's a difference between Anakin and me: I would speak about it with Obi-Wan, he won't do it unless he has some encouragement to do it. If I had thought I keep things to myself, Anakin is way worse than me. I think the only person he speaks about some of his thoughts with is me. I, at least, have Nyla and, when she is able to listen, Padmé.

"You could talk to him about it, I'm sure he would understand and maybe you could see what he thinks." I suggest, as I stare at him, waiting for his reaction. His eyes look at me for a moment, I know he is thinking about it. Yet, he shakes his head.

"No, it's fine. I will get over it, you know I will, it's just sometimes I think about it and I feel... Well, you know," He justifies. "But I wouldn't choose any other Master. I have been under his teachings since I was nine years old. I mean, Obi-Wan technically raised me."

"I think that explains a lot." I observe. "I think Obi-Wan had to protect you in the past, when you were a child. You were his responsibility, and I think he might still see you as his responsibility."

"I mean, yeah, I'm his Padawan."

"What I am talking about goes beyond that, he cares about you and your welfare."

"Maybe." He responds with a shrug. "But that makes sense, everyone claims I am the Chosen One, and he promised his master he would teach me. I am a promise he made to his master, and Obi-Wan is too loyal to not do that." I stay quiet after that, not knowing what to say after those words.

I think he is oversimplifying things, rationalizing something that shouldn't be. But Anakin is a master at doing that, he always complicates in his head the most simple situations, and rationalises what shouldn't be. The rational part of his mind that should be working when he is a Jedi, gets replaced by the irrational one. And he's lucky it works.

I have been on enough missions with him to notice how his mind works in a mission. And I have had enough conversations with him to know how his mind works beyond the Jedi hours. Many late night conversations during missions and in the most hidden corners of the Jedi Temple have allowed me to see who he is, emotionally. We had agreed, without actually agreeing with words, that our backgrounds are something we are not ready to tell to each other.

"We won't see each other for three weeks." I think out loud, as the reminder of the mission comes back into my mind. "When I come back, you have already left." I tell Anakin, as I hadn't realized that  
.  
"Yeah, I know..." He responds, with a saddened expression in his face. He did think about this.  
After spending so much time with him, I see it almost impossible to be without seeing him for more than a week. I see myself being without him, of course, but it feels strange to be that far away from him when he has become such a fundamental person in my everyday life.

There's words I would like to say, and I glance at him, wondering if he would say those words too. For know, however, I'll leave those words unspoken. We won't see each other for three weeks, we'll be fine. Now I will just enjoy this moment of peace with him, in this part of the Jedi Gardens, believing for a while that we're far, far away from Coruscant.

✰

I slowly exit the tent, after making sure everything was in place. Nyla is seated in a tree trunk, in front of a fire we lighted up. When the Jedi Council told us our mission would be different to the typical diplomatic missions we are usually sent to, I wasn't picturing Nyla and I lost in a jungle in a lost planet called Devath. I understood retrieving a Jedi Holocron wasn't going to be a comfortable journey, but my mind hadn't thought about the camping in the middle of a jungle scenario. Turns out, I'm enjoying it quite a lot.

It feels like an adventure trip I should have had as a kid, with my family. But that could have never happened. Instead, I'm in the middle of the jungle with a different kind of family. Nyla looks at me as I sit down in a tree trunk next to her.

"I love missions like this one." She says, her eyes fixated on the flames of the fire. I slightly frown at the fire. She seems to enjoy the rest of the missions too, which is why I am surprised. "Don't get me wrong, the fighting is great and very entertaining but..." She pauses, turning to look at me. "It is incomparable to this. The adventure of exploring and searching for old artifacts, the thrill of survival... That's much better than fighting against Separatist droids." Both of us laugh, because I must admit I needed this kind of mission. It feels like something I needed after constantly fighting against Princess-killing and separatists droids.

"I am liking it a lot... We could ask them to send us on more of these." I tell her, with a soft smile in my lips. Honestly, I am liking it just as much as the others, but if Nyla likes them, we can do them more. We could even become Jedi Holocron specialists.

"I wish we could." She shakes her head with a half-smile. "But there are still many things for you to learn." She continues speaking, with a small shrug. I look at her during the silence that overtakes our conversation. I can hear the night birds of the jungle singing, and the leaves of the trees moving swiftly with the breeze. "I think you will like undercover missions." She says, after a while of listening to the sounds of the jungle.

"Oh yeah?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. "Why?"

"Undercover missions are great for people who natural pretenders, and as wrong as it may sound, you have a gift for that." She admits with a funny smile. "You have pretended all your life, and you have always been good at hiding things." I know that sentence has a double meaning, but not in a negative or offensive way. I understand what she means, and I can't feel insulted with something I agree with. "You would not only do a good job, you would enjoy it." As she speaks, she looks at me with a soft smile. "Most undercover missions are based on letting the others underestimate you, just so you can hit them harder later. You would enjoy proving those people you are not less." She's definitely not wrong about that, because she knows me. She knows I work to prove I can do things, that I am worthy of the things I have. "But I guess any woman would, in that sense." I frown slightly.

"I guess..." I murmur, shrugging. "Yeah, maybe I would enjoy that, I don't know." I say, in my state of confusion and tiredness.

"I know you would." She replies, looking at the flames again. "We are so used to being underestimated that at this point, anything we do surpasses our own expectations."

"Do you think women are underestimated?"

"Do you not think so?" She glances at me through the corner of her eye, noticing my confusion. She narrows her eyes at me, in an attempt to analyze my mindset at the moment. "Just because Padmé is a Senator doesn't mean she is treated like the rest. She is respected as a senator because of all the hard work she has been involved in, but I can assure you most of the men in the Senate haven't worked as much as Padmé has, and they still have better positions. Why do you think that is?" She asks, making me turn to look at the flames with a frown, as her words go through my mind. Has Padmé worked more than her male colleagues? I do personally think she is much more capable in politics than any male colleague, including the Chancellor himself. I can see what Nyla means with that. "And that's a privileged woman, but you had been living in the underworld of Coruscant, you know what's in there for us." I look at her with a soft frown, because I know what she is talking about. "Tell me your life was not conditioned for being a woman."

"I..." I start to speak, unsure about how to answer the question. "Yeah, it was conditioned, but also for the fact that I had no economic importance, not even social importance." I do admit that women are put in more dangerous situations. Vasma was a prostitute. I remember the amount of girls who had to live under the grip of men, and how I was exposed to that vulnerability of being a woman.

"That doesn't mean it's right." Nyla keeps talking, with a saddened smile. This seems to be a very delicate topic for her. "You see, you forget these things because in the Jedi Temple we are privileged, we don't live in those conditions." I frown, trying to understand what she means. "The insistence to forget and leave behind what can hold you back, makes you forget about who you were to the world too."

"But we live in an unfair world, Nyla." I tell her with a small shrug. "Things are not fair, you either have privileges or you don't." I have never had the time to think about why Padmé wasn't regarded as highly as the other politicians, or to ask myself why Vasma had had to be a prostitute. I never asked myself why men looked at me like I was a dessert, or why they felt the need to touch me. I just assumed life wasn't fair.

"Of course, but those who have the privilege we have, should use it to change things." She says, her eyes watching the fire again. Her voice softens, as a faint smile appears in her lips. "That's what Padmé does, what I try to do, and what you should do too." Now her eyes are staring right into mine, and I know how important this is for her. "As a woman, as a person." I narrow my eyes, accepting all the questions that arise in my mine at the same time I accept all the information she is telling me.  
"Why are you telling me this?" I softly ask, feeling the heat of the fire on one side of my face while the other feels the cold and humidity of the jungle.

"I have many reasons." She answers with a half-smile, or at least that's what I can see in her side that's illuminated with the flames, I can just guess there's another half-smile in the darkness emanating from the jungle. "You have the power others don't, and you should use it wisely and correctly. And the privilege being a Jedi gives you, still doesn't protect you from other aspects of our society, and that's something I'd like you to understand." I listen with a soft look in my eyes, or at least that's my intention. "You are still a woman, and I protect you from many things, but I won't be able to protect you forever."

"I don't need you to protect me." I instantly respond. It comes out in a soft way.

"But you do." She responds with a smile I know she is forcing. "You told me once about your friend Vasma."

"That's why I don't want your protection, I have already had it and I know how to defend myself."

"You can't defend yourself against a system that's been carefully created to control and own women." She declares with a slight shake of her head. "Sex trafficking is a real thing, and women are still sex slaves, even if they are not directly owned, like your friend. The Galaxy is wide and vast, and you need to learn how to fight in every situation, with your advantages and disadvantages." Her voice is stronger now, firmer and clearer. If I didn't know better, I would think she is scolding me, but I recognize her behavior as familiar worry, rather than anger. "You're gonna have things in your favor and things that, at first, may seem like inconveniences, but you can always turn it around."  
"You're telling me I can manipulate situations and people on my favour?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "Is that wise for the Jedi?"

"I don't know if it is for the Jedi, but it is for a person who has to survive." She gives me a funny smirk as she continues. "There's nothing wrong with being the most intelligent person in the room." My gaze turns to the flames one more time, taking in her words.

"Yeah, well, the Jedi Council would think it is wrong..." I comment, shrugging off the idea of trying to manipulate my surroundings. Although it is something I feel I am ready for, I also feel it is not a Jedi thing to do. I can hear my inner Master Yoda's voice already, telling me what's wrong with it. He would say it can lead to arrogance, to trusting a false reality of yourself. "They would say it's fueling your ego, which is not a wise thing to do." After my statement, Nyla lets out a soft laugh that resonates through the closest trees. I frown at her, and she shakes her head.

"Not everything the Jedi Council says is right or true, you know?" She tells me amused. "They do not hold the natural and ultimate truth of the Force and the universe." That pushes away Master Yoda's voice from my mind, leaving only the wide variety of questions Nyla implanted in my mind through the conversation. "Plus, I'm not telling you to believe you're the most intelligent, I am just telling you to be that person."

I am a woman, and I am aware of the vulnerability that presents in the Galaxy. I just hadn't realized how that affects me right now, and how I can use my power in that favour. After all, that's what Nyla's conclusion is. She wants me to understand the Galaxy better, like any survivor would. I read once that warriors should know the battlefield before engaging in a battle, because not doing so is nothing different than going blindfolded into a duel.

"Thank you for your lessons, Nyla." I murmur as my eyes find hers through the orange highlights of her face.

"I wanted to talk to you about all of this, but I had to find the right moment. Away from all the Jedi environment of the Temple. I just wanted to talk to you as people; as the women we are, not as a Jedi." She explains, looking at me with a soft smile. "But... That was enough for tonight, you should get some rest."

"Yeah... You too." I reply, standing up. "I get the feeling tomorrow is going to be a long day." As I walk back to the tent, I glance back to Nyla, who is still sitting down next to the fire, staring at it.  
Sometimes, Nyla is a mystery for me. She knows many things, she protects me and teaches me, and I can't help but wonder, what must she have been through? She asked me once, as a joke, is she was a better or worse Master that Yoda, but the truth is, I can't compare. Both have made me grow as a person, and as a Jedi. Both have been great Masters, and both hold a special place in my heart.  
Nonetheless, Nyla feels like an older sister. She's my family.

✰

The Jedi Temple is not the same without Anakin. He had been out on missions before, but we had never been away from each other for such a long time. It has been a month and a half since I left with Nyla to collect that Jedi Holocron in Devath.

It might seem a short period of time, in comparison to the amount of years in my childhood I had never had anyone special, but after spending so much time with Anakin for so long, now it feels weird. Especially the Temple, which has become my house. He was here when it became my house, and it is weird to be here without him.

When we came back, I had already accepted the idea of not seeing him for another week. However, when he had to come back to Coruscant, he sent me a holo explaining me how complicated the situation was, and that the travel back to the Jedi Temple had been postponed. 

Another week and a half later, there I was again, watching his figure in my holopad talking about the complicated situation on the planet where he and Obi-Wan had been sent. A week after that, it happened again. Everytime I opened his holo and saw him saying that we wouldn't see each other in a while, something slowly and quietly broke in my chest.

Two months have already passed since the last time I saw him. I am meditating every day, trying to find a solution to my problem. There's a certain pull inside of me, one I cannot control, that makes me want to see him again. I really do miss him.

I spent my eighteenth birthday with Padmé. I think she knows I miss him. She is not judging me for it and she was incredibly supportive, trying to cheer me up, which is something I am grateful for. The fact that he wasn't there, hurt in a way I had forgotten things could hurt. But it is too irrational for me to embody that feeling.

The pull, however, is something much more physical. It feels biological, like a literal limp is stretching for too long, and it starts hurting, burning and aching. I know for a fact that pull leads to him, because when I try to reach to it, I sense him. I sense that warmth and life he brings to me, and I can just hope he feels me there with him. Sometimes, that warmth suddenly appears, keeping me company, and I like to think that's him, trying to be with me.

I train, I meditate, I think, I eat, I sleep; I wait for him to appear, to hear news about Obi-Wan and him and their mission, which by the way I don't know what is it for. But it must be important, to keep him there for almost two months.

And I have noticed I have become selfish when it comes to him. I want him to be with me, because of the warmth he brings me. Everything feels colder without him. He makes feel like no one has ever before, and somehow, I am unable to speak about it. Not even with Padmé.

I feel like I am going crazy, and I just want him back. I shiver at the thought of having to live like this, with this coldness surrounding me all the time, especially after knowing how warm everything can feel. In this cold, my muscles feel stiff and firm, unable to move and to feel anything that is not my own agitation at the situation.

I open my eyes as I am sitting in the middle of the room, I pass my hand through my hair as I stand up. Meditation is not working, so I might just need to do breathing exercises to calm the anxiety growing within me.

The doors of the meditating room open, and I turn around with a surprised frown. I find my favorite little green creature, my old Master: Yoda.

"From the Jedi Council, feel you I can." He speaks as he walks into the room, with his wooden stick supporting his weight. The doors close behind him and I give him a small, forced smile.

"I am sorry, Master." I reply, as I watch him walk in front of me. "I feel very nervous and uneasy these days."

"See it, I can." He funnily responds, he hits one of the meditation cushions of the room. "A meditation session, what you need, is."

"I don't know, Master Yoda." I murmur, as I stare at how he sits on one of the cushions and closes his eyes. "I already tried."

"Sit," He immediately orders. I widen my eyes and nod.

"Alright..." I sit down with my legs crossed on the cushion. I slowly close my eyes, and just like before, the cold feeling intensifies when I meditate. I guess it is related to my awareness of my surroundings, I take a deep breath and soon I feel Yoda's Force presence with me. Any distraction helps, and Yoda's energy is too strong to not feel it, it almost mutes any other noise. Almost. I can still feel the pull, it is always there.

"With me you should stay, Elara." The use of my name with Master Yoda's voice is strange. He must really be concerned to treat me by my name. And he knows, maybe not entirely, but he knows something is taking away my concentration from the Temple. I try to concentrate on staying with him, on focusing on his energy and his aura. However, I also have to concentrate on blocking my thoughts from him, but without him noticing. I don't want him to know I am this way because I... I feel Anakin's absence. "Attachment I sense." Well, at least he didn't get who, that's something already. Master Yoda is powerful enough to know without blocking, so I must be doing something right.

"I have been spending too much time alone... I have been thinking about people from outside the Temple." I explain, feeling a bit of guilt. I don't like lying to Master Yoda, not when he has always helped me, guided me, and being so kind to me.

"Missing them, you are." He notes, and I hold my breath. "Attachment you feel." I listen to him, with my eyes closed and concentrated on easing the rhythm of my heart beats. "Easy is not, to let go, but do it we must; our duty, it is." Inside me, I tug at that pull that leads me to Anakin, to that strong and natural warmth, and I reflect on Master Yoda's words.

Should I leave this link die? Should I forget about the delightful and friendly sensation Anakin brings me? Can I even do that? Master Yoda has said it is not easy, so maybe I can't do anything. Maybe the only thing I can do is... Ignore it.

"Of course, Master." I respond, turning away from the pull.

"Meditate, we will, for an hour." Master Yoda informs. "The energies you must balance." that's my task, and I hope I can make in one hour what I have been unable to do for weeks.

"I will balance them, Master."

After a long hour of balancing the energies around me, Master Yoda feels I am in a much better place. He recommends me the exercise whenever I feel that way again. When I am alone in the room once again, I look out through one of the windows, reflecting now in a more rational way. Now that I have balanced myself, I can think about this.

I miss Anakin. I definitely do, and there's nothing I can't do to not miss him, because that's done already. I care about him, he is like... Another half. I close my eyes at the thought, as I hate to even allow that to appear in my mind. But I do feel that way with him. I have never found anyone that feels like Anakin does. And the pull... That's not normal.

All I am able to admit now, is that I miss him. I'll figure it out, I always do.  
Just as I reach that conclusion, I see one ship flying towards the Temple, in particular, towards the hangar of said sacred building. I open my senses, as my eyes stare at the incoming ship. Instantly, my face lights up, because I can feel him. He is in that ship.

I rush out of the room with a wide smile and filled with excitement to see him. I run through the halls of the temple, ready to greet Obi-Wan and Anakin. When I reach the hangar I see their ship landing, and I slowly walk into the hangar, ready to see them leave the ship.

Anakin walks out of the ship, but not as I expected him to do so. He is being held by Obi-Wan, and he doesn't seem to be able to fully walk. In addition to that, there's a wide red stain in his lower abdomen. My eyes widen at the horror scene, and I rush towards both of them.

Obi-Wan seems relieved when he sees me, but the worry in his eyes doesn't fade away. I help him take Anakin to the medical wing of the Jedi Temple, and some droids immediately start to treat him.

When he is taken out of the emergency room and placed in a private room, Obi-Wan explains to me what happened, and as he does, I can see the worry and preoccupation in his face. He really cares for him, beyond what Anakin might think. What I think is Obi-Wan sees Anakin as a familiar responsibility, like a little brother. At one moment, I put my hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, in an attempt to comfort the worried Master.

"Obi-Wan, you can go rest, I will stay here with him for awhile." I tell him nicely, and he shakes his head.

"You don't have to do that, I should be the one watching over him." He insists, with a frown on his face. However, the dark bags under his eyes are proof of the rest he needs.

"But now you need to get some rest and meditation, Obi-Wan." I assert, giving him an encouraging nod. "Go, I am glad to help in any way I can." He looks at me, sending me a saddened and tired smile, but mostly grateful.

"Thank you, Elara."

"No need to thank me," I tell him, shaking my head with arms surrounding my torso. "We must help each other." He nods and leaves. I stay alone, staring at Anakin through the glass panel.

I walk inside of the room where Anakin is laying down in a medical bed, connected to a machine that is keeping track of his vitals. Everything seems to be in order, and he seems peaceful now. I use the Force to move one chair inside of the room next to the bed, where I can sit and watch over Anakin. My hand rests on the edge of the bed, next to his. I stretch my fingers, until my fingertips gently stroke his knuckles.

Then, my fingers wrap around his hand, and I smile to myself. I feel him here, and he is safe.  
It feels good now to see him in front of me, next to me. Because for a moment, I felt my soul sink when I saw Obi-Wan carrying him. He is, if I put it in different words, the morning sun when it appears through the horizon after a cold, long night. A shiver runs down my spine as I realize the weight of my own words. This is attachment.

"Elara?" I hear a raspy voice.

I glance at Anakin's face, and he is staring at me. I smile widely, flooded with happiness. I stand up and let go of his hand, so I can wrap my arms around him tightly. I feel his chest raising against mine, as he takes in a deep breath. But when his arms surround me, I feel warmer than I ever have. As his hand caresses my back, and slightly plays with the ends of my hair, I enjoy his tight embrace.

"Anakin..." I whisper softly, before I pull away. However, as I do his hand caresses my arm until he reaches my hand. We intertwine our fingers, and I smile at him. "I am so glad to see you again, I..." I start to sit on the edge of the bed, but he lets out a soft grunt, as my arm has slightly hit his recent wound on his lower abdomen. "Sorry."

"It's fine," He assures as his pained expression goes back to a happy smile. "I am glad to be back too, you know." His facial expression softens, and I feel mine soften too. "I was going crazy not being able to listen to your updates on the books you were reading."

"You're so bad." I say narrowing my eyes at him with a smile.

"I might not be that bad if you want me back in the Temple." Because you're not bad at all, and I want you here with me. As the thought comes across my mind, I look away from him, and I realize I am letting myself go completely. I can't do anything about my attachment, but I can try to not fuel it. 

"Elara?" His voice brings me back to the medical room and I look at him, not knowing what to say.

"Oh, sorry, I just-" I start to say, with a faint frown. I decide to say the first thing that comes to my mind. "I... I missed you." Well, what a way to not fuel my attachment.

"I missed you too." He responds, with both his azure eyes staring at me. That really doesn't make it better. "We can still celebrate your birthday." I shake my head and let out a soft laugh.

"First, you'll need to get better." I reply jokingly, but I remember what I was trying to do. I am trying to not fuel anything. Ignore the attachment. "But we don't have to, I told you I had a great time with Padmé." I tell him with a nice smile.

"But I want to." His voice sounds true and confident when he says it, and it sends a second shiver through my body. I smile at him and look at our intertwined hands. I know I shouldn't find comfort in his gentle touch, but I can't help it.

"Great, then." I murmur. "We should go to The Olbio, shouldn't we?"

"It's your birthday, you decide."

"Well, technically we're just celebrating you're back." I murmur, rolling my eyes. And when my eyes look at him again, I find his gaze is locked on me. I don't know why, but my heart starts to beat faster and faster, I can feel through the Force the blood pumping through my veins, rapidly, and nervously.

"So, everything has been fine?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

I could be honest and tell him how I felt, but that's not what I am going to do. If I speak about it; if I verbalise it, it becomes too real. I am going to be rational about this, I won't let my irrational instincts lead me down a road I can't even rationalize. I can't let things I don't understand control me. I can't let attachment control me, or let it corrupt me.

"Yes," I finally answer. "Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter and supporting the story, I checked that since the last update, the story has received many kudos and I am very grateful for that. I also hope you're all in good health and safe in your homes.
> 
> Next chapter is going to be already in time of Attack of the Clones, so get ready!
> 
> Once again, thank you.
> 
> Laura.


	11. Attack

[ _elara_ ]

The elevator doors open, showing a young girl standing in front of me. She is welcoming me with a smile as I step into the lobby of Padmé’s apartment. Everything seems like before, the maid is the same and there are no guards in the lobby. After the attack on Padmé, I would suppose she would intensify her security team. But she didn’t. She either didn’t have time for it or she is a fool for believing they won’t attack her again.

"Good morning, is Senator Amidala home?" I ask her as I come in. The maid knows me from previous visits, so naturally she nods and guides me into the main room. Another mistake. She didn’t ask me anything, she just let me come in. It is not my case, but someone could have put an explosive on me. I am really starting to worry about her.

“Elara!” I hear Padmé’s voice calling me with excitement. I look at her and find her standing up from her couch. She is wearing a wide smile on her face, which is unsettling to me. She has just suffered an assassination attempt. She reaches me and wraps her arms around me tightly. This makes much more sense. I hug her back with strength, giving her a sense of comfort in the best way I can. I am not used too doing it, but I try my best. When she pulls back, she smiles at me softly. “It’s wonderful to see you. It has already been a month since the last time we saw each other” She says, avoiding the topic of the attack. 

She may be able to convince people such as her maids, the other politicians, but not me. I see through her. I know, deep down, there’s a scared Padmé who wishes she didn’t have to be in this situation. A Padmé that is mourning for the people that died and were injured in the accident. I need to talk about it, that’s why I came here.

"I heard that you were attacked, an assassination attempt," I tell her, making her smile fade away.

I know she doesn’t want to talk about it, I can see it in her eyes. I frown softly at her as she looks down. She starts to walk in direction of the couches again, and she sits down. I walk towards The couch, standing in front of her. "I heard you were here, in Coruscant and came as fast as I could" She looks up at me with a forced smile.

"I'm fine, Elara. The Chancellor just insists I need more security.” She speaks, trying to appease me. But she knows me, and she knows I’m, if anything, persistent. “The danger is not only on me. Other senators have also been told to increase their security.” She informs, looking more seriously this time. My eyes scan her, and I don’t have to use the Force to realize she doesn’t want to be protected, she doesn’t want to put the lives of people in risk in order to survive.

"If they force you to have security, you can choose me." I offer. I can take the risk, especially if it is for a friend who has taken care of me when I needed it.

"Elara…” She lets out with confusion. “You are a Padawan!” She exclaims, almost amused at the proposal. “They won't let you." I look at her with my eyes slightly narrowed. I have to admit I am a bit hurt by the way she responded. I am completely capable of protecting her.. “I would love it, of course, but there is no way the Jedi Council will allow it.” She continues speaking, and it makes me feel a bit better.

“Well, I think I am prepared to take care of your security." I mumble, raising my eyebrows at her. Both of my hands rest on my hips. "I am constantly in dangerous situations as a Jedi. I have saved Anakin’s life many times, you see..." I explain, adding a bit of humour in my voice. Padmé nods slowly as a smile faintly appears in her face.

“I bet he has saved yours too.” She adds, which makes me look at her with a tired gaze. I roll my eyes and shrug.

"Alright, so maybe he can join…” I say jokingly. She smiles at me, sweetly, and I can’t help but see the girl who just wants to forget for a moment. I bite my lip, and I have a sudden idea. “Look, I get it. I’ll get a bottle of cider, you need it after what happened.”

She stares at me as I start walking towards a cabinet where I know Padmé keeps the liquors and alcoholic drinks she is gifted when she travels. Everytime she goes back to Naboo, they give her this amazing cider that is very exclusive in the Galaxy. It makes sense, because it is the best cider I have ever tasted.

“Ever since your eighteenth birthday you just use me as an excuse to drink.” I hear her tell me, and I can feel the smile in the way her voice sounds. “I’m sure about that.” I take two rounded and red tinted glasses from the top of the cabinet. I smirk, amused at her comment.

For my eighteenth birthday, the one I spent away from Anakin, she invited me over to her house, to have a kind of sleepover. Nyla was excited for me. The Jedi Council was another story. When she managed to convince the Jedi Council, I was thrilled. I never knew how she managed to do it, but she did. Even Anakin was surprised, and maybe disappointed, but I was too. He was away, and I missed him. Whether his disappointment came from not being able to celebrate with me or not being able to do those things himself, he only showed me support from the distance.

During the sleepover, she thought it would be a good idea to try some of her liquors, and that was the first time I got drunk. I remember thinking that at least, I was with Padmé, that I wasn’t alone. I was safe. My memory of that night is not as clear as it could have been, but it is definitely one of the sweetest and happiest moments I can remember. I hadn’t had those kinds of experiences before, and even though Padmé is older than me, she hadn’t either. Padmé and I, despite our endless differences, understand each other. That night, we weren’t a Jedi and a Senator, we were just two drunk girls trying to have fun.

“Maybe I do.” I respond as I grab the bottle, closing the cabinet with my knee. “Maybe I don’t.” I walk back towards the couches as she softly laughs. I place the glasses on the table before I sit with her again.

“I understand your worry, but what I really need right now is a friend that can distract me.” She tells me, with a saddened expression in her face as I pour the drink into our glasses. “Can you do that?” I leave the bottle on the table and look at her with a frown.

“Of course I can, Padmé.” I say with a soft smile. “Just promise me you’ll speak with the Chancellor about it. I will speak with my Master.” I continue. She stares at me with an skeptical look. I know she is thinking two things: _‘I don’t need protection’_ and _‘It’s not going to work’_. “There’s nothing wrong with trying.” Her eyes scan me as her mind is working through the situation.

“You’re not going to let it go, are you?” I shake my head, and she sighs deeply. She takes her glass from the table and, without looking at me, she says: “Fine, I’ll comment it to the Chancellor.” I smile and grab my own glass, raising it in the air and filling the room with a sound of glasses softly brushing against each other.

“So… How have you been?” I ask, with a nice smile drawn in my face. She nods and grins. She really needs this.

“Good, while I have been on tour, I have been working on a new bill.” She tells me. “Do you want to read it?” Her voice shows excitement and motivation. Padmé and her love for politics is purer than the ones you can see in holodramas. 

“Of course.” I respond, with a faint nod. Just as I nod, she stands up and rushes to her office. She comes back immediately, her eagerness to show me her work fueling her actions.

“You don’t have to read it entirely if you don’t want to.” She tells me, as she hands me a pile of papers. The front page has a title that makes me hold my breath: Rights of Children and Youths Bill. I raise my eyebrows at the bill I am now holding between my hands, surprised and, overall, flattered.

“Padmé...” I start to say, unable to put into words my current admiration for her work as a Senator. “This is…”

“Yeah.” She speaks, with a proud smile. “You know that ever since I’ve known you, I have been working in Naboo to protect the rights of children and their care.” The fact that I am, in Padmé’s eyes, the inspiration for the rights that other children will get to enjoy, makes me feel useful. “I have visited many orphanages, many children with different problems, in so many diverse situations…”

“Yeah, I know.” I respond, shaking my head in disbelief. This situation feels surreal, because sometimes I forget Padmé is a Senator. “But I would have never thought you would present it to the Senate.”

“Well, these measures are working in Naboo.” She further explains, taking her drink. “It’s about time the rest of the Galaxy sees them. It will take some time, though, because we still have to take care of the militarization policies that some sectors of the Senate are pressuring on.”

“Padmé…” I say as I open the bill, my eyes getting glimpses of the content of the bill. “I don’t know what to say, this is…” I close the papers and look at her, with a grateful smile. “I’d never thought my voice would have this kind of impact.”

“It did, and it is still having that impact.” I leave the papers in the table and I wrap my arms around her.

The fact that my mere existence has some significance in the lives of others fills my heart with joy. As a kid, my greatest dream was to to have someone to listen to me, like Padmé does, or to have someone I could trust, like Anakin does. But it would have been unimaginable to think of myself as someone who would have any kind of importance. Life keeps proving me that old mindset from the orphan girl is wrong, that i can be more than that.

“Thank you for listening, Padmé.” I whisper, as I tightly embrace her. She hugs me back, and there’s strong sensation of mutual gratitude.

“Thank you for sharing it with me, for trusting me…” She tells me back, and I pull away to see a wide grin drawn in her face.

“You know you may make me believe in politics, after all.” I comment, in all honesty. It is no secret that I distrust politics and, specially, politicians. Sometimes I wonder how i ended up befriending one, then I realize we’re friends despite our circumstances. “You had another proposal too, right?”

“Oh, yes! That one has already been presented.” She answers, before drinking again from her cup.

“What was it about?”

“I didn’t tell you about it?” I shake my head as I grab my own cup, drinking from it slowly as I put my legs on the soft fabric of the sofa, sitting on them. “It was a legal reform proposal for the slavery issue, you know it is a constant discussion in the Senate.” She rolls her eyes, with her glass in her left hand. “Core Worlds are against it, but in Outer Rim worlds it is a very difficult issue to control, with the clans and power groups involved in the matter.”

“It is abolished in Naboo, right?”

“Yes, of course, Naboo is one the Outer Rim worlds with better quality of life.” She says with a nice smile. “But there is always something to improve.”

“I mean, Coruscant definitely needs improvements…” I raise my eyebrows, raising my cup. As I take a sip from my drink, Padmé just nods and sighs. Then, she smiles at me.

“We’ll get there, one day.”

✰

Nyla walks away from the balcony where we had been standing. I may admit the few drinks I took at Padmé’s house may have affected me, and even after hours have passed since that, I am still feeling the effect of her exquisite cider. I walk after her, confused at the information she has just granted me.

“What do you mean an army?” I ask, with a strong frown.

“I mean a full army, from what we have been reported. Thousands of soldiers, already trained.” I narrow my eyes, and I don’t know if the situation is simply and commonly strange or if the cider is making my mind go slower. Maybe both.

“And they are clones…” I murmur, trying to take in the information.

“They are clones, genetically engineered soldiers that are copies of one person.” I let my mind make some sense of the situation.

Apparently, from what Nyla has been reported, there’s an army ready for the Jedi Order and the Republic. In my head, it is a particular coincidence that this army appears when there’s an immense debate within the Republic’s Senate to militarize the Republic. In addition, one of the Senators who has been outspoken about her opposition to the Military Creation Act, has recently been attacked and suffered an assassination attempt. This all seems too odd and dubious.

“How come the Jedi Council didn’t know?” I ask, raising one of my eyebrows as we walk through the halls of the Jedi Temple.

“The Jedi who ordered it was Master Sifo-Dyas, but he died before being able to inform it to the Jedi Council.” Nyla explains with normality, but in my head everything just keeps sounding more and more like there’s a conspiracy behind it. It might be the alcohol, but it also may not. “Obi-Wan and I have been told to investigate the whole affair. We have to leave for Kamino for a couple of days.”

“Alright…” I nod, and I walk slower, forcing Nyla to slow down too. “But why would the Jedi need an army?”

“Master Sifo-Dyas had always had a bad feeling of the arising Separatist movement. That’s the most reasonable answer.” She shrugs, speaking in almost whispers. “The most rational, I would say.”

“Do you think he died or…” I lower my voice, and I stare at Nyla. “He was killed?” Nyla stops in the middle of the hall, and turns to look at me, with a frown drawn in her forehead.

“That’s a risky and irrational statement, Elara.” Nyla warns, shaking her head. “We don’t have proof for that.” Then, she keeps walking away and I shake my head too, as I rush to reach her current position.

“I think we have enough. He coincidentally died just after reaching this agreement, which we have found out about now.” I murmur, explaining my suspicions.

“An agreement you shouldn’t even know about, by the way…” She mumbles as she looks at me through the corner of her eye.

“He didn’t die in an accident, did he?” I ask, with an eyebrow raised. Nyla looks away from me and takes a deep breath, ignoring me. He did die in an accident. “No way,” I let out, widening my eyes at Nyla. “How come this was never investigated?”

“We didn’t have reasons to.” Nyla replies, speaking with caution. She obviously doesn’t want to be heard. “An investigation without a lead or proof is like walking blindfolded into a dark room.” She rationalizes. “You can’t see what you have, where you’re going and you don’t even know where you are.” I take a breath and nod, because she is right, there’s no way to deny that.

“Alright, I get it, but you must admit this is all too… Questionable” I offer, as an alternative to my irrational conspiracy talk. “It’s too much of a coincidence.” She takes some seconds to respond, as her gaze is focused to the front and her mind is reflecting on it.

“It is.” She admits, glancing at me. “That’s not the point, though.” She suddenly, stops and turns her gaze towards me. “The point is I’m leaving, Elara. You’ll have to take care of yourself and keep working.”

“I already do.”

“I know, but I want you to be alright while I’m gone.” She declares, with a soft smile. “Since I became your Master, we have never been apart.”

“I’ll be fine.” I will. I learned from when Anakin was gone for two months… Although I promised myself I would try to ignore that, to forget about it.

“Yes, I know.”

“I guess you haven’t heard from the Council yet, right?” I inquire, after a moment of silence. Nyla looks at me with an amused smile, most likely finding my eagerness funny.

“Elara, I told you I defended you the best way I can, but the decision was not mine.” She explains, as her expression becomes softer. “You know I think you’re ready for it, I would allow you without a second thought. You care about Padmé, who better to defend and protect her than someone who actually wants her alive?”

“Apparently for the Council it is…” I utter, looking at the ground. “That’s something I don’t understand. Is caring about people really that bad?” In truth, what I am asking her is: Should I not care? Should I forget about Padmé and Anakin? Should I just live to be a better Jedi? Should I just live for the Republic?

“It’s not, Elara.” She sighs. “As long as you don’t let yourself be carried by your care. Especially when losing people.” She adds, with a more educational tone. “That’s why we need to learn how to manage our emotions.”

“Of course, Nyla.” I nod, and I look to the front. I realize we are on our way to the Jedi Council when we are few meters away from it. I have been so focused on the conversation with Nyla that I haven’t noticed which was our destination. By the look of things, the Council is not only our destination, we seem to share that goal with Anakin and Obi-Wan.

“Hello, Nyla.” Obi-Wan greets my Master. “I see you received the message from Windu.” I frown at Nyla, as she answers.

“Yes, I have.”

“What message?” I inquire, curiously and slightly confused.

“Master Windu sent me a message when we were still in the balcony, he called the four of us for a meeting.” Nyla informs before turning her gaze away towards the door of the Jedi Council. 

“Do you know what this is about?” I glance at Anakin, who simply shakes his head.

“I have no idea.” He responds. “But I haven’t done anything wrong this time…” I smile at him, and contain myself from rolling my eyes at his comment.

The doors of the Council open, allowing the four of us to walk inside. Not all the Jedi Masters are here, only Master Yoda and Master Windu are physically present, while the rest are either holographic projections or, not here at all. I 

“Welcome, Kenobi and Kelrian.” Master Windu welcomes our Masters into the room. “Thank you for your quick appearance, and for bringing your Padawans with you.” Nyla and Obi-Wan both politely and gratefully bow before the Council.

“Informed we were, about Senator Amidala’s attack.” Master Yoda speaks looking at me. 

That little man always knows how to keep me on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Deep down, behind that wise and intellectual facade, a creature with an incredible ability to tease people and a great sense of humour is hiding. I am ninety-nine percent sure of that. Someone as old as Yoda definitely finds entertaining giving away information and building up the moment.

“We had a meeting with the Chancellor and the Senator, we agreed that the Senator must carry some protection in these circumstances.” Master Windu continues.

“Some propositions the Senator had.” Master Yoda adds, staring at me, again. I wait expectantly for them to tell us what has the agreement been. Master Windu now joins Master Yoda, and his gaze focuses on me.

“And we agreed to have you, Padawan Elara Montrose protect the Senator of Naboo,” As the words reach my ears, I give both Masters a faint and soft smile. However, I contain it, as I realise he hasn’t finished speaking. “With the company of your fellow Padawan Anakin Skywalker.” I look at Anakin, who nods obediently, which is very unlike him. 

“Is there a reason why I can’t do it on my own?” I ask the Council, narrowing my eyes with curiosity. Nyla steps forward, ready to speak.

"Although she's been training with me for almost two years, I have to admit she's a prodigy, if I may say so. She is constantly improving and working really hard to do so. I genuinely think she may be ready for this" She politely declares, standing next to me. There’s a brief exchange of looks between the Council, but Yoda’s eyes are fixed on me, narrowed and analysing the situation. I take a deep breath, intimidated by the way Master yoda is analysing the situation.

“Despite your Master’s insistence on your abilities to carry out missions on your own, we have decided it would be better to send you both without your Masters for this.” Master Windu asserts, with both of his hands resting on the arms of his Jedi Council chair. “They will have to inspect your progress and the state of the mission, but we believe this is the best way.”

“Without you Masters, this mission you will carry.” Master Yoda adds, after breaking free of his analytical state. “Successful you must be to prove that ready you are.”

I nod slowly and so does Anakin. In a matter of minutes, after we have been explained everything we have to do and the protocol we must follow, we are ordered to leave the room. Since Nyla and Obi-Wan still have to carry out their mission and we are not supposed to know, I assume that’s what they are going to speak about.

“I understand that you wanted to carry the mission alone, specially since you and Padmé are such good friends.” Anakin comments with a serious tone of voice, as we walk away from the Jedi Council through the halls of Temple. “I won’t bother much, don’t worry.” I frown at him and shake my head.

“What are you talking about?” I ask,, with confusion. “No, no, no, that’s not the problem, Anakin. That has never even been a problem.” I tell him with a smile, as i stop him in the middle of the hall. “If I have to do it with someone I am glad it’s you.” Anakin looks at me, puzzled.

“Then, what is it?”

“Well,” I start to say, searching for the right words to explain what I think. “You’re going to be my babysitter, in a way. And I hate that.” Anakin raises his eyebrows at me, with faint surprise.

“Wow… First of all, hate is a big word.” He comments, in an attempt of lightening the mood, also mirroring his Jedi teachings.

“Fine... I don’t like that.” I say, as we resume with our walk through the halls. “Better?”

“Sure,” He nods, with a smile on his face. “Second, I am not going to be your babysitter.”

“Anakin, you’re almost a Jedi Knight.” I remind him, with slight dejection. “They’re sending me with someone much more experienced, it’s like sending me with my Master.”

“Elara, I am flattered you compare me to your Master but,” He is the one that stops me now, and he frowns at me. “I am not a Jedi Knight, not yet.” He glances at the ground, probably feeling frustrated for not being one yet. I look at him, sensing his faint annoyance and vexation at the fact that his efforts are not being noticed either. However, it fades when he looks at me again. “Plus, I am not going to babysit you, you know how to protect yourself and I am not going to be supervising you.” He continues, turning away from what he was just feeling. “You might be more inexperienced than I am, but you’re more intelligent than me.”

I feel my eyes soften as I take in his words. For a second, I feel flattered and I feel my cheeks burning. I am overwhelmed, not by the words he has spoken, but by the way he spoke them. During that small moment, I am trapped in his blazing and radiant gaze. Yet, when my consciousness receives the true meaning of the words I frown heavily.

“Oh, Anakin, don’t say that,” I tell him, shaking my head with a small smile. I don’t want him to say things like that, because he is intelligent, and smart, and witty.

“It’s not bad, it’s just, the truth.” He responds, with a slight shrug. “We make a good team if we put those two together, my experience and your brains.” I shake my head again, but he puts his hands on my shoulders. I have to look at him, and I sense my own Force signature feeling the warmth of his. “We’ll earn the trust of the Council, you’ll see.” 

“I hope you’re right.” I murmur, almost mesmerized by the comforting and warm sensation he always turns out to be. He lets go of my shoulders, softly. That breaks my strange hypnotic trance.

“I am always right.” He smirks confidently.

“No,” I frown at him, amused with a strong frown. “You’re always lucky enough to be right.” He raises one of his eyebrows and nods slowly, looking away from me. 

“Then, let's hope luck is on our side.” He says, with his usual cocky attitude. He starts to walk away and I just stare at him. Sometimes Anakin confuses me, sometimes he annoys me, sometimes he amuses me, sometimes he encourages me, sometimes he cares for me… But mostly, he just makes me happy.

He turns around and raises his hands at the height of his hips, waiting for me to catch up to him.

Yeah, he makes me happy.

✰

"The situation is more dangerous than the Senator will admit."

"I am aware" I murmur, glancing at Padmé. She gives me a look, one that contains her from rolling her eyes at me in front of the rest of the people in the room. For example, Obi-Wan and Nyla are here, since they were assigned to check on us before they start continue with their mission.

"I don't need more security, I simply need answers. I want to know who's trying to kill me" She speaks now, with confidence and a serious expression in her face. I recognize this facade as Senator Amidala, not as my friend Padmé.

"We are here with the mission to protect you, but... Knowing who's committing this murder attempts can help us to keep them away from you." I explain seriously. 

"Investigation is not what you have to do" Obi-Wan recalls, with a small frown. "Your task is protecting Senator Amidala" I take a deep breath and stare at Obi-Wan. I can sense Padmé is uncomfortable for having to witness this, and also she won’t just accept simple protection, it just makes sense that she wants to make sure her assassin is caught.

"We will, of course, but if we find something we'll have to take the chance" Anakin adds, looking at his Master, as he defends me.

"Anakin, your job is to protect her" He repeats, getting much more serious with us. "And the same with you Elara" Nyla raises her eyebrows at Obi-Wan.

"You won't tell my Padawan what to do" She murmurs, before turning to look at me. Obi-Wan takes a deep breath, and my eyes divert to Padmé, who is looking at us with slight alertness. "Elara, you'll do what you have to do, protect her and if you find any clue about what is threatening her protection, you comm us" I nod and then she looks at Obi-Wan, with a small smile. In my head, I can completely hear her voice in my head, rubbing in how she handled the situation much better than he did. “Forgive us, Senator.”

“It’s no problem, I just hope this situation ends as soon as possible.” Padmé smiles nicely and politely. I have never seen her in this professional ambience, and I am very surprised at how good she is at this.

“It will, Senator,” Nyla speaks with a nice smile, before her eyes turn towards Anakin and me. “Despite what might seem, our Padawans are completely capable of this task.”

“I wouldn’t dare to think differently.” Padmé looks at both of us, and she dedicates me a nice smile. Following that, she stands up. "If you'll excuse me, I will retire now" Senator Amidala states, and everyone in the room stands. She walks away from the blue living room, and leaves the four of us with Captain Typho as she retires back to her room. 

“Well, I know I feel a lot better having you here.” The captain expresses with a faint relief. “I'll have an officer on every floor and I'll be at the command centre downstairs.” Anakin and I nod, before looking at each other. He bows before us, before disappearing behind the sliding doors of the living room.

 _We should speak with Padmé in private and see what she would want_. I comment, more privately, to Anakin.

 _I agree_. He smiles at me.

 _Good_. I smile back, as I give his a faint nod.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan calls Anakin, and both our gazes turn towards my friend’s Master, who looks unpleased with the situation.

“Obi-Wan, think about it.” Anakin replies, trying to explain our mindset about the current situation. “Why else do you think we were assigned to her, if not to find the killer? Protection is a job for local security... not Jedi. It's overkill, Master. Investigation is implied in our mandate.” I decide to not intervene, and simply witness the conversation. Anakin knows how to defend himself, and I don’t feel like having to defend myself in this moment.

“You will do as the Council has instructed, and you will learn your place, young one.” Obi-Wan shakes his head and walks away from the couches. Anakin is ready to reply, but Nyla follows Obi-Wan and she signals Anakin to stop. She will take care of this.

“Obi-Wan, you must admit he is right.”

“Don’t you have enough with undermining my authority once a day?” Obi-Wan asks, raising one of his eyebrows as Nyla crosses her arms over her chest.

“It’s never enough, I thought you would have noticed by now.” She murmurs with a smirk. “It’s my job to tell you what I consider is a questionable way of teaching your Padawan.”

“No, it’s really not.” Obi-Wan replies, shaking his head.

Anakin and I walk away from their upcoming argument. However, it’s not the first we have witnessed, we know it won’t last long. They usually have very fixed views and clash for around twenty minutes. Nyla is always saying that Obi-Wan should loosen up his strict teaching techniques, and Obi-Wan blames Nyla of exceeding the limits of freedom. Basically, for us, it’s just another day.

We walk to the enormous balcony that is located on one side of the living room, and we leave Obi-wan and Nyla behind. From up here, you can see the whole city. The airspeeders, the blinding neon lights and the variety life of Galactic City. Along with the movement and the light, there’s extreme levels of pollution, clear when you look at the horizon. There’s a thin line, dividing the clear sky, and the brownish fog that we have to breathe. Despite that, this balcony, at this height, displays the beauty of the high levels of the city, making almost invisible the menacing and desolate lower grounds. Everything worth watching always has a flaw. Especially, if it’s Coruscant.

✰

When it is nighttime in Padmé’s apartment for her and the service, the lights are lowered, and everyone leaves for bed. However, we have to stay awake to protect her. Tonight, Obi-Wan and Nyla are staying with us to normalize the situation. I’m laying on one of the luxurious couches that Padmé owns in her apartment. I keep my senses open, while I throw a tiny and tangerine ball up in the air, and catching it with my hands before it falls on my face. It’s all fun until it actually hits my nose.

"Ouch" I exclaim, as I gently rub my nose. I glance to the right, to find Anakin is looking at me amused, walking around the room. He stops in front of one of the glass panels of Padmé’s living room. 

"I told you to stop playing and get some sleep" He recalls, looking out of the window. I stand up and walk towards him.

"I know what you said but, what would you do if I fell asleep?" I reply, smiling at him nicely. There’s enough light to see how he rolls his eyes and scoffs. Obi-Wan enters the living room and walks over to the panel where we are keeping track of the camera recordings. However, now the screen is all pitch black.

"What's going on?" He asks staring at them confused, watching the black screen. I turn to look at him and shrug.

"Oh, she just covered the cameras" I inform, getting closer to the screen. "She wants privacy" Obi-Wan turns his gaze towards me and Anakin. Anakin stands still in his position near the glass panel.

"What was she thinking?" Obi-Wan asks, narrowing his eyes.

"She doesn’t like being observed, she needs to have her own space and the idea of someone watching her while she sleeps makes uncomfortable." I raise my eyebrows as I speak, receiving a tired look from Obi-Wan. "You asked me what was she thinking, and that’s the answer." I add, before he walks away from the screens towards Anakin.

"Don't worry, Obi-Wan, she programmed R2 to warn us if there is an intruder" He informs his Master, in an attempt of stopping Obi-Wan’s endless objections.

"There are many other ways to kill a Senator" I sigh and cross my arms over my chest, because we shouldn’t be fighting about this, we should try to do our best and at the same time respect Padmé’s wishes.

"Listen, one way of protecting Padmé-” Obi-Wan raises one of his eyebrows at me, wanting me to forget about my friendship with Padmé. “...The Senator is catching this assassin. If we get the assassin and we can solve who’s behind this assassination, we have already saved and protected her." I say, sitting on the couch once again. Anakin glances at Obi-Wan and he crosses his arms now. 

"You're using her as a bait..." He murmurs, narrowing his eyes at us. 

"It was her idea." Anakin confesses pointing towards Padmé's room.

"Anakin…” I murmur defeated. “She told us not to say" He doesn’t have time to react, because Obi-Wan immediately speaks again.

"I don't know if you're going to be capable of the mission" Obi-Wan mumbles with a doubtful frowning. 

I stare at him as a slight fire rises in my chest. I am capable, of course I am. The comment fuels me to stand up and walk next to the door of Padmé’s room. I grab the hilt of my lightsaber, just in case I have to use it, and I open my senses. As I do, it’s inevitable to suddenly feel Anakin’s strong presence.

"We can sense everything in the room" Anakin defends us, with a bitter tone in his voice.

"Your senses aren't that attuned, Anakin" Obi-Wan comments. Anakin’s eyes heatedly spark when they turn to look at his Master.

"And yours are?" He impulsively counters, regretting immediately as his facial expression softens.

"Possibly" Obi-Wan replies calmly, ignoring Anakin’s retort."You look tired" He mentions, glancing at Anakin. I witness an exchange of looks between the two men, and it gives me time to see the dark bags under his eyes. Obi-Wan is wrong, Anakin is not tired. Anakin is exhausted. Anakin lowers his gaze.

"I don't sleep well anymore, Master" He murmurs, looking out the window. He is clearly troubled, and doesn’t want to speak about it. I see a frown growing between Obi-Wan’s eyes, and before he is able to ask anything else, I hasten.

"Where's Nyla?" I ask, looking at the corridor, as I have noticed she hasn’t been here with us for a while. Obi-Wan’s attention diverts to me.

"She fell asleep, she was tired" Obi-Wan answers, calmly. 

I am about to nod, but there’s a mild disturbance in the Force. I instantly extend my senses further, and I feel with more intensity the agitation that will happen in a few seconds. Anakin must sense it too, because his eyes turn to look at me. We don’t have time to ask anything to each other, because we both feel it. We rapidly run towards Padmé’s room.

As the doors abruptly open, I frown when I see two slithering bugs on Padmé’s bed. Anakin ignites his lightsaber, and the room quickly turns blue. I add orange tints on the walls as I switch on my own. Anakin slices one of the nauseating creatures, while I take care of its sickening friend. This causes Padmé to dramatically sit up on her bed.

"Disgusting" I comment as a grimace appears in my head.

"Go get a speeder!" Obi-Wan, who followed us at a racing speed, orders. A second later, he is jumping out of the window and attaching himself to the droid that introduced the bugs into Padmé’s room. Anakin and I leave the room to help Obi-Wan and, on the way, we find Nyla running towards the Nabooian senator’s room. 

"What happened?" Nyla asks nervously, her eyes scanning at Anakin and me, checking for wounds or injuries.

"Stay here with the Senator while Elara and I go help Obi-Wan" Anakin tells Nyla, before he continues running to take a speeder.

"I'll explain later, Nyla!" I shout, as I follow Anakin, trying to catch up to his position. When I arrive at the small parking platform, he has already jumped inside of a speeder. He tilts his head, inviting me to jump into the speeder, next to him.

"Come on! We have something to do!" He exclaims impatiently, which makes me roll my eyes and jump inside. He doesn’t wait for a single second, and once I’m inside of the speeder we’re already on our way to reach Obi-Wan.

I notice Anakin is using the Force to track him, and in the middle of all the chaos, we see him in the distance. He increases the speed of the vehicle, and I have to hold on to the seat. I am aware Anakin loves driving and flying ships, but I like them enough to travel. This kind of dangerous speed and movements are too much for me. When my eyes turn to glance at Anakin I check the concentration on his face is mixed with a satisfactory smirk. 

However, my eyes go back to Obi-Wan as I see how a blaster shot is directed his way. It hits the droid, and as soon as the droid is fried, he is free falling into the lower grounds of the ecumenopolis. Anakin increases the speed again, before descending in an almost vertical angle.

"Anakin, please warn me before I have a heart attack!" I shout, feeling a tingling sensation in my gut and my breathing heavily weighting on me. He nods and looks up, as he places the speeder below Obi-Wan. I frown and look at him. “The speeder is double, he doesn’t fit here.”

“Yes, he does.” Anakin continues driving with one hand, while the other travels through my waist, to push me closer to him and sit between the two seats. As his hand leaves my waist and takes the wheel again, Obi-Wan lands on the back of the speeder. As he sits beside me and we are squeezed into the two-seat speeder, he looks at us.

"What took you so long?" Obi-Wan asks loudly. I frown at Obi-Wan, we just saved his life and that’s the first thing he says. Unbelievable.

"She didn't really like the speeders, you know" Anakin immediately replies jokingly, going along with Obi-Wan’s comment. Obi-Wan smiles amused, and although he knows it’s a joke, he doesn’t stop.

“And you couldn’t find one with three seats?”

"We’re here, aren’t we?" I ask, raising my eyebrows at him. “I am the one sitting in the middle, you’re welcome” I tell him with a smile. If someone is going to comment on the uncomfortable state of this trip, that’s me. I already sense this is going to be a very intense persecution.

"There he is" Obi-Wan states, pointing at another speeder ahead of us. Anakin speeds up and follows it, controlling the ship with fast movements. "If you spent as much time practicing your saber techniques as you do your wit... You would rival Master Yoda as a swordsman."

"I thought I already did" Anakin replies, with his very particular cockiness. Obi-Wan scoffs loudly, and we hold on to the ship as Anakin makes an unexpected movement to follow the speeder upwards.

"Only in your mind, my very young apprentice" Obi-Wan adds, as he looks at the front again narrowing his eyes.

Anakin continues chasing the speeder, turning in an exaggeratedly dramatic way, and I have to hold on to him a couple of times. Then, the other speeder decides to turn its direction downwards, and Anakin does the vertical thing again.

"Anakin, I really don't like this!" I shout closing my eyes, holding on to his arm and Obi-Wan’s seat while the airspeeder flies vertically, in direction of the lower and glowing grounds of Coruscant. He tries to look at me, but I hit punch his arm when he tries to take his eyes off the front. “I don't want to die yet, Anakin"

Then, a massive ship appears below us. Obi-Wan’s face is suddenly filled with worry and a slight sense of fear.

"Pull up, Anakin. Pull up!" Obi-Wan says nervously.

As I hold on to Anakin, I can just hear his laugh and enjoyment of the situation. What a man. I lock my gaze on him, until he finally pulls up. Then, he looks at me and keeps chuckling, amused.

"You know I don't like it when you do that" Obi-Wan reminds him.

"Sorry, I forgot you two don't like flying" Anakin smirks, as he focuses on the rest of airspeeders in front of us, dodging them as our fast airspeeder leaves them behind.

"I don't mind flying, but what you're doing is suicide!" Obi-Wan admits, looking at Anakin.

We continue following the assassin, through an open space with a large variety of exhausting pipes that let smoke and fire out into the surface. I frown as Anakin successfully avoids hitting all the exhaust tubes. After we leave that sector, we watch how the speeder decides to access a tunnel, one which Anakin misses, as he passes it.

"He went that way, Anakin" I point at the entrance nervously. His driving skills are far too advanced and reckless for me to stay calm.

"If we keep this chase going any longer that creep is gonna end up deep-fried... And I'd very much like to find out who he is and who he's working for" He explains with confidence. I nod slowly, sighing deeply. "This is a shortcut. I think" I look at him from the corner of my eye and see he's smirking. When we reach the spot where the assassin should be, there’s no sign of the speeder.

"Well, you've lost him" Obi-Wan points out.

"You don't say" I murmur as my eyes scan the area. “He must be close, though.”

"I'm deeply sorry, Master" Anakin mumbles not really feeling it and looking down at the rest of speeders. I frown at his response and raise an eyebrow, knowing what he is about to do.

"That was some shortcut, Anakin. He went completely the other way. Once again you've proved-" Obi-Wan gets cut off when Anakin jumps off the speeder.

"If you'll excuse me" He says before leaving the pilot’s seat, and free falling into the lower levels of the city. I look down, as I hold on to the edge of the speeder. I take his seat and Obi-Wan shakes his head, disapprovingly. 

"I hate it when he does that" Obi-Wan comments, putting his hand over his forehead.

I raise my eyebrows and start the speeder, hoping I don’t crash us against a skyscraper or the rest of vehicles. I take a deep breath, grab the wheel and I just… Trust the Force.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, I hope you are all well. We have finally reached Attack of the Clones territory and I am living for it. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, next one is from Anakin's point of view. Stay safe!
> 
> Laura.


	12. Protection

[ _anakin_ ]

 _Ouch_. I think as I stand up from the cold ground of what I recognize as Coruscant’s Entertainment District. I watch how the assassin, who has resulted to be a woman and a changeling, gets out of the crashed speeder she had been piloting on the way here. As a crowd starts to surround her, I start to move my legs towards her. I run, making my way through the crowded and curious Coruscanti people. Without my lightsaber, the only thing I can do now is not lose track of where she is. I rush after her as she walks into a club.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan shouts, making me stop running in the entrance of the club. I point at the club before looking at Obi-Wan again.

"She went into the club, Master" I inform.

"Patience. Use the Force. Think" Obi-Wan orders me. "He went in there to hide, not to run" Obi-Wan points out, before I am able to go inside of the club. I look inside and nod slowly, knowing Obi-Wan is right.

"Yes, Master" I see how Obi-Wan shows me my lightsaber, and his eyes soften.

"Next time, try not to lose it" He hands me my lightsaber, and I take it with a nod.

"Yes, Master"

"This weapon is your life" He reminds me, for the hundredth time.

"I try, Master" I instinctively respond, before my eyes see that Elara is walking towards us. I sense a slight disturbance coming from her Force signature, and I frown looking at her.

“Are you alright, Elara?” I ask, worried about her. This makes Obi-Wan turn around to look at her, confused. That proves nothing must have happened while I was gone that could have bothered her. Or maybe it was the fact that I jumped, and she had to drive all the way here.

"Yeah, I think I'm staying here, you know, just if he decides to leave" She tells me with a smile, but it seems forced. I extend my senses, and I can feel she’s nervous, afraid almost. I don’t want to leave her alone, not when I keep perceiving that heavy disturbance that weights on the energy around her.

“I think he is a she, and I think she is a changeling” I add. “It would be useless for you to be out here.” She nods, and Obi-Wan walks in first into the club. Elara rushes next to me and we step inside together, side by side. That seems to comfort her for a moment.

“In that case, be extra careful,” Obi-Wan warns, as we reach some steps that lead us down into the club.

The place is crowded, there are people in the counter, others that are sitting down in booths and small groups of people scattered around the room, standing in small circles. The bar is poorly illuminated, specially since the only illumination are red and purple neon lights that are reflected on the walls. As our eyes scan the room, I recognize this place, I know I have been here before.

“Go and find her.” Obi-Wan orders, as he starts to walk away from us. I see Elara is beyond confused with obi-Wan’s actions as a frown appears in her face.

"Where are you going, Master?" I ask, frowning too.

“For a drink” He replies, with an almost invisible smile.

He walks in direction of the counter, and my eyes scan the room again, extending my senses further to find for any kind of disturbance. However, the strongest thing my senses can detect is Elara’s unease. I turn to look at her one more time, and her gaze is carefully inspecting the club.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, and she is forced to turn her gaze towards me. When she does, I can see her eyes are bright, wide and filled with fearful anxiety.

"I just think there's someone in here I don't want to see." Elara states, as my eyes take in the image of an Elara I had never seen before. She’s afraid, and anxious. That's not my Elara."Don't leave me alone, please." She whispers as we start walking around the club, slowly.

In that moment, my eyes turn towards the room, and I realize I have been there before. It is familiar, because this is where Elara used to work. This is where I convinced her to give the Jedi Order a try. This part of the life Elara is so desperately trying to leave behind now, which is ironic, taking into account how at the beginning she was completely opposed to the idea of being a Jedi.

My brain works out the situation. If she used to work here, she definitely knows who frequents the club, how much and when. And she doesn’t want to see someone. Someone that might have treated her wrong, someone who might have threatened her; someone who hurt her.

"I won't, don't worry.” I promise, 

“Elara?” I hear a voice calling her, and Elara grabs my arm in shock. We both turn around, and find a Rodian male, who is standing in front of us. “It’s been such a long time!” Elra takes a deep breath and nods, with a relieved smile.

“Oh, Lartag,” She greets nicely, recovering from the sudden fear. “Yeah, it’s good to see you’re still alive.” I look at her, and she is still holding my arm. She’s safe now, and meanwhile my eyes travel through the room, looking for the assassin. “How’s your business?”

“Going smoothly, as always.” The Rodian answers funnily, and by the tone of his voice, that business of his doesn’t sound entirely legal. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“I’m afraid we are in a bit of a rush.” Elara says quickly, before we turn around.

When we do, I see a human man, tall as the skyscrapers of Coruscant and strong as a Bantha. The smirk he is freely displaying in his face unsettles me, and there’s an increase of the anxiety Elara is irradiating. I have a _very_ bad feeling about this.

“Look what we have here…” He murmurs, as he walks towards us, his eyes are focused on Elara, and sparking with a certain fire I can’t help but wish was extinguished. “My beautiful Elara...” He stares at Elara, extending his enormous and filthy hand to caress her cheek. No one should dare to touch her, less with that burn behind their eyes. Elara, steps back, trying to create distance between the man and her. I step in front of her, as an infuriating sensation fills my chest. “And she’s brought company.” He scoffs.

“Kato” Elara responds, putting a hand on my arm, in an attempt to calm my increasing fury towards this man from erupting.

I don’t know who he is, or what has he done, but I can see just by feeling the disturbance that has been established in Elara’s energy, that this man is no good. I know she doesn’t need protection, but there’s a natural impulse inside me to protect her.

“What are you doing here?” The gigantic man asks, raising his eyebrows as with a wide smile he displays, not only his teeth, but his arrogance and malice. “Did you come to see me?”

“I will only warn you once, leave me alone.” Elara says, pulling me away from the man. A good idea, if we take into account what happens in my chest whenever this man speaks. A strong and powerful fire, burning my insides.

“Three years away and you haven't changed a thing…” He comments, as his eyes inspect her from her head to her feet. His gaze sets on me, and he scoffs. “Well, something did change, at least you finally hang out with boys.” She narrows her eyes at him. My hands tighten into fists, and I step forward, just to be stopped by Elara as she grabs my wrist. “Are you still bitter about that night?” Elara lets go of my wrist, and steps before me.

“Bitter?” She asks, with her eyes narrowed towards him, with rage flowing through her dark eyes. I have never seen her this way. I would have never thought her kind and warming smile would be replaced by fear and revengeful look. “I should _kill_ you for what you did, Kato.” She immediately says, with spiking fury is every word. “At least I would make sure you leave people alone when they say _no_.”

Her last words make me stand still, clenching my fists into balls. In my mind, I picture quick flashes of a scene that makes my chest burn inside. I see this man trying to- I shake my head, because I don’t want to see that; I can’t see that. Elara can’t go through that. I can’t let anyone harm her.

“Huh… So I guess you’re a bigger bitch now.” He comments, glancing at Elara with disgust. My patience has reached its limit, and my need to push this man with the Force makes me raise my hand. However, I stop as Elara’s fist collides with the man’s face. Everyone around us stares at her with shock, but she seems unbothered by the fact that she’s the center of attention in this part of the club.

"If I am a bitch for defending myself, I’ll gladly be that person" She mutters before her hand surrounds the hilt of her lightsaber. I want to stop her, before he does something foolish, but the guards that surround this Kato take their blasters and point them at Elara. She ignites her lightsaber, placing it in front of the man’s face. "Maybe you’ll learn to respect women now" As she says those words, it seems everyone goes back to their business. That’s how this place works. It’s not particular care, it’s a case of general curiosity.

The guards keep their blasters pointed towards Elara, and I wave their weapons off with the Force. Elara stares at Kato, in a furious trance. I have to help her get out of that hypnotical state of hurt; I have to take her away from them, from the club. I use the Force to push the guards into a booth, and I grab Elara’s hand. I walk away of the area. That’s when, between laughs, groups dancing and the deafening music, Elara is stopped by an old familiar face.

"Elara?" The man I recognize as Elara’s ex-coworker, Iago, asks. She stares at him, with surprise and certainly lost. Whatever went through her head back there, completely misplaced her.

“Iago…” She lets out, as a small smile finally appears in her face. The familiar man approaches her and wraps his arms around her. Whatever Elara has been through in this club, I can’t help but think that this man might have helped her, supported her, even protected her.

“It’s been so long… How are you?” He asks with a wide smile, before his eyes land on me. His gaze displays confusion, as he most probably remembers me as the man who took Elara away. However, whatever he might be thinking about me, he shrugs it off. He inspects Elara as he pulls away. “Oh my… You look amazing, girl!"

“Thanks Iago, you look good too,” She nicely replies, not really taking time to be excited at seeing him again. She probably is, but now it’s not the best moment.

"Why are you so serious? I thought I was never going to see you again!" He exclaims happily. "Come, I'll get you a drink" He invites both of us, as his eyes also look at me. However, I see both of Kato’s bodyguards wandering around the club, looking for us. There’s no need to warn Elara, because when she glances at me, I know she saw them too.

"Iago, I’d love to, and it was really nice seeing you but I... have to go." She says quickly, before leaving a kiss on his cheek. “We’ll see each other again, I know we will.”

I notice my hand is still attached to hers, and I simply have to pull from it to rush away from the club. Just in time, we find Obi-Wan cutting the hands of our suspected assassin. Everyone around Obi-Wan looks at him, and as I step in front of him, Elara helps him with the task of taking the assassin outside of the club.

"Jedi business, go back to your drinks,” I order, with a serious expression in my face. I follow Elara and Obi-Wan, who are walking towards another different exit. When we are outside of the club, we are in an deserted alley. Obi-Wan and Elara drop the suspected assassin to the ground, although Obi-Wan still holds her.

“Do you know who it was you were trying to kill?” He asks, raising his eyebrows, but keeping a polite tone of voice.

“The Senator from Naboo.” The woman painfully responds, and I frown as Elara stands up. She’s too unsettled to carry an interrogation right now, specially when the subject was just trying to assassinate one of her best friends.

“Who hired you?” Obi-Wan interrogates, now his voice becoming harsher as he looks at Elara from the corner of his eyes. It was an assassination carried out willingly and knowingly. However, the injured woman just shakes his head, glaring at Obi-Wan.

“It was just a job.”

“Tell us who hired you.” I demand, getting closer to the woman. I need this to end now, for Elara. She needs to get out of here, and I have to do for her what she can’t do right now, protect Padmé.

“That Senator's gonna die soon anyway, and the next one won't make the same mistake I did…” She ignores my question, and meanwhile, Obi-Wan looks at the injury in her shoulder with a frown.

 **“** This wound's going to need treatment.” He murmurs.

“But it won’t get any if we don’t learn who hired you.” Elara suddenly states, staring at the changeling woman with ice in her eyes. The growing worry in Obi-Wan’s eyes and Elara’s need for a moment to breathe push me to get the information we need. We have no time to lose.

“Who hired you?” I ask loudly, in a shout. She blinks at me, and so does Obi-Wan. “Answer!” I raise my voice, earning a hateful glare from the changeling assassin.

 **“** It was a Bounty Hunter called…” She starts to speak, but a sudden quick sound interrupts her, as a dart is nailed into her neck. Her face starts to shift, and soon her human face is replaced by her original and real appearance. Her true face reveals her clawdite nature, and her skin turns olive-green.

We look towards the direction where the dark was shot from. As we do, we see a figure in what seems to be an armour taking off from a roof of a nearby building. He is using his jetpack to fly away. I know for a moment Elara ponders the thought of following him, but she realizes that's a lost opportunity to catch who is behind this.

Obi-Wan looks down at the now corpse of our suspect, taking the metallic dart between his fingers, as he narrows his eyes. While he inspects it, I try to recognize the pattern, but I am unable to. Elara seems lost too. However, we are all able to recognize what it is:

“Toxic dart…” Obi-Wan murmurs. 

“We should inform Senator Amidala about the situation. She's not safe in Coruscant.” She informs, now appearing more controlled and tempered than before. However, I can see she still needs a break, a moment to take in the situation and breathe. Elara starts to walk away from the scene. “I will go to get the speeder… And I’ll contact Nyla.” Obi-Wan nods at her.

“I will go with her, Master.” I inform as I stand up, looking at Obi-Wan and waiting for his approval.

“Of course, I’ll be right here.” He responds.

I run after Elara, who seems to be too focused on whatever is going through her mind to pay attention to anything else. I hate to see her this troubled. There is pain behind her eyes, coming from her own mind. I sense her conflict as if it was mine, or maybe it is. I am not in the best mindset either, but I can forget about it for a moment for her. She has to be fine, and she needs to know I am here with her; she needs to know I want to be with her if she needs me.

“Elara,” I tell her, softly grabbing her arm and making her stop before we can reach the speeder. She looks at me, with lost eyes.

The girl behind that controlled facade she displays is here, in front of me, and she is lost and overwhelmed. I knew of her existence, I just thought she was never going to allow me to see her. Her eyes have pain, regret, frustration… All the things she has been keeping to herself.

“I am sorry for what happened-I’m sorry you had to witness it.” She starts to say, avoiding my gaze, as I sense a wave of embarrassment coming from her. “I’m sorry… I don’t even know why.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I just- I need to breathe, I don’t want to speak about it.” I stare at her, as my hand simply falls down her arm, and she finally opens her eyes. Her dark orbs are fixed on me, and I feel my heart racing, beating at the same speed the engines of the speeder must have been working during the speeder chase.

“It’s fine, I know,” I respond, softly. My fingers linger around the soft touch of her hand, as her fingertips softly stroke mine. “I just wanted you to know that… I won’t tell anything to Obi-Wan.” I give her a soft, small smile, one I know she will appreciate. “I promise.” Her penetrating look makes me hold my breath, as her dark and bright eyes gaze at me. Then, she lets go of my hand, giving me the tiniest of smiles.

“Thank you, Anakin.” After that, she turns towards the speeder and just jumps inside, taking her comm-link to contact Nyla, pretending that nothing has happened. But I know the truth.

✰

After Obi-Wan took the corpse for further examination and identification, Elara and I accompanied Nyla to Padmé’s apartment. We discussed the events with my old Nabooian friend, who determined it would be a good idea for the Jedi Council to decide what to do next. Elara seems tired, which is why I think padmé gave in so easily, she noticed Elara needed to sleep.

Elara finally got some sleep in Padmé’s apartment, while Nyla and I kept an eye on the Senator. However, my mind was divided between protecting the Senator and making sure everything was alright with Elara. While she was asleep, she was at peace, or at least I felt her at peace. Sleeping doesn’t have the same effect for her as it does with me.

The assassin has turned out to be a bounty hunter called Zam Wesell, natural from the planet Zolan. Zolan is the planet where clawdites come from. It all seems like a plot to prevent Padmé from speaking before the Republic’s Senate about the Military Creation Act, as part of the opposition. Right now, we are reporting the state of the mission to the council, who decides the way we will carry it out.

As Obi-Wan explains the sequence of events, I glance at Elara. I haven’t had the chance to speak with her yet. I have been awake almost all night, and that has led me to ask myself many questions. Many questions that I need her to answer. I want her to feel better and safe. She does look better now, much better as her face has regained the warm color of her cheeks, and her eyes have recovered some of its spark. And she feels more at peace now, but not completely.

"Find out who is behind this, Master Kenobi and Master Kelrian will." Yoda speaks, taking me out of my thoughts. Obi-Wan and Nyla exchange a quick glance. "Go to check this army, Master Windu's task will be."

"And Master Yoda, how are we supposed to do that?" Nyla asks with a slight confusion. 

She is not wrong, there are no leads. Only an unknown dart and a dead clawdite. However, it is not my problem, since that mission wasn’t assigned to us. For a moment, I frown at the ground. That wasn’t my thought. I glance at Elara, who seems at peace, but behind her eyes I sense a glittering touch of frustration. This mission meant a lot for her, and now that our Masters are involved directly with the mission, I assume she is even more frustrated than before.

 _Try to not be as transparent with your thoughts_. I warn her, and her gaze finally settles on me. She slightly narrows her eyes in confusion, before looking at the Council again.

 _What are you talking about?_ She responds, as her calm appearance returns to her face. I am surprised that the Jedi Council hasn’t been able to sense or read this strange connection that we have. the fact that we can stand here, talking between ourselves, without the Council noticing it, makes me wonder about what we’ve been taught about the Force.

 _Maybe they still assign us her protection, we have to do what our Masters always say_ -

 _Patience. Yeah, I am trying._ She replies, looking at me from the corner of her eyes. I don’t understand how she always gets me to support her. I have come to realize it’s something natural for me, to comfort her and help her. I would never say most of the things I tell her to anyone else in the entire galaxy. Yet, she gets to witness what the rest of living beings never will.

“You have to also check on your Padawans while you investigate.” Master Windu orders, and I realize I hadn’t been paying attention to what they had been speaking about.

“And what should we do, Master Windu?” I ask, with a small frown. Elara takes a deep breath as we both stare at Yoda’s right hand man.

“You will take Senator Amidala to her home planet Naboo, she'll be safer there than in here.” He orders looking at both of us. “Anakin, you will go and talk to the Chancellor about the situation, and Elara you will go to speak with Senator Amidala.”

After they explain the protocol we should proceed and the rules both us and the Senator have to follow, we are excused to leave. As I walk out of the Jedi Council, a thought crosses my mind. I really want to speak with Elara, but now we both have other things to do. I decide I’ll talk with her after she finishes gathering everything she needs for the mission. 

During the meeting with the Chancellor, I find it hard to concentrate, as my mind keeps drifting away to Elara. Despite his praises and encouragements, I want to finish the meeting soon. I really appreciate his faith in me, but right now it’s not what I need exactly. It works its purpose, because he assures me that Padmé will leave for Naboo, for her own safety.

Once I have finished preparing my own bag, I walk towards Elara’s room in the dormitories. There’s a nervous wave that shocks me when I am in front of her door. I don’t know if she wants to speak about it, or how will she react when I bring it up. I just want to be sure she is fine. I just want what’s best for her. I knock on the door.

“Come in” I hear her voice responding, from the other side of the door.

The door automatically slides as I press the button that sends the command to open the room. I see Elara is still getting her bag ready for the trip. I sense she is nervous. Maybe having to protect padmé in Naboo won’t be such a bad idea, she could use a break. She glances at me, with a small smile. “Oh, hi. I’m not… Ready yet.” She tells me, before looking at her bag, which is on top of her bed, one more time. She knows why I am here.

“It’s fine. I can help you if you want to.” I offer, leaving my own bag by the door, as it closes again. She quickly shakes her head, as I am walking towards her.

“No, I can do it.” I look at her hands as she folds one of her tops, and she seems to be shaking. I can’t see her like this. As she leaves the top inside of her bag, I put both of my hands on top of hers.

"Elara,” I murmur, wanting her to focus her attention on me. “You can talk to me now.” She deeply breathes, and a dispiriting glow appears in her eyes. I hold her hand tightly, trying to comfort her.

“I shouldn’t, you know?” She replies, narrowing her eyes with confusion. “I shouldn’t let all this affect me.”

“But it already is.” I mumble with worry. “I can’t look at you and see you’re suffering.”

“Anakin, you know I don’t talk about my past.” She states, with a slight frown. “And you don’t speak about yours either, you understand.” I stare at her, and I know she is right.

There’s so many things I would have told her, many times. There’s things that hurt me, that I would like her to know. Sometimes, I just need her help. But she can’t help if she doesn’t know. I want her to know; I want her to know so she can be there, with me.

“Maybe we should start to change that.” I respond, with hope. She locks her gaze on me, and I see the same hopefulness in her eyes. Hope to find peace, to erase the pain.

“My past is not pleasant.” She warns, still holding on to the hope that has grown in this moment.

“Neither is mine.” I respond, not willing to let this progress go. For a couple of seconds, it feels like we’re just going to hold on to the hopefulness forever, never truly embracing its significance. But I have to turn that hope to move on from the pain into a reality. “Who was that man, Elara? What did he do to you?” I ask her slowly, and she takes a deep, shaky breath.

“When I worked in the club I was used to men looking at me, staring at me, and I could imagine what went through their heads.” She explains, giving me enough information to know what she is talking about. “This guy was the creepiest of them. He had weird proposals everyday, and one day… One day he tried to- You know,” She makes a pause, as her gaze travels away from me. I know what she means, but I must admit it is a topic that we have never discussed, and it feels embarrassing. “He tried to have sex with me, but I didn't want to.” I contain myself from tightening my grip around her hand. As I picture the scene in my head, I try to not harm her delicate and soft hand. If I had known this yesterday, I would have pushed him with the Force, I would have let Elara punch him and kick him all she wanted to. We should have let him to rot. “I managed to get away from there, Iago helped me, and I asked my boss to get the days he came by free. I gave up part of my salary so I didn’t see him.”

“Elara…” I let out, only wanting to wrap my arms around her and bring her comfort, peace.

“When I saw him yesterday, I was scared.” She continues, as a tear falls down one of her rosy cheeks. “I think I just remembered how I felt that day. I remember the fear, and how defenseless and vulnerable I felt. I was just fifteen, and I had no idea about what to do...” She shakes her head, taking a moment to breathe, and I just look at her. I’m now overwhelmed at the idea of Elara suffering. “I am not weak, not anymore. But I just- I was overwhelmed.” I understand why. I step closer and finally give in into the hug that had crossed my mind. “I’m really sorry, Anakin.”

“No, I am sorry.” I murmur, as I tightly wrap my arms around her small but strong figure. “I promise you I won’t let anyone harm you.” She quietly sobs, as her arms surround my neck and her head rests on my chest. “If someone ever dares to hurt you, they’ll have to go through me.” I start to say, as I close my eyes, containing my rising anger at the scene I keep replaying in my head. “I know you can handle yourself, but still: if someone hurts you, I will make them pay for it.” She nods, without breaking the hug, just resting her head on my chest. 

“Thank you, Anakin.” She whispers, looking up at me.

As I open my eyes and I find her looking up at me, I get caught up in the warmth and familiarity of her chestnut coloured eyes. Ever since I met her, when I look into those eyes, I feel like I have known those eyes forever. As her gaze is fixed on me, my mind wonders. I don’t know who needs this moment and this hug more. Clearly, Elara needs to feel comforted and supported, something that comes naturally for me. But I need it too, I need to feel her here with me, to ensure her safety. I need her to feel and be safe; happy. In her eyes, I feel there’s a promise. I just have to learn how to read it.

✰

“Nyla, I'll be fine” Elara assures her Master, taking her bag. Nyla raises an eyebrow at her and nods, sighing.

"Okay... Then go, before I start behaving like a really annoying, older sister.” Her Master tells her with a soft chuckle, holding her hand. Obi-Wan and I walk towards them, side by side, followed by Padmé and her security captain.

“Then what have you been doing for two years?” I hear Elara joke at her Master. When we left the Jedi temple to pick up padmé, Elara felt immensely better. She does look like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. Maybe sharing our pasts is not a bad idea.

“I taught you well.” Nyla murmurs, amused. Then, when Obi-Wan and I reach their position, Nyla looks at both of us. “I already told Elara, but I want a daily report, alright? Wherever you go, and whatever the Senator does, I want it written down” I nod with a small smile.

“We will, Nyla.” I respond, and Elara smiles at me with her eyebrows raised. The reporting is definitely going to be a boring task, and whenever someone has to write something, it’s true she ends up working on most of it. But I won’t let her this time, I have promised myself that this is an easy mission. I want Elara to rest and enjoy the wonderful place that I remember Naboo to be.

Padmé calls for Elara’s help with the suitcases she is taking to Naboo. She quickly embraces her Master between her arms, and I turn to look at Obi-wan, taking my own suitcase.

“Master, I have to admit I'm glad I'm going with Elara.” I mumble to Obi-Wan. My Master and old friend shoots me a comforting smile, putting his hand on my shoulder. "If anything happens… Well, Elara is a great duelist.”

“Oh, Anakin…” Obi-Wan laughs softly. “A lightsaber isn't what makes you the greatest Jedi.” I frown at Obi-Wan, who is widely smiling at me. Maybe he also hugs me, and encourages me to carry the mission. “You're going to do alright but, remember to follow my orders, be careful and protect Padmé.” I nod and look at the ground with a small smile.

“Of course, Master” I respond, knowing he still doesn’t fully trust me. I wish he did.

“Don't do anything without consulting it with me first, okay?” Obi-Wan says, raising his eyebrows. I nod heavily and raise my own eyebrows at him.

“Yes, Master.”

I take the rest of Padmé’s suitcases, and I walk out of the transport into the docking bay. The three of us are wearing refugee clothing, Padmé, however, looks the most extravagant of the three of us. But she’s Padmé, I would be surprised if she just decided to wear a simple and dark green jumpsuit like the one Elara is wearing.

It may be simple, but it still manages to catch my attention. I am used to seeing her wear the same monotonous and earthly tones of the Jedi clothes. To begin with, she usually wears knee-high boots, which have now been replaced with a pair of ankle-high black boots. The high neck of the jumpsuit is similar to the to the high neck of her Jedi jumpsuit undergarment. Since Jedi normally wear a set of layers, Elara is now wearing less than usual, and she’s probably more comfortable because of it. Usually, over the champagne Jedi jumpsuit, she would wear a thin and short, rose beige colored dress, which would be covered by a caramel robe that would be wrapped around her torso in a complex and elaborated way. However, now she is just wearing a dark jacket, with bell sleeves. In summary, she looks different, but still essentially beautiful.

“May the Force be with you.” Nyla tells us before we leave in direction of the ship. Elar and I both reply with appreciatory smiles, and Elara responds with:

“May the Force be with you.”

After that, we start our journey by, firstly, boarding the big ship. It is darker than I would have expected at first, but soon our eyes adapt to the poor light of the interior of the ship.

“I'm finally bringing you to Naboo, finally my dreams come true.” Padmé exclaims with excitement as we arrive to the corner where we are going to stay during to journey to Padmé’s homeworld. Elara laughs, and shakes her head. “You’re going to love it.”

“Am I going to enjoy the journey too? This is the longest I have ever been travelling.” Elara comments, probably noticing the fact right now. I sit down and watch both women chat. Padmé glances at Elara with her eyes narrowed in confusion.

“Really? I thought you had been to Telos.” Padmé comments, taking off her long coat and sitting down on a small seat. Elara rolls her eyes, something she rarely does. I know she would do it much more if she didn’t have to contain herself in front of our Masters. I shake my head, because I know she hasn’t been to Telos.

"I didn't. My master had a mission there, and I wanted to go with her, but I had to stay studying in the Temple." She replies, sitting next to Padmé and in front of me. “Sometimes you really don’t listen to me…”

“You know, I was probably thinking about my job. It’s not an easy task to work as a Senator.” Padmé comments, raising her eyebrows defensively at Elara. “I am a workaholic…”

“You don’t say.” Elara mumbles sarcastically, looking around the room.

It’s nice to see them have such a good relationship. Padmé has been my friend for a long time, ever since I left Tatooine. And Elara… They are both very important to me. Without Padmé, I would have never been taken to Coruscant and I wouldn’t have been able to help Elara at the beginning. She, in a way, helped us both to join the Jedi Order. Although I enjoy watching them talk and discuss, I am extremely tired. I haven’t slept in more than twenty hours, and even though I know I won’t last long, I still need to rest my eyes for a while. I lay down in a bed prepared in our corner, closing my eyes. I feel how I quickly start to drift off, and I can only hope to have a nice sleep, and dream with something different. I don’t want to have those dreams again.

✰

There she is. She is screaming, in pain. Sweat and blood in her face, as the light of a fire reflects in her aching eyes. I call her, but she can’t hear me. She is suffering, hurting.. She is in agony, and I can’t do anything about it. She can’t hear me, I can’t touch her, I can’t even see her still. The flashes of her torment replay in my head, and I feel my heart is going to break. My throat feels tangled, and my lungs are burning. She’s alone, she’s hurting and I can’t help her. Her son can’t help her, the one that abandoned her in that forsaken desert planet.

“Anakin?” I hear a soft familiar voice calling me, between all the screaming coming from my hurting mother. “Anakin, wake up.” The image of my mother quickly goes away, as if a hurricane is recollecting the worst images inside of my mind.

I open my eyes, letting a large quantity of light enter my iris. I feel a pair of soft hands on me, and I quickly sit up. When my eyes settle with the amount of light they are receiving, I see Elara’s worried gaze locked on me.

“Elara…” I whisper, with relief and recovering a breath I didn’t know I was missing. She keeps one hand on my shoulder, as she sits on the edge of the bed, beside me.

“Are you alright?” She asks, as her other hand softly caresses my cheek. The touch is enough to send a shiver down my spine, waking me completely in a matter of seconds.

“I’ll be fine, yeah.” I respond, as I bring a hand to my forehead, taking a deep breath. My lungs seem to appreciate the air, and I turn my legs to the right, to sit on the edge of the bed, like Elara. Her hand has to leave my cheek, and although I would like it to stay there, I know it shouldn’t.

“Looks like you were having a nightmare.” She comments, placing both of her hands on top of her laps. I glance at her, with a sudden wave of worry and anxiety. I remember the images, the flashes of the horrifying scene in my mind. She doesn’t know much about me, about my past. I have never spoken with her about it, but to be fair, I have never spoken about it with anyone.

“Yeah…” I mumble, with a heavy frown. “Was I saying something?” I turn my head, to check her face. I want to know if she’s physically displaying the worry she is irradiating. Her eyebrows are curved, with sympathy and concern. 

“You were calling your mother.” She answers, before looking at the ground. My eyes are locked on her, while my mind thinks about what I told her a couple of hours ago.

“Yes, I left my mother a long time ago... I miss her.” I whisper, as the thought crosses my mind. Our mothers and our pasts are things we should talk about, to find some peace, together. To help each other. I open my mouth, to tell her about what my dreams are about, about the agony I see my mother in, and how guilty I feel for that scene. However, Padmé appears before I can explain anything. Then, I realize it is not the moment, nor the place.

“Oh, Anakin, you’re awake.” Padmé suddenly states, with a small smile. “I saw they have prepared some food for everyone, we should be having something to eat, shouldn’t we?” Padme says, pointing towards the place where the crew is serving the food.

“Yes, of course, let’s go.” I respond, before I stand up. Elara stares at me, but eventually she stands up. 

We walk towards the dining court of the ship. The metallic bar is filled with different types of food, of questionable quality. This is a refugee ship, I doubt it will be the best food I have ever tasted. I settle with a green soup and some meat with a brownish sauce, labeled as stewed bantha meat.

Elara and Padmé choose a fruit salad, and while Elara gets the bantha meat as well, Padmé gets a slice of a pie labeled as _Saedrin_. As I pick the fork and the spoon, I sense Elara’s eyes are focused on me. I can feel her worry, but I can’t do anything about it now. We sit down in a small table and eat the food in our trays.

“Must be difficult, having sworn your life to the Jedi,” Padme mumbles after finishing her slice of the _Saedrin_ pie. “Not being able to visit the places or do the things you like…” I stare at the stew, and I sigh slightly. It is difficult, very difficult.

“Or be with the people that we love,” I complete her comment, earning the confused gaze of Padmé and the attentive eyes of Elara.

“I thought the idea of love was forbidden for a Jedi.” Padmé remarks, as she slightly narrows her eyes.

"Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love... is central to a Jedi's life" He explains. "So you might say that we are encouraged to love"

“Yeah… But it’s complicated. Loving someone and at the same time being a Jedi…” “If I, for example, were to fall in love with someone, I would leave the Jedi Order.”

“What?” I immediately and instinctively ask. Elara looks at me, with a small frown. I realize I am frowning too, and I look down at my food again, trying to soften my expression.

“Being a Jedi is a hard thing if you love someone.” She explains, with her eyes fixed on me. “It just makes sense to leave it.” Padmé nods happily. But I don’t; I can’t. How could I be happy if she leaves the Jedi Order? How could I be happy watching one of the reasons that keeps me in the Order go? Because she is, she keeps me there, she makes me a better Jedi and a better person.

“So, I guess in that case I would be able to attend your wedding.” Padmé jokes with excitement, and a very wide smile. Elara nods and laughs, taking some food with her fork. 

“I guess you could, yeah… I mean it wouldn’t be a big wedding,” Elara replies. Then, she stares at her plate. Her eyes display a sweetness I rarely see in Elara. She usually uses her Jedi mask, and she doesn’t get it off. But now, her eyes are softer. “When I was a kid all I aspired to was… Just getting married.” She confesses, with a nice smile. I could even say she is blushing. I have never seen her blush before, but it is a lovely thing to witness. Although, she always is. “I knew my options were limited, and that one of the joys in my life would be love and a family, and that was what I dreamed of.” She continues, and by the tone of her voice and the way her eyes are avoiding our gazes, I know this is truly meaningful for her. It is a very intimate thing she is sharing with both Padmé and me.

For a moment, I forget the topic of the conversation, but it comes back to my mind, and I feel shattered in all her loveliness. I would hate to see her leave. In my mind, it is unbearable to live in the Jedi Order without her anymore. Before she appeared, I might have survived, but she is my wellspring of light inside of the Temple. Now that I know how that feels like, I would not be able to go on knowing the origin of my peace has been replaced by an infinite coldness. Yet, I stare at her in this moment, as she covers her eyes and shakes her head.

“Ugh, sorry, I must be boring you.” She speaks, with embarrassment in her voice. Her hands cover her mouth as she stares at Padmé and me.

“No, Elara, that’s not boring, not at all.” Padmé assures, with a nice smile. She holds Elara’s hand, supporting her. “That’s simply wonderful.”

I have to agree with Padmé. It is wonderful to hear her talk about that, and to see her lovely eyes shine with happiness as they have just a moment ago. I could spend my whole life listening to her speaking about her thoughts, her dreams, her fears; everything she would like to share with me. I just want to see her genuinely smile out of happiness. And if she were to leave the Jedi Order, as much as it would hurt me to see her go, I would have enough with seeing her tender eyes shine with joy, content and delight.

“It is,” I admit, as I dedicate her a small smile. “I would love to be there with you if that ever happens.” Her now tender eyes turn towards me, and I sense a wave of appreciation and acceptance coming from Elara.

"Of course you'd be there, Anakin,” She murmurs. “I would always count with you.” I hold my breath, as her delightful eyes penetrate mine. It is not only about the words she speaks, but also about how she does. Her voice is low now, softer and gentler than usual.

“So, we do conclude you feel restricted as a Jedi,” Padmé adds, forcing the both of us to focus our attention on her.The change of topic brings both of us back to reality. Elara scoffs and grabs her fork again.

“Do I look restricted when I drink a whole bottle of cider with you?” She asks with a grimace.

“You what?” I let out, frowning at both women with confusion. I am not surprised at Elara’s enjoyment of cider, but I have never seen her actually _drink_. Now, I am just as surprised with Padmé. In that sense, she feels like an older sister, and it is strange for me to imagine Elara and Padmé bonding over alcohol. 

“Elara! I can’t believe you just exposed me like that.” Padmé exclaims, and Elara just smirks in amusement.

“That’s exactly it,” She then starts to say, after she has taken the last bite of her stew plate. “The way I see it is that you are, technically, not allowed to do certain things. You shouldn’t fall into the vices of drinking or smoking, you shouldn’t have friends, you shouldn’t have properties, you shouldn’t… Well, do a lot of things.” She explains, making a short pause, as she controls her rosy cheeks. “But it doesn’t mean we don’t do them. The trick is not getting caught.”

“So, the Jedi are corrupted too…” Padmé comments, resting her head on both her fists and raising an eyebrow at Elara. I scoff and shake my head, taking a hint of what Padmé is talking about. She knows Elara and I are not as enthusiastic as she is with politics. Elara might have mentioned the problem of corruption in politics.

“No, what happens is that the Jedi are not droids.” I respond, with a soft scoff. “And sometimes the requirements of the Jedi feel too detached for anyone with emotions, thoughts and opinions.” Both women stare at me as I speak, with makes me somewhat nervous. I have never been the best at expressing myself, and having the attention of a Senator and of one of the most intelligent and witty people I have ever known, it’s definitely nerve-wracking. “For me, is inconceivable, the idea of feeling general compassion but to never love anyone particularly.”

Padmé glances at me with amazement, and a bit of pride. She does feel like an older sister, she met me when I was only nine years old, and she was very kind to me since the first moment. I had grown up as an only child, with the sole company of my mother, and she treated me like a second mother, which is somehow similar to an older sister.

Elara, on the other hand, feels much different. I just don’t have the right words to explain it, and won’t through meaningless words unworthy of her. She deserves a better explanation than the one I can offer. And, indeed, she is staring at me differently. Her eyes look at me in wonder, and for a moment, with bewilderment.

“Well, you've definitely changed a lot Anakin,” Padmé says, bringing me back to reality once again. I take a deep breath and nod.

“I know,” I let out, with a small smile. Certainly, eleven years passed quickly, but I changed on the way.

“Will I ever get the full story of how did you two meet?” Elara asks with curiosity as she rests her chin on her right hand. I glance at her quickly, and Padmé open her mouth to speak. However, I can’t allow her to tell the story, not yet, because Elara doesn’t know about my life in Tatooine, about my mother and I.

“It’s a long story.” I respond before Padmé can say anything else. Both women look at me with confusion, specially Padmé.

“It isn't that long....” She comments, raising her eyebrows. Despite the comment, she seems to get that I don’t want to tell Elara that story, because she stands up and smiles. “I'm going to sleep, since when we arrive we're going to have lunch at my parents house” I give her a nod, and she leaves Elara and I sitting together. A droid starts to take our trays, and Elara simply stares at me in annoyance.

“What did she just say?” She asks with her eyebrows raised.

“We're going to her parents house,” I repeat with an amused smirk. She rolls her eyes and extends her arms over the table, before letting her head fall between them. I softly laugh at the image, while she just groans in disapproval.

“I thought we were going to go see the Queen, not do some family visit,” She whines, still facing the table.

She is clearly tired, and for the both of us, it will be our first ever family lunch. The sad thing is, is not mine or hers, it’s a friend’s. It sure is tiring and nerve-wracking to think about it. As I pass a hand through her hair comfortantly, I reassure myself that we will be fine as long as we are together.

“You should sleep too, I'll watch out for you and the Senator,” I tell her. She raises her head look glance at me, dedicating me a small smile, only that is only thought for me. Then, as I take my hand away, she stands up and throws herself into the bed where I had been sleeping before.

“You should rest too, Ani...” She murmurs as she closes her eyes and covers her body with a blanket. My gaze travels towards her, and I watch her find a comfortable position, bringing her knees up to her chest. The way she manages to set a fire inside of my chest with the smallest of details still surprises me.

“I can't, Elara… I can’t,” I mumble as I look away from her.

I have reached the conclusion that one of the most important things in my life right now is Elara’s welfare. I want to ensure her happiness, her safety; I want her to be content in every single way. Because I understand that she makes me feel like nobody has before. I don’t feel trapped when I am with her, and I can breathe with her, I find relieving and infinite peace with her. She is everything, and I will protect her until the end.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying the story so far, and that you are all safe and well. Thank you for the kudos!
> 
> So, it was really fun editing this chapter, because Anakin is very fun to write. He is very intense, and I am constantly joking about it with my boyfriend (he helps me edit these). I am always happy to write Anakin because of the nature of his character.
> 
> Next chapter is from Elara's point of view!
> 
> Laura


	13. Naboo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must warn you and apologize for the length of this chapter, but I can promise that if you survive through it, you won't regret it!

[ _elara_ ]

“What?” I ask softly opening my eyes, as they find a dark environment and an unfocused figure in front of them. I blink a couple of times, and my sight gets better slowly, and the figure results to be Anakin. Although the environment is dark, I find it hard to keep my eyes open at any sight of light.

“Wake up, Elara, we're here,” He tells me, helping me to sit up carefully, with his hand behind my back.

As I sit in the uncomfortable bed, the only thing my body is asking for is to is to fall asleep again. I softly rub my eyes. Anakin offers me his hand with a nice smile, and I gladly accept it. I will need help to get out of this bed without falling asleep again. 

Once I am standing up, I stretch my muscles carefully. As I recompose myself, I have the perfect amount of clumsiness to trip, but I also have my personal almost-Jedi Knight, Anakin Skywalker, who catches me before my face meets the cold ground. He laughs at me, shaking his head in amusement.

“Come on, we've to get to Padmé's parents house,” He reminds me, and I sigh deeply.

Right. Her parents house, for a family reunion. I have never been to a family gathering, with parents and siblings. I simply roll my eyes, openly displaying my excitement for this visit. His hand leaves my waist, and although I had not realized it was there, I wish he didn’t take it away so soon. I recover balance, and I look at him as he walks away to take the bags.

"I want to sleep…” I groan as I take my own bag and one of Padmé's, as Anakin is carrying the other one. The elegant woman I dare to call my friend glances at me, as she walks towards me with the intention of taking one of her bags.

“You don't have to carry everything I can carry something too,” She says to the both of us, but I shake my head.

I really, and surprisingly, don't mind carrying the bags. Jedi training keeps me in shape, carrying one more back is not going to cause me worse aches than a training session with Nyla. That woman can be an angel when she teaches the theoretical part of the Force, but she is an extreme military general when it comes to physical training.

“It's fine, we can handle a few bags.” I simply reply with a smile. Anakin nods, and waits for Padmé to lead the way out of the ship. Anakin and I walk behind her. She makes a comment of how we look like her faithful servants. _That's a fair enough cover_ , I think.

When we finally get off the ship, my eyes can't help it but get lost in the structures that surround us. We are in a beautiful square, with different ponds of blue, crystal water. The sky reflects on the ponds, and the sound of the water slowly flowing reverbs in my ears. I follow Padmé and Anakin, as my gaze still wanders around the square. The amount of vegetation around the square is impressive in my eyes.

I have never seen anything like this. The architecture of the square is a perfect combination of elegance and grandiosity, softened by the ethereal presence of the exotic plants and flowers. The arcs, the columns, the small details on the walls, the bridges, the small flowing river… Everything is elegant, beautiful. Just like Padmé.

Growing up in a place like this, where no matter where you look there's beauty, it's no surprise she takes such care of her image and has such an interest in her personal aesthetics.

Compared to the way I grew up, I can't help but feel slight jealousy. I wish I had been born in a planet like this, that I had grew up in a planet where beauty matters. I just wished I had the privilege of not having to care, where I can care about the beauty of things rather than my own survival.

“Elara,” I hear my name. As I turn my focus back to Anakin and Padmé, the latter is staring at me with her eyebrows raised. I hope I didn't miss anything important. “I understand it is a very distracting city but, could you at least please talk to me when I tell you something?” She asks, before she starts walking once more. I frown and shake my head.

"I'm sorry, it's just... I've never been anywhere like this" I admit, still looking around.

This time I don't get lost in the beauty of the place, but I am able to pick up on other details, such as the clothes on the people walking around the square. They are wearing extravagant and luxurious gowns, suits that seem to be made of the most expensive materials in the galaxy. My mind reaches the conclusion that Theed is a city for the rich.

“I was telling you the schedule for today.” She speaks, as Anakin and I walk beside her through the square. “First, we are going to have lunch with my parents, since they invited me. After what happened in Coruscant, they want to see me and check if I'm alright. We'll avoid the topic,” I nod slowly, and I glance at Anakin. His eyes meet with mine and he half-smiles. We both know her family will ask about it anyways, and we’ll have to manage the situation. “After lunch, I have some matters to attend with the Queen. Before we leave I need to settle some things.”

“Where are we going exactly?” Anakin asks.

The security team for Padmé has worked on the details, to restrict the knowledge of the Senator’s whereabouts and, therefore, ensure her safety. Few people actually know where we are, and we don’t even know where we are going to stay. Even her personal maids weren't told about her destination. Only the staff of the house will know our presence there, and they have been hand-picked by Padmé, all of them being staff she has had since she was a child.

The Queen of Naboo, of course, will know of our presence too. But she is someone we must trust. From what Padmé told me, the current queen is close to her, and they share many ideals. Killing her wouldn't make much sense, from a political point of view. The attack, according to the logic, seems to come from outside Naboo society.

“We are going to stay in a island my family owns in the valleys. It is not an easy house to find, and it is even more difficult to access.” Padmé explains as we walk slowly.

Anakin and I stay quiet. My mind starts to think about how the island will be, how the valleys will look. If it is an island, there will be a lake, or an ocean. I can't wait to see that in person.

Padmé looks around as we start walking up some stairs, walking through a roofed space of the square. Through the arcs, we can see the views of the square, its ponds and its nature, as well as the rest of the city and its buildings.

“I've to admit I understand you, Elara,” Padmé admits, with a nice smile.

“Why?” I ask confused, not fully understanding what she means.

“When I first saw the Capitol, I was really young. I had never even seen a waterfall before. And when I actually saw one, I thought they were marvelous," She explains as a grin appears in her face, probably as she remembers her first impressions of the city. Her eyes are looking at her home planet with delight. This is her home. “I never dreamed one day I'd be living in the palace.”

I smile to myself, as I remember the day she told me she had been the Queen of Naboo for some years. I wasn’t surprised at the fact that Padmé could have been a Queen, because she is what you would picture when you think about royalty. I was amazed at Padmé’s age. Padmé was really young when she held the position of Queen. I shouldn’t be surprised, because at the same age I was working as a waitress and trying to survive in the lower levels of Coruscant.

“Did you dream about power and politics when you were a little girl?” Anakin asks, raising an eyebrow, inspecting the zone with his gaze. She shakes her head quickly, with an outraged look in her eyes.

“That was, the last thing I'd think of,” She replies quickly. She is too much of an idealist to have a lust for power. “I wasn't the youngest Queen ever elected, although, I wasn't old enough. I wasn't ready.”

“I'm sure you did a good job,” I add, genuinely believing it. Padmé is a great senator, one that definitely has won my respect over the three years I have known her. Padmé is an incredible politician, why wouldn't she be a great monarch?

“Well, the people she served thought she did a good job,” Anakin informs looking at me. “I heard they even tried to amend the constitution so you could stay in office.”

“Popular rule is not democracy, it gives the people what they want, not what they need,” She replies, looking at the stone grounds of Theed’s streets. The avenues are filled with nature, and every square has a garden or a fountain. As we walk towards her family house, Padmé continues. “I was relieved when my two terms were up. My parents were too, they were really worried for me and they couldn't wait for all to be over. But when the queen asked me to serve as senator... I couldn't refuse her.”

“I agree with her. I think the Republic needs you,” Anakin says nodding his head. It is no secret that Padmé has definitely won the support of the people, and she is always leading the opposition of the most scandalous measures.

“Since today I’m feeling nice and honest,” I start to say with my eyebrows raised at her. “I'm glad that you chose to serve, because I got to know you,” I tell her with a wide smile, as she looks back at me and stops in her tracks. Anakin just stares at both of us in amusement.

"Elara Montrose, did you just say something nice and actually cute?” Padmé asks with surprise. I take a deep breath and shake my head.

“I promise it won’t happen again, don’t worry.” I reply ironically, regretting ever making the comment. I decide to be nice for one day, to show my gratitude about her presence in my life, and she jokes about it. She sighs and we start walking again.

“I thought maybe I could get you to admit I have a place inside of that heart of yours.” Padmé sighs.

“What heart?” Anakin asks, faking a confused look in his eyes. I open my mouth, pretending to be offended by their comments. I am not that detached, am I? I nod slowly, before I look at the streets again and shrug.

“Well, for your information, my heart exists and you two were in it until twenty seconds ago.” I avoid their gazes. Padmé laughs out loud, her giggles resonating through the avenues we are walking through. Anakin, on the other side, simply smirks at me.

“Come on, Elara, revenge is not the Jedi way.” He adds, raising his eyebrows in a cautionary way. I narrow my eyes at him, but his intense stare ends up making me let out a chuckle.

After that, my focus is settled on taking every detail of Naboo, as we continue walking through the streets. Theed's boulevards are clean, bright and surprisingly untouched. It's truly the example of a perfect city. There are flowers of different colors and shapes everywhere; everything is pure nature and beauty.

#### ✰

Padmé starts to walk faster in order to arrive at her house before us. Anakin and I stay behind, carrying the bags. Anakin glances at me with a nice smile. I can’t contain the curve that forms on my lips as a response.

“This is just beautiful, no wonder Padmé is so nice with everyone,” I joke, watching how a couple of little girls are rushing out of a house. They run towards Padmé, shouting her name with excitement before wrapping their small arms around her. They call her ‘aunt Padmé’, and she giggles happily. 

“You've grown so much,” She exclaims, “Look at you two, you look beautiful!” Both kids blush at the compliment of their aunt, before their eyes settle on R2, as the little astromed droid had followed us. They laugh as R2 starts to roll behind us, and they run towards him with curiosity. 

I giggle at the view. Although I haven’t had many good experiences with kids, I must admit there is something inside me that loves them. If they are treated with care and love, they are the only true pure souls in the galaxy, in my opinion. Unhurt, careless and uncorrupted by society. 

I glance at Anakin, who is looking at me with a rare sweet smile. He has clearly noticed I do have a soft spot for children in my heart. I must be too obvious, or he has learned to read me too well.

“I'm sorry, I just... Kids can be very cute, aren’t they?” I mumble looking down. He shakes his head, with a soft frown in his face.

“You say it like it's wrong,” He replies. I turn to look at him, and before I can reply, Padmé invites us inside of the house.

We walk up the stairs that lead to the front door of the stone house. The first thing that welcomes us in the house is a large hallway that has many accesses to different rooms. There is also a staircase, leading to a second floor where I assume the dormitories for the family must be. When we arrive at the dining room, which is connected to the kitchen, we find there a man and two women. Padmé rushes towards the youngest woman, wrapping her arms around her tightly.

“Anakin, Elara, this is my sister, Sola,” She introduces her, turning to face us with a wide smile. Anakin and I politely smile back as a greeting, not sure about the greeting custom in Naboo. “This is my mother, Jobal” Padmé continues, pointing at the other woman as she leaves a serving platter with many different fruits on the table. “And my father, Ruwee.” Then, the man seated at one end of the table nods, welcoming us with a nice smile.

"I’m pleased to meet you,” Jobal kindly says, before pointing at the table and the variety of trays where there’s already prepared food. “You've made it just in time for lunch!"

“I hope you're hungry,” Sola says, looking at both Anakin, and me. I shrug with a smile, as Padmé takes her seat next to her mother, happily. I sit next to her, and Anakin takes the seat on my left.

“A little,” Anakin replies as he sits down.

“Oh, he’s being polite, we're starving,” Padme giggles. I join her as a soft laugh escapes my lips. The members of her family start to take the trays and putting food on their plates. I look at Anakin with a small confused frown.

“Then, you've come to right place at the right time,” Padmé's father speaks with a nice smile. Everyone is smiling, enjoying their food and this time with their family. This is very strange for me. Ruwee passes Anakin one tray with some fruits, and after he has taken some, he offers me the tray too.

“It's so good to see you safe and well, we were so worried, honey…” Jobal says taking Padme's hand. The gesture seems small, but it is warm and familiar.

“Dear,” Padme's father murmurs. “This is not the time to bring back those horrible news.” A faint sensation of tension sparks in the room.

“I know, I know... But I had to say it, now it's said…” Jobal raises one hand innocently and looks down. “How was the journey?” Padmé’s mother asks nicely, looking at the three of us. However, Anakin and I stay silent.

“Tiring, and long, but I had good company.” Padmé responds, before turning to look at us.

“Elara and Anakin, right?” Jobal asks, narrowing her eyes slightly as she slices some fruit on her plate.

“Yes, Mrs. Naberrie.” Anakin nods politely.

“Oh, please, call me Jobal,” The older woman smiles nicely. “So, you two are the first friends Padmé invites over to our house. Ruwee and I were starting to think she had stopped making friends.”

“Mom…” Padmé mumbles, looking at her mother with a disapproving look. The tension of the room suddenly increases, a lot.

“Padmé, you do spend too much time involved in politics.”

“I’m sorry for caring, mom.” Padmé raises her eyebrows as she takes a piece of fruit from her plate. Jobal eyes her youngest daughter, before her gaze turns towards her first-born child.

“Your sister Sola been seeing someone new, did she tell you?” I glance at Anakin from the corner of my eye, and I realize we are both silently freezing in this situation, perceiving the tension in the room.

“No, I haven’t told her because I think it is too soon to start introducing him in our lives, mom.” Sola comments, clearly uncomfortable at her mother’s meddling attitude. I guess Sola has her reasons.

If she is seeing someone new, that means she is not with the father of her kids. Maybe she is divorced or never married in the first place. She is probably thinking about how introducing someone to the family life may interfere with the children’s development. It seems wise to make sure you don’t let anyone in easily, to know who you are including into your life.

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging his existence.” Jobal cleverly responds. I must admit that, I maybe wouldn’t like Jobal to be my mother. I wouldn’t be able to stand this attitude, and from what it looks like, neither do Padmé or Sola. But, she is their mother after all, I guess. “Talking about boys… I heard Altair is here, in Naboo, you should call him.”

“Mother of moons…” Padmé sighs, closing her eyes. “If you want to, we’ll have this conversation later.”

“I can’t ask you about the attack, I can’t ask you about your job, and I can’t ask about your romantic life, what can I talk about?” Jobal exclaims, with a saddened frown. 

“About my friends!” Padmé raises her voice slightly, and it surprises me. I have never seen Padmé raise her voice like that. She is usually incredibly and remarkably patient. She works with Jar Jar, who despite his good intentions, is hard to not be annoyed by. “Let’s talk about my friends, please.”

“Yes, I agree, tell us, what do you do?” Sola asks with a nice smile.

“We are Jedi Padawans.” I answer, glancing at Anakin.

“Jedi?” Sola asks, raising her eyebrows with confused amusement. “Since when do you go around with Jedi?” Padmé quietly eats, ignoring her sister’s question. “Don’t the Jedi have better things to do than to come here with you?”

“They were assigned by the Senate to protect me.” Padmé replies, letting out a deep breath.

“So they are bodyguards?” Jobal asks, dropping her fork on her plate. “Oh, Padmé, they didn’t tell us it was that serious.” I look at my plate and I decide to take a bowl with a rose colored soup, to pour some in a little bowl placed by my plate.

“It’s not, I promise” Padmé says sighing, probably tired of repeating the same thing, over and over again. However, she should just accept the situation: it is serious. “I'm not in any danger, mom.” I look at Padmé raising my eyebrows, but I won’t say anything. I am not here to create a family drama, I’ll just enjoy this beautiful peach tinted soup.

“Sorry, you kind of are, Padmé.” Anakin adds, with a frown. “There were two assassination attempts on her.” I look at Anakin, not believing that he just casually dropped the information. Someone is definitely _not_ looking for a peaceful lunch.

“Anakin,” Padmé says, offended and slightly angry.

“What? They deserve to know.” Her family worriedly glances at Padmé. One is too impulsive to keep the truth to himself, and the other one is too unproblematic to tell the truth. I can’t believe _I_ have to be the diplomatic one.

“But we're here for a reason.” I start to say with a nice smile, avoiding looking at either Anakin or Padmé. “I can promise you your daughter is safe with us. No harm will be brought upon her.” Jobal and Ruwee exchange a look, before looking at me gratefully.

“Well, thank you for taking care of our daughter.” Jobal thanks nicely. I shake my head with a smile.

“It is my pleasure, she wasn’t lying when she said we’re friends.” I keep saying, in an attempt to distract them from the assassination topic. Friendship is always a lovely topic to speak about, and I’m sure parents love to hear good things about their children. “She took me in when I joined the Jedi Order.”

“Oh, really?” Sola asks, before taking a bite of one of the fruits in her plate. Padmé looks at me with a thankful glance.

“Yes, ever since that moment Elara has been a great friend of mine,” Padmé states. “She’s the inspiration behind the Children’s Rights Project.” I use the spoon to take a bit of the soup into my mouth. It’s strangely sweet and spicy at the same time, which is a new flavour for me.

“Elara! Right, yes, you did talk about her.” Sola suddenly exclaims. Her gaze saddens, with faint pity in her dark eyes. “Wow, you have been through so much…”

“Uh…” I look at Padmé with my eyes slightly narrowed, not knowing how to react to this situation. I don’t want people to pity me, or feel bad for me. In addition, I can sense Anakin’s misplacement and confusion, because of course he doesn’t know the things Padmé knows. I shake my head and force a smile in my lips. “Yeah, well, it’s fine.” My eyes focus on the soup, and I take a deep breath. “This soup is very good.”

“Yes, it’s a traditional Nabooian cold soup, we call it _Raitana_.” Sola informs proudly.

“It’s made up of fruits, you will learn they are very integrated in our diet.” Jobal continues. 

There’s a moment of silence, and I notice Padmé’s father rarely speaks. He is a quiet and simple man. There’s certainly a very obvious family structure and the personality pattern of every single member is quite transparent. Jobal is, unquestionably, the head of the family, the one that controls everything and everyone. Sola is her right hand, probably being much closer to her mother than Padmé. Padmé, is an intellectual and independent woman, and she would never have enough with a simple married life. Not that marriage is not on her plans, but probably not in the same way they are in her mother’s.

“So, what is it like to be a Jedi?” Sola asks, creating a new topic of discussion. I glance at Anakin, encouraging him to speak about it.

“We are Jedi Padawans, so we are still under training of our masters.” Anakin explains, looking at Padmé’s family. “This is our first assignment on our own.” Oh, no, we _shouldn’t_ say that in front of her parents.

“But we are more than ready for this,” I continue nicely, before focusing my eyes on Anakin. “Anakin will be a Jedi Knight soon.”

“That is great!” Sola exclaims, with excitement. Anakin just stares at me, nodding slowly. I know he got the message that we should keep some information to ourselves, but perhaps it was not the best way to send him the message.

“Yes, it is.” He adds, before turning to look at his food. I hope I didn’t bother him with the Jedi Knight comment. I know he is frustrated, that he feels stuck, but I truly believe he will be ready to become one soon.

“Well, Padmé I need you to read an essay I am writing for the university, I am not sure about a couple of things…” Finally, Ruwee speaks, glancing at his daughter with a small frown. Padmé nods, with a tender look in her eyes.

“Sure, dad, I’ll check it out.”

#### ✰

After the lunch with Padmé’s family, she took a while to take some of her things. I didn’t know she still lived with her parents in Naboo, I thought she had an apartment or a house of her own. She took her most beautiful dresses, and the most extravagant hairpieces. Then, the Queen of Naboo awaited us. By the time the long meeting finished, she decided it was finally time for us to go to her family's house in Lake Country.

Now, we travel through the calm waters of the endless lake surrounded by mountains. While our narrow boat crosses the broad body of water, she talks about Varykino, the island where her family estate is found. This is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to.

The sun's reflection on the lake's surface turns the deep waters into a turquoise and shining mirror. The water is sparkling, as if there were millions of Kyber Crystals floating on the surface. The small boat slowly travels through it, breaking the peaceful surface and creating little waves as it moves towards the estate.

I trace the surface with one of my hands, as Padmé points at a very refined structure, claiming it to be her family's summer home. It takes me a moment to analyse the architecture, concluding her family's house is a summer palace. The tangerine and marigold walls contrast with the flora that is wrapped around the structure, protecting it.

When the boat reaches a small staircase that seems to lead to the house, I see Anakin taking one of Padmé's suitcases, as well as his own. I do the same, and I follow both of them through the stone staircase.

We reach the top, and a patio filled with plants welcomes us. The patio is vast, with a table and some chairs where you can sit to enjoy the breeze of the valleys. The edges are a balcony, one that has a panoramic view of the broad sapphire lake and its neighbouring mountains. I would stay here forever, watching this incredible paradise, but Padmé keeps walking towards the elegant palace. She walks through a wide and tall door, entering an enormous hall that seems to be a living room.

A couple of people start to walk into the room with welcoming smiles. I assume they must be the staff of the house, which confirms when Padmé greets them with a warm smile. The staff takes Padmé's suitcases, and they offer to take Anakin's and mine, but we both decline. Especially Anakin, he doesn't feel very comfortable with the idea of having people do things for him. We both leave the suitcases on the living room floor, as our eyes take in the luxury of the place.

The room has crimson couches, couches that seem to be made of the softest material in the galaxy. By the couches, there is a black marble fireplace. The carpets on the floor cover the white tiles, and my feet feel like they are standing on a bright cloud. The room is elegant, classy, just like Padmé. Once again, I can't help but wish I had one day in Padmé's life. Then, I remember the meeting with the Queen. I would never survive that.

“So, this is where we'll be staying…” Anakin murmurs, leaving the big hall and walking towards another door.

I follow him, and my eyes find a circled room with a table in the middle. The chairs surrounding the table are positioned as if the distance between them had been measured carefully. The room is decorated with arcs that offer the view of the lake, through a wide balcony.

“This is the dining room, also called The Room of Morning Mist, and that was the first living room, also called The Crimson Room.” I hear Padmé explain, as my eyes take in the details of the room. The paintings on the ceiling, and the golden details that decorate the walls of the room. “The kitchen is that door right there, but I don’t want to interrupt the staff.” She points towards a white and small door, in comparison to the welcoming arcs of the rooms. “The dormitories are on the first floor, where there is a second and much smaller living room. The house has eight refreshers, one per room and one spare one in each level.” I glance at Anakin, wanting to see his reaction. Apparently, he thinks the same thing, because when our gazes meet we both widen our eyes, amazed at the size of the house. “One is next to the Moonlight Hall, where we celebrate balls and parties.”

“Every room has views to the lake, I assume.” Anakin comments, raising his eyebrows as he walks around the room, taking in every detail.

“Yes, there are balconies everywhere. You'll find them small and hidden, or even tiny patios were you can just relax.” Padmé responds, walking towards an arc that leads to a giant balcony. “Then we have the big balconies such as this one.”

“This is marvellous, Padmé.” I admit. My eyes don’t have enough time to catch every single detail of the room. I can’t believe this whole house is for a single family. It even has a ballroom! Who would need a ballroom?

“Told you my Coruscant apartment was nothing compared to my houses in Naboo.” Padmé smiles, and I still think it is ridiculous to have so many houses. The things I have owned during my life have been few, and I still managed to live by.

“I see…” I murmur, as my hand touches the marble table in the centre of the room. “Must feel good to be born rich.”

“It’s a privilege I’m grateful for.” She quickly adds, before changing the subject. “Elara, you’ll be staying in the Golden Sun room and Anakin, you’ll be next to her, in the Two Seas room.” She informs as she starts to walk towards the arc that leads to the hallways of the house. “I will be in the Silent Forest room, it is my favorite one.”

“What is it with the names?” Anakin asks, with a mixture of amusement and confusion.

“Every room has something that makes it unique in comparison to the rest. For example, the Silent Forest room has trails of ivy growing in the walls.” Padmé explains. “Nature is very important in our culture, and you’ll notice that in your stay here.”

“I noticed you have a thing for aesthetics.” My comment is accompanied by my raised eyebrows.

“Well, of course, the first thing we find in nature is beauty.” She starts to poetically speak. “The beauty of life.” After that remark, there is a short pause. I take the opportunity to keep looking at the details of the room. “I will be going to my room and after that, to the kitchen to get everything ready.”

“Ready for what?” I inquire. We have nothing to do here.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, did I? Prince Altair from House Organa is joining us these days. He’ll be here tomorrow. He has been personally invited by me, he was already in the planet when we arrived.” Padmé answers avoiding both our gazes, as she turns around.

“Excuse me, what?” Anakin asks, frowning at her. “Shouldn’t you have consulted us?”

“Yeah, Padmé, what are we supposed to do now?” I add. Padmé is my friend, and I admire her a lot, but sometimes she can be too stubborn. We are here for her, she could at least communicate with us.

“Nothing, we don’t have to worry about him.” She responds, now turning her head slightly to look at us. “He’s a close friend of mine, and he is maintaining his location secret.”

“Padmé, you should have told us about it before.”

“If you want to accompany me to ensure my protection, that’s fine, I’ll allow it. But I won’t stop my life for this.” There’s a short but heavy silence in the room. “Now I’ll be leaving for my room.”

She leaves the circled room, leaving Anakin and me alone. I walk towards the arc that leads to the balcony.

“I didn’t even know Alderaan had a Royal House.” Anakin comments, as my hand touches the stone arc softly.

“I think it is a parliamentary monarchy,” I reply, as I narrow my eyes, remembering all I know about Alderaan. “I read it in a book.” I found a holo-book in the Jedi Archive about different planets with royal houses or positions. It was a good guide to understand where certain monarchies stand when it comes to the ideological framework.

“Of course you did.” Anakin funnily mumbles.

“This is extraordinary,” I whisper, as I lean on the arc. Everything is filled with nature. Different shades of green and blue decorate the landscape. The clouds even seem to be different than in Coruscant. The dark and shattering clouds of Coruscant are replaced by the velvety, snowy figures that fly through the skies of Naboo.

“It is.” Anakin comments, and I turn my head towards him.

His intense teal gaze is focused on me, and his eyes spark with a lovely light. The soft smile that appears in his lips is almost imperceptible. It might be the beauty of this place affecting all my senses, but for a moment, he seems to become the only thing my eyes want to look at. Surrounded with a marvelous paradise, his powerful stare traps me.

However, I hear a door closing, and I blink out of the trance I found myself in. I look away from Anakin, deciding it is time for me to find my room.

“I’ll go to find my room…” I speak, walking away from the arc and Anakin. “I'll see you at dinner.” I step out of the room before he is able to even respond. This planet is making me lose my focus on everything. I spent _too_ much time staring at him.

In the crimson living room, I take my bag and start my journey to find the room Padmé referred to as the ‘ _Golden Sun_ ’ room. I arrive at the second floor, and a bright hall welcomes me, as the light of the sun enters through the arcs. All the doors are open, except one. I suppose that is Padmé’s room.

Next to it, there is another door, which turns out to be a refresher of a considerable size. That leads me to the next door. As I take a peek of the room, there is a soft and warm breeze that welcomes me into a wide tangerine and golden room. The walls are painted in a gradient, similar to the sky as the sun is setting. There are golden details everywhere, in the ceiling, in the lamps, in the bed, in every piece of furniture. I have no doubts anymore about its relation with the golden sun.

Two arcs that lead to a balcony stand by the bed. Not only is one of the largest beds I have ever seen, it is also by far the prettiest. I leave my small bag on a small divan that sits nearby the door. There is a crystal lamp on the ceiling, shining with the rays of the sun that enter through the arcs.

I extend my hand to touch the soft fabric of the curtains that hang in the metallic canopy of the bed. The shiny, coral organza drapes are tied around the four columnar posts of the bed. Meanwhile, the silk sheets of the bed shine with their white radiant color. A battalion of pillows guard the head of the bed, all in different shades of orange. I would have never imagined a room could feel like a dream, but this whole planet does. I feel like I am in a trance induced by its beauty. I am completely hypnotized by the ethereal nature of Naboo. I smile widely before throwing myself into the large bed, where the silk lightly welcomes me.

#### ✰

Dinner is incredible. Padmé has had her staff cook some traditional Nabooian meals, and I have, indeed, realized they use a large variety of fruits in their diet.

There is some roasted Shaak with a very sweet Shuura sauce, which is Padmé’s favorite fruit. To accompany the main dish, we are pleased to try the cheese and honey salad with Jogan fruits. For dessert, we are offered a slice of a traditional lemon and passionfruit cake, with even orange flowers decorating the dandelion lemon icing. As I eat my slice of the dessert, I listen to Padmé.

“My mother is very insistent, she really thinks I should have been married by now,” She explains, putting in context certain comments from the lunch with her family, as well as to why Altair is visiting us. “Even with my sister’s divorce, I tried to explain her that maybe she had pushed my sister too much into marrying, but she never listens.” I frown in faint confusion.

“Why does she want you to get married so badly?”

“Yeah, it’s not like you need it…” Anakin comments, raising one eyebrow before he takes the last bite of his slice of cake. Padmé deeply sighs, as her spoon breaks a part of the cake in her plate.

“She cares about the reputation of our family, apparently, and if I don’t get married soon I won’t be able to have my own family.” Padmé replies, providing an insight of her mother’s reasoning. “She doesn’t want me to end single and without a family.”

“Do you want that?” I ask her, with a small frown. “A family, I mean.”

“I can’t say I don’t, but I also don’t want to abandon my political career.” 

“Well, maybe you don’t have to,” I respond with a small smile. I don’t see why Padmé should have to leave her job to have a family. It’s not like there is a code stopping her from getting married and starting a family.

“It’s hard to find a man I like that wouldn’t be intimidated by my position and how dedicated I am to social justice.” She explains, with an amused smile drawn in her lips. I raise my eyebrows and let out a soft laugh.

Although that might be true and men are generally not ready to accept and respect the responsibilities of a woman without feeling abandoned, there must be a man who does understand that there is more than himself in the galaxy. I remember Vasma and Skaara’s relationship and how much I wished I could find something like what they had, and probably still have. Vasma’s baby must be around one year and a half old, now that I remember. I wish they are doing well.

Skaara not only respected Vasma’s independence and accepted her beyond her profession, which is something rare already, but he supported her through every single situation she has been through. They were adorable together, because they didn’t need each other, they were both very independent, but they just decided to share their time with each other. They had fun together, but were there for each other if they needed a moment to vent.

That is what I suppose Padmé wants too. The ability to mix her professional career with a personal life where she can have a family and at the same time keep doing what she feels passionate about. Although that is what every woman would wish. I have a feeling she is not completely opposed to the idea of Altair staying here a couple of days, because she may actually like him.

At least this time it would not be an acting member of the Galactic Senate. She told me about Clovis, her last male romantic acquaintance. She has mentioned various times how she always felt their relationship was very unprofessional, because Clovis was unable to act professionally. Padmé had to cut ties with him for good, since this was during her early days as a senator.

“Back to the main topic,” Padmé speaks, after cleaning the corners of her mouth with a white napkin. “Altair will be here in the afternoon, and I’ll be making sure everything is ready for his arrival, then him and I will require some privacy and we’ll have dinner together, the four of us,” She informs with a small but professional smile. “You can take a walk around the island while I speak with Altair.” I frown at her. She is basically telling us she wants to spend some time alone with him, I get it, but we are here to guarantee her protection, she can’t just send us away whenever she feels like it. 

“Fine,” Anakin replies with a nod. “But that won’t become a norm, we are here to protect you, Padmé.”

“Yes, of course,” Padmé stands up with a smile. “Well now, I’ll be going to bed.” Anakin and I nod, as she starts to walk away from the table. “Have a good night.” Soon, she crosses the arc of the entrance and steps into the hall, disappearing from our sight.

Anakin stands up too, but he starts to walk towards the balcony. I watch him as he steps out to the wide and open space. The sun is still setting, colouring everything in shades of orange. I leave my seat, instinctively following him to the large terrace where he is staring at the tangerine colored landscape, one with mountain ranges and a reflected sun on the water. Both of his elbows are resting on the stone handrail of the balcony.

“What do you think?” I ask, only placing my hands on the cold surface.

“I feel he won’t be much of a problem,” Anakin responds directly, and I can sense he is being honest. “But she should have told us.”

“Yeah…” I reply with a saddened look as my eyes scan the glittering water. “But it’s Padmé we’re talking about… Unless it is a real emergency she won’t tell us.” And even so, if there was an emergency she would try to minimize its importance. It’s good that she doesn’t want to share information with anyone, but we are here to protect her. We should be the first and only to know things. “Like the lunch with her family, she didn’t tell us.”

“I know,”

“And, well, the lunch was… Definitely interesting.” I comment, finally turning my gaze towards him. His stare is still focused on the landscape. “Is that what family lunches are like?” I ask, with my eyes slightly narrowed.

“I wouldn’t know,” He lets out, slightly scoffing.

“It must get annoying at times for Padmé.”

“It is better than nothing,” He replies, sending me a quick glance. There’s a short pause, and I nod.

“I guess it is,” I stare at him with a faint sadness, because I know there is something he is thinking about.

He is too serious, and too immersed in his thoughts. I have learned to give him his time when he feels this way. Somehow, things always come out when I just give him his time. Meanwhile, I enjoy the unique view of a Nabooian sunset.

“I didn’t know Padmé had started a project from hearing your story.” Although I knew he was going to speak, I wasn’t expecting him to bring that topic up. He turns his head to look at me, and I look at the water below the edge of the balcony.

“Yes… She did,” I respond, not knowing what else to say. He really caught me off guard. “At least all the things that have happened to me serve a purpose.” I tell him. I focus my eyes on him, and I know, he wishes he knew what I have been through. I know he would love to help me, and understand me better. He deserves an explanation, at least. “You know I haven’t told you much about the orphanage and my life because it is not pleasant. A lost orphanage in a planet like Coruscant, no kid should grow up that way.” His gaze doesn’t turn away from me.

“I know about the factory.” He reminds me of that first night I spent at Padmé’s house. The night everything started.

That’s the night that set a difference between my old life and my Jedi life. Because when you become a Jedi, you leave your past behind. Your name, your possessions, your scars, your loved ones fade as if it had been another person who lived it. But Anakin and I have lived many years away from the order.

Forgetting and pretending they were other lives is more difficult for us. We shouldn’t speak about out pasts, not only because they bring us pain, but as Jedi, it is forbidden. But I have done it with Nyla, and I guess, if I tell Anakin I will feel more at peace. And maybe he feels more at peace too. He deserves to know and I deserve to move on, right?

“The factory was never the biggest problem, it was what I had to do... Loneliness tightens its grip around you before you can learn to care about yourself.” I say, glancing at him nervously. He softly frowns at me, understanding where my mindset is. “Yesterday you told me that we could speak about our pasts.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He tells me, shaking his head. I, somehow, think he is more nervous about hearing my story than I am to tell it, which surprises me.

“But I want to,” I reply, as I slowly step closer to him. “I want you to know who I am and who I have been.” He stares at me, and I take a deep breath. “Because I trust in you.” His eyes sparkle, with a flattered but disheartening eyes. 

“Whatever you want, Elara.” I stare at the water, resting my forearm on the balcony as I mentally and emotionally prepare.

“Working at the factory wasn’t as much of a problem.” I start to say, trying to look at him. I decide the best way to tell him, is to start with something soft, something that is not as painful as the rest of my memories. “I got used to working on the factory, I didn’t have problems with that. But I did hate that I could never feed my curiosity to learn. The education on the orphanage was lacking… I got lucky for a couple of years, there was one worker who, surprisingly, cared for us and our future. She tried to teach us how to read, write… With some she failed, but with others she succeeded. She was the one who encouraged me to keep learning about music.” 

I send Anakin a small smile, as I remember the moments of learning how to read and play music. Anakin smiles too, and I feel the warmth of the moment: in his smile, in the way he is listening to me, in the setting sun. But after the pause, I have to let my sweetest memories fade. I continue talking.

“I’ll always be grateful to that woman, because thanks to music I was able to survive in the orphanage. Unloved people can be ruthless, and if that’s all you have known… Well, sympathy wasn’t something that was taught to us.” I tell him with a half-smile, as the coldest moments start to appear in my mind. “Thankfully, when I was one of the smaller kids, nobody did or said anything to me. Selonna was there to protect me. She was one of the oldest kids, and she truly became like an older sister for me. I thought she could be the family I had never had, but when she reached the age of majority, she left the orphanage and… I never saw her again,”

I am now looking at the water of the lake, avoiding meeting Anakin’s gaze. I feel the tears that are shimmering in my eyes, on the edge of falling. I don’t want him to see me cry, I hate it when he sees me cry. I hate it because I give him a chance to comfort me, and it feels too good to have him comfort me when I need it. His knuckles softly caress my fingers, and this is what I mean. Feeling his gentle touch, knowing he is here with me, soothes me. I glance at him.

“That was my first heartbreak because I realized that I would never have a real family. I was an orphan, and I would be an orphan forever.” I continue to tell him, and I notice my hand is shaking. He seems to notice too, because his fingers wrap around my hand, stopping the tremble. “I noticed the kids there had all been contaminated with that same sentiment of loneliness and frustration. You will not believe how mean and evil unloved kids can be.”

“I do believe it.” He replies, as our gazes meet again. He seems to be just as affected as I am, because his eyes glitter with gloom. 

“I have grown up fighting, having to be this tough person in front of the world. Sometimes I would accidentally use the Force against kids that were… Mean to me. And I would hurt them, just like they hurt me. I remember my childhood being filled with pain, everywhere.” I confess, as the memories weight heavy in my conscience.

I wish I could just make sure no kid ever had to witness, endure or even do the things I have. I have been a subject to pain, yes, but I am no innocent either, even if it was in self-defense, I have been the cause of pain for others. But I can’t verbalise one single act of pain, because it already is a burden in my conscience to turn it into a reality. Maybe one day I’ll be able, but that’s not something I can do today.

“When that worker arrived, she made realize I could be something else. I learned how to read, and I learned how to play the keybed, how to sing… Suddenly that intense hatred they felt towards me was replaced with strange admiration.” I clean one of the tears that was falling down my cheek, and I softly let out a laugh, trying to relieve some tension from within me. “Everyone wanted to hear me sing and play, and even if I didn’t have the energy for it I used to tell myself: _the show must go on!_ ” I take a deep breath as one forced smile appears in my face, like the ones I learned to put.

If I wanted to live in peace, I needed to learn to please everyone, with a smile, with a song, with a small performance… Music became my greatest ally, walking hand in hand with pretending. It is not that I didn’t enjoy it, it is the fact that I had to opt for those options to survive peacefully.

“I learned I didn’t have to harm people to protect myself. I simply learned to pretend. Lying, manipulating… They became great tools.” I explain shaking my head in regret. “I guess I learned quicker than other kids. There are things that kids just, don’t normally know about, like cruelty, abuse, greed, arrogance, selfishness, sadness, spice… Mother of moons, even sex.” I murmur, closing my eyes, as if I could erase everything my mind has collected. I also don't want to see Anakin’s reaction, so I turn around, as I lean on to the balcony and my back faces the lake now. “I befriended a prostitute at twelve years old, and I loved Vasma, but that’s- That’s not something a kid should be doing. Prostitution shouldn’t even exist in the first place, but that’s-that’s not the topic.” I shake my head and take a deep breath, not wanting my voice to break when I am just finishing. “I was an orphan, an unloved kid with many, many issues.”

I feel various drops of water falling down my cheeks, but I stay silent. Only the sound of the water and nearby birds reach my ears. That is until Anakin turns his head to look at me, shifting his body and stepping closer to me.

“You’re not unloved now. You’ve got Padmé, and Nyla…” He interrupts the soft rumbling of the water, and he pauses, with the tension in his demeanor rising in a matter of seconds. “And me,” I sniff quietly, before my eyes meet his welcoming gaze, and the curve in his face warms my heart. “You’ve got a family now.”

“Anakin…” I whisper, swallowing to make sure my voice doesn’t break. “I would love those words to be true… I would love to think I still deserve a family.” He frowns at me, as his eyebrows turn in a sorrowful expression upon hearing my words.

I look down, cleaning my tears one more time, before holding his hand. I need him right now. When my fingers softly touch his hand, he stares at me with a faint confusion and I can see his body freezes for a moment, as he takes a deep breath.

“You know, before, when I was speaking about getting married and leaving the order… I know those are things that are never going to happen. I’ll never get to have a chance to that happy family dream.” I tell him as a sad smile appears in my lips, as another tear rolls down my face. “I had the opportunity, to have what I have always fantasized of, and… I left it.” The confession doesn’t entirely come out, because I can’t do it. But I have to. I must be able to. 

However, Anakin’s right hand rises until it reaches the level my face is in. His knuckles gently clean away the tears that had poured from my eyes, and then his fingers caress my cheek, leaving a burning trail behind his touch.

“I know,” He responds with a strangely comforting yet careful look. I sniff, as I slowly take in his response. “Dasha, she's your mother,” He directly and honestly says.

I blink, unable to process the information he just delivered. I look at the ground, but Anakin’s hand softly returns to my left cheek, staying there more firmly this time. As he caresses my cheek, I have to turn my gaze towards him again. His worried eyes are staring at me, because he already knows the answer. However, I nod slowly, as a heavy gloom suddenly overwhelms me. 

“Do you remember we found you through a blood test?” He starts to explain, as I try to concentrate on listening to him. “We didn’t exactly find you in the blood databases. Your DNA was not in the databases. If it had been, the Jedi would have traced your midichlorian count and they would have found you when you were a kid.” I frown, holding my breath quietly. “But… We did find a match, Dasha Montrose. We assumed she could be your mother. We searched for the surname and… We found you in the census.”

“And when I told you her name… When you saw her… You have known all along.” I think out loud, before I look at the ground again. He has known all along, and I have been here lying about her when he just knew. But, I am not the only liar. “You also lied to me, everyone told me the DNA of parents wasn’t in the database.” I reply with a frown, and Anakin cleans, again, one of my tears. Although I am not agitated as before, my eyes are still filled with salty water.

“Obi-Wan agreed with Master Windu not to tell you, just in case you didn’t know.” Anakin offers an explanation, that suddenly makes everything have sense. “He said knowing your mother was out there could compromise your training.” Of course they would think that, but I won’t direct my anger towards them for thinking that. I am not.

Instead, I take a deep breath and ask a hopeful question. “Do you have my father’s?” 

“No, that wasn't a lie,” He responds, shaking his head softly. “We don’t know who your father is.” I nod, accepting his answer. It’s not like it would affect me much to know what I already knew, that I will never find out who my father was.

“I feel stupid now, you should have told me.” I tell him, with a heavy-hearted look in my eyes. His teal gaze glances at me with faint discourage.

“It never felt like the right moment.” He shakes his head.

“I guess the light of this beautiful sunset is pouring the truth out of us, uh?” I comment, putting on a smile that shines through the sorrowful veil that has fallen upon me. I turn towards the sunset, as the dark orange sun is slowly hiding behind the mountain ranges. When I look at Anakin again, I realize his gaze is locked on me.

“If I may, why are you hiding her, Elara?” He inquiries. For a brief moment, I divert my gaze from him, but I can’t hide from the truth. I need to face the truth and I need to be able to tell him. I’m not going to look away again, not from him.

“My mother told me that my father was a Jedi, but he died before my birth.” I start to explain. “My mother is… Resentful with the Jedi, because she blames them for taking him away from her.” He stares at me, with a small frown filled with confusion. “If you think I don’t like to talk about my past, you should talk with my mother, because that’s all I know.” I understand his eyes, and how confusing this situation is with that scarce information, but my mother was never fond of sharing her life. Apparently, nobody that knew her knew about me. “She just doesn’t want to exist in the eyes of the Jedi, I hope you understand that.”

“I do,” He tells me, and his hand stops caressing the left side of my face, although I wished he didn’t. “I just wished you knew more about your father because maybe we could find out more about him.” He states, and I nod. “It is strange that his DNA is not in the records.”

“I know,” I add. “But maybe they got lost, or erased.”

“Maybe,” After his response, there’s a moment of silence and I feel more at peace now. My eyes finally seem to have shed enough tears. 

“You know, sometimes I miss her, and sometimes I wonder if I should be missing her. We couldn’t bond in the way I would have liked to but, I understand why we didn’t. I just wanted a loving mother, who only had eyes for me. But she had already made her life without me.” I confess softly, and he stares at me with a heavy frown, filled with faint grief. “She wanted the baby she left at the orphanage, but she grew up and also learned how to live without her mother. We didn’t need each other, yet I still feel like a terrible person.” I shrug, taking a deep breath that fills my body with oxygen, balancing everything again.

“Why?”

“Because… I was selfish and I left her behind.” I explain narrowing my eyes, in regret. “I had my chance at a family, and instead of working harder, I gave up and left my mother behind.”

“You know, I also left my mother behind.” He responds, looking down at the ground. “I think about that everyday, especially these days,” He comments, as his gaze avoids mine. “I feel guilty for leaving her in that loathsome ball of sand, alone…”

“That’s the price we must pay, right?” I ask, and it sounds more unsure than I had expected it to sound. “To be Jedi,” He takes a deep breath, shaking his head.

“There’s something I haven’t told you either, Elara, because I don’t want you to see me as… That.” He says, closing his eyes with a certain disdain.

I extend my arm, until my hand rests on his upper arm, offering the comfort of my presence and my emotional support. His eyes meet mine, as if my touch shows him that I’m really here. He must be going through a complex train of thought, as his eyes change in a matter of seconds. He is struggling, and I am about to speak when he finally tells me.

“My mother and I were sold as slaves. I was a slave for all my childhood, and all I had, was my mother.” He confesses with a heavy frown, one filled with aversion and disgust. “I never knew anything, or had any idea who my father was. Nor I cared. Whoever he was, he was never there, and my mother never talked about him.” He shakes his head, and I have never seen him this angered, this grieved and filled with loathing. “Unlike you, I never had anyone teach me how to read, how to write, all I knew how to do was repairing droids, speeders… All I knew is that I had to follow orders to survive, and keep my mother alive and safe. I remember the cold nights when I would hear her crying, and I could just dream of getting her out of there.”

While he speaks, I can hear the tone of his voice; I can see the tears shining in his eyes, and I don’t feel mine until they are running down my cheek. My head creates this image of a young boy, cuddled with his mother at night as he has to hear the pained and quiet cries of his mother. But he can’t do anything to take her agony away. That image breaks my heart, and the tears in his eyes drown its broken pieces.

“I also grew up surrounded by pain, and I could endure my own but I couldn’t see my mother suffering. That got me in trouble many times.” He continues telling me, and as a tear falls down his cheek he looks away from me. “You know, I thought maybe no one would understand what is it to be whipped for not doing something the way it is expected, or be hit for not following a direct order. But I guess maybe you can, somehow, understand some of it.” With my left hand, I caress the right side of his face, cleaning the tears he was so ashamed of showing, those he was hiding from me. His gaze turns to me again, as I nod holding back my own tears.

“I do,” I reply. “I wish I didn’t, Anakin, but I do.” His own pain is stinging my chest, and I wish I could take his pain away. I wish I could make us forget, and just be able to be happy, or not happy, but just live in peace without being haunted by memories.

“Now that I know what is to share your same pain with someone, I wish you didn’t either.” He murmurs, as his shimmering eyes stare at me. “But our second master was slightly better than the first one, considering the circumstances. We at least had our own place.” He shakes his head, adding a slight shrug. “Do you remember that protocol droid I told you about?”

“Yes, of course, C-3PO,” His eyes look at me with a hint of surprise. He wasn't expecting me to remember the name.

“Yeah, C-3PO… I built it for my mother, so she had some help in our house. I’m glad I did before I left.” His anger and hatred has slowly faded, only leaving an aching boy who left his mother behind. “It was Obi-Wan’s old master that freed me. I remember how my happiness faded once I realized my mother was still going to be a slave. I had to leave her behind, and she wasn’t free.” His gaze meets the ground. “I promised I would go back and free her. Now I am haunted by that guilt.”

“What do you mean?” My hand softly falls from the upper part of his arm, through his forearm and consequently reaching his hand.

“I can’t sleep anymore, because I kept having…” He shakes his head, finding the right words to explain. “These dreams about my mother, suffering and in pain. I keep thinking about her, wondering if she’s alright, if these nightmares are more than that…” He cleans his tears with his right hand, before taking my left hand, which has been softly caressing his cheek. “I don’t know.” Now he is holding both of my hands, and looking at them. “She told me to not look back, but I can’t help it.”

After everything we’ve said to each other, after revisiting painful memories, we stand here as the sun disappears in the horizon. Our hands are intertwined, as we help to support each other through this; sharing our comfort and pain with each other. But that’s not enough. I let go of his hands, before my arms wrap around him slowly and gently. His embrace welcomes me sooner than I expected, almost as if he had been thinking the same thing. His touch, his energy, is the most comforting and fulfilling sensation I have ever felt. My head rests on his chest, and I can hear his heart beating rapidly. Hearing the beat that comes from within him, I tighten my arms around his torso, as I let the warmth of our love heal our scarred hearts.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know all of this…” I murmur, unable to pull away from him. I feel his hand as it travels through my upper back in comforting circles.

“I didn’t want you to see me as the boy who was a slave, I never did.” I feel him moving his head, and I look up at him. “And I still don’t.”

“Anakin, I would never…” I mumble, narrowing my eyes at him. After all the time we have spent together, after everything I have told him, I thought he would understand how much he means to me. “You have to know you’re more than just a slave.” 

“Is it because I am ‘ _the Chosen One_ ’?” He asks, after letting a soft sigh, and I have to slightly pull away, surprised with his oblivion about the situation.

“No, it is because you’re Anakin Skywalker.” I tell him with a genuine smile through my sorrow. “You’re…” All the things I could tell him, all the things I think about him… I can’t even say the half of it. And I don’t really know how to express his importance in my life. “You are an amazing pilot, a friend and probably one of the coolest people in the Galaxy, but I am biased, of course.” I try to add some humour to the situation, and he lets out a soft scoff. That’s good enough for me, but I swallow. “Now, for real, I am glad you convinced me to give it a try, and I’m glad to have you in my life. I would never see you as anything else than the wonderful person you are.”

I can’t put it into other words, because I am confused about my feelings and Anakin. He simply stares down at me, as his eyes sparkle in admiration and gratitude. I am aware I am gawking at him, but as my eyes take in the image, I feel an energy within me, warming and familiar. It feels like a flower blossoming inside of my chest, new and fresh. If his gaze wasn’t locked on me, I would acknowledge the realisation that this moment will be tattooed in my heart forever. But instead, I wonder about a garden of flowers born from moments like this, colorful and diverse, but overall happy.

“I’m glad I told you about everything.” He says, with one of the softest voices I have ever heard from him. “I feel better now.”

"I’m glad too,” I murmur. “I really needed this, Anakin.”

“I needed it too,”

“You know what else you need?” I ask quickly, raising my eyebrows at him. “To sleep, you look exhausted.” He rolls his eyes, slowly pulling away. However, I keep my hands under his elbows, as our forearms are connected.

“You seem to have forgotten that I just told you I can’t sleep well anymore.” He reminds me, faintly narrowing his eyes at me.

“You’ll sleep with me, in my room.” I swiftly reply. The idea catches him off guard, and he gives me a quick frown, full of confusion. “Then, if something happens, I'll be there with you. You won’t be alone.” He stares at me, speechless and frowning at me, almost nervously.

“You don’t- It’s fine, I’m fine.”

“It’s not fine, you definitely haven’t looked at yourself in the mirror.” I comment, as my hand gently moves through his forearm. “Please, at least try… For me...” I sadly pout at him, exaggerating it. He looks at the lake for a moment, before he nods and sighs.

“Fine…”

I widely smile at him, and I let go of one of his forearms, to hold his hand. Once I have linked my left hand with his right hand, I pull him into the beautiful villa owned by Padmé’s family.

As we walk upstairs, there’s a heavy silence and we can only hear the sounds of nature of the island. Instead of endless airspeeders and the noise of the city, in Varykino you can only hear the breeze, the subtle flowing of the water and the tiny creatures that roam the island.

When we arrive to the door of my room, Anakin raises his eyebrows, probably thinking about making a comment. However, he doesn’t make it. Whatever he thought of saying, he keeps it to himself. As we walk in, his eyebrows relax and his eyes take in the tangerine room. I stare at him with a smile, enjoying the astonishment in his face.

“Wow, Elara this room is… Beautiful,” He eventually says, letting go of my hand and walking further into the room. “It suits you.” I close the door and give him a quick frown. Is he smirking? He must be teasing me.

“What?”

“You’re like the sun; warm and bright.” He tells me with a small smile, before looking around him. “This room is.. Exactly that.” He is not teasing. I suddenly feel my cheeks slightly burning, and it must be spring inside of my chest, because all the flowers seem to be growing within me. He glances at me again and gives me a worried look. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” I start to say, bringing one hand to my forehead, closing my eyes. I take a soft breath and smile at him nicely. “That was beautiful, what you said.”

“Well, you’re beautiful, it’s fitting.” He simply responds, with another one of his charming smiles. I'm blushing. I can’t believe I am really blushing. I look down and funnily frown at the ground.

“We should,” I start to say, taking a moment to point at the bed. “Go to sleep.” I make a short pause. “It’s been a very long day.” I add, and he quickly nods at me.

“Yeah.”

“You can make yourself comfortable I have to go to the refresher first.” I inform as I take my bag from the divan and carry it all the way to the refresher. The door closes behind me, and I am locked inside of the smaller but still large room.

Why am I suddenly so nervous about the whole affair? Why is he such a teaser? Why am I blushing? I look at myself on the mirror before covering my face with both of my hands, letting out all the air I was keeping inside of my lungs. It’s all fine. I will just change into more comfortable sleeping clothes and finally leave this refugee outfit.

I open my bag, realizing that I have nothing to sleep with. I normally sleep in my underwear, I hadn’t thought I might need to cover myself to sleep. I sigh deeply as I sit down on the edge of the rounded bathtub. I can stay here until Anakin falls asleep, sleep with some of the rest of my clothes or on my underwear.

The best option is definitely to wear some comfortable pants and one of my Jedi shirts I use as undergarments. Although they are uncomfortable, at least they are something. It’s the least uncomfortable for both of us, I guess. He won’t be bothered in this one, at least.

As I am about to stand up to get the bag, I look around the refresher, and I do see a note on top of a cupboard. I walk towards the cupboard, taking the note in my hands. As I open the folded paper, I check a beautiful calligraphy I recognize as Padmé’s:

> _Elara,_
> 
> _I hope you enjoy your stay in this room. I specially think it is perfect for you, it represents what you mean to me. As you may have noticed, you have your own refresher and your own closet, which are thankfully connected through a door. It is a lifesaver sometimes, that’s why my mother decided to organize the rooms this way._
> 
> _Anyways, I am sure by the time you find the letter you still haven’t checked your closet. You’ll be too caught up with the beauty of your peach colored room to check an empty closet. However, I made sure it wouldn’t be empty. Take this as a treat to fully enjoy your Nabooian experience._
> 
> _I am glad that you’re here,_
> 
> _Padmé._

“Huh,” I let out as I finish reading the letter.

I frown as I leave it on the cupboard again, turning to look at the door by the mirror. I walk towards it, as many thoughts cross my mind. If Padmé really put clothes in there, specially ones in which I can sleep in without my whole body being exposed to.. Anakin.

When the door opens, the wide and vast closet welcomes me. This said closet is the size of my room in the Jedi Temple. There are around ten different dresses, and other different accessories scattered around the shelves of the closet. A row of shoes lay in the lower shelves of the closet. This is insane.

I walk over to some piles of folded clothes. As I get closer, I notice the fabric of the clothing pieces is soft and shiny, resembling silk. I take one of the cloths, which turns out to be a delicate, satin nightdress. I open my mouth and frown in astonishment. This is not a rare fabric, but it is exclusive to be able to sleep with one of these. It definitely covers more than my underwear does, and it is much more comfortable than my Jedi clothes. Once I have changed into the white nightdress, and I glance at my own reflection in the mirror inside of the closet. I take off the pins in my hair, letting my long hair fall over my shoulders. Maybe Anakin is right, maybe I am beautiful.

My eyes meet the wooden ground before I leave the closet. As my bare feet start to feel the cold tiles of the room, I look up and notice Anakin is standing and leaning against the frame of one of the arcs that lead to my own private balcony. The room is dark now, but the three moons of Naboo are softly illuminating the golden room with sapphire shades. One notable thing is that he is not wearing his usual robes, but instead only his undergarment pants and shirt. When he turns to look at me, he seems surprised to see me. He takes some time until he speaks, as his eyes take me in. It must be the darkness of the room.

“Your hair is…” He starts to say, motioning his hands around his head and pointing out my loose hair. I look at the ends of my hair.

“Oh,” I let out. “Is it bad?”

“No, no,” He quickly responds. “Not at all.” I weirdly smile at him and nod, as I get on the tall and wide bed. It’s size is not only remarkable, so is its texture. It feels like one of the clouds I saw when we arrived, soft and tender.

Anakin, however, stands for a moment, looking at me as the moonlight illuminates his face. When he starts to walk towards the bed, I keep my gaze on him.

“Thank you, Elara.” He says, as he sits down on the edge of right side of the bed. I frown at him, as I sit on my knees and he turns his head to look at me. “For being there when I need you.” He softly adds, getting on top of the bed. Our gazes meet each other, and once again, I am trapped in his eyes. I take a deep breath before I hide myself underneath the sheets. 

“Goodnight, Anakin.” I murmur, before closing my eyes. He also moves and gets under the sheets. I feel the warmth of his presence around me, wrapped around me as if it was a blanket. If I could fall asleep like this every night, I probably would wake up in the middle of the night, just be able to fall asleep and feel this peace before drifting away again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you made it! 
> 
> I hope you are all doing fine in the safety of your homes or wherever you are doing these quarantine, remember this is an extremely important thing to do in order to eradicate this virus! 
> 
> Now, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I cried a lot while writing it, because it was really emotional for me to explore the memories of the characters. I would love to hear what you're thinking of the story so far and, who is your favorite character at the moment!
> 
> Thank you for reading,
> 
> Laura.


	14. Paradise

[ _anakin_ ]

I open my eyes, as the rays of the sun enter through the arches located near both sides of the bed. I slowly tilt my head, in order for my eyes to identify where I am. The orange shades of the walls tell me this is Elara’s room. 

I freeze, as a quick chill runs down my spine. If this is Elara’s room, this has to be her bed. I slept in _her_ bed, with _her_.

I shift my body slowly, turning to look at the other side of the bed. Elara is still sleeping, peacefully, as the rays of the sun reflect on her hair. Her eyes are closed, in the shadows and not bothered by the light. She’s like a dream, laying beside me in this soft bed. I lay back in the bed, as my eyes look upwards, to the canopy.

There are _too_ many things on my mind right now. I slept like I hadn’t in years, probably. Although I don’t know if I have ever even rested this way. Honestly, I must admit I was scared when she invited me to sleep here. It feels too intimate to sleep in her bed, and for a moment, I thought it wouldn’t be able to comfortably stay here.

It is not that I have something against Elara, but rather that, maybe, I am scared of this kind of personal and private moments with her. They make me happy and complete, I feel at peace when I am with her. Obi-Wan would certainly disapprove if he was here. But _thank_ the Force he is not here, because I don’t regret sleeping in this room, next to her.

It is strange because, I do feel like I am doing something wrong. I shouldn’t tell anyone about my past, and after that, sleep in the same bed with them.

I shouldn’t see her wearing a short, silk nightdress. I shouldn’t be able to see how stunning she looks as her loose hair shines with the moonlight. I shouldn’t enjoy the peace of waking up next to her.

Despite how wrong it may feel, it also feels extremely good. I feel free with her.

“Hey, you…” A soft voice mumbles from my left side.

I glance at Elara, just to find her softly smiling at me as she still rests her head on the pillow. A smile takes form in my face, as I take in the delightful image.

“Hi,” 

“You look much better today,” She rests her head over her hands, on top of the pillow, frowning funnily at me. “You didn’t have any nightmare tonight, I didn’t feel it.”

I narrow my eyes slightly at her, with curiosity. It’s true, that’s why tonight sets the record as one of the best night sleep I have ever had. A soft smirk suddenly appears in my face.

“No, I didn’t.”

“I think the last time I slept half as good was when you took me to Padmé’s apartment because I had nowhere to stay.” She comments, her eyes staring at the canopy now.

“Yeah, I also slept like I never had.”

“I wish I didn’t have to leave the bed but... Padmé still needs our protection.” She sighs, before taking the sheets off of her and sitting on the edge of the bed. “And probably our help to prepare the house for Altair.”

For a moment, I can’t seem to get my eyes off her long and loose hair. I have never seen her with her hair freely flowing like it is right now. For some strange reason, she looks even more beautiful now. 

“Yes, of course.” I respond while she stands up and walks towards the second door inside of her room.

“Alright, let’s see if Padmé has left something useful for me.” I frown at her comment, as she walks into the second room.

“What do you mean?” I ask, as I slowly get out of the bed too.

“She left some clothes for me here, and if I don’t wear them I bet you she’ll make me come back to try something.” She explains, louder, as I walk towards the door of the room.

However, I find out it is a walk-in closet. This is just a reminder for me that Padmé has _too_ much stuff.

“She is spoiling you,” I joke as I look around the room, seeing it has a diverse range of clothes, with different colors and shapes.

“Well, then, we’ll let this girl be spoiled, just for once.” Elara replies funnily as she glances at me, before her gaze turns to some clothes that are hanged on a metallic railing. “But everything over here are dresses…”

My eyes travel around the room, finding some other pieces of clothing hanging in a corner. I am _not_ a fashion expert, but they seem to be jumpsuits, a piece of clothing that Elara loves.

I walk over towards the corner, watching distantly the different colors of the jumpsuits. There is a rose jumpsuit that has a high neck and no long sleeves, like Elara usually likes. I take it in my hands.

“What about this?” I ask, showing her the jumpsuit. She walks over to me, taking the jumpsuit into her hands as her eyes scan the piece of clothing.

“Yes, I like it…” She murmurs with a small smile. “If Padmé objects, I’ll tell her it’s better than nothing.” Her eyes turn to look at me, with faint happy wrinkles in the edges. She’s so lovely.

Then, she starts to walk towards another door, which I assume must be the bathroom. I didn’t notice yesterday, but she entered through the bathroom and exited through the closet. I look down at my own clothes, realizing I also need a change.

“I’m going to go for a moment to my room, I have to change.” I tell her, before she nods at me and walks into the bathroom.

“Of course, Anakin,” She responds. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

I walk out of the room, closing the door behind me and with one thought wandering my mind. As I pace the halls towards by nearby room, I simply wish I could wake up this way everyday, with this amount of peace. I wish I could wake up next to Elara, having the image remind me every morning I have her in my life.

As I change my clothes, she keeps roaming around my mind. I try to focus on the sky colored walls of the room, the white details on the furniture, and even the sounds of nature outside of my room. However, nothing works. My lack of concentration when it comes to Elara… There’s nothing that works. Only she does.

Once I have changed into my usual Jedi robes, including my leather coverings, I walk out of the room and walk downstairs. As I do, I see Elara standing in the hall, staring at the landscape through one of the arches.

She is wearing the rose jumpsuit, with a shiny grey belt and a pair of matching shows. She looks marvelous, with her hair gathered in a loose braid, and her side-swept fringe covers part of her forehead. When she turns to looks at me, I notice how the tight jumpsuit surrounds her body, displaying her soft curves. 

“This place is beautiful,” She starts to say, but she notices I am staring at her. She looks down at her own body and nods, with a faint embarrassment. “It’s too close-fitting, I know.” I frown for a moment, because she shouldn’t be embarrassed about it. Her body is beautiful; she is beautiful.

“I was going to say you look incredible.” I immediately reply. She glances at me with lighthearted eyes, before Padmé appears in the hall with a wide smile.

“Oh, good morning,” She tells us, as she walks over to us. Then, her eyes analyze Elara with pride. “I see you found my note.”

“Yes, very useful.”

“I am going to need your help,” Padmé soon informs. “I need you to try the menu that I have chosen for dinner.” I glance at Elara as we start to follow Padmé towards the Crimson Room. “I also need to prepare the terrace, I was planning on putting a table with some chairs and a summer couch from the Garden’s Keeper Room.” I softly scoff, shaking my head.

“Let me guess, it’s outside.” I comment, with an amused smile. I think having a name for each part of the house is an slightly exaggerated take. 

“Yes,” Padmé answers, before getting to the actual point. “Could you take them? You’re strong enough.”

“We will, don’t worry.” I tell her, before I start to walk towards the terrace.

“Yeah, you can keep choosing flowers while we prepare the terrace.” Elara funnily replies, before following after me.

“Thank you,” Padmé says. “And please, prepare it with style.” I hear Elara’s soft laugh at Padmé’s words.

Meanwhile, I look for the door of this Garden Keeper’s Room. It is useless to have a name for each room if the name is not indicated on the door. However, Elara starts walking towards a door located outside. Of course she would find it, she’s much more observant than I am.

I follow after Elara and I open the door, walking inside of the small and dark room. There are tools to take care of the flora, outdoors furniture and cleaning materials. 

“Alright, so how are we going to do it?” Elara asks, as she touches a metallic table with a glass surface. The metallic body of the table has silver details around it, that resemble leaves and flowers.

“You are not really thinking on actually carrying them, right?” I ask Elara, amused at her reasoning.

“Yes, I am?” She questions, with confusion.

“We have the Force, Elara,” I remind her with a smile. “Together we can just use it and place them wherever we want.”

“Well, yeah,” She responds, frowning. Then, her eyes turn towards the terrace, analysing the space. “We should place it near that tree.” She points at a tall and wide tree that stands nearby the terrace, but due to the size of its crown, its shade hits the balcony. I nod at her, trusting her outdoors decorating instincts better than mine.

With the Force, we are able to smoothly place the tale and the chairs under shadow of the top of the tree. If we hadn’t used the Force, we would have wasted energy and time.

“I really need to work of my Force abilities.”

“We did it, didn’t we?” I frown funnily at her, with a smirk.

“You did most of it, I noticed.” She rolls her eyes, smiling and shaking her head. “I guess I should retake that, before joining the order I used the Force daily to levitate objects around me, but I stopped using that ability when I joined.”

“Maybe Padmé has more things to move, it can serve you as practice.” I suggest, pointing back inside.

However, when we walk back inside, Padmé is simply holding flowers in her hands, looking at the with indecision and confusion.

“Which flowers do you think are better?” She asks both of us, showing us the three types of flowers in her arms. There are yellow, pink and white flowers.

“Do you really think he will care about what flowers you choose?” Elara asks amused. “Do you think he will even notice in the first place?” I would notice them, if I had a favorite flower and someone places them for me, I would notice them.

“I hope...”

Meanwhile, I narrow my eyes at the flowers. Maybe the Force can give us a hint of which flowers are the most appropriate for this Altair. I must say, it is easier and comforting to concentrate on the Force in this planet. As I expand my senses, I feel a strong pull towards the white type of flowers.

“The white ones.” I inform Padmé, who simply looks at them and nods.

“Alright, then, follow me, I want to try the menu.”

And just like that, we keep preparing the welcoming villa for the arrival of certain Alderaanian prince.

#### ✰

As we wait in the terrace for the Prince, I glance at Elara, who seems very distracted with the landscape to even pay attention to the arrival of said prince. He is supposed to walk through the staircase that allows you access to the balcony.

By the way her eyes constantly blink and gawk at the scene, I can tell she loves this place. I wished that, as a Jedi, she could enjoy this kind of places more. It is adorable to see her enjoy the amount of natural beauty you can find here.

“Altair,” I hear Padmé’s voice.

As I look towards her, I see a man dressed with a silvery jumpsuit, wearing a darker piece of robe I recognize as an Alderaanian cloak. He is a young, handsome man with tawny brown skin, and black short hair. Apart from his luxurious clothing, he is wearing a nice, confident smile.

“My beautiful Padmé,” He speaks, extending his hand as a way to ask for Padmé’s. “The most precious masterpiece the Senate has ever seen.” Padmé lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head.

“You can’t stop, can you?”

“Not when you receive me with such an exquisite dress.” He teases, which makes Padmé look down. Is Padmé Amidala blushing? Are my eyes seeing it right? I glance at Elara, who smiles at me, clearly enjoying Altair’s arrival and his flirtatious behavior with Padmé.

“You look good too.”

“Breaking news,” Altair responds, before placing a kiss on Padmé’s hand. “I always do for you.”

“Oh, Altair,” Padmé takes her hand away from him with a wide grin. She looks at both Elara and me. “These are my Jedi friends, Elara Montrose and Anakin Skywalker.” Elara and I nod our heads, as a way to greet him.

“I’m glad to finally meet you, Padmé has talked about both of you.” He tells us, showing a cheerful and amiable smile.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Altair.” Elara responds, with a sweet and welcoming smirk.

“You’re skipping the whole protocol,” He points out, raising his eyebrows. For a moment, Elara raises her eyebrows too, with a mixture of panic and annoyance. “Don’t worry, I hate protocols too,” Then, relief washes over her face, as a smile shines through her eyes. “This house is splendid, Padmé,” Altair continues speaking as he looks around the villa. “Your mother was not lying when she said it was worth paying a visit.”

Then, he disappears into the dining room, the rounded one with a very pretentious name. Padmé raises her eyebrows at him, before walking after him.

“So, my mother did speak with you?” Altair laughs at Padmé’s suspicious tone.

“Padmé, it’s not my fault mothers love me,”

“You are used to meeting mothers, aren’t you?” She replies jokingly, which makes Altair smirk as he rolls his eyes.

 _He seems nice_. I hear Elara’s voice. As I turn to look at her, I give her little nod. I have to agree, he doesn’t seem like a threat. But you never know.

“Are these white Casheis?” He asks, as his eyes are fixated on the white flowers we had chosen this morning. “How did you know they are my favorite?” Padmé glances at me with a small, grateful smile, before her eyes look at Altair again.

“I… had a feeling.”

“Well, maybe we are not that bad of match after all…” Altair comments. His gaze quickly inspects Elara and me, with a polite smile in his face. He doesn’t seem like threat, he actually is being _too_ nice for being a member of a royal family. “So, what has she told you about me?”

“Only good things,” Padmé tells him, as he leans on the table with a smile.

“Your father is a very well respected member of the Senate.” I tell him. 

“Indeed,” Altair responds, as his facial expression shifts to a much more serious and respectful form. “I aspire to be as respected as Senator Bail Organa one day.” There is certain pride in his voice, but not in an arrogant way. 

“Well, now if you excuse us, Altair and I will spend the afternoon together. We won’t require your protection.” Padmé says in a polite manner, placing a hand on Altair’s bicep.

“Of course, Padmé.” Elara replies, before they leave the Room of the Morning Mist.

Then, there is a heavy silence in the room. I think none of us knows what to do, or what to say. Our mission here is to protect Padmé, and she doesn’t require our protection right now. If we were on the Temple, maybe we would find something to fill the gaps in our schedule, but here... 

“Do you want to have a walk around the island?” Elara’s voice, surprisingly, interrupts my thoughts. I glance at her, nodding faintly with a charming smile.

“Sure,” I respond, to which she grins radiantly.

We exit the house through a small door we find in the hallway, one that leads directly to the forest that acts as a natural shield for the house. I walk first, leading our way into Naboo's natural environment. It's completely astonishing, I must admit that. I only remember small flashes of the Nabooian forests from when we visited the Gungans, who eventually would help battle the Trade Federation blockade.

“What do you think of Altair so far?” I asks Elara, with curiosity.

“He seems alright,” She responds. I must admit, I am surprised at my own self. I don’t really like people when I first meet them. Padmé and Elara are exceptions. But Altair seems nice. “He is not what I was expecting a prince to be, but I don’t think that’s necessarily wrong.” I nod, completely agreeing with her. “And Padmé seems to like him.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I shrug.

I suppose she does like him, but it also seems strange. I feel like something is going to go wrong between them soon. Who knows, maybe they overcome it, but I do feel there’s something off between them now.

“You know, you were the first boy to ever sleep in the same bed with me.” All of a sudden, Elara speaks again, completely displacing me. 

“What?”

“Don’t act so surprised…” She responds with a shy and almost innocent smile. “It’s not like I hang out with a lot of people.” She adds, avoiding meeting my gaze. Somehow, I am very confused.

“I just thought that, well,” I start to speak, with a timid smile. “I thought before joining the Order you…” I try one more time, but I can’t seem to say what I want to tell her. It is strange, and weirdly embarrassing. “Yeah, I don’t know. Nevermind”

“No, it’s fine, Anakin. Tell me” She tells me with a nice smile. I look at her, before looking at the ground and letting out a nervous scoff.

“I thought you had had… sex with someone.” I finally say, avoiding her gaze.

“Oh, well, not really.” She says, shaking her head faintly, but repeatedly. “My mind was elsewhere, not in sleeping around.” She looks at me, while she speaks with a small smile in her rosy lips. “This may sound stupid but, I know it is a very intimate thing and I guess I never found the right person.” Then, she pauses and narrows her eyes at me, in an apologetic way. “I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable to talk about this...”

“No, no… It’s just a weird topic to talk about.” I reply quickly, frowning with a shy smirk. “Obi-Wan has always made it a very uncomfortable topic, to be honest. When I turned eighteen he asked me if I wanted to go to one of the underworld clubs to ‘explore’, just like his Master had done with him.” I confess, frowning at the ground. Obi-Wan just manages to make things really uncomfortable, he has a gift.

“Oh…” She lets out, with a small, disappointing frown. Then, I realize I haven’t told her the most important part.

“I declined.” I add, looking at her now, with faint eagerness. I declined his offer because, it felt wrong. It didn’t seem like something I wanted, and I don’t regret it. It is hard for me to see me with a stranger in that way.

“Oh…” She lets out again, but this time her eyebrows raise with relief. “Good,” She smiles, but after that she shakes her head. “I mean, those underworld clubs are only enslaving women to have sex with a bunch of strangers. I am surprised Obi-Wan offered in the first place, because it is kind of fucked up.”

“At least he offered, his master just took him, without asking.” I scoff, raising my eyebrows. But she doesn’t respond, she simply keeps walking slowly and looking at the ground, thoughtfully.

“It is still hard for me to understand why the Jedi don’t have any problems with sex.” She says after the moment of silence passes.

“Why?”

“I just can’t conceive the idea of sex without attachment.” She explains, frowning with confusion and a hint of frustration. “When you do that with someone, you’re sharing yourself, and as Jedi you may also emotionally engage with that person. The intensity of that moment, physically and emotionally… For someone sensitive to the Force, it must be hard to forget about those moments of connection.”

For a moment, I remember one dream, one arousing dream that I had a while back. Elara was in it. We were laying in a bed, one with white, silky sheets. It was peaceful and warming until her fingertips started to caress my face. Suddenly, our lips met and my hands were traveling through her body, discovering the corners of her tiny frame. Many flashes of us, connected in that exciting and pleasing moment wander through my mind, reminding me of the heat between us.

But now she’s looking at me. Her gaze is on me. I take a deep breath, pushing away the images from my mind.

“I-I just don’t know how it feels, or, what is it like.” I mumble. In all honesty, I don’t know what it feels like, but I can imagine, and I don’t think she is wrong. But my mind is working slower, _thanks_ to those images that appeared in my head.

“Yeah… I guess the only way you actually learn about is by,” She starts to say with a funny grimace. “Doing it.” I glance at her, meeting her sparkling eyes and I take a deep breath. Those images are not real, but she is, and she’s here with me now, smiling at me after talking about something so intimate for her.

“I mean, we do have enough education to understand the basics…” I tease with a smirk, as I stop in the middle of the forest. “I did listen to the long biology classes of Obi-Wan, you know?”

“Oh, you think?” She softly laughs, nodding slowly as she stops too.

“It can’t be that hard.” I scoff.

“Alright then, explain me the basics, let’s check your knowledge.” She crosses her arms over her chest teasing me with defiance. I widen my eyes as I avoid her gaze, freezing for a moment. I can’t do that, I don’t think I am able to do that.

“I- I won’t do that.” I scoff as I shake my head.

“Well, it can’t be that hard…” She responds, mocking my previous comment.

“You’re insufferable.” I tell her, narrowing my eyes slightly at her.

“Yes, of course.” She murmurs with a radiant grin.

As she starts walking again, I take a moment to breathe. Those images, that dream; I wouldn’t mind if those were real. It partially startles me while at the same time, I am extremely unbothered by the idea of sharing that scenario with Elara.

Is that normal? Is that the ‘physical attraction’ Obi-Wan has always told me about? The idea of asking her, somehow, if she has ever felt attracted to someone crosses my mind. However, before I can ask anything, her mind is already elsewhere.

“Oh, look at that!” She exclaims, rushing towards an open space between the woods. I follow her gaze towards a tranquil and small beach. It looks like an unspoiled and untouched beach. “This planet is filled with surprises, isn’t it?”

“So it seems.” I comment, with a half smile.

“You know, if Padmé also tells us to leave her during the afternoon, we could come here tomorrow and maybe bring some food with us.” She proposes, with a genuine smile. “We could take a swim.”

“Um… I don’t really know how to swim.” I admit, shrugging. 

“Me neither but,” She replies frowning funnily. “We can give it a try.” I don’t need much more convincing, not when it comes to her.

“Alright, yes,” I give in easily. “We’ll give it a try.”

“Great! Let’s keep exploring this wonderful island…”

#### ✰

“Good, I’m glad the Senator could enjoy some time with her family before going into hiding.” Obi-Wan’s holographic image politely speaks. “How was the attitude of the Queen?”

“Elara and I agreed that the Queen’s participation in this attack is out of the question. The Queen is a very strong supporter of Senator Amidala.” I reply. “She is definitely a great ally the monarch wouldn’t want to miss.”

Elara is sitting down next to me, in one of the chairs we placed on the terrace. The imagecaster is placed on the table, as Elara and I rest under the shadow of the tree. She nods in agreement, as the sunlight does hit her face and she partially sunbathes.

“What about this Prince?” My master asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Right now the Senator is alone with Prince Altair,” Elara starts to say, still keeping her eyes closed, as the sun illuminates her face. “He doesn’t seem like a threat; he came here on his own and his political ideas lay close to the Senator’s, and also his own father’s. It wouldn’t be practical to order her assassination.” She reasons, making both of our masters nod at her. “In addition, they seem to share a... very close relationship.” She finally opens her eyes and looks at the imagecaster.

“So, everything seems fine there...” Nyla murmurs, before turning to look at Obi-Wan.

“Yes, and Padmé chose a very isolated destination.” I point out, glancing around. “I think it would be hard even for you two to find us.”

“Good,” Obi-Wan responds. “But be sure to remind the Senator that communication is vital to ensure her protection.” 

“Yes, Master.”

“What about you?” Elara suddenly asks, with a small frown in her face. “Have you found something?”

“We weren’t able to find anything in relation to the dart,” Nyla explains, glancing at Obi-Wan and after that, looking at the front. “Obi-Wan is going to meet with an old acquaintance tomorrow, to see if he can obtain any information.”

“Until then, I ask you for discretion about everything.” 

“Of course, Master.”

“Have a good day,” Nyla says, with a nice smile. However, she seems to be unusually tired. “We should go to sleep already.”

“Alright, Nyla,” Elara says, smiling nicely at her master. “May the Force be with you.” She adds, looking at both of them.

“And you two, our young apprentices.” Obi-Wan’s voice sounds, before the transmission ends and the blue holographic figures disappear.

Elara closes her eyes again, enjoying the presence of a warming sun that is rare in Coruscant. She seems extraordinarily at peace here, surrounded by all the nature. With that soft pink jumpsuit she is wearing, she could definitely pass as a natural Nabooian woman. She’s got the beauty and class, even if she’s not aware of it.

“I think I should take a shower,” She mumbles after the short silence, interrupting the birds that had been chirping. “But we have to write this report before.” With her eyes opened she extends her hand across the table to reach the mobile computer that Padmé gave us.

“I can do it on my own, if you want to.”

“No, Anakin, I appreciate it, but we have to do it together,” She tells me. “You also deserve a moment for yourself.”

“Alright, we’ll write it and then we’ll take a shower.” As I say it, she sends me a smile, before starting to work on the report.

For a moment, I imagine the words I spoke. I see Elara standing in a shower, next to me as the drops of water fall upon us. Her body is completely exposed, but I can’t look away from her eyes. Her gaze has me entranced, as she ardently stares at me. All of a sudden, her hands slide through my shoulders towards the back of my neck, as her lips passionately land on mine.

I blink and frown as Elara starts to write on the computer. She seems unbothered by the thought that just crossed my mind, while I can’t seem to even glance at her. As a part of me wonders how would it feel to kiss her, the other rejects the idea of seeing her differently. It is a fantasy.

But _what_ a fantasy.

I finally glance at her, as she writes on the computer. Her typical small frown and the way she is narrowing her eyes are telling me she is completely focused. And she looks lovely. She always does.

At one point, she moves closer to me, so I can see the screen with her, but I am too distracted with the images in my mind, with the way she looks; with her. She asks me various times about the wording of the sentences. Only she would worry about how to word a sentence. I simply tell her it sounds fine, trying to keep my mind blank as the sun keeps warming me.

After the report has been finished, it is a surprising relief to see Elara leave for her room. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with her, it’s just her presence is overwhelming. It usually is not as easy to feel in Coruscant, the Force is too diluted there. But here, where there’s no one, and there’s so much peace, all my senses get lost in her mere presence.

Maybe a shower eases my mind, and my body. A _cold_ shower. 

Now, I have always been aware of my attachment towards Elara. Since I met her, I have felt linked to her. But it has intensified. Even in the first moment I saw her, she captivated me.

The moment I collided with her in that market street, changed my life, I know it did. She looked rushed and clearly fearful, but the only thing that would cross my mind is how beautiful she was. Her small body stood in front of me, for a moment, before running away again. Everything inside of me was screaming to follow her. And I did.

Despite the sarcastic, cynical and almost insolent attitude she presented herself with, I couldn’t sleep that night without her appearing in my dreams. I couldn’t get her out of my head.

When I told Obi-Wan to check her midichlorian count, he thought I was being paranoid, that her strength with the Force was average. Of course, she had placed a wall that prevented Obi-Wan from feeling anything. Someone with an average midichlorian count wouldn't be able to do that without training.

Once Obi-Wan saw her count, he had to swallow his own words. The blood test indicated 13,600. That number even surpasses his own. And _he_ gives _me_ lessons about how _my_ senses aren’t attuned...

Only a week after meeting her had passed and I was already captivated by her. I remember the faint anxiety when I thought, for a moment, that she would go back to her life. My mind recalls thinking about how she had her mother, about how she wouldn’t choose the Jedi.

I had accepted she was too good to be more than just a dream or a fantasy, when I encountered her in the hall. She looked radiant, and her eyes sparkled as she told me that she was joining.

My sixteen year old self knew in that moment that I would do anything to protect her; that she would have an opportunity, like me. I think it is only now that I can make sense of what I felt then, and what I feel now.

All the moments I have had with her since that moment, have been reminders of how much she matters to me. Now is when I actually realise that my attachment goes further than I thought.

I have never experienced this with any other person, ever in my life. When I was a kid, I really didn’t have the time to have a crush, and when I started to train with Obi-Wan… Yeah, definitely not then. But when Elara appeared in my life, she broke the scheme. She has always felt like a breeze of fresh, vigorizing air; like a slow, warming bonfire in the middle of a cold night.

Trying to lie to myself about my feelings has served no purpose, because now I have a gallery of moments that my mind won’t erase; moments I would like to freeze forever. Now, all these feelings are pouring out of me. If with Elara I already feel entranced enough, Naboo is doubling the sensation. Now I am enthralled.

Now my mind is filled with the images of us practicing our lightsaber skills, of us walking around the Temple, of the countless missions we have been on together, on how hard it has been to be away from her… Has she felt the same? Does she feel the same?

We do share this strange and unexpected connection…

Is it possible that she sees me with the same eyes I see her?

#### ✰

After dinner, we are sitting in the Crimson Room, where the staff have lit up a small fire in the fireplace. The fire lights the room in shades of orange, while we rest on the red velvet couches. I am next to Elara, and Altair is besides Padmé in front of us. There are glasses on the table, along with two bottles of expensive liquors.

I have only drank one glass of each drink that was brought to us, while Elara and Padmé are already on their fourth. Altair is on his third, which strangely surprises. Despite the amount of alcohol they have drunk, they are still not fully intoxicated, just slightly tipsy.

“Has my mother mentioned this house used to belong to the poet Omar Berenko?” Padmé asks, taking her fourth glass again and smiling nicely.

“Oh, really?” Altair replies, raising an eyebrow.

“He wrote the epic poem Defense of Naboo in the same room we had dinner.” Padmé informs. Elara and I nod with curiosity. I have heard of Omar Berenko, because he was a famous poet, but I haven’t read anything of him. Elara probably knows more about him.

“Then he was also kidnapped in this same house.” Elara comments, frowning at Padmé.

“Indeed.”

“Wonderful,” Altair sarcastically mumbles. “It would have fitted him best to take his own life in this living room with a sip of poison.”

“That would be too romantic of him.” Padmé responds, narrowing her eyes at Altair. Then, Padmé turns to look at Elara. “Talking about romantic writers, Elara, you should take a look at the library of the upstairs living room. We have some novels and books you’ll love.”

“Oh, now that’s wonderful.” Elara says with a genuine, grateful grin.

“You enjoy reading?” Altair asks, drinking from his glass.

“Yes, I like it a lot.” Elara looks at her glass, nodding. “But I mostly just read Jedi holo-books about the Force, about the Jedi history, and about the Galaxy. I would like to read more fiction.”

“What kind of fiction?” Altair inquires with interest.

“Well, adventures and dramas maybe…” Elara simply responds, shrugging. “I guess romance too.” I turn to look at her, as she nods with a smile.

“Then you have to read Dignity and Partiality, it is the best romantic novel ever.” Padmé claims.

“I have to differ, Padmé,” Altair frowns at Padmé. “I think The Lost Diaries is the best and most beautiful story.”

“Are you telling me that you prefer Noal Cass before Waile Dartys?” Padmé asks, with confusion. “Mr. Dartys is the dream of every woman and, probably, homosexual man in the Galaxy.”

“Your family has proven to be an inconvenience for a possible matrimony, but despite you and your endless list of intolerable traits, I must confess my deep undying love for you, Miss Barness.” Altair exaggeratedly switches his accent, mocking the behaviour of the character in the book. His impression even makes me laugh. Altair is definitely a funny and nice man. “Really romantic, yes.” 

“You definitely didn’t understand the book, did you?”

“Well, I’ll read both and I’ll be the judge of romanticism.” Elara cuts the book debate with a soft laugh. Which makes Altair raise his eyebrows at Padmé silently, before looking at me. He must have noticed I haven’t participated in the discussion, but sadly, books are not my thing.

“What about you Anakin, what do you like to do?” Altair asks, curiously.

“I like flying.” I respond, with a small smile. I haven’t really thought about my passions, but I do enjoy flying and piloting a lot.

“A pilot!” Altair exclaims with a wide grin. “Are you good at it?”

“One of the best.” I smirk, shrugging. Elara next to me lets out a soft laugh.

“I hate to admit it, but it’s true, he’s a great pilot.” Elara comments, glancing at me with a small, shy smile.

“Now I know who I can call if I need a ride.” Altair comments jokingly. I confidently grin at him, and Padmé nods.

“He also is very good with repairing and building things.” Padmé points out, with a proud smile. “When I met him he had built a protocol droid.”

“Wait, so you are a handsome young man and a good pilot, who knows how to repair and fix stuff, and in addition to all that, you are a Jedi?” Altair starts saying, to which I just frown amused. No one usually compliments me as much, I have to be the one to do that. “Congratulations, man, you’ve just become my idol.”

“Thank you, Altair.” I reply with a soft laugh. “I try my best.”

“Well, if you’re going to publicly claim Anakin is your idol, I must also declare Elara is mine.” Padmé says, pointing at Elara with her right hand, while she holds her glass in her left one. “A smart girl, who possesses endless beauty, inside and out; cultured and intellectual, interested in the arts and who happens to be a Jedi.”

“Interested in the arts?”

“Oh, yes,” Elara looks down, shaking her head. “She means music, I love it.” There is something about her when she talks about her love for music that softens a place inside of my chest. She’s lovely.

“Oh, do you know how to play any instrument?”

“I know how to play the keybed.” Elara answers, nodding. “I also know the basics for the quetarra, and my voice, of course.” She laughs raising her eyebrows.

“Oh, that’s amazing!” Altair exclaims, frowning with surprise. “Now you won’t expect me to just let it go without asking you to show us your musical abilities, if you feel comfortable with it.”

“Oh, sure,”

“I think my mother keeps a quetarra they bought my sister when she turned sixteen, she wanted to learn but, she never actually learned.” Padmé says, placing her glass on the small table and standing up. She walks into the room next to the Crimson Room, and it doesn’t take her long to come back with the instrument in her hands. “Here it is!”

“Alright…” Elara murmurs, as Padmé hands her the instrument. She looks at the eight strings, thoughtfully. “I need to tune it, wait a moment.” She starts to play string by string, humming the correct melody and tightening the strings more until they sound correctly.

“You can do it by ear?” Padmé asks, with a small frown. “I remember my sister had to use a tuner.”

“Yes, I learned to do it by ear,” She says, before checking the last string. “Tuners are expensive.” She smiles, before all her fingers caress the strings, sounding in tune. I may be biased, but it feels enchanting to see her just tuning the quetarra. “Got it. Which song do you want?”

“In Basic?”

“Preferably,” Elara responds with a small smile.

“Do you know _Uphill Fort_ by Shed Eera?” Altair asks, raising one of his eyebrows.

“Do you know how to read aurebesh?” Elara smiles confidently. Even I know that song, it was very popular some years ago. “You can give me something more difficult, you know?”

“Do you remember that singer I told you about, Aimee Gundo?” Padmé asks, looking at Elara, who nods enthusiastically. “Try with _All the flowers_ , you loved that song.”

“Yeah, that’s good.”

She starts to hit the strings with her fingertips, setting a rhythm and a beat for the song. It is lively and upbeat, and the smile in her face sweetens the harmonic sounds coming from the quetarra. She starts to sing, and her loving, faintly raspy voice captures my senses.

_All the flowers_

_blooming to enchant young lovers,_

_they awake my illusions._

_They say you’re coming here_

_and I will be waiting,_

_with my soul filled with resolve_

_and the taste of the dreams I have achieved._

_If this is the road I have built with you,_

_I will never look back,_

_Don’t hold on to the past._

_So many times I have lost myself,_

_Inside of your eyes I’ve found me every time._

_So many times I have fallen,_

_With your hand I always rise up one more time._

While she sings, she keeps her eyes closed, opening them from time to time to glance at us. When her gaze meets mine, for a small moment, while she is so sweetly singing such a beautiful song, I wish I could just freeze time. I want to cherish this moment for the rest of my life. I am completely entranced by all her wonderfulness.

As she finishes, she softly laughs and her cheeks softly redden. She’s lovely, and that’s scary. 

“Elara, that was wonderful”

 _Indeed, Padmé_. I think to myself.

“Wow, yeah…” Altair murmurs impressed, with a genuine smile. “You two are definitely interesting people.”

“Says the Prince…” Elara comments, as she sits closer to me to place the quetarra in the couch. I glance at her. She’s so unaware of how I feel, so unaware she has had me since the beginning.

“Well… That’s not as interesting, it’s not something I built for myself, that’s simply a right.” Altair responds, which catches my attention and takes me away from my thoughts. “After my father retires, I plan on taking his place in the Senate, and I’ll finally do something for myself.”

“So, Senator Organa will retire?” I ask, curiously. 

“At one point, soon,” Altair answers, shrugging politely and faintly. Padmé turns to look at him with a slight frown. “Meanwhile I am getting ready to carry and preserve his legacy the best way I can, but always with the values he taught me.” He continues. “And eventually, to continue our legacy I’ll adopt a child of my own.”

“Adopt?” Elara inquiries.

“Yes, I was adopted.” Altair responds with a nice smile. “But my parents taught me that I could always choose who to be, that the fact that I wasn’t their son by blood didn’t take away the person I grew up to be. Despite what biology may say, they _are_ my parents.” Padmé sighs and smiles, standing up.

“Well, it’s time already to go to sleep.” She says, with a polite grin. “Tomorrow I have to go through some proposals by other Senators, I guess you’ll join me during the morning.”

“Yes, we will, Padmé.” Elara tells her, nodding nicely. Altair watches how Padmé starts to leave, and he stands up rushed.

“It was great meeting you two.” He says, only glancing at us for a second. He seems to be rushed to leave the living room.

“Oh, it was a pleasure.” Elara responds.

“Have a good night.” He tells us.

After that, he walks out of the living room and Elara sighs, looking at me. I glance at her, taking a deep breath, as my pulse increases. Now my mind goes back to the place it was before Altair spoke.

“I like him for Padmé.” Elara comments with a nice smile. She’s close to me, so close to me and smiling, and she looks gorgeous. I let out the deep breath I had taken and raise my eyebrows.

“You do?”

“Yes, I think they would be great together.” She starts to say, looking at me with her expressive and sparkling dark eyes. “And they do like each other, a lot.” _I like you, Elara_. I think, as my chest is set on fire. “I hope what they feel doesn’t intervene with their professional sphere.”

Professional.

I look away, nodding. Elara will never see me the way I see her, because she is a good Jedi. She won’t see me as anything else that is not her friend. And here I am, madly infatuated with her, hoping and believing in impossible dreams.

We are Jedi. I can hear Elara in the back of my mind, telling me how being a Jedi doesn’t mix well with having attachments. I wish I could believe that, I wish I could simply ignore it. But I have to pretend, for her. I stand up, feeling her warm presence so close to me.

“I think I am going to go to sleep.” I say, and she just looks up at me, nodding with slight confusion. I am acting too rushed, I probably startled her.

“Oh, yes, of course.” She responds, softly. “Do you want to sleep with me tonight too?” Her question catches me off guard. I open my mouth to speak, but I am not able to verbalise anything. _She_ is inviting me. But I can’t.

“No, I… I’ll sleep in my room, alone.” I mumble.

“Oh…” She lets out, swallowing with chilling look, filled with disappointment and hurt. Maybe not, maybe my mind is misreading the situation. “Good night, then…”

 _Good night, Elara_. I think, but I block it from her. Then, I leave. It’s the best thing for her… Isn’t it?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! It was really special to write, because I absolutely adore writing for Anakin's perspective. The song Elara sings is an adapted translation I made of a Spanish song called Todas las Flores (All the Flowers) by the band Presuntos Implicados.
> 
> We also have a new addition to our cast, everyone welcome: Gabriel Darku as Altair Organa!
> 
> I would like to hear your thoughts on this special insight from Anakin!  
> Next chapter will be from Elara's perspective...
> 
> By the way, I also wanted to tell you my new twitter account, because my personal account was filled with Star War stuff and I bet my friends were starting to hate me, so if you want to follow me or just message me about the story, just search for @ nabooians.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Laura.


	15. Allure

[ _elara_ ]

I open my eyes as the soft light of the morning enters my room. The white curtains that hang by the arches dance through the air, into the room, welcoming the soft breeze of the morning. This is our second day in Naboo, and I'm still not used to the peace of this place.

I turn my body on my left side. It's empty, and for a moment, I feel a sudden wave of disappointment taking over my chest. However, a heavy pressure on my chest quickly reduces it to just a sad ache in the background. That dense fog clouds the rest of emotions on my head. All I can feel is this heavy confusion and pain, and I know they are not mine. They are Anakin's.

I stretch myself on the enormous bed, which is definitely too big for just one person. As I slowly sit up, I take a deep breath as my eyes take in the pieces of landscape that slip through my windows. I get my bare feet on the cold but luxurious white tiles, and I walk towards one of the arches. As I cross it, I walk out into the small balcony my room has access to.

My eyes photograph the view of the crystalline waters extending through the mountain ranges. It is a beautiful place, relaxing and peaceful. I have never felt more at peace with the Force in all my life. With no distractions and a place filled with life, but at the same time so quiet, it is easier to feel the Force. But maybe it is  _ too _ isolated.

I cover my body with a robe and grab the book I took from the library yesterday. After Anakin left for bed, I decided to look for something to distract my mind. I found that book Padmé was talking about, titled  _ Dignity and Partiality _ . So far, I can say I am enjoying it very much.

When I leave the room, the halls of the house are completely illuminated, as light enters through the immense, ornamented arches. There is a limited amount of people organising and cleaning the house, only what Padmé considered was basic maintenance.

They glance at me with strange looks in their eyes, and I realise it must be uncommon to see a woman walking with a robe and barefoot around the house. That doesn't sound like something Padmé would do with the staff around.

I take a peek into the kitchen, and thankfully, nobody is inside. The white and bright cupboards and the island in the middle welcome me into the radiant room. I walk towards the cooling chamber, to get some blue milk and a Juugan fruit. While I have breakfast in silence, I continue reading the book. Elayne is definitely my favorite character so far, and I really hope things work out between Mr. Bain and Jaleila.

When my breakfast is finished, I tidy up the table and walk towards the kitchen door, with the open book in my hands. As I step out of the kitchen, I collide with someone. I recognize the robes of the person in front of me, and I look up to find his azure, distressed gaze.

“Oh, good morning, Elara,” Padmé’s voice makes me turn to look at her, before I am even able to apologise. “Look at you, aren’t you going to get dressed?” I look down at my night dress and the robe I put on top of it. I close the robe a bit, and keep the book close to my chest.

“I mean, I am dressed.” I reply with a small smile.

“Oh, yes, I know but, I thought you maybe wanted to wear something else.”

“I’m actually fine,” I say, shaking my head. “What have you planned for this morning?”

“I have to read some studies and review some reports and statistics…” She informs as she starts walking through the hall. I glance at Anakin, but he is already walking after Padmé.

“Sounds fun,” Anakin comments raising his eyebrows, and scoffing.

“Yeah, very.” I reply, with a small frown, following them slowly. He didn’t talk to me; he didn’t even look at me.

_ What the fuck _ .

“It is worth it,” Padmé says, looking at us with a polite grin.

She opens a door that leads us into a wide room, illuminated with the rays of sunlight that enter through the arches. I would assume this is an office, due to the presence of a wide desk by the arches. There are two large chesterfield couches that are placed one in front of the other as you walk into the room.

I step inside of the office the last one, as my mind still thinks about what is going on with Anakin. I don’t know what have I done to receive this kind of treatment. Just when I thought everything was fine between us, apparently, _ it is not _ .

“Altair brought me this study about the costs of militarization in the Republic. It obviously covers the financial and economic impact this has on the Republic, but it includes the social and political price we will pay if we militarize the Republic.” Padmé says as she walks towards the desk. I frown, as I do have mixed feelings about the militarization topic.

“I must admit I am partly against militarization… I have the feeling the credits that would be used on creating and funding an army could be directed towards other areas in society that may need it more but…” I start to say, sitting down in one of the couches. “You know there’s been a lot of Separatist noise in the galaxy… If a war starts, I am afraid the Republic is not ready to face it.”

“For there to be a war, you need two sides,” Padmé replies, with a soft frown. “If we don’t undergo militarization, we can always opt for a peaceful and diplomatic solution. Dialogue is the way to solve conflicts, not throwing armies around.”

“For there to be a war you need two sides, you’re right,” Anakin nods, as he stands nearby the couch in front of me. “But you also need equal power to survive. If somehow this situation evolves into a war and the Separatists do become a militarized army, we won’t survive any attack without an army.” Padmé looks at Anakin, narrowing her eyes. 

“I just don’t understand why are we even considering armies and wars as an option when, in the first place we haven’t even received any direct threats. We should seek for dialogue and diplomacy instead,” She responds, organising some papers rushed, almost with a hint of anger. “In the Senate, our job is to organize the Galaxy through peaceful solutions and intellectual discourses. And as Jedi, you shouldn’t even think about war, you are peacekeepers.” Anakin looks down, taking a deep breath.

“Yes, Padmé, but what if the war comes to us?” I nicely speak, with an understanding look. “I understand the price of war for the Galaxy, I do, but I can tell you right now that the Jedi wouldn’t survive on their own in an intergalactic conflict.”

“And our duty as Jedi might be to keep the peace,” Anakin adds, glancing at Padmé. “Peace in the Republic.” Then, she looks at both of us and nods slowly.

“Alright, I have been having this exact debate for months in the Republic Senate, and I am not going to have it in my own house.” She sits down in her desk, and I nod.

“Understandable.” I say, before giving her a smile and opening the book again.

The page I had left the reading on, is now slightly folded from when I collided with Anakin. I glance at him, as he paces around the room, inspecting it. I try to keep my concentration on the book as Padmé calls him, trying to figure out something for him to do.

At the end, Padmé gives him a notebook and a pencil. He seems to be… Drawing. I have never seen him drawing before. Maybe he is writing, working on his calligraphy even, but… He really seems to be sketching. However, I try to stay focused on the book and its compelling romantic narrative.

After a while, I have already read past the centerfold of the book, and I have been able to concentrate in the story. Apparently, Dartys is in love with Elayne. I am enjoying this book too much. But I am soon taken away from the story.

“Maybe we should take shifts to protect Padmé,” Anakin tells me from the couch in front of me. I frown at him slightly, before he continues with his explanation. “That will be more productive for the both of us.” I take a second to realize what he is saying.

_ Productive? What the fuck possessed you, Anakin? _ I wonder, blocking all my thoughts from him. Whatever he is going through, he is pushing me away, that much I can tell. 

And he must have a very convincing reason to use the productivity of our time as an excuse. Like there was something here to do that was productive in any way.  _ He is really trying to mess with me, isn’t he? _

“Oh,” I say, narrowing my eyes slightly. “Of course, yeah…” I give him the space he wants, for now.

I won’t have an argument right now. Maybe I can get answers differently, it doesn’t necessarily has to be by confrontation. I think we’ve come to terms with the idea that I don’t really like confrontation itself, I do prefer diplomacy and dialogue at best, but sometimes confrontation is not an option, it’s just the only way.

Everything just seemed so right yesterday. I feel such peace beside him, one I am not sure I have ever felt before. It is strange to feel so good with someone, to the extent of feeling a faint and soft tingling sensation just from being with him.

When I woke up beside him, it warmed my heart for the rest of the day; and the walk around the island… It was magical, and strangely awkward, while we discussed the topic of sex, but I am certainly not bothered by its awkwardness. I just had never spoken about it with Anakin, but I am glad we spoke about it.

It was truly one of the best days in my life, until he decided to decline my invitation to sleep in my room. Now, I understand he maybe wanted some space, but if that was the case, he would have spoken to me other than to talk about shifts and their productivity.

Something about mixing this place’s alluring energy with his familiar and warm one makes me wonder if this is what a home is supposed to feel like.

While we were in the woods, there was a moment in which I forgot what I was. I would have just stayed there, with Anakin, and forgotten about the mission; the Jedi.

When I found the beach, I thought about the two of us traveling through the waters, together. I pictured myself in a very exposing swimsuit, and Anakin wearing one too, with much of his skin exposed.

My creative imagination pictures his muscular torso, as I have seen in some of my dreams; some I don’t have the bravery to even think about. I  _ promised _ myself I wouldn’t.

The beach, however… Reminds me of the conversation, and we said we would go. That’s the perfect opportunity to guess what happens with him. Eventually, he will have to tell me, just like the other times there has been a problem between us.

“Padmé, have you planned anything with Altair this afternoon?” I suddenly ask, closing my book as I glance at Padmé, who is sitting in the comfortable chair of her desk. She softly frowns and nods.

“Yes, we agreed he would teach me how to bake traditional Alderaanian desserts…”. She informs, thoughtfully, staring at the papers on her desk. “You can have the afternoon to yourselves.”

“Good, because Anakin and I will go to one of the shores to spent our afternoon.” I respond, looking at Anakin from the corner of my eye. He takes his gaze off the papers, to give me a confused stare. “We said we would, yesterday.” I remind him, with a small smile.

I hate to, in a way, force him to do something with me, but I hate it less than to have him not speaking to me, ignoring me and believing I did something wrong; believing I hurt him.

“Oh, great!” Padmé says nicely. “I can ask the staff to prepare a small picnic if you’d like.” Both of us turn to look at Anakin, who nervously glances back at us, before taking a deep breath.

“Sure,” He responds, shrugging. “Whatever you say…”

After that, a silent veil falls over the room again, as the sound of the rumbling waters of the lake fills the room. Now, I just have to wait.

####  ✰

As Anakin and I are walking out of the house, there’s a heavy silence between us. Whatever it is I have done, it must be hurting Anakin to keep him from speaking to me this way. He is carrying a bag with small portions of food, while I am focused on not destroying the hem of the dress. I decided to wear a loose and olive silk dress that covers, for now, the swimsuit Padmé gave me. 

I glance behind me, to check on him. He is thinking, I know he is. In addition, he is completely blocking me from being able to sense the faintest glimpse of what is happening with him.

“I started to read that book Padmé told me,” I start to say, in an attempt to get him to speak with me. “It’s very romantic, actually. And strangely educational, we are more prejudiced than we may think…” I continue, after he looks at me with a small frown. He doesn’t respond, he simply looks down at the ground. I take a deep breath, before making my last statement. “I just hope that Dartys and Elayne marry at the end of the book. They both need each other, even if they are terrible at actually telling each other how they feel.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, looking at me with his eyes slightly narrowed. I can’t read him right now; I can’t tell if he is interested, confused or annoyed. I don’t like not being able to read him, especially when I have never had any problem reading anyone.

“They are not good at speaking with each other. Dartys is very awkward, and Elayne is very defensive.” I explain, glad that he finally spoke to me. “It’s complicated. The answers are there but… Miscommunication is a problem.” I tell him, with my eyebrows raised and a small smile. “Pride and fear sometimes lead to miscommunication.” Then, I look away, as we keep walking through the narrow path we paced yesterday.

“You might be right.” I hear his voice, as he takes a deep breath. “But maybe fear can actually prevent unwanted scenarios.” I glance at him, with a frown and an amused smile.

“But it also keeps away the wanted ones.” I tell him, shrugging. His eyes change for a brief moment, sparkling with a different light. I look at the front and I see the beach waiting for us in the distance, as the reflection of the sun shines through the waters. I stop to look at the landscape. “I keep feeling enchanted by this place and its views.” He stands beside me.

“Me too.” He comments. We stand there silently, and for a moment, I feel his stare on me, sending an electrifying shiver down my spine.

However, when I look at him he is softly smiling, his gaze wandering through the landscape. It’s the first time I see him smiling today. I have never realized before how much I like the curve of his lips.

“What are you looking at?” He asks me, turning to look at me with a small smirk.

“Uh… You.” I respond, with a charming, faint grin. “I like watching you smile.”

His pupils widen, darkening his intense crystalline eyes. Even when the azure tones seem imperceptible, his gaze seems to drown my senses, trapping me in his blue eyes. There’s something about his stare, that even when it seems to be cold, it manages to warm me. I glance away, taking a deep breath.

“Last one to reach the beach is a Youngling!” I exclaim, as I start to run and I look at Anakin, just to see him rolling his eyes.

However, he starts to run after me. This was a horrible idea, because a dress is probably the worst thing to wear for a run, and he is winning. Of course he is, he is faster than me. But I have different methods to assure a win. Sometimes it’s not about physical speed, but rather about mental speed. I pretend to trip, falling to the dirt.

Anakin immediately looks back, rushing towards me with a small confused and worried frown. He is about to ask me something, as he kneels before me. I pull his arm with a wicked grin, making him fall to the ground, before jumping back on my feet and running away faster than ever.

When I arrive on the beach, I stop running as I let out a loud laugh. However, Anakin doesn’t seem as pleased. Right. Maybe I made him even more angry than he was. 

“I can’t believe you cheated...” He tells me as he arrives besides me at the beach, with a hint of frustration and, maybe, even betrayal. 

“Don’t be a baby,” I pout, before pointing to my dress. “I am wearing a dress, what were you expecting?” He lets out a soft scoff, before looking around the beach.

I sigh with relief and happiness, as my eyes take in the place. I decide to take off my shoes, letting my bare feet touch the hot and surprisingly soft sand. I would have expected it to be rougher. I start to walk further into the beach, as Anakin just stares at the ground.

"I don't like sand" He mumbles with a grimace. “It’s coarse and irritating. It reminds me of Tatooine.” His voice is low, harsh and bitter.

I slightly narrow my eyes at him, with a mixture of emotions. I am worried, and then there are two different sparks in my chest: one that is curious, wanting to know if what is troubling him is related to that, and one that is scared about how his demeanor darkened with the mere reminder of Tatooine. He seems to notice the tone of his voice had faint brushes of hostility, because he shrugs.

“And it gets everywhere.” He adds, his gaze lighter this time. 

“Well,” I start to say, looking at the sand raising my eyebrows. Then, I glance at him with a purposely up-lifting smile. “We hate sand then.” I tell him, nodding. His gaze settles on me, as a soft and charming grin appears in his face, warming my chest.

I drop the the shoes on the sand, as Anakin places the bag on the ground. I look at the body of water in front of me, which seems to be waiting for me. I take off the dress, letting a great part of my skin exposed, more than I am used to.

Padmé only gave me two swimsuit options: one was a strapless, filled with transparencies swimsuit and the other one, was a scarlet bathing suit, with an scandalous plunging neckline. I opted for the scandalous, extremely exposing neckline. At least this one has straps. 

I leave the dress next to the bag, as Anakin places a wide blanket on the sand. I cross my arms over my chest, in an attempt to cover my almost nonexistent cleavage. I have always had small breasts, but I still feel very naked and bare.

“Let’s go for a swim.” I tell him, but he shakes his head, without looking at me.

“I don’t really feel like it.” He replies, with that low, bitter and distant tone that I hate to hear.

“Oh, Anakin,” I say, rolling my eyes as I let out a soft scoff. “Come on, are you going to let me swim on my own when I don’t even know how to?” My eyebrows raise, and he glances at me for a moment.

“Yes.” Then, his eyes unnecessarily go back to the already placed and wrinkless blanket. “And I don’t know how to swim either.” I hold my own biceps, still covering my torso with my crossed forearms.

“If I drown it’ll be your fault.” I say, hoping some emotional manipulation works.

“I’ll live with it.”  _ Damn it. _

“You’ll have to do reports on your own.” I smile, and he glances at me again, this time with a quick and forced smile.

“I can always not do them” I don’t know if he is mad or simply trying to annoy me. If it is the later, he is definitely succeeding.

“Anakin…” I murmur, stepping closer to him with a pout. He raises his eyebrows, maintaining his serious look.

“Elara…” He mocks me, emulating my own tone of voice. 

“Fine.” I respond, sending him a cold glare. “If I die it better be in your conscience forever.”

“Elara, go for a swim, for force’s sake!” He exclaims, and I don’t know if he is even joking anymore. He does seem annoyed, so I won’t push him anymore.

I start to slowly walk towards the water, my feet pacing the hot sand as I sense a feeling of insecurity crawling through my bare body. I remember the older girls in the orphanage, how they used to pick on each other about their bodies, about their lack of curves, of breasts; or their alleged excess of them.

One kid used to constantly remind me I had a tiny frame, indicating that I was weak, and another one used to make fun of my nose, saying it was “ _ too rectangular, squared looking and ugly _ ”. Insecurity is rooted in our system since we are young, even when our worries are greater than our beauty, they can still manage to have you think for a small second of the day that your physicality is not enough.

My feet touch the water on the shore, feeling the contrast between the burning ground and the freezing waters. I let out a gasp, as I start to walk inside of the lake, feeling the water surrounding my legs slowly.

“Fuck, it’s cold...” I whine, feeling the shivers that run through my body as the water reaches my thighs.

I hear one of Anakin’s soft scoffs as I freeze, letting my body accept the temperature of the water. If he is somehow laughing, he can’t be as annoyed now. I am glad about that… I really hate the idea of not being in good terms with him. Not only I don’t like to have pending conflicts, but it just doesn’t feel right. It unsettles me.

I keep walking, feeling the cold water slipping between my legs and just above my hips, which forces me to take a deep breath. I should do it all at one; quicker and less painful. I close my eyes before diving under the surface. I feel a quick cold rush that wraps around my skin, but I start to move my arms and legs, finding an impulse to swim and keep my body moving.

When I get out of the water, I pull my hair backwards, keeping it away from my face. I start to move around slowly, finding a comfortable way of staying afloat. I soon realize it is a question of strength; I have to create my own currents in the water. Plus, I have the Force. Once I have finally gotten the idea of how to swim, I let a short self satisfied laugh.

I decide to dive under the water one more time, this time opening my eyes. It is very difficult to actually see something clearly, but the figures are enough to identify what’s underneath the surface. There are small, teal colored fishes, rushing away from me. I must have scared the poor little guys…

When I go back to the surface, the bottom half of Anakin’s body is already covered by the freezing waters. He is concentrating on his breathing, with his eyes closed as he walks further into the water.

My gaze, however, can’t seem to forget his bare, muscular chest. I have never seen him like this, only in my head and my imagination. Those images do not accurately represent the magnificent view his body is. He looks really… good.

He opens his eyes, forcing me to look at them. A nervous smile appears in my face. I hope he didn’t notice I was staring. He, awkwardly, smiles back at me. Oh…  _ What if he saw? _ I hope he didn’t. I was just looking… Objectively, he has an attractive muscular and physical construction.

“Hey…” I tell him with a small frown, filled with confusion. I am trying to keep my eyes off of his body, but they seem to adore the view. “I thought you didn’t want to swim.” He takes a deep breath, nodding slowly.

“I changed my mind.” He says, before walking further into the water. He is containing himself from letting out any gasp or even showing the slightest shiver. “I guess didn’t want you to drown, after all” He simply says, with a small smirk. Something inside me quivers when his lips curve and his wild eyes glance at me.

When the water reaches his shoulders, he submerges his head quickly, just to get out seconds later. However, the drops of water slide through his skin, almost making it gloriously shine. It feels like every inch of his skin is pulling me to touch it.

When I meet his eyes again, I take a breath and draw a smile in my lips, hoping he doesn’t get a glimpse into my mind.

“Imagine explaining that to Obi-Wan…” I tell him, trying to conceal the amount of inappropriate thoughts that went through my head. He nods slowly and scoffs.

“Or Nyla.” I let out a soft laugh, relieving some of the tension that had accumulated in my body.

“Oh, yeah, she would kill you.” I reply with a wide smile.

Both of us stand there, smiling and although I don’t feel that overwhelming pressure over my muscles, I still feel the need to touch his now sparkling skin. He  _ truly is _ a handsome man.

I move my arms, taking a deep breath that pushes the thoughts to the back of my mind. I start to swim around, in an attempt to clear my mind. I don’t know what is going on with me, but I can’t let it happen. 

“I like swimming… It is very soothing.” I softly say, as I start to swim backwards, to keep an eye on Anakin. He is now moving his arms through the water too, pushing away the tides.

“It’s nice, yes.” He responds, with a small fleeting smile.

My mind drifts again, as an overwhelming worry takes over my body. I really don’t know what is wrong with him; I don’t even know what is happening to me. A strong concern is starting to grow within me, and I don’t like to feel  _ this _ worried. I really don’t like this energy I am perceiving, mostly because he is closing himself from me. All I am left with after that is a cold and distant emptiness, a chilling void.

“Are you alright, Anakin?” I ask him. My voice comes out softer than I had intended.

“Uh-Yeah, why do you ask?” He responds with certain hesitation.

“I don’t know…” I shake my head, taking a pause and finding the best way to put it into words. “You seem… Off.” He keeps swimming, looking away from me thoughtfully.

“I am here with you, am I not?” He smiles at me, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“Yeah, but…” I start to speak, however, I realize he won’t tell me anything. “Nevermind.”

I glance away from him, as my mind keeps counting the endless list of things that could happen to him.  _ Why won’t he just share it? _ I can’t get the idea out of my head, that this is my fault, that I have done something. Anakin wouldn’t act strangely around if he didn’t think I have overstepped any kind of limit or I have hurt his feelings.

“Wanna swim towards that rock?” He suddenly asks, pointing towards a salient rock that emerges further into the lake. I nod with a smile.

“Sure.”

We quietly move our arms and legs through the water, enjoying the soothing sensation of the teal lagoon. As our limbs create new currents, I can hear the movement of the tides mixed with the other sounds of nature. This is probably one of the best experiences I have ever had the pleasure to enjoy.

Once we reach the small rocky island, Anakin gets on top of it easily. He extends his hand to help me, and as I take it, I feel the sudden contrast of his burning skin against mine. Now the water feels colder than ever, and as I leave the lake behind, stepping on the rock, I feel the growing warmth within me.

However, he lets go, reminding me my own surroundings. I don’t understand how sometimes he manages to do that; to make me forget about what I have around me. In those times, there’s only  _ him _ .

I sit down on the rock, leaving a small gap between Anakin and I. The heat of the sun, although emotionally not comparable to Anakin’s, warms my body, making the droplets in my skin dry. The feeling of the sun is pleasant and affable, whereas Anakin’s touch is ardently tender.

“So, are you going to tell me more about this book you’re reading or…?” Anakin’s voice asks softly, as I open my eyes to look at him.

“I thought you didn’t want to.” I mumble with a shrug, shaking my head. He faintly frowns for a second, and I realise my facial expression must look sadder from the outside than I actually feel.

“Of course-” He starts to say, before taking a pause, glancing at the lake around us. “Of course I want to, Elara,” His voice is smooth and soft as he speaks, which makes me swallow nervously, for an unknown reason. Anakin’s eyes are sparkling with tenderness and care, but he looks at the ground with a smile. “I have been listening to your lectures about half of the Jedi Archives for years, this is an upgrade.” I look away from him as a soft laugh escapes my lips.

“Oh, you’re mean!” I comment, before looking at him one more time. The faint wrinkles near his eyes fill my heart with overflowing and sudden happiness. “But yes, I will tell you about it, if you want to know more…”

I tell him about the story, including moments such as the ball in which Elayne and Waile meet, or the ardent confession of Waile’s feelings. I explain as best as I can how I think they feel about each other, what I feel they are going to do next, and as I do, Anakin listens to me with a small smile.

“Yeah, that sounds complicated…” He comments, after a while, and looking away from me. The water has dried from our skins while we have been sitting here, under the sun. 

“It’s frustrating, honestly, because you know they want each other but they are just-” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It really frustrates me to read about two characters who are clearly meant for each other, but they can’t seem to get through the circumstances in which they are placed. “They are just dumb.”

Anakin nods as he keeps looking around, in silence. Only the sound of the tides hitting the rock can be heard. However, Anakin stands up.

“I think I’m going back to the shore.” He informs, with a small shrug.

“Oh, I’ll go with you.” I reply, nodding and standing up on the rock. We walk through the rough surface of the rock, as I follow Anakin towards the edge.

Anakin stops, in front of the body of water. I have the sudden impulse to simply grab his hand and take him in the water, so I do. I smirk as I take his hand and jump, pulling him with me to water. The water quickly surrounds us, embracing our warm skins with its chilling temperature.

When I get out of the water, I let out a loud laugh. Anakin shakes his head and he narrows his eyes at me.

“What the hell was that?” He exclaims, just to receive as a response a loud giggle from me. He nods and raises his eyebrows, with an defiant smirk. “Oh, really? You wanna play that way?”

He starts to swim towards me, to which I quickly react by moving my arms through the tides in a rushed manner. However, I can’t seem to get very far as I swim, laugh and breathe at the same time, and when he grabs my ankle, I feel how he pulls by body towards him.

His arm slides through my waist, pulling our torsos together before his fingers start to tickle my waist. I continue laughing loudly, telling him to stop, but as he does, he immerses the both of us under the water. I keep my mouth closed as I stay underwater next to him. When my throat and my lungs start to burn, he takes me back to the surface.

As I feel the air around me I take a deep breath, while he holds me close to him. His skin feels like a burning star against mine, like the vivid flames of a fire. I open my eyes to find his worried gaze, which also has a hint of guilt.

“Are you alright?” He asks checking my expression, putting one of his hands under my chin. I let out a soft laugh, nodding at him. For a moment, I forget where I am, what I am; I am trapped in his crystal eyes. The sparkling glow in his gaze shows me how close we are to each other, our faces being just inches away.

“I'm perfectly fine…” I answer smiling, with a soft fading voice, perfectly coordinated with the movement of his arm as he lets me go. Something inside me wishes he hadn’t.

We swim back to the beach, where the bag Padmé had had prepared for us awaits us, with a variety of fruits and desserts inside of it. As we eat the goods the staff gave us, we enjoy the peace of the small tides arriving at the shore, and the warming sun illuminating us. This is such a beautiful place.

“Padmé told me she wanted to go to some nearby waterfalls tomorrow, the three of us.” Anakin speaks suddenly, bringing me back to reality. I nod with a small smile, before remembering Padmé’s unusual behaviour when I mentioned Altair.

“Something happened between her and Altair.” I murmur, letting out my thoughts. “Padmé today was… Strange about him.” Anakin scoffs, nodding slowly.

“Yeah, well, I knew something was going to happen between them, I’m not surprised.” 

“I see…” I tell him, narrowing my eyes. “The power of the Chosen One.” I say with a lower pitch, which makes him roll his eyes in annoyance.

“Stop it, you know I hate it that you call me that.” He turns look at me, raising his eyebrows.

“That’s why I say it.” I smile widely, but he frowns, taking a grape from a bowl and throwing it at me. As it hits my face, I open my mouth, letting out a loud laugh. “Hey! Don’t waste food, people are starving across the Galaxy!” I tell him with a forced frown. He nods and laughs softly.

“Fine, then, just eat it.” He responds, before looking at the sand. “I bet that will save those people’s lives…”

His mind leaves again, and I stare at him as his expression grows darker. His eyes suddenly flood with doubt, uncertainty and frustration. I need to know how can I help him, because I hate to feel him so distant, so disconnected.

“Anakin,” I murmur. He looks at me, his eyes showing the weight of his thoughts. “Are you going to tell me what is going on with you?” I softly ask, staring at him with a sympathetic, worried frown.

"What do you mean?" He asks frowning.

“Alright, so we are going to pretend I haven’t noticed you’ve tried to ignore me for the most part of the day.” I reply, raising my left eyebrow at him. He looks away again, taking a deep breath. “If it wasn’t for me we wouldn't have spoken all day.” He doesn’t respond, instead he places his fist over his mouth, almost containing himself from speaking to me. “Are you really not going to tell me?”

“Why do you want to know?” He asks back, glancing at me for a moment.

“Well, because I care about you.” I reply raising both of my eyebrows now, letting my emotions display over my face. “And I was actually hurt.” His gaze follows me again, softening. “I was hurt when you decided to go sleep alone, I understand that you maybe wanted to and I respect it, but it made me feel bad,” I look at the ground and shake my head slightly, remembering how I felt in the morning. “And this morning, when I almost didn’t exist for you... I felt horrible, like I had done something wrong.” He closes his eyes and sighs.

“Elara, you haven’t-” He starts to say, before shaking his head and looking at the lake. “I’m sorry but, you… You haven’t done anything wrong.” Anakin’s eyes look at me apologetically, before looking away again. “It’s me, there’s something wrong with me and I need to figure it out.”

“I can help you, Ani.” I instinctively say, putting my hand on top of his, as it rests on the blanket. “You just have to let me.” He glances at it quickly and shakes his head, pulling his hand away.

“Force… You can’t, trust me.”

“I bet I can, somehow, there must be a way.” I frown, starting to feel annoyed at his behaviour.

“Please, stop doing that,” He immediately replies, moving his hands to accompany his frustration. “You’re just… You are just making it worse.” I frown at him, as my heart feels a sudden piercing ache.

“Oh, am I?” I respond, letting out an ironic scoff. “Maybe if you’d tell me…” He glances at me with his eyes narrowed and nods, also replying with a scoff. We are both too proud and cocky to have a conversation in this tone.

“It’s funny that for someone who knows how to read people easily, you can’t seem to figure out what is going on with me.” He tells me, clearly annoyed at my clouding judgement. Trust me, I am just as bothered by it as he is.

“I know, it’s frustrating but I can’t...” I reply, taking a moment to breathe. I shift my body, fully facing him now, and I frown with worry. I don’t want this to turn into an argument, because the point of the discussion is basically that I care about him. I don’t want to distance myself more. “It’s killing me, Anakin. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

The fiery veil that had fallen upon his eyes fades. As his frown softens, his expression becomes much more peaceful. I stare into his eyes, waiting for him to tell me anything, and as I wait, my heart seems to want to speed the beat of time.

One more time, I find myself trapped in his eyes. The way his gaze always seems to pull me towards him, wrapping that warmth that he provides around me, fascinates me. But this time it feels different, it does feel like I am slowly being pulled closer to him, as if we were magnetic opposites.

I see the future in the dark depth of his azure eyes, as our faces get closer to each other. But I don’t stop it; I can’t seem to stop it. I’m in a sweet trance, under the effects of his warm presence, that one that has always called to me.

When our lips meet, it feels like an eternity has passed before this moment. My euphoric heart leaps inside of my chest, and a rush of energy travels through all my body. Anakin’s lips are soft, as they shyly move. I can’t seem to move mine, I am still tasting the first impact of the moment.

He seems to pull away, but I follow him, not breaking away as I start to get the taste of his lips. As one of my hands rests on his cheek, feeling his warm skin under my touch, his fingertips slip through the back of my neck. His lips are no longer shy, now I see his bold motion. I follow his pace, tasting the sweet and hot savour of his lips.

As I get closer to him, his other hand wraps around my waist. I slide my hand through his shoulder, holding on to him. I feel our shaking, euphoric bodies close; our trembling fingertips, overwhelmed at the touch.

This is the warmest he has ever felt to me. And I  _ like _ it.

But I  _ shouldn’t _ .

I feel Anakin’s frown, just before my lips freeze and I rapidly pull away. It takes the both of us a second to realise the reality of the situation, before our hands leave each other’s bodies. I look at the ground with a frown, before picking my dress and shoes. As I stand up.

“Elara, I-” He starts to say, but I shake my head.

“No, no, it’s…” I quickly interrupt him. What is it? I can’t even mentally process anything, how do I even verbalise it? I put on my shoes and shake my head again, avoiding meeting his gaze. “I am going to leave, I’m sorry.”

I turn around and as I walk away with the dress in my hands, I feel incredible guilt. I don’t want to leave him there alone, this was supposed to be a nice day in the beach. I fucked that up. And I don’t even understand how it happened.

When I reach the house, the staff glances at me strangely. The lady that walks around the house in her desirable nightgown, and her revealing swimsuit is rushing towards her room, to have some peace of mind after the chaos that erupted in my head.

I need to take a shower.

After that, I’ll think about… Everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Sorry it took me so long to post, but I wanted this chapter to be perfect and I have been busy with ending the semester. However, now that's finished here's this wonderful chapter that I loved writing! Thank you again for supporting it!
> 
> Are you excited for next chapter?
> 
> Laura

**Author's Note:**

> The book was completed back in 2017 and is now under heavy editing, but some chapters and more visual material is available in Wattpad if you are interested. Thank you!


End file.
